#human blinky

Jim woke with a gasp to a quiet sunny morning, jerking up and sending the magazine that had been draped over his face to the floor. His eyes flicked over the room, and he struggled to get his breathing to even out.

This… This was his bedroom. In Arcadia.

Looking as close as he could remember to how it had before… Before everything had changed. (A few things looked different… But maybe he was just remembering them wrong? It had been years since then. He could have forgotten about things he'd had on the shelves.)

(He felt dizzy, and his head hurt too. Maybe it was a side effect of the Krohnisfere?)

It… It worked? Am- am I really-?

He stumbled out of his bed, trying to keep quiet and avoid waking his mother as he pulled his cellphone off of his desk and turned it on.

His knees went weak, for just a moment, when he saw the date glowing at him from the screen. Part of him wanted to cry.

It worked.

The Krohnisfere had worked. It sent him back to the past. He could change things. He had the chance to keep everyone safe. He could save his best friend!

But what should he do? He could barely remember how that day had gone. Had he made breakfast that morning? What had he made? Had he also made lunch for that day?

Was it something simple like sandwiches or-

No, wait, he made lunch for himself, Toby, and his mother that day. Making the meatloaf almost made them late to school, that was why they’d had to take the canal shortcut in the first place. The canal where he’d heard the mysterious voice had called his name. The place that had changed everything.

He was… He would probably still get the amulet at the canal. But, should he go at get it now? If he went out now, he could probably get there and back before Toby got up.

There was a small fear (maybe an irrational one) that if he didn’t go out now then something would happen. Something or someone would get to the amulet before him and change everything. And possibly not in a good way.

He looked to the window and the barely rising sun beyond it. He let out a breath through his nose.

No, calm down Jim. Everything will be fine, you have time. The sun’s only just coming up. You can plan better this time. You’ll get there when you get there.

Things didn't kick off until he found the amulet. And he knew he needed that before he could try to change anything.

(There was a whisper at the back of his mind. One that was insisting that something was off. Something was different. But, of course something was different! He had memories from the future! A future he was going to change. For the better, this time.)

But he could start with something small.

Like managing his time a little better, and making it so that he and Toby weren't late. That would be a small, safe thing to start with. Something he could use to prove to himself that his crazy plan was possible.

He nodded to himself, feeling just the smallest bit more grounded now that he had a plan of action.

Looking down, he was momentarily confused about the fact that he wasn’t in his pjs. Had he really fallen asleep in his clothes the night before? And he’d just run out and spent a second day in them? Why had he done that?

Maybe it was a side effect of having to spend so long in the armor during the trip to New Jersey, but now the idea of going out in the same clothes he’d gone to sleep in bothered him. Or wearing the same sweater for more than two or three days in a row. He itched his clothes without thinking.

Okay, he was going to start this day differently. First by changing into something that he hadn’t slept in.

A quick change got rid of the itch and left him feeling more comfortable. Now he felt like he could start the day. He slipped out into the hall but paused at the top of the stairs.

He could hear someone in the kitchen.

Who would be in the kitchen? Maybe it was his mother? Maybe, because of the memories, he’d woken up earlier than he'd thought and she was still up? (But his mom was always in bed when the sun was rising since she worked the graveyard shift at the hospital…)

He slowly, carefully, made his way down the steps and turned to the kitchen to see who was there.

His brain stalled and the low thrum of his headache suddenly doubled in intensity.

The information in his brain wasn't making sense, because the person standing in the kitchen wasn't his mother. But his head was trying to tell him that was fine.

Instead of his mom, an impossibly familiar human man was in his kitchen, reading over a scribbled-out recipe and fussing with the oven. Like this was just another normal morning routine. Like he'd always been there, doing that sort of thing in the mornings.

That was his father. That was James Lake Sr.

That was his mentor. That was Blinkous Galadrigal.

Why was his dad there? Why did his dad look like Blinky?

Why was Blinky human again? And why was he in Jim’s Kitchen, cooking something?

Had he used the krohnisfere wrong? What was going on here? This was different from before!

The man looked up from the oven, smiling warmly at Jim as he shut it with one hand.

“Oh, good morning Jim. I thought you'd sleep in a bit longer since you’d stayed up late last night. I started that meatloaf recipe you'd wanted to try for lunch today.” He chuckled lightly, smiling as he straightened up and started wiping his hands with a towel. “Hope you don't mind that I made it before you got up. I'm sure Tobias and Barbara will enjoy it just the same.”

He sounded like Blinky. Like when he'd been turned into a human. He looked like Blinky as a human. So why was Jim’s brain trying to tell him that this was his father? That him making lunches for himself and Toby and his mom was normal?

His fath- Blink- The man looked back at Jim and paused, his face shifting to concern. The same concern he’d seen so many times before.

“Jim? What's wrong? Are you feeling alright? You look pale.” Jim was frozen as his father Blinky gently pressed a hand to his forehead, brow furrowed in worry. “You don't have a temperature. Do you feel sick? I can call the school so you can stay home if you do. I’m sure Norman and Jack can handle me coming in late…”

Call the school- This can’t be real. This can’t be real. Am I dreaming all of this? Jim’s brain was pulling up static, just staring at his dadmentorfatherfriend. His chest was suddenly, painfully tight and breathing hurt.

(If his chest hurt, then he couldn’t be dreaming. Right?)

“Jim? Son? What’s wrong?”

What was going on here? Why was Blinky here, as a human, acting like this was perfectly normal? Acting like he was Jim’s dad and he’d always been here? Like he wasn't supposed to be a troll in Trollmarket with Arrrgh and Draal and Vendal.

And he mentioned Uncle Norman… Uncle Norman passed away years ago, hadn’t he? He’d been Jim’s godfather, picked by his dad when he was a baby. But he’d passed away in an accident when Jim was eight. How would Blinky know about him? Jim didn’t remember bringing him up before. Hadn’t he? Maybe he’d mentioned him a couple times, but only in passing. Not enough for Blinky to really know about him.

“Come on Jimbo, talk to me.”

Had Jim already messed everything up? Had just using the Krohnisfere ruined everything out the gate? Had it somehow- Changed things when he’d used it? Made everything different just by him trying to save the people he’d cared about? Had everything been warped out of shape and now he wouldn’t be able to do anything to save anyone?

Was he already failing? Before he’d even had the chance to try?

“Jim!”

The startled shout drew his dazed gaze to the panicked look on Blinky’s face. He could feel Blinky’s hands gripping his arms, but the sensation was oddly numb. Like Jim was wearing a sweater that was a lot thicker than he’d thought.

Oh, he wasn’t breathing. That explained why his chest hurt. But what was the roaring in his ears about?

He blinked once. Twice.

He sucked in a small breath. (It was too shallow.)

Then he dropped.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

James swore, lurching forward and catching Jim before he could hit the floor and possibly hurt himself.

Well, this wasn’t how he’d expected the morning to go.

He gently adjusted his grip so he could lift Jim more comfortably. He didn’t want to risk getting him back up the stairs, but he could get him to the couch. (Gracious, Jim was getting far too big for him to lift anymore.)

It seemed he would be calling the school after all. He wasn’t going to try and send his son to school after he’d fainted.

But why? Jim hadn’t had a panic attack in years, what on earth could have triggered one now?

He frowned, heading back to the kitchen and calling the school to explain that Jim was staying home sick for the day. He’d assured the school nurse that he’d get Jim a note if it lasted longer than a single day, but the “cold” was nothing to worry about. That covered that base, so he wouldn’t have to worry about any well-meaning teachers coming over to check up on them.

(He was still reluctantly approving of how seriously Stricklander took the education of his human students. But he was still going to keep the changeling in the dark about how much James knew. It was the safer route, for now.)

He’d have to give Toby the same story once he came over. Knowing the young man, he would probably offer to bring Jim’s homework back for him or taking extra notes in class. Which would help keep Toby from worrying too much during the school day.

(A small task, something he could do to help, often helped ease Tobias’ mind. Took some of the stress he was prone to away.)

James drummed his fingers against the counter, thinking.

Barbara was sleeping off a late shift, so she would still be at home all day but… He didn’t want to just leave after Jim had collapsed like that. Yes, he wouldn’t be home alone but it wouldn’t be fair to either of them for him to just up and leave after something like that had happened.

Making up his mind, he picked up the phone again and dialed the office.

"You’ve reached the office of Polk & Lake P.I., this is Jack speaking. What can I do for you?” Came the familiar voice, reciting the familiar script. He’d hoped that Norman would be the one to pick up, but at least it hadn’t gone to voicemail.

“Morning Jack, it’s James.” He could hear the small, surprised noise from the other end.

“James? Why are you calling this early? I thought you’d still be making breakfast right now.”

“Normally, yes. But something’s come up and I don’t think I’ll be coming in today,” James said with a sigh. “Jim’s had a panic attack this morning. A bad one.”

There was a concerned hiss from Jack.

“Shit, is he alright?”

“I- I don’t know. It was bad, Jack. I’m keeping him at home for the day.” He clenched a hand in his shirt. He hadn’t seen Jim like that in ages, and he looked so much like he had when… When everything had gone so very wrong.

(It was coming up on the day when Jim had first gotten the amulet, wasn’t it? He hadn’t been keeping a very close eye on the dates. And humans kept track by a different system than trolls did. It was hard to make things line up.)

(But he wasn't too worried about it. He and Norman had done their best to ensure Kanjigar would be alright. And he trusted Norman’s spellwork.)

“Ah, I take it you’re planning on staying with him?”

“Yes, I don’t want to leave him by himself until Barabra gets up.”

“Understandable, I’ll let Norman know that you’re not coming in.” There was a quiet huff. "Knowing him, he’ll probably bring you lot lunch or something later just so he can check up on you both.”

“He probably will,” James said with a weak chuckle. He knew better than to point out that Jack would undoubtedly tag along with him to check on them as well. “Thanks, Jack. I suppose I’ll see you later.”

“Hope your boy feels better. And don’t make yourself sick worrying for him.” Jack’s voice took a slightly sharper note at the end, getting a small smile out of him.

“I’ll do my best. Have a good day, Jack.”

“Same to you.”

James let out a quiet sigh as the line went quiet, clicking the button to hang up on his end and setting the phone back on its dock. He set a timer for the meatloaf (no reason to pull it out or let it burn) then picked up a book Barbara had gifted him, settled back in an armchair in the living room, and waited for Jim to come around.

It was all he could really do.

So he read, occasionally glancing up to check on Jim. Only getting up to tell Tobias that Jim was staying home that day, and later to turn on the radio when the quiet of the house started to get to him.

(Though, he couldn’t help noting that Tobias had seemed rather out of it. He was acting oddly… rattled. And he looked rather sickly as well. He’d suggested the boy tell his nana to call him out too, if he wasn’t feeling well. Tobias had agreed and left but the odd behavior still stuck out.)

It was several hours later that Jim finally came around.

There was a quiet groan that James almost missed that made him look up and see his son shifting on the couch. He marked his page, quickly setting his book aside and getting to his feet. He gingerly sat down at the far end of the couch by Jim’s feet, trying to keep from jostling him too much with the movement.

“Jim?” He hedged, keeping his voice soft to avoid startling Jim. The teen still jolted, ever so slightly, and stared at him. “How’re you feeling? Anything hurt?”

For a moment, Jim was silent. Then, barely louder than a whisper,

“B-Blinky?”

He stopped. Had Jim just- ?

“Sorry? I- I didn’t quite catch that.” He… He needed to be sure. Before he delved into everything, he needed to be sure that he’d really heard Jim call him by his troll name. He could see Jim trying to gather himself, swallowing nervously as he slowly pushed himself up.

“B-Blinky? What- What’s going on? How are you- ?” Jim’s voice shook with each word, but there was no mistaking what he was saying. Or what he was asking.

James hadn’t been ready for this to happen.

“Well… I was wondering if you would remember at some point, but I’d started to think it wouldn’t happen.” James let out a breath, trying to gather his thoughts together. “I just… I hadn’t expected it to go like this if it did happen.”

Part of him wanted to pull Jim closer, to wrap an arm around him to help Jim calm down again. To physically comfort his obviously distressed son. But he wasn’t sure if that would help right then, or if it would just upset him more. Instead, he gave a comforting smile and slowly rested his hand on Jim’s knee.

“But, yes. You’re right, it’s me. I’m not entirely sure how I’ve become human, but I’ve had time to get used to it.” He leaned back slightly, watching Jim carefully from the corner of his eye. “I… Assume that you remember everything from the Krohnisfere?”

He waited for Jim to nod, slow and hesitant though it was. Okay, okay so now he… He needed to clarify what Jim remembered. Figure out the baselines that he needed to cover.

“How much… What else can you recall? It’s alright if it doesn’t make sense, I just want to know. To help me explain what I can.”

“You- You’re my mentor, as the trollhunter. You’re supposed to be a troll, a conundrum. And you should be in Trollmarket right now. With Arrrgh. I-” Jim paused, his voice slowly steadying out. But he was still curled in on himself, so James knew he wasn’t as put together as he was trying to be. “Today is supposed to be the day I got the amulet. I found it at the bottom of the canal when Toby and I used it as a shortcut to get to school so we wouldn’t be late. I picked the day I got the amulet for the Krohnisfere because I thought… I thought that would be far enough back. To change things.”

Oh, dear… At least that explained why Jack had picked up instead of Norman. His fail-safe plan if Kajigar hadn’t listened to their “advice” about taking extra measures against sun injuries must have gone off.

(For James, it had been advice. A polite recommendation. For Norman, on the other hand, it hadn’t been a suggestion. More of an order.)

He was hoping that, since he had yet to get a call saying that it had failed, Norman’s plan had worked and Kanjigar was still alive. And probably getting quite an earful from the weirn for not taking extra measures to protect himself when he was supposed to be the honored protector of trollkind. Norman always seemed to take a special affront over the way the trollhunters traditionally handled things…

Jim hesitated before he continued.

“But, my head keeps saying that- That you’re supposed to be here. That seeing you in the kitchen in the mornings, making breakfast for us, is totally normal. That sometimes getting driven to school by you is normal. That… That you’re my dad. The same dad that went missing when I was five, but now you’re here and I- I!” Jim dug his fingers into his hair, curling further in on himself. His breathing was picking up in a way that instantly worried James. “It doesn’t make sense! You’re Blinky and you’re my mentor but you’re human and my dad and you work with Uncle Norman who was- who was gone! But he’s here and you’re here and I- I don’t understand it! How are- Why is- What’s happening?”

This time, James didn’t bother holding back the urge. He moved over and wrapped Jim in a hug, tucking the teen’s head under his chin. One hand slowly rubbed soothing circles in his son’s back as he tried to help him calm down again. (Jim had already fainted once today and James really didn’t want a repeat of that.)

“Easy, now. Deep breaths, Jim, deep breaths. You’re starting to panic, just breathe for a few moments. Alright?” James softened his voice, his tone gentle as he spoke. “Please, just try to breathe. I know you can do it.”

He kept the quiet mantra up until, slowly, Jim’s breathing started to even out again and he slowly leaned into his father’s grip.

“S-Sorry I- I just-” There was a shaking hitch to Jim’s words, which didn’t surprise James.

“Don’t apologize, Jim. You have clashing memories, of course you’d be distressed.” He gave Jim a small, comforting squeeze to emphasize his words. “That… That helps me figure out roughly where to start. This is probably going to sound a little… Convoluted? Yes, I suppose convoluted would be the right word. But please just hear me out, alright?”

James wasn’t entirely sure how Jim would take all of this, but he would try to stick to the truth as best he knew it. Even if it meant giving it in sections throughout the day. Or possibly the week. It would probably take a while to air everything out.

“I… Alright, I guess I’ll start with this. The simplest answer, for the clashing memories, would be that… Both are true? I was your mentor, and I am supposed to be a conundrum troll, but right now I’m human and live with you and Barbara in Arcadia.”

“In our… Previous timeline? I believe that would be the correct terminology, approximately… Twenty or so years before I met you, I went missing from Trollmarket. There were some visiting trolls who had decided to travel through Arcadia itself, instead of trying to travel by gyre. They had some fragile items and were worried that the gyre would damage them accidentally. But, in doing so, they had dropped some of their luggage.” He paused, brow furrowing in thought. It was hard to recall the exact details of that night. He wasn’t sure if it was due to human memory recall or how… Unimportant it was compared to what had happened afterward. “I can’t quite remember what the reason was, now. Something startling them that made them leave it behind? Whatever it was, Kanjigar wanted to focus on that instead of just collecting the lost items. Not that he would have done it differently, being the trollhunter.”

“I had volunteered to help gather them instead because a few of them had been books that I’d asked for to add to my library. It would mean one less thing for Kanjigar to worry about, and I would ensure that I’d gotten the books. Arrrgh would have gone with me to fetch them, but someone had asked for his assistance and I’d thought that it would be simple enough for me to handle on my own. I remember going out with Kanjigar, the two of us splitting up once he’d found the trail he was after and confirming that it wasn't near where I would be, and then… Well, I’m rather unsure what occurred after that. But I hadn’t returned to Trollmarket before dawn that night. Or the next night. Or the one following that.”

“No one knew where I was or what happened to me.  I’d just vanished into the night, as far as anyone could tell. Until Kanjigar finally found me wandering the sewers in a daze, ten years after I’d first gone missing. I had no memory of what had happened, or where I’d been, or anything from those ten years. It was all a blank. It was a mystery for everyone, myself included.”

He remembered the bag of supplies and the bent little piece of metal he’d been found with. How they’d haunted him from their shelf at the back of his library for years. Now, he knew what they were. His supply bag from Norman and… And his wedding ring.

(Learning that he’d forgotten something so precious stung.)

“Until… I suppose it would be about seventeen years ago, in this timeline, when I just suddenly- Remembered. And, somehow, I was human instead of a troll. One that had been found, unconscious, in Arcadia and had woken with amnesia. I was staying with Norman as his coworker and housemate in his investigative office. Whilst getting semi-regular checkups from the local hospital, where Barbara works.” He hesitated, feeling the way Jim’s hands had clenched against his shirt. “I-I believe you can follow the leaps of logic from there.”

There was a moment of quiet as James let his son digest what he’d told him. He heard Jim let out a shaking breath.

“But… How are you still here? Why haven’t  you…?” The sentence trailed off, but he didn’t need to hear the rest of it to know how it finished.

“Why haven’t I… Changed back yet? I’m honestly not sure. I’m not even sure what had made me human in the first place,” he said with a thoughtful hum. “I have a few guesses for the exact events that may have changed it. But I assume that the main trigger would be that I regained my memories of the future. And, thusly, I avoided whatever even caused me to change back last time. It could have been from my own meddling, or the extra protections that Norman’s placed, or perhaps the simple act of remembering subverted it. Any of them could be the answer. Or perhaps all of them are. Or even none and something I’m completely unaware of prevented it.”

He leaned back so he could look Jim in the face, his own firm and calm.

“No matter the reason, I’m here. I’m healthy. And I remember. Okay?”

“Okay…” Jim’s voice was quiet, but James could see the tension slowly bleeding out of his frame. Though he couldn’t say if it was from relief or from the exhaustion of his earlier panic attack setting in.

He glanced over at the clock. It was getting rather late in the day and Jim hadn’t eaten that morning. There was nothing wrong with taking a break for a little bit.

“Well. Your mother won’t be up for a while longer, and I’ve already called you out of school for the day, what’s say we use this time to start making lunch? Something larger than we’d normally have time to make. I’m sure Norman and Jack will show up to check on us. So we may as well have something for them as well.” He smiled gently at Jim, remembering how tired panic attacks tended to make humans. “Unless, of course, you’d rather lay down for a bit and get some rest. Your morning’s been unexpectedly trying, after all.”

He watched his son’s brow furrow, carefully thinking over his options. And, likely, everything that James had told him since he came around.

“I… There’s more, isn’t there?” He asked, looking up at his father. “You… You mentioned meddling? What have you been doing?”

“Yes, there is more that I haven’t gotten to yet. But I know there’s such a thing as “too much at once”. So I’d rather you take some time to wrap your head around things before I delve into more.” He raised an eyebrow at the teen in front of him, his tone became lightly chiding as he continued. “Especially on an empty stomach. You’ve already skipped breakfast today and I’d rather avoid you skipping lunch as well.”

Jim flushed, ever so slightly, at the subtle reminder of his fainting spell from earlier. He let his smile come back.

“At the very least, it can wait until after you’ve gotten some toast in your system.”

“Al-alright. But I… I want to ask questions.” James smiled at that. He’d expected nothing less.

“Of course. I’ll answer them to the best of my ability, Jim.”

AN: Okay, quick notes time!

2) Jack is Jack Fain and he was ahem "hired" by Norman as a new assistant for their office. There is gonna be a whole chapter dedicated to the details of that but the simplest is that Jack Fain wasn't his original name and he's not as human as he pretends to be. But his loyalty is to Norman and he actually enjoys his new job and bosses, so there are no odd feelings about how he joined their side.

1) Kanjigar isn't going to die in this fic, thanks to careful planning between James/Blinky and Norman (and a few underhanded tricks that Norman has no plans of telling him about until after they kick in.) He knows James is Blinky and has met the office before, but Kanjigar DOESN'T know that he remembers that he's supposed to be a troll or that he has memories of the future.

They kept him in the dark on purpose to avoid him doing something stupid or unintentionally messing up the plans they're trying to put into motion. (Kanjigar is well-meaning, but he can be a little stupid/reckless at times.)

4) Part of Jim's panic attack comes from leaving the ruins of Arcadia. I just can't believe that he was able to send himself through time and handle it perfectly fine. He's too traumatized/in shock for things to be as neat and clean as the show made it seem.

3) Blinky/James wants to keep Strickler in the dark, for many reasons. But at least one was that he wanted to make sure Janus Order didn't get any hints about what they were up to. Or get suspicious about what their leader was doing without telling Bular or anyone else. Thus far, they've succeeded.

At most, he's figured out that Norman's a powerful weirn that's keeping the Night Things in the area under control.

And that's it for this part. I decided I was gonna split this up into more than one part because so much of it was just- Blinky/James talking. And it felt like it would be too much information at once. It's one thing to recap, but this would be a lot of talking about things that haven't already been covered. So it gets to be more than one part for reading convenience.