InuKag Week 3: Huanted
Echo
@inukag-week
Useless
Despicable
Disgusting
Filthy
Unworthy
Putrid
Stupid
Vile
There was no shortage of words of what to call me. A half-demon to put it simply, without all of the touchy add-ons that demons and humans love to include. Those words are names I’ve known for myself my whole life. They follow me wherever I go and with whomever I meet. For the longest time, those types of words rang true to my ears. No matter where I went, who I helped, or what I did, I was nothing but a half-breed. I was taught that the world didn’t need my kind. That I was an abomination, a curse, an outright disgrace. I was better off dead than existing. But I’m a half-demon, which means I’m also have human. So I’m stubborn as hell and I refuse to lose my life because I’m not wanted.
Besides my mother, there was no one I knew who could ever love me, care for me, the way she had. Even though she tried to hide the cruelty of the world from me, she couldn’t. There was no father for me to learn from, to teach me how to stand up for myself or to even understand the half of me that humans hated. It was just my mother. She was beautiful and sweet, and she cared for me for as long as she could. So when she died, and I was left all alone, I stopped hearing her kind words for me. I was left in the open palm of the world, my mother no longer someone I could go to when I was frightened or angry. She could no longer rub my back or comb my hair to ease the pain of knowing I was unwanted. There was no longer a love to keep me from hating everything about myself. Her words I would never hear again:
Love
Dear
Darling
Son
Those words were taken over by this hate that the world has for me. A hate that I’ve done nothing to deserve. For years, those belittling words have done nothing but add to my own pain and humiliation I had of just being who I was. They followed me as if they were attached to my name. For years I thought those words were true. Those words defined who I was, and I needed to change myself in order for those words to leave me alone. I searched for ways to become a full fledged demon. To rid of myself of my mother’s blood. The last connection I have to her. I was ready to get rid of it, if it meant those words would stop following me.
When I learned of The Sacred Jewel, I was fascinated by its power. The ability to grant any wish. My wish was to become a full fledged demon. Then no one would call me those words, and those who have would ever regret that they did. But then my human blood got in the way. I fell in love with the jewel’s protector. She didn’t call me those words, and she didn’t fear me like others have. It was new for me, and I was curious of this new encounter. Strangely, I felt the need to be around her. The warm feeling that I felt in my mother’s presence had suddenly flooded back in me, and it was such a nice feeling. It wasn’t the same, but nice nonetheless.
When she had told me about the jewel and about its power, she suggested that I wish to become human. Once the jewel’s power has been used, she would no longer be its keeper and turn into that of a regular woman as she called it. And with that use of the jewel’s power, I would become a human; we could be together, like that of regular humans. It wasn’t what I originally desired, but those words would still cease to follow me, and I would have found love. I would have found acceptance and respect, as a human. I could be loved as a human.
Only as a human.
Then the day came where I was betrayed by that woman. I was so confused and angry. I trusted her and I was a fool for doing so. I didn’t know then what I know now. How we were used and tricked by a power hungry coward. That day she died. She died thinking I had struck her, I betrayed her, that my feelings towards her wasn’t genuine. They were real. At the time, I thought the love I felt for her was true. Fifty years later, after she had struck me to a tree, her reincarnation comes and releases me from her dying spell against the tree. I remember how angry and confused I felt towards her. I thought that this was the woman who killed me. Who betrayed me. How little I knew then.
After I was awoken and forced to wear subjugation beads around my neck so not to kill her. I was stuck with that girl, Kagome, mostly because she had The Sacred Jewel and I wanted to become a full demon. But this damn woman, she’s a klutz and had the jewel stolen from her and she shattered it trying to get it back. I was stuck with her, forced to be by her side to collect the scattered pieces of the jewel in order to reform it to its originality. Since she could sense and see the jewel’s location, and because I wanted the jewel for my own, we had to work together. I couldn’t let a demon have a single piece of the jewel or my wish couldn’t be granted.
Over time, this girl who resembled a love from my past; this girl who was another weak human who could barely shoot an arrow and got on my nerves grew within my heart. I felt the need not only to be around her, but protect her. As we traveled her friendly and trustworthy nature made our duo of a group larger. More people traveled with us in search of the jewel shards. We learned of the jewel’s history, the truth of my betrayal, and the painful stories of the humans who traveled alongside us. Together, we faced threats left and right; from the down right evil to jerks who can’t seem to leave Kagome alone.
My travels with my friends wasn’t easy. We had some good times where luck was on our side or when we take a day or so easy. Humans always need a break, but even as I would argue against them, I was inwardly relieved to get one as well. Our adventure had a lot of down turns, and some were permanent. Our travels tested us. Our fear, our love, our hate, and our greed. At some point, we had all faced with death, but never has it taken us. I wouldn’t allow it. I couldn’t bare my friends to be taken away like that. I’ve learn to care for them and care for Kagome even more. Ever since I started traveling with her, I don’t hear those words so often, and when I do, she’s right there, angry, if not angrier than I, at what I’ve been called. She was still a klutz, but as we progressed in, she only got better at everything. She was braver and more defiant in what she thought was wrong or injust. She loved and cared for humans and demons, seeing no difference when someone is hurt. She got stronger, her power flows through her arrows like it’s something she’s always done. By her side, I felt that nothing could ever stop us, come between us. But the day the Sacred Jewel would cease to exist was the day that I was proven wrong.
She was taken from me. Time took her back to where she belonged. Where I couldn’t get to her. She was safe there, in her own time. In the world she was born in along with the people who loved her and missed her just as much as I did. I didn’t want to believe it, but it was true. The jewel was gone so there was no real reason for Kagome to be here. I didn’t think she’d be forced to leave. I didn’t really know what Kagome was going to do after the Jewel was completed or I for that matter. I knew whatever was going to happen, that I’d want to be with her, but I didn’t even get the chance. I was taken back down the well that connected our times and it closed, sealing us apart.
I didn’t know what was happening. After days of not being able to go down the well, I grew angry and I tried to keep it to myself. I couldn’t let my friends know the turmoil after having such hardships behind us. In my own time, I started hearing those words again. They rattled in my brain, echoing reminders of what I thought I wasn’t. What Kagome made me believe I wasn’t. Weeks turned into months and months into years and there was still no sign of her. The well continued to only resemble the empty hole within me. My friends continued on with their lives, growing a family. I was happy for them and in all honesty it was a nice distraction from the reality I faced every three days when I traveled to the well in hopes of Kagome’s return.
I don’t know what made that day so special. I don’t know what was so incredibly different but I’ll be forever thankful for whatever it was. The day Kagome’s scent had slightly tickled my nose the echos I unconsciously heard hushed. My legs have never taken my so fast to the well. That day when Kagome’s hand gripped mine had changed me. The words that plagued my thoughts were immediately gone as I looked into her eyes. Small tears pooled at the corners of them and I wanted nothing more than to wipe them away. She was back. She was here with me. My fears gone in an instant because of her.
Kagome, how no words would ever haunt me again.
