#hymenectomy

I want to start using tampons and eventually cups, because I hate the way pads feel and smell. It’s now physically possible for me to do this. I have had a goddamn vaginal ultrasound since the hymenectomy, I saw the wand and have copies of the images, I know that everything’s okay down there and there’s room now.

But I am clearly going to need to practice with dilaters for a while, because I cannot even get the tampon applicator all the way in. It still feels too narrow and like I’m going to hurt myself. Which isn’t entirely unreasonable, because the first few times I tried this, I did hurt myself, and I was a kid and that burnt pretty deeply into my brain. It’s something that requires desensitization, viz, using the dilaters.

Hi Nonnie! CONGRATS on looking and exploring your own body! It’s so important for people with vulvas and vaginas to feel that they can know themselves and not be shamed for it! You’re just one more person actively creating a safe space for people to get to know their genitals. SO RIGHT ON!

First: I am not a doctor. So I can not really help you distinguish between the names for the different formations of hymen skin. HOWEVER, I can safely say that, as with all things, the hymen classifications we have are likely LARGELY based on generalizations about how the skin looks. So they’re not indicative of everyone. They’re more like broad categories that most people can/may fit into. 

So the important thing here is that you know about where you fit on the spectrum. And knowledge is power. So you now know why its hurts to use tampons or finger yourself. Therefore you can make an active choice about your one body! Such as:

to slowly and gently start stretching the skin out yourself (to help alleviate any pain if ever you should want to have sexual intercourse, or a sexual encounter with a partner, or masturbate with a dildo or something that you’d insert into your vagina etc.) to improve your overall quality of life.

to seek out an ob/gyn (medical professional) and talk about having a hymenectomy to alleviate unnecessary pain to improve your overall quality of life.

If you really want to know which classification of hymen skin you have, I would recommend making an appointment with an ob/gyn and asking them. This would also open the door for you to discuss with them about options for having it removed—if that’s something you’d like to do. 

I am a HUGE advocate of getting a hymenectomy to improve quality of life! It’s disappointing that people don’t talk about them openly and that so many people with vulvas and vaginas have to suffer unnecessarily with pads (nothing wrong with pads but if you hate them and can’t use tampons because of your hymen skin—that just SUCKS), painful masturbation and potentially SCARRING AND HUMILIATING sexual encounters.

Expect the exam to be awkward, but keep reminding yourself that you’re there to enlist the services of a gynecologist/doctor/trained professional to improve the quality of your life. 

They provide a service that you require to better your life and to be able to live it how you want to life it. 

I am very pragmatic and logical, so I always find it useful to envision it this way: I am a patient, yes. But I hold all the power. I can say stop or go at any time, and I am there of my own free will because they can help me in ways I cannot help myself. 

Over time high testosterone/estrogen levels and/or other still-unknown factors can allow any hymen to level up in toughness/rigidity, grow to cover up punctures/cuts, etc. But it's much less likely to "self-repair" such that it becomes microperforate/imperforate if it didn't start out that way.

But basically you'd need to ask it, as this is a very personal and individual decision, for hymens. Which clearly don't care about my opinions about how they should behave.