#i'm pressed

{ roses only wilt when the love dies. and although you thought it was over, the love never was }

member: jaemin

genre: angst 

word count: 1.1k

[7:46am]

the throbbing of your head seemed to get worse as you woke up from your slumber. not remembering a single thing, hour, minute or second. completely and utterly confused as to where you were...

“morning, how’s the head?”

yet you didn’t expect to be in na jaemin’s bedroom on this early sunday morning.

struggling to pull your eyes open to a partially comfortable state, you groaned in immense pain.

“i have aspirin, it should help”, the boy said as he inched closer to where you were laying, realizing you were lying on his bed.

his. damn. bed.

“wait? WHAT!”, you yelled a little too loudly watching as jaemin’s face rose up in subtle shock. “where- we- i-”, you were scrambling under the sheets at this point peering down to see if any items of clothing had been removed, only to find yourself in a familiar over-sized t-shirt. and you couldn’t help but sadly smile.

“look!” you panicked again, jaemin stood patiently, looking lost. “i- don’t know what happened, but i think- i think i should go”.

your voice was shaky as you spoke, you hauled yourself out of bed tiredly but hurriedly grabbing your phone and anything else you could possibly find that was yours, walking around the space aimlessly.

“y/n...”.

the way he said it again. you always thought your name was so boring. so inconsistent. but he made it seem like the best thing in the world. when he said it, you couldn’t help but wonder why you missed it so much. and why it hurt so much more than you thought.

he walked over to where you were, nearing the door as you were about ready to leave. he noticed the tears welling up in your eyes. he always used to. the way he sensed your emotions. as much as you hated to admit it he knew you like an open book. every page off by heart.

he was so close now, but you weren’t threatened. his eyes making contact with yours so quickly and so suddenly. that’s when all the memories came flooding back...

every memory.

you met the sweet na jaemin at school all those years ago. the way in which he made you blush every time you caught him looking at you in class. his smile when you caught him.

on a tuesday, he gave you a single red rose before valentine’s day. he said he couldn’t wait for the real day. he asked you out in a note attached to the rose.

you liked him for being different. he didn’t have to be apart of a cliche. and he knew you weren’t into that. you both weren’t. you were both unconventional. and you believed that’s why you were brought together.

na jaemin was your first date. he didn’t take you to a fancy restaurant nor did he settle for a movie. he took you to his favorite place, underneath the stars. a picnic for two.

as you swam underneath the waterfall of his favorite place. you were play fighting in the water. as you engulfed his entire face, his hair completely tousled over his face as he tackled you within the shallow regions, obtaining the feeling of jaemin’s hands around your waist and his lips upon your lips. na jaemin was also your first kiss that night.

and it was like it was meant to be.

and soon na jaemin became your first love. how the unconventional turns conventional. but it was always different. it was a love that couldn’t be obtained from any other. it was a love that couldn’t wilt. not even to this day when your heart is shattered. completely. utterly. not once did the rose he gave you wilt.  

that’s how you knew it was always meant to be, even if it didn’t last physically. the rose never gave in to wilt. neither did your feelings.

“keep it”, he turned his gaze away from you.

you didn’t say anything. you weren’t sure what he meant by it. and while you wanted to say so much, the only thing you could muster was a “hmm?” at his proposal.

“keep the shirt”.

he didn’t turn back to you to notice you fidgeting uncontrollably. he didn’t turn back because he too was broken. you didn’t know he felt the same heartache. you didn’t know till right now.

you left without a word.

[1:03am]

you couldn’t sleep that night. you knew you wouldn’t be able to. not like this. not with all these unspoken words. you wondered why he helped you from your drunk state when he knew what happened last time. you had broken up 4 months ago.

jaemin wasn’t a cheater. you were. you were drunk and you kissed his best friend. something you didn’t remember until you woke up the next morning to several texts from jaemin. and after meeting you, you both broke apart.

but the love never died. you made a mistake. you never loved jeno. you always loved jaemin. and always will.

[1:03am] you: thank you jaemin. and i’m sorry.

to your slow surprise he couldn’t sleep either.

[1:03am] jaem: always. please get some rest. hope your head is okay?

[1:04am] you: atm yes, it’s fine. good night

[1:05am] jaem: goodnight y/n

your mind wanted so bad to leave it there. you wanted to forget all that has happened, all that you put yourselves through. but you couldn’t get over it. you always felt guilty. always knew it was your fault. and you always knew that you couldn’t fix what you created. you just had to let it be. but you could never get over him. because what ended your love, shouldn’t have happened in the first place. you felt it when you decided to sleep in his shirt again tonight.

[1:10am] you: why did you let me keep the shirt?

[1:12am] jaem: it’s your favorite, remember...

[1:13am] you: but it’s your favorite too. it’s your shirt.

[1:14am] jaem: it’s my favorite because it looks the best on you

that alone made you blush still. the butterflies never left. every time you saw him it was like a zoo of butterflies, and it would increase day by day. but the guilt in some of them said otherwise. maybe the butterflies never stopped growing, but they weren’t the same butterflies you had produced from the beginning.

the scent almost sent your anxiety away instantly every time you wore this shirt. your eyes drifting off as your phone’s notification tempted your ears emitting light from under your face.

[1:25am] jaem: and no y/n

it’s dumb and i hate it. i think that this sort of thing doesn’t need to be added into a game like the sims. the costumes were fun back when they were just costumes but adding a whole pack about star wars is so ridiculous and alienating (no pun intended). it doesn’t bother me that it’s going to be a story driven pack, i just think the whole premise is a bad idea to add to a game that has nothing to do with star wars.