#hunbli

Próbáltam felnőttként megtanulni a zongorát, de feladtam.

4 - 5 hónapja újra nekiálltam, szaros kis thrift store casiommal, prüntyögtem nagyon szenvedős volt, de eljutottam oda, hogy akkord kíséret, vagy hogy a faszba hívják a zenészek. Na itt kivirágoztam, ez már ment. El is engedtem a solo playt, meg a klasszikus zongorát, lecseréltem a casiot egy komolyabbra, es ma eljutottam odáig, hogy lejátszottam a cranberries zombiet, segítség nélkül, csak a yt videót követve, különféle dallamfutamokkal szórakozva, és kurva büszke vagyok most magamra.

Meg nem mutatom, mert a szám vége felé mindig borul az agyam és kiesek a ritmusból, vagy az akkordból és csak verem a zongorát, de akkor is gecijó érzés.

And I thought I was numb to all of this. I have friends who have been in long term queer relationships and could only imagine getting married in Austria or France. And that was normal for us. We discussed all kinds of horrible circumstances, what if Hungary leaves the EU, what if we side with Russia, what if they make harsher rules against queer people. We were just going to deal with it and keep on living, move away, get out, get through it, find a way.

Then we had an election this year and after 16 years they finally lost. And I was so relieved and happy. My father opened champagne. There were people dancing in the streets. It was a great day to be Hungarian.

But i didn’t cry. Not until yesterday, watching the inauguration for the new government, where an openly lesbian hungarian-romani woman sang her most famous song that she said she’d never perform again. The song’s titled Magyarország ( Hungary), and it’s a patriotic one ( which I’m not but I don’t hate this song). She stopped performing it because she faced racist attacks for it, and because she lost hope in its message and in the country. But yesterday she sang it on the steps of our Parliament and yeah I’m sobbing.

Aki van Bluesky-on, szóljon plíz, milyen felhasználónévvel!