#human pets

Soundwave calling the Autobots' humans their pets made me realize something about the way the Autobots and Decepticons think of their respective humans.

Autobots: "The humans are our friends and partners."

Meaning: Trusted allies, if not equals. Resourceful and admirable as a species, fun on a person-to-person level, but ultimately in need of protection in even a light skirmish.

Decepticons: "Danny is Starscream's pet."

Meaning: That's his best friend, as near to being family as two different species can be, and he's beloved by most of the rest of the ship. Also, being Screamer's pet meant him being hard to kill and damn near impossible to chase off, and that IS a compliment. And both sides have the potential to be so offended by the other's opinion on their humans! The cultural differences! Calling Danny Starscream's pet is both an insult and a compliment, and also just kinda true. 

He comes and goes as he pleases like a half-feral cat, he's a positive influence around the ship, and he's not all that involved in the Con's war, except peripherally as a medical assistant. You don't expect your pet to go to do your job for you, after all.

Meanwhile, the Autobots... Well. They have that annoying, overbearing moral superiority thing going on, where they dehumanize (for lack of a better word) the Decepticons, portraying them to their allies as evil monsters incapable of rational thought, but also, they'd get all mortally offended if Soundwave called their humans "pets" to their faces.

IDK, I'm not wording this well, but just the idea of the bots and cons pitching a fit over the implied level of affection they have for their humans, made complicated by the connotations of the words they used, is funny to me. Also, I love my cat, I respect that she could easily blind me if she wanted to, and her being called my pet tells everyone how loved she is.

Finally, thank you for this lovely update! Beautiful work

This was a comment I got on 'Falling Stars' yesterday, and I need to talk about it!

This is honestly such a cool comment! And it words the way I think about it perfectly! They both very clearly have different ways of perceiving humans. Especially because the term 'pet' is not always a bad thing. Think like for us, I would die for my pet dogs, I know I would. They are some of the best things in my life, and it really is so interesting to think about.

This also really helps emphasize how you can tell the different ways you interact with that person. The Autobots humans demand to be treated as equals, not be talked down to. They would be upset at any implication otherwise, especially if they were called pets.

Minecraft what a wonderful thing now let’s see what I can do with it (rubbing hands evilly) 😈

ao3/YouTube/Discord/TikTok name: My_Hero_Ace_Plus_Phoenix

Original fic link: https://archiveofourown.org/users/My_Hero_Ace_Plus_Phoenix/works

q: what type of music do they sing?

Somebody on my tik tok asked this - you can ask them here too

actually I was thinking about doing an Alien stage ask blog for the og characters and stuff but I'm kinda afraid os getting something wrong...

He opened the door to find whoever was there gone, a plastic box emitting a faint hum covered with a towel sitting on his door stoop. Beachcomber sighed and brought the box inside.

Swindle must have lied again, passing off a pregnant or disabled human as a special breed again.

Beachcomber wasn't shocked to find a human and its offspring in the box, the little mech, barely past the toddler stage, running up to an offered finger using his arms, his bowed, too small feet just barely skimming the ground, the toes on one twisted and fused. Beachcomber smiled, admiring how happy-go-lucky this one was. There was no harm in letting him run around. His mother was minding him well enough.

He hooked up a little extra oxygen and refilled their water, and added a vitamin additive to their food. He sent a comm to the vet specialist he often worked with, he himself having taken and aced a general veterinarian course on humans, but that was good for setting bones, delivering babies, and routine checkups, not prosthesis fittings or possibly amputations if the boy's feet didn't respond to treatment.

"Someone needs to start regulating beyond just euthanasia and vaccines. This is the fourth surrender I have had this decacycle." He muttered, carefully bringing the carrying case to his makeshift human room, setting it into the much bigger quarantine tank and opening the case door to let the humans explore on their own.

If they didn't get sick, Beachcomber had a few other rescues he knew wouldn't mind sharing a tank, given their own hutch and feeding spaces, of course. He always ended up correcting new owners about how dangerous it was to feed all their humans from one food or water source, along with stressing the importance of putting a hide around waste and bathing areas, and that they even needed them in the first place. Most of the mechs who Beachcomber saw were open to change anyway, willing to pay that small fee for a private health exam instead of just the required vaccination clinics. But, he still felt the need to publish resources, findings, and guidelines online, especially considering that most of the importers of humans are still shady and unregulated smugglers, and those that are well trusted pet traders are still working with lawmakers for the proper permits.

Reputable breeders haven't been very successful yet, as humans mate for life, or at least, are heavily monogamous. Most of the pregnant humans he had entrusted in his care were accidents, and their owners wanted them returned once they delivered their offspring.

But, their were a few mechs who panicked or couldn't afford a second human to feed.

Anyway, after he fed Cali, his latest pregnant boarder, he would film a segment for his human care series and wait for any walk-ins.

He walked upstairs and into his room and retrieved his first human, an older male named James. He had been offered James by a local landlord, as a previous tenant had left him behind, and upkeep was too expensive for her tastes.

James was sweet and enjoyed filming, showing off to the camera, and generally being easy to handle.

"We are filming a training segment today, James. Be good, and I will let you introduce yourself to the new arrivals."

James nodded, and Beachcomber smiled. He doubted he understood full sentences, but Beachcomber knew that he understood "arrival, " "filming," and "training," from repetition. He walked into the exam room, his two story apartment separated into a downstairs storefront and sitting room and upstairs living quarters. He set up the camera and turned it on, smiling and welcoming his viewers to his care series, showing the camera his degree and certifications and telling them the name of his clinic before moving on to the command he had taught James earlier that week.

"This one is good for vet visits and general care. James, come." James walked over to Beachcomber's hand, letting him ruffle his hair before taking a treat, tucking it into his pocket. "The benefits of this command are abundant, as it allows for easy removal in emergencies and at vet appointments. Practice while your human is alert and fed at least once that cycle to reduce stress. Reward for any small progress, as the goal for this command is for your human to be willing to leave food, toys, or social interaction for your hand. As a substitute, you can also combine this command with a tap on the side of your human's tank for easy administration of medicine. They tend to respond to a tap on the glass better, as they feel it when asleep and using the private bathing and sitting waste areas that should be standard in all human tank setups."

James pawed at Beachcomber's fingers, and Beachcomber chuckled and scratched his head again. "That's all for today, folks. I've taken in a few rescues, so uploads may be sparce in the coming weeks. Feel free to leave questions in the comment section and subscribe for more instructional videos and tips, and remember to properly vaccinate your humans! I will keep you updated on more low and free human clinics that pop up on my radar."

Beachcomber turned off the camera and brought James downstairs to hang out with Jane, a human with vitiligo that was left on a subscriber's doorstep. She had some expensive dietary needs, so the subscriber brought her to him instead of the rescues that had started to pop up.

The specialist had gotten back to him, willing to see the two humans he had brought in on short notice.

Beachcomber put on some gloves and carefully moved the two humans back into the carrying case. He checked on the rest of his rescues, then closed the clinic for the afternoon and brought him to his specialist, Caremark. She was a no-nonsense femme, and she didn't mess around with chasing the two humans around, connecting a canister of laughing gas to the case and waiting for the two to get sleepy. She confirmed their sex before moving the mech to her scanner to examine his feet, showing Beachcomber that his bad foot had badly fused toes and foot bones, the nerves and muscles pinched and twisted. She casted and splinted the mech's feet for now, wanting to try a nonsurgical route before committing to amputation or surgery to correct the bones. She sent him on his way with some pain medication, the mech's mother being perfectly healthy.

He walked back to his apartment and reopened the clinic for walk-ins as he kept an eye on the groggy humans.

No one but his one scheduled appointment showed up, so after closing, he brought his one adoptable human, Haley, to the nearby Rescue Bots Academy to get a little bit of socialization with the professors' families of humans. She was lukewarm with their redheaded male, and Heatwave hoped having a mate would make him mellow out a bit.

They already had two family units, a single father and his offspring that Boulder had successfully gotten to accept an older female and, surprisingly, managed to have a single offspring with, and the massive, five human family unit of a male, his three adult offspring, and an adolescent, all living in relative peace. This was the group that Heatwave was trying to split up, as they had a truly massive tank, and the academy directors were getting annoyed with how often recruits would hang out in Heatwave's office and classroom after class to watch them and ask questions.

But, all attempts to get the adults interested in settling into new groups failed, as even though they were happy with being on their own with one of the professors, they were just not a fan of sharing a space with any other humans but their whole group. But, the director's word was law, even if Beachcomber thought the whole thing was stupid.

Reclining across the mattress with its lush emerald duvet, the Chrono Ranger’s silver uniform appeared to twinkle under the long swath of moonlight from the window. How long had it been since Drakkon had departed for the lavish gala being thrown in his honor? It had to be hours, surely…

He sighed, scratching at the thick leather collar encircling his neck, a demeaning symbol of ownership, yes…

But the tiny bell that tinkled at his every move was just the tyrant being an asshole.

Tarn's super active on the Human Hobbiest part of the Great Conversation. Like he's asked to give lectures at conventions. They're always packed. Not just because you don't want to offend the evil fairy by not inviting the evil fairy to the christening or disrespecting him while present. He's knowledgeable, articulate, and has written the definitive guide on maintaining a healthy population of personal humans. Including how to providing effective long term reversible birth control so you can have the benefits of including males in the population, the multi level benifit of allowing the humans access to gardening and agrigulcultural microcosms and the near paradoxical requirements of maintaining a healthy internal and external human microbiome.

YOU DON'T WANT TO OFFEND THE EVIL FAIRY OMG. Calling Tarn "The Evil Fairy" is absolutely amazing I can't.

Dang he's got the humans doing agriculture? He's got a human farm with it's own farm. He's in deep. I did think about him fighting with people in online forums about proper human care.

Appearance: female, short, long brown hair, green eyes, chubby, a September Virgo

Sexuality: straight, cis

Likes/Interests: history, true crime, weird medical cases, zoology, 2000’s pop, techno music, nature, thunderstorms, biology, reading, silence, writing, drawing, vintage horror movies, dry humor, antique stuff.

Personality: Very shy but once comfortable, I become more outgoing, loud, passionate and talk alot about interests but like to have days where I keep to myself. I like to keep to myself but sometimes I yearn to connect with others but I don’t know how as I’m not very good at socializing. I am timid and easy to pushover but I may argue back. Hate conflict, don’t want any. I prefer companionable silence over talking. Tend to think with my emotions but I try to think logically. I believe actions speak louder than words.

My love language is: Mainly quality time, acts of services and words of affirmation. Sometimes physical touch like hugs and resting head on them.

Dislikes/Fears: the dark, being stalked, bugs, people quick to anger, close-mindedness, people who think they know everything about something/someone but actually don't know shit. Entitlement. People who portray themselves to be good natured but are actually awful. People who preach a change but don’t bother to do anything about it. Most people in general tbh.

I match you with Dreadwing!

This Decepticon warrior might just be the most loyal and honorable Con there actually is. He takes notice of you on the battlefield, lost and scared and not an Autobot in sight so he makes the decision to grab you and take you to Nemesis with him. At least there you would be safe until he figured out what to do with you.

…But the blue con didn't expect to fall for you. You may be a human and shy one, but you're unnaturally… Cute to him. Maybe returning you home can wait for a day or a week or two?

Dreadwing makes sure you are comfortable and gives you time if you want or need it and slowly you start to warm up to him.

He is interested in you and wants to know more about you and he doesn't miss how you smile brighter when you talk about your interests such as music, history, vintage horror, and so much more. Dreadwing doesn't know that much about Earth so he asks you to teach him, a task you accept happily.

Do you believe actions speak louder than words? That's a good saying and Dreadwing himself believes in it also. He has proven to you that he cares about you and you have shown that you aren't just an ordinary human but you can see further.

He is gentle and careful with you, never raising his voice with you around him. If you ever feel like just being with him in comfortable silence he nods and enjoys your silent company.

When the two of you take your relationship to the official level, Dreadwing makes sure to always bring you something nice when he visits the Earth and he tells you every day how he loves you and how much you mean to him.

You perfectly described Starscream when talking about your dislikes and the blue Con honestly returns the feelings. He doesn't trust Starscream one bit, but he works for Megatron, to who Dreadwing's loyalty belongs, and because of that he can't hurt Starscream.

But if that schemer ever tries anything with you, Dreadwing doesn't hold back anymore. Your safety comes before Starscream's well-being.

Shockwave is your Owner!

At first, Shockwave paid no mind to humans. They were just pests living off as parasites on Earth, on Unicron's body.

When he first saw you, he was going to ignore you and be on his way and continue his experiments, but then he thought about it...

The Autobots seem to thrive with human pets of their own so maybe having you as Shockwave's pet would increase his work ethic and better yet produce superior results?

With that in his mind, he turned, picked you up, and took you back to Nemesis with him.

You are shy and quiet and he doesn't mind it one bit, but he soon understands that he should not underestimate you.

For a human, you are very observant of your surroundings and you can make realistic assumptions based on the information you're given.

Shockwave will give you things to keep you occupied and from growing bored or even dull. He gives you things to use like a computer but enables it so you can't request help. Pet or not, even those can bite the hand that feeds them.

Arguments don't happen between the two of you. Shockwave has made it clear to you that he is the dominant one and that you are his pet. Your job is to be there for him and in return, he takes care of you.

Despite being emotionless, there are times when the Decepticon scientist does compliment you. Like, he reads one of your stories and admires your grammar or he compliments your drawing technique.

He very rarely does this, but once in a while, he will nod at you, "You have performed well given the time you had in your arsenal. You have earned yourself a chance to request a meal and dessert of your own choice for today."

Yes, he uses compliments, stuff, and food to reward you.

Shockwave will punish you if you misbehave. He thinks that the best way for a pet, for you to learn what is right and what is wrong is by punishing you when you act badly.

He will scold you, but if you don't take a hint and apologize then he will take a more extreme approach and locks you in a dark closet until you are begging for his forgiveness.