#iamtau

Thinking you never thought about making it to your 30s is apparently a sign of depression but like, it's more that I just didn't have any clue where I would end up. Like what the fuck do you plan for when you didn't accomplish anything you set out to do at first

Of course the answer is "keep looking" but you can't tell me everyone took that like a champ, shit's scary lmao

When asking about what kinda things I did before landing my current job, I offhandedly told my 65yo colleague about the paths I tried, the sights I've seen, the careers that didn't go anywhere and the different skills I picked up along the way

And I don't know why it never struck that deep before but his response of "wow, you lived so many lives already" kinda put things in perspective for me

Because fuck, I really did. I know 3 types of welding, I can drive a forklift, I can draw, voiceact, I traveled halfway across world to find love in Brazil and friendship in the US, did coding courses, I stream on Twitch, I love to collect bootleg electronics, and learned to be more social on my own whilst having no higher education, a severe inferiority complex and autism

You just can't plan to turn out like a weird, insecure but capable adult that knows so much about the world

I focused so hard on obtaining some sort of happiness beyond the horizon I didn't think to look behind me

Make one think they still have another 30 years to figure shit out, y'know?

There's so much more I still want to do. I wanna make video games and write stories. I wanna find love again. I wanna travel more, see places and meet people I'd be scared shitless to say hi to just a decade ago