#nonsexual

Stops and looks really sad for a few seconds

Everyone needs to uplift intersex people, so no I'm not going to back down and stop talking about how people with a micropenis have nothing to be ashamed of. And that goes for all on the agenital spectrum.

Literally me

Not like, in a sexual way or anything (I'm underage ♥), or even really in a negative way, just like, sometimes I have a video going on my tablet or phone (I use my tablet while my phone is locked for the night, and my phone when my phone isn't locked), music playing on my computer, I have a fidget toy (or am just fidgeting with something) AND I'm reading stuff on my comp, or even writing

and like, I can feel my brain struggling to focus on anything cus of all the things going on at the same time, and it's like when I'm trying to watch my video on my phone w/headphones on, but my nephew's baby shows are playing on the TV, he's being loud for some reason, and either my brother(in law) is talking back to him, watching a video on HIS phone (usually no headphones) while mostly ignoring him, or my brother and sister are talking while all this is happening, and that makes me kinda anxious and really uncomfortable, but I can't say anything cus that'd be rude cus my nephew is five and otherwise I'm interupting his parents, but like, the overstimulation I get from having all my different devices feels similar, but not in a bad way

do you get what I'm saying?? like it's overstimulating, and kinda gives me the same anxious/uncomfortable tickling feeling in my chest, and the same like, panicked/unfocused thoughts, but it doesn't feel bad, and so I just sit with it and get practically nothing done, cus I can't pay attention to the video well, I can't listen to the lyrics of the music, I can't actually focus enough to write/read, and I'm left only really spinning a fidget toy, but it's like

a good kind of unable to do anything

like it feels kinda nice to have all the different things going at once to the point I literally can't function right/focus on any of them, like the uncomfortable feeling in my chest is somehow nice to the point I'd rather stay overstimulated

is that weird?

or like

concerning??

should I talk to someone about that do you think???

I don't do it a lot (or even really consciously), but sometimes I reaize that I have a video w/ audio going, music, I'm fidgeting with something, and trying to read/write (sometimes not even fidgeting with anything, but it mostly happens in my bedroom, where I always have a noise maschine (bubbling brook) running, and sometimes a fan too, also sometimes just the air conditioning, which is 1-3 different noises too, and sometimes there's noise outside my room from my nephew too), and I can tell I'm getting overstimulated, but I just like

keep going with what I was doing

cus I don't want the feeling to stop even tho it's kinda uncomfortable (cus yk, I'm overstimulated)

like

it's an oddly fuzzy (as in fuzzy/pos, like the kind you get when reading/writing fluff, yk?) feeling when I have enough control over my environment to just kinda stop it when I want to

idk