#iamfangu

Question.

Whatever happened to his lyrium storyline? As I was nearing the end of the game I just wanted to be finished with it, so I didn’t bother checking in with him. The guy is a drug addict ffs. (A very pretty drug addict!) Are there any scenes at all where he turns ugly? Does he ever throw up, lie sick as a dog, or sweat like a pig to the point he’s unable to do his (much loved) job?

I haven’t seen gifsets. I haven’t seen meta. Which leads me to the conclusion they glossed over all of that with cutesy romance crap. Which leads me to, again, think that there isn’t enough fanfic in this world to fix this game.

Yeeeeeeeeeaaahhhhhhhhh.

Cullen is a very polite and conscientious drug addict who keeps his personal problems private and mostly off screen. The main clue that something is wrong is how he looks unwell in certain scenes (watery red eyes, unwell complexion). There is a quest that allows the Inquisitor to investigate the matter but...

...TBH, people are pretty divided on how this was handled. First, here is what happens in the game as one of Cullen's personal quests:

Scene 1. Shortly after arriving in Skyhold, Cullen tells the Inquisitor he's a lyrium addict, that he's stopped taking it, and that Cassandra is watching him in the event he cannot continue working.

Scene 2. After completing the entire "Wardens Do Something Stupid" quest, Cullen tells Cassandra that he is no longer fit to work and storms off. Cassandra tells the Inquisitor to "talk sense" into Cullen. The Inquisitor walks in on Cullen privately tossing an angry fit. Cullen becomes apologetic (to inquisitor) and ugly/angry (to himself). Inquisitor has various choices ranging from highly supportive to very cold and authoritative, but they all end up as either supporting Cullen's decision to make it through the withdrawl/cravings or to order him back onto lyrium either by offering a supportive temporary solution with the chance of weening off it later or a cold order to shut up, be a templar, and take the blue stuff because that is what the inquisition needs him to do. No matter what, Cullen tells the inquisitor he needs to be alone for a little while (no further dialogue possible).

Scene 3a.  If the Inquisitor had a supportive plan for Cullen, after the inquisitor goes anywhere else on the map (leave skyhold and come back), he goes for a walk with inquisitor to enjoy the fresh air and says that he feels better, mostly, but not entirely and the physical symptoms come and go. The inquisitor can be supportive and Cullen is thankful, or the inquisitor can have a strong word with him and tell him to stop taking risks and Cullen responds soberly. Cullen talks about hating who he previously was. If the Inquisitor is in a budding relationship with Cullen there are other options (also supportive).

Scene 3b. If the Inquisitor ordered Cullen back on lyrium for the good of the inquisition, a different scene plays ... I need to trigger this in game to make certain how the game/story logic works but I have seen it on youtube. I think it is possible to make one final decision as to whether Cullen is on lyrium because the inquisition orders him to do it, or to find a supportive route to ween him off later. TBD once I find the right save files and go the other route. Either way, it appears that the quest ends with scene 3a or scene 3b.

Optional Post-Quest Ending:  Once that quest ends and the Inquisitor re-visits Cullen in his office, if Cullen is "officially" off lyrium or if the Inquisitor has offered a supportive solution to have Cullen continue taking lyrium for work reasons but to ween himself off of it once the inquisition is over, Cullen is interested in a relationship if the Inquisitor meets his romance criteria. He'll ask the Inquisitor out on a date (a quiet afternoon hanging out at lake in rural Ferelden where he used to go to when young). If the Inquisitor ordered him back on Lyrium for the sake of the Inquisition, Cullen will have no interest in romance (assuming that option was previously available) and remains cold, curt, and professionally distant toward the Inquisitor during specific future scenes.

The only other mention occurs during a committed romance scene where Cullen has a nightmare while asleep (the Inquisitor is awake) and, after he wakes up, he mentions that lyrium previously took the edge off of his nightmares. Given that he has had multiple prior opportunities in multiple prior scenes to (a) mention the nature and extent of his psychological stress-related problems to the Inquisitor and (b) confirm that he is a workaholic (implied in some dialogue options that his workaholic nature is unhealthy and used as a coping mechanism), with application of fridge logic one can safely infer that after Cullen stopped taking lyrium, he has been under a lot of physical and psychological stress, he hasn't been sleeping well, he was probably far sicker than he let on to anyone, and he kept as much of this to himself as possible, masking and/or replacing his issues by working around the clock.

...

TBH, the text description above sounds far, far, far better than how the some of the scenes were scripted. One scene is annoyingly overacted, and two of the inquisitor's supportive/romance responses have a coying "kiss and make everything better" candy coated sweet feeling to them.

Overall, Cullen is presented as a very private, polite, professional minded, conscientious drug addict who is experiencing a very private form of self-loathing and wants to completely break from his former life. I don't have a problem with that characterization. It is believable, human, and it fits his arc.

But I think the writing during specific key/climatic moments for anyone who takes the supportive BFF route or supportive S.O. route was heavy handed, "soap opera-esque," and too much like talking to an eager puppy, thus lacking the lighter yet deeper confident touch of a writer who could create more humanely human moments. So, those few little moments were Cringeworthy Bad Fic rather than Strong Character Driven Fiction.

...

As for fandom's divide..

Some people, self mostly included, think that the emphasis on Cullen's privateness was the better choice, along with keeping the worst of his moments off screen, which includes him telling the Inquisitor to go away (that period of time where he isn't available for dialogue). There is enough obvious evidence that he is going through a physical relapse-withdrawl cycle which is compounded with his other stress-related problems, and that private!Cullen is a extremely private to the point of excluding people from his life (which is strongly implied when he talks about his relationship with his siblings and in his correspondences to & from his older sister).

Some other people, self also included, think that specific paths through this arc are handled a little too glibly with a little too much overacting followed by sugar coated candy. In my not at all humble writerly opinion, this could have been fixed 10000% without changing the word count or the screen time. Good, nuanced writing would have saved the day, but the writer clearly wasn't up to it. I cringe during one scene because it is so fucking bad. So very fucking badly written. Soap opera bad.

And, yet some other people (which does not include me and NOPE) are in lurve with the idea of dramallama H/C that simultaneously glorifies and trivializes the fact that certain Inquisitors are dating a recovering drug addict.

You can youtube all the various outcomes. TBH, the best writing wound up in the paths where the Inquisitor is a cold task master who orders Cullen back onto the lyrium, much to his disapproval and obvious signs of stress. I think it very sad that Bioware created believably real, humanistic scenes for turning down Cullen's request for support yet Bioware created cloying fluff for being supportive. There is something insulting in this, yes? Although this kind of insult is in keeping with most of Bioware's writing for the entire DA series so -- *shrug* -- what can you expect?

To me, THAT is interesting. That’s a sign of a Character To Watch.  

And, well, we all know what happens in DA:O and DA2. 

What I like about Cullen is that unless he is in a situation of extreme duress, he is trying to think for himself. This shows up in various dialogues with Hawke (which are all very interesting, imho). Certainly, his position on mages and magic has hardened a good deal after the Uldred incident but he never becomes dogmatic. He always appears aware of his decision to follow rules. That awareness means that he is engaging in some amount of self-reflection rather than just acting without thinking. Further, he makes the decision to bend rules or reinterpret rules as he sees fit starting in Act 1.  He’s actively trying to make sense of a world where the puzzle pieces don’t quite fit together and some of the pieces are missing. I find these kinds of characters Very Interesting.

All of this ties into balancing beliefs with experiences. He believes in his religion and his duty as a templar and when his experiences challenge his beliefs, he appears to reflect. Cullen could have become a zealotic dogmatic templar — the kind of templar that made him uncomfortable during the mage origin story — but this never happens. Sure, he’s cautious and he doesn’t engage in the kind of heroics that audiences often want to see, but those stories have been told millions of times. I’m far more interested in stories about “normal” people who are a part of the problem and how their understanding of problematic situations (and their complicity in such situations) evolves.

Even with the toothgap which, to me, looks like a momentary rendering artifact rather than an intentional tooth gap -- BUT HOPEFULLY I AM PROVEN WRONG -- he still has the 25 year old American Top Model look. 

When speaking of flaws that create something more humanly unique and less generic-and-photoshopped, Cullen 1.0 had rather average nose, a mild overbite, a mouth that is a little too big for conventional standards, cheekbones that are a little too bony, a mole, and a very distinctive face:

Whether or not this constitutes a rugged handsomeness is up for debate. Some fans say yes, definitely. Some say no, I just shrug (the profile is aesthetically interesting) but whatevz, at least it is unique.

The new game takes place in 9:40. Origins took place in 9:30. Although no official age has been stated for Cullen, there are good reasons to believe that he was in his early-mid 20s in 9:30 (despite the Cullen 1.0 model looking far older). So, Cullen is at least 34 or 35 in 9:40 if not older. Despite the privileges afforded to templars, I imagine that his life has not been a pampered one. And, according to his writer, he has been a templar for half of his life. So, lyrium for 17+ years?  17+ years of stress caused by the dangers of being a templar in a circle and in a city full of blood mage activity? I just do not picture Cullen as a young look 35 year old. Worn and weary 35+ seems more in character.

I feel like Cullen 3.0 should have been his Origins model, back when he was a young naive templar who didn't really understand his responsibilities, and Cullen 1.0 should be his model for the new game as a military commander who has seen two circles go to hell and a city tear itself apart a couple of times.

Well, there is always fanart! Artist-self might feel that the need to correct this characterization issue outweighs my reluctance to make fanart. ;D

Although, honestly, when I am given a list of physical traits that I would select to create an aesthetically hot male character, Cullen 3.0 is not it.