#iamsharing

Through my life I have never experienced being one of the exceptional student in class. Okay let us not include that part of my life wherein I was rank one in our class when I was in 10th grade that is not counted. I have never acknowledge myself as one of the top performing student in class. I just feel like I am lacking in many areas which makes me unworthy to be called “intelligent” or what ever. 

Right now I am suppose to be reviewing for my finals tomorrow, but here I am writing these weird thoughts as if my life depends on it. I think this is what you get when you refuse to let out your thoughts to other people. It’s weird because I feel like they wouldn’t even bother to listen with my sentiments because even me, I am getting tired of myself. Every single day I always get a lot of reasons why I need to be disappointed about myself.

I have never imagine myself getting frustrated about my grades and academic performance. For the past years of my life I feel like everything is blur. I cannot even think of memorable event in my life for the past two years. I think I lost myself somewhere and I have no idea where to find it. I envy those people who are growing and happy about their life. Take a look at me? I have no idea what the hell is going on? I always say to myself that my turning point and plot twist in life will happen soon, but deep inside I am really anxious. What if that ‘soon’ never happen? What if I am just fooling myself? Future is driving me nuts. 

CARPE DIEM means seize the day. I always love to read that phrase, but I have never really done that. My day wouldn’t end without thinking of uncertainties. I feel like I am gonna explode anytime.