Howzer naturally frequented it much more often, and they had settled into a bit of a routine – her at the clinic and him at the hangar. They’d been able to procure an extra cot for their space, but there were still no larger apartments available, so they’d crammed it into Aurelia’s, leaving virtually no room to walk around it. Climbing across the bed from dresser to refresher sometimes brought a smile, other times a grimace. They hoped to find something bigger, but in the meantime, they made the common area their living room in the few hours they had outside of work and sleep.

The hangar was quite full that day as Aurelia watched from her corner. Howzer was bent over a holotable with Rex and Gregor, brow furrowed as he pointed here and there. Their nods and murmurs were intensely focused on whatever mission was at hand, and she wondered if she should go back to the clinic just to feel useful. As though he could sense her thoughts, Howzer caught her gaze, face softening immediately as he flashed a tiny kiss face in her direction. He flinched and grinned as Rex smacked his arm with a mockingly stern expression, and Howzer immediately arranged his features into diligent solemnity.

They dove back into their strategizing, but within minutes, a couple others appeared at their table. She had seen the clone before – Fireball, she was pretty sure his name was – but her mouth fell open slightly as she noticed that he was accompanied by a woman. Aurelia couldn’t even begin to process it before the new arrival sidled up behind Gregor and wrapped her arms around his waist. She squeezed him tightly, earning an exaggerated roll of the eyes from Rex, then nestled beside him at the table to scan the holographic contents. 

Aurelia was mystified. The woman had an undeniable air of confidence about her, standing tall as she joined in the conversation. Her muscular arm flexed as she ran her hand over her short hair, mussing it up with an agitated scratch before pointing at something and shaking her head. The men seemed to respect and include her as much as any of their brothers, and a slight twist of jealousy joined the befuddled awe in Aurelia’s mind. 

Who was she? Why hadn’t she seen her before? What was her deal with Gregor? How was she so strong and confident? Mind racing with questions, Aurelia didn’t register that they all were looking at her for a few seconds, and when she did notice, she clapped her mouth shut and shifted on her feet. Howzer was gesturing in her direction, and when the woman gave her a curt nod and the hint of a smile, Aurelia felt as though she could melt on the spot. But she also didn’t want to seem like a helpless little corner-dweller, so she took a deep breath, straightened her posture, and strode forward to join them. 

Trepidation rising beneath the five pairs of eyes upon her, she panicked halfway there and instead altered her path toward the makeshift kitchen. Once she’d slipped inside with as much nonchalance as she could convey, she rested against the counter, mentally kicking herself as she hid under the guise of making some caf. A sudden movement in the doorway caught her eye, and she turned quickly to see Gregor, an easy smile on his face.

“Excellent idea,” he nodded, putting her at ease as he began to craft two cups of his own. 

“Might keep me up tonight but right now it feels worth it,” she offered, consciously relaxing her shoulders as she realized they’d climbed nearly up to her ears. 

“Couldn’t agree more!”

They stood in mutual silence as they waited for the pot to finish brewing, cups at the ready with their various accouterments. Finally, Aurelia couldn’t hold back her curiosity any longer. 

“Okay… Who is that?” she asked, the words bursting out of her with no chill whatsoever. 

“I know, right?” he said with a chuckle, arching an eyebrow at her knowingly. “Absolutely magnificent!”

“I mean, yeah, but–” 

“Name’s Cerra. She’s been a killer part of our operation for a while now.”

“Nice,” Aurelia murmured, the duality of her feelings increasing as she compared herself to the formidable female at the table outside.

“Like you!” Gregor added, bumping his shoulder into hers gently. “Half of us wouldn’t be where we are without your fixin!”

She smiled, shrugging it off. “I’m glad to help… where I can.”

“You don’t sound too glad,” he observed.

“No, I am,” she replied automatically, sighing as she finally met his eyes. “Alright,” she confessed, “I just… I feel like I’m not doing enough. There are so many important missions going on, and I can’t contribute anything. I mean, anyone can patch up some wounds… And I can’t even defend myself. Not much of a soldier.”

“Well, you’re not a soldier.”

“I know–

“And,” he continued pointedly, “You are serving a very important purpose here. I mean, we can do our best to patch ourselves up, and Cerra helps… somewhat… in very vague terms… but we wouldn’t be able to accomplish any of those missions if we weren’t in good shape thanks to you.”

She waited, trying to allow his words to soak in. He picked up the finished pot of caf and began to swirl it into his two cups, comfortable in the silence for a moment before speaking again. She realized he was making an extra, likely for this Cerra woman.

“As far as defending yourself, I’m sure we would all be willing to teach you a thing or two, but uh… Hasn’t Howzer been working on your grappling skills?” 

His roguish grin was met with an authentic snort on her part, and she snatched the pot from him to fill her own cup. On second thought, she reached for a second cup, filling and preparing it the same way. She should have thought of that from the start, she chastised, but let it go as her best attempt at a clever response came to mind.

“Not the kind of grappling I’d want to use on an enemy,” she deadpanned, his giggle bringing a wider smile to her face. “Although definitely not the kind they’d expect, either.”

“Nice,” he winked, finishing his caf creations and jerking his head toward the door. “Come with me?”

“Eh, I… uh…”

“You’ve got to deliver that to Howzer anyway, no?” he moved his eyes from her face to the cup and back. 

“Yeah,” she sighed, giving him one last fond smirk before following him out. 

“That’s what I’m talkin’ about,” Cerra purred as Gregor slipped the cup into her hands. She took a long sip, closing her eyes and basking in its perfection for a second before smiling at Aurelia with significantly more warmth than the first time. “Cerra,” she offered, along with a hand.

“Aurelia,” came the response, and she tried not to let her entire arm shake with the force of Cerra’s greeting. Flexing her fingers as she let go, she picked up Howzer’s caf and handed it to him, everything else fading in the single moment they shared with an intimate gaze. 

“Kriff, you’ve got it bad for each other,” Cerra poked, winking at Gregor as he giggled beside her.

“Clones, you know,” Aurelia answered, disproportionately proud of herself as Cerra gave an approving “heh” in response. 

“So… I was thinking it would be prudent to have everyone in our group be confident in their basic defense skills,” Gregor said suddenly, nodding at his own words. “Aurelia here is a little rusty in her training, and I wondered if you might show her a thing or two when you’ve got time here.” Cerra looked Aurelia up and down, instantly making her feel as though she were completely naked, then nodded along with him. 

“Sounds great,” she agreed, tilting her head at Aurelia. “If you’re interested, that is. Seems you just got volun-told.” A wink to Gregor.

“No, that’d be… helpful, I think…” Aurelia stammered, torn between Cerra’s smooth gaze and the jerky movement of Howzer’s head raising to look at her from behind the woman’s shoulder. He opened his mouth to say something, then thought better of it, instead sinking into the stern expression that he wore more often than not lately. 

“I’ll comm you,” Cerra affirmed, touching the outside of her arm in a firm yet kind gesture. “As for now, we’ve got a mess here. Maybe you can see something we don’t.”

They dove back into their strategizing, Cerra having made room at the table for Aurelia to watch and listen as though it were the most natural thing in the world. The men followed her lead, debating and brainstorming with focused intensity. Howzer moved beside her, his gaze lingering on Cerra for a moment before he stood a little straighter. Aurelia was wildly overwhelmed by the sheer volume of information being thrown about – stuff that they all seemed to have worked with for a while now yet was all completely new to her. Fighting to keep up, she gathered the basics of the mission and listened curiously as they continued to bicker over conflicting details. 

A few things were falling into place in her mind when she was rudely interrupted by the ping of her comm. Stepping away to check it, she sighed at the message awaiting her – she was needed at the clinic. Normally she loved to be useful, but this wasn’t what she’d call an authentic need. The nurse that had stepped into a managerial role upon Lennox’s departure had a tendency to make anything a crisis, which was an uncharacteristic trait for a medical professional. Aurelia had been the natural successor to the position, but with all that was going on, she didn’t want the added responsibilities. However, she found herself second-guessing the decision now that the staff struggled to adjust to the new personality dynamics. 

Regardless, duty called, so she excused herself from the table and headed for the door. Howzer caught up to her in a few steps, grasping her arm and twirling her back toward him. She opened her mouth in inquisitive protest, but he was cupping her face before she could get a word out. His kiss was deep and passionate, and when he finally pulled back, leaving his hands on her cheeks, he gazed into her eyes with intensity.

“Well that was nice,” she murmured, taking one of his hands in her own and kissing it softly.

“Never gonna take it for granted,” he said quietly, pressing his forehead to hers before releasing her. 

She smiled the entire way to the clinic. 

* * * 

When Aurelia got “home” that night after an unexpected shift that took much longer than anticipated, she headed straight for the refresher, daintily picking her way over the corner of the cot where Howzer was sprawled in blissful slumber. After washing the day off, she pulled on her comfiest pajamas and crawled onto her own cot beside him. There was a small groove between the two where they’d pushed them together as best they could, but they didn’t mind. It was worth the closeness. 

Her arrival roused him a bit, and he rolled over to wrap an arm around her, smiling groggily and murmuring a hello. She slipped her leg between his thighs, nestling into his radiant warmth, and everything felt right in the world. 

“You should quit,” he joked, entwining his fingers with hers where their hands rested against her chest. 

“You should quit,” she returned evenly. “Then we can just do this all day every day.”

“Don’t need food anyway,” he mumbled. 

“Oh, nevermind,” she said somberly. “Food’s important.”

He hummed in agreement. “Speaking of food,” he continued. “Apparently Garr Tevv needs to lose.”

“What?”

“Garr Tevv. On the Galactic Bake-Off. Karking loser.”

She laughed, a deep warmth in her chest at the nonsensical intimacy they shared. “Noted,” she said. “Kriff Garr Tevv.”

“Thassthe spirit.” He was slipping back toward sleep, and she thought it was quite the good idea. Another day of more questions than answers was waiting, but right now, all was well. 

“I love you,” she whispered, feeling his gentle squeeze before she drifted off. 

* * * 

“We need to check it out ourselves,” Rex said firmly, his sentiment echoed by grunts around the room. He was standing straight in the center of the makeshift living room, addressing the others who were piled on the couch and the crates nearby. 

“No way to gather more intel first?” Gregor asked. 

“We don’t have a ton of sources,” Rex reminded him. 

“We can have a look,” Cerra said confidently, Fireball nodding beside her.

“We can indeed,” Rex answered. “You still need to fix the stabilizers on that ship.” Cerra’s face fell at his response, but she kept her mouth shut. For a second at least. 

“How do we not have any other decent mechanics? Where are Trace and Rafa?”

Gregor sighed. “We’ve been over this,” he said with a fond eyebrow in her direction. 

“Things change,” she retorted, words sharp but eyes soft. 

“Alright, it doesn’t matter,” Rex interjected. “We’ll take a small team and the rest of you can continue your duties here.” 

“Fine, but I’ve got next.”

“You’ve got whatever I tell you is next,” Rex teased, and they narrowed their eyes at each other harmlessly. 

Howzer didn’t realize the expression on his face until Gregor elbowed him in the side. Meeting dismissed, they stood and stretched, exchanging a few last words until disbanding for their assignments. Cerra appeared in his field of vision, catching his attention with a quick upward jerk of her chin. 

“Want to give your girl my comm so we can have practice a bit while I’m stuck here? She said she’d show me some actual medical stuff, and I’m pretty sure that’d be wildly useful instead of the hack jobs we’ve been doing around.”

“Alright,” he said slowly, unable to hide the trepidation in his voice. 

“What?” Her words were firm, but not challenging. 

“Just… Be careful.”

“The point is to help her, not hurt her,” Cerra pointed out. “Wouldn’t you feel better with her being able to defend herself a little more?”

“She shouldn’t have to…” he muttered, realizing the naivete of his words as soon as he spoke them aloud. 

“None of us should have to,” she rolled her eyes. “But I don’t have to remind you of the reality we’re all facing.” 

“I know.” His eyebrows sank into the grooves that seemed to grow deeper by the day. “Thanks for watching out for her.”

“I know you’re doing the same,” Cerra reassured, offering the faintest shadow of a smile as she saw his shoulders lower a tiny bit. 

“Mm. See you when we get back.”

* * * 

Aurelia’s entrance into the hangar could not have been less confident, as she walked with one arm holding the other at her side and scanned the area for any sign of anyone. She heard a scuffle around the corner, eyes widening as the sight unfolded before her. 

Cerra was drenched in sweat, squaring up to a clone that Aurelia couldn’t recognize from the back. Had the clinic been doing intake exams for new arrivals without her? She made a mental note to investigate. Not that she was necessarily needed for each one, but she felt a sense of protectiveness over the whole group and enjoyed getting to know each clone individually. 

“Alriiight!” Cerra said loudly, grinning at Aurelia over her opponent’s shoulder. “Now the big guns are here!”

Aurelia laughed aloud, shaking her head in utter disbelief. The clone turned to look, realizing his mistake a split second too late. Cerra had him on the ground immediately, legs wrapped around his middle with a triumphant grunt as he squirmed and squawked in protest. 

“Cheap shot!” he yelled, slamming his hand on the ground twice and clambering to his feet as soon as she released him. He was breathing heavily, glowering at her as she wiped her mouth with the back of her hand, then helped her up and clapped her on the back nonetheless. 

“All’s fair in love and war,” she said, giving him a familiar bump on the shoulder before fetching her water bottle from the nearby crate. 

“Oh? So is this love or war?” the clone teased, oblivious to the exaggerated huff of disapproval from Fireball where he watched from the sidelines. The question sounded oddly familiar, and Aurelia squinted as she tried to place it. Or was it the way he said it? She was still unabashedly watching him as he turned to see the “big guns”, his face breaking into a large smile as he laid eyes on her. 

“I knew it!” he laughed, and she was flooded with indignation, assuming he was referring to her diminutive stature. “You always did have it in you, eh?”

Now she was completely baffled. He was so maddeningly familiar, but his standard military cut and lack of any identifying tattoos wasn’t giving her anything to go off of. 

“Ohh,” he lamented, clutching a hand to his heart. “Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten me? All those nights at 79s didn’t mean anything to you?”

Cerra let out a knowing chuckle and wagged her eyebrows at Aurelia, whose mouth dropped at the sudden realization. 

“Pivot?!” she said, eyes lighting up as she walked quickly toward him. “You’re alive!” 

“Don’t sound so stupefied,” he grumbled, pulling her into a huge, sweaty hug that made her grimace at the sudden stickiness and smell. “You only saw me blowing off steam, not blowing up clankers. I was pretty good at it.”

“No, I believe it!” Aurelia said, extricating herself from his embrace before taking a jab. “It’s just that you were so old, even back then…”

“Ha!!” he bellowed, pushing her fondly as she caught her balance with a mischievous grin on her face. “You know it. Kriff, I’ve missed you.”

“I mean, I wasn’t exactly a big part of your life…” she protested, uneasy beneath the compliment.

“You’d be surprised,” the clone said, waxing poetic all of a sudden. “War is all the same. Battle after battle, loss after loss. The sparse time in between where we actually got to feel human… And well, that was…”

“Nice,” Fireball interjected, a somber expression on his face as he’d approached from the side.

“Nice,” Pivot echoed, grinning and turning to clap his brother on the back. “Couldn’t have said it better myself. And you,” he continued, “were the perfect balance of kind and snarky. Kept it lively but you seemed to really like us. Respect us, even. Meant a lot.”

“Well geez.” Aurelia’s eyes were glossy at his words and the sheer volume of memories they evoked. It felt like a lifetime ago, so much more lighthearted and simple despite the anxiety and aimlessness she’d felt without a clear purpose in life. She lost herself in it all for a second, eyes drifting across the floor, then she met his gaze again, warm and clear. “I did like you. And respect you. All of you.” 

“Did?” Pivot prodded, arching his eyebrow so animatedly that Cerra chuckled from her lean on the crates nearby, noting how he looked an awful lot like Gregor when he did that.

“Do,” Aurelia corrected, peering at him from under mockingly stern brows. 

“Mmhmm.”

“As cute as this all is, if we want to get anything done before the fearless warriors return, we need to get at it,” Cerra reminded, flipping the cap back onto her water bottle and swinging her arms out and back across her chest to keep her muscles warm. “You ready to roll, Reli?”

“Smoooooth,” Pivot grinned, nodding as he followed Fireball off to the side. 

“First of all,” Aurelia replied, clenching and releasing her fists as though that were a sufficient warm-up, “Who told you to call me that… And second of all… Nice alliteration.” 

Cerra snorted, moving out to the center of the training area. “First of all, it was our very own Captain Howdy who’s dropped the nickname once or twice. And second of all… nerd.”

“Captain Howdy?” A barely-restrained snicker accompanied the question.

“Howzer… Howz… Howzy… Howdy… It was a journey.”

“Over the last four days?”

“Fast journey.”

“Fair enough.”

***

To set the mood... Rocky Balboa - Theme Song (HD) (youtube.com)

***

In less than an hour, Aurelia was wiped out. Cerra had only gone over the basics of situational awareness, pivot points, and a few simple strikes, but practicing them repeatedly against the rock-solid defense of her trainer had left her wildly disappointed in herself. She was trying to calm her panting, forcing her breaths in and out through her nose, and paced back and forth in the corner as Cerra wiped herself with a towel while exchanging quips with Fireball. 

The same thoughts rankled. This woman was so strong, so competent, so well-trained and clearly able to handle herself in a multitude of situations. She didn’t need anyone to protect her. She wasn’t a drain on someone else’s capacity…

“Hey, you did great today,” her words broke through Aurelia’s rumination, and she looked up to see Cerra extending a hand. She mimicked the motion and was surprised when she grabbed her forearm instead, giving it a gentle squeeze before releasing it. 

“Thanks,” Aurelia mumbled, fidgeting with her fingers as she headed for her bag.

“You’re beating yourself up, aren’t you?”

Damn, she was as observant as she was skilled. Aurelia sighed, staring at the crate for a moment before looking back at her. 

“I know, it’s just the first time. It’s silly to expect–”

“Anything,” Cerra finished, dipping her head to get her point across. “Do you know how long I got my ass kicked on a daily basis before I could start holding my own at all?”

“Like twelve days?” 

“Heh. I wish,” came the mirthful response. “It was a long time. And I’ve had to keep practicing. You think I like getting trashed by this shiny?” She wrapped her arm around Fireball’s neck, attempting to rub her fist into his hair but he pulled away and jabbed her in the side, causing her to drop her arm with a fond chuckle. 

“Shiny…” he grumbled, grinning at her fondly. 

“Anyway,” she continued, regarding Aurelia earnestly. “I see it on your face and it’s not gonna fly. Be proud of yourself. All that you’ve done. Whether or not it looks like what you think it “should”. Besides… about 90% of this is ‘fake it til you make it.’” 

“Fair enough.”

“Plus, you’ve got to make it up to me.”

“Oh?” This caught Aurelia by surprise, and she shifted her bag on her shoulder as she looked curiously to the taller woman.

“What, you think it’s free? You said you’d show me some medical stuff so I don’t have to attempt what probably qualifies as surgery from mimicking janky holos.”

“Ahh, ha. Yes. Name the time and place.”

.

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There had been no explanation as to how, but Cerra announced one day that she’d found them a different place to live. It was still nearby, still small and simple, but it felt like absolute luxury as it had two full rooms and a refresher. Aurelia couldn’t believe her eyes when they stepped inside, and she had to resist the urge to give Cerra a huge hug, noting that the woman’s physical fondness seemed to be primarily directed to the handful of clones she’d adopted as her own. 

“It even has furniture?” Aurelia marveled. “How?”

“Well, we carried it inside, and–”

“You know what I mean,” she laughed. 

“I’ve got connections,” Cerra replied, her even stare accentuated only by the slight glimmer in her eyes. “It definitely did not involve any sort of espionage, deception, or pilfering.”

“I feel like I should have some kind of moral objection to that, but somehow I feel no such thing,” Aurelia snickered, profusely thanking her again. 

Howzer had been silent the whole time, and when he finally muttered his agreement, his begrudging gratitude was baffling to Aurelia. When Cerra had left them to enjoy the space on their own, she turned to him, noting the few feet of distance between them. 

“You alright?” she invited.

“Yeah,” he nodded flatly. “This is nice.” 

“You’ve seemed so heavy lately,” she said, taking a step closer and reaching out to touch his arm. There wasn’t much of a response.

“I just… I don’t know what is going on right now. We have a huge, endless mission right now. It seems impossible. Lives are at stake. Clones are dying, enslaved, brainwashed… I do what is needed of me and then come home to this… domestic life? It doesn’t make sense.”

Aurelia was silent for a moment, trying to look past the way his words made her feel like more of a burden than a partner, and considered his point of view as best she could. When she spoke, her voice was soft. “Can both be true?”

“Hm?”

“Can you still do all that you’re able, to help your brothers and the cause at hand, and still have some space of your own to sleep in a comfy bed next to someone you love?” Her tone had a touch of insecurity to it, and he fixed his eyes on her more intentionally, worry giving way to affection. 

“I guess,” he consented, and she found that it wasn’t quite the reassurance she’d been hoping for. 

“Am I holding you back?” she finally asked, watching a litany of emotions dance across his face. 

“No,” he answered quickly, stepping closer now and taking her hands in his. “I just feel torn between two worlds. I know I’ve been saying it for a while now. I just haven’t been able to shake it.” 

“Alright. If I were more of a teammate, would that feel better?”

“No,” he repeated, more firmly this time as he held her hands more tightly. “You are a teammate. Every squad needs a medic.” A faint gleam of reminiscence. 

“True, but it’s usually a field medic, no?”

He sighed, tilting his head at her. “Not necessarily. It’s fine. It’s all fine. Just need to get used to it.”

She slipped her arms around his waist and rested her head against his chest. They were united in that.

* * * 

Spirits were high as hoots echoed throughout the hangar. Time had passed, and the sparring had become more rambunctious as it provided as much “fun” as could be had between missions… and before the next season of The Great Galactic Bake-Off. 

Aurelia pushed some stray hairs from her face, cursing her decision to cut some curtain bangs in her curly, dark hair. It was braided and tied at her neck, which was as sweaty as her face as she squared off toward Cerra. The taller woman watched her closely, hands at the ready, and she squinted her eyes a bit as she noticed how much Aurelia had grown in both proficiency and confidence. It made her proud. But that was nothing to consider at present. 

“Come on,” she encouraged, a not-so-subtle taunt. “Let’s see it. You’re holding back on me.”

“Maybe because you can’t take it,” Aurelia panted, a hilarious attempt at a challenge. A cacophony of delight echoed from the clones on the sidelines. Fireball cheered for Cerra. Pivot cheered for Aurelia. Nemec watched with scrutiny. Intensity was rising as the women circled one another, fueled by the onlookers who were starting to place bets, and neither of them noticed Howzer joining the crowd.

Finally, the tension broke as Aurelia leapt toward her opponent with a messy swing that was easily dodged. Cerra countered it with an elbow to the back that sent the breath whooshing from Aurelia’s lungs. She whirled back to face her, eyebrows dropping in indignation, and she flung herself at her again. They exchanged blows, dipping and circling with speed and agility as the shouts from the sidelines grew louder. 

A sweep of the legs from Aurelia sent Cerra toppling to the ground, earning a loud “oooooh!” that quickly morphed into “OOOOOH!” as she quickly brought Aurelia down with her, and the grappling began. It had been clear thus far that the taller woman was considerably more adept in every way, and had been strategic in her forcefulness, but Aurelia’s thinly-veiled frustration that was growing into a rage-fueled animosity beckoned her to go a little harder. 

Limbs flew, noises grew, and sparks of anger and determination flashed between the two as they continued. With a strong kick, Cerra catapulted Aurelia off and leapt to her feet, watching her opponent’s braid break free as she landed hard on her backside with a small yelp of pain. Howzer’s grip tightened on the makeshift fence they’d made with scrapped wires tied to various objects, and his furrowed brow deepened into a full glower. Aurelia scrambled up, even angrier now, and Cerra took a step back, holding up her hands in a temporary pause to regroup. 

“Hey, take a minute… You’re letting your emotions get–”

She didn’t finish her sentence as Aurelia charged her again, flinging her arms around the taller woman’s waist with all the momentum she could muster. They toppled to the ground again, Aurelia’s swipes growing messier as she flailed against Cerra’s quick blocks. Aurelia was nearly completely pinned when she gave one last huge heave, jerking her head up against her opponent, whose arm had been moving toward her shoulder. 

Another chorus of “ohhhh” rose from the sidelines and nearly drowned out Aurelia’s frustrated yell as she was flung back onto the floor, blood spilling from her nose where it had unfortunately crashed into Cerra’s elbow. She smacked her hand on the ground twice and the other woman immediately moved to her knees beside her. 

“Kriff, that’s a good one,” Cerra observed, catching the towel Fireball tossed to her and offering it to Aurelia, who had rolled to the side to sit up, pinching her nose and panting from exhaustion. She took the towel, covering the bottom half of her face with it and resting her head on one arm splayed across her knee. “Here, lemme get a little bit of that…” Cerra murmured, using a corner of the towel to wipe the blood off her arm. 

“Are you kidding me?” Howzer barked, slipping through the “ropes” to approach, sinking onto a knee on Aurelia’s other side. He touched her shoulder softly, exchanging a nearly-silent “you good” and “yeah” before looking up at Cerra. His eyes were darker than she’d ever seen on a clone, mouth set in a firm line as he gritted his teeth before speaking. “I told you to go easy on her.”

“You–” Aurelia huffed indignantly from behind her towel, but Cerra was already speaking.

“What would be the point, then? She wants to learn. That’s how you learn.”

“You were supposed to teach her, not beat her ass just for your own overinflated ego!” he said, voice growing sharper. 

Cerra sat back on her heels, growing still as she regarded him with an unreadable expression. “You think this is about me?” she asked, intimidatingly quiet now. 

“I think you’re tired of the fact that you’re constantly getting beat by clones so you needed a little outlet for your hurt pride,” he answered, matching her energy with a threatening presence of his own. 

“Sounds like you need a little outlet of your own for all those big feelings,” Cerra said, rising to her feet but keeping her eyes on him as she sauntered to take a swig of water from her bottle on the bench.

“Sounds like you need a lesson,” Howzer growled, standing to face her over Aurelia, who was quickly beginning to protest as she scrambled to get up. “Go sit down,” he said to her now, and his tone gave her enough reason to do so, tired and still reeling as she was. She would deal with him like the feminist she was… later. His eyes darted back to Cerra, who was standing in an easy slouch as she flipped the cap back onto her bottle and set it down.

“A lesson?” she echoed as she sauntered back toward him. “What is this, grade school? Or whatever they called it on Kamino?”

But Howzer didn’t answer, rising to his full height and squaring up to her in a wordless challenge as she took the last few steps into his space. They stared at one another, assessing the situation, then sprang into action. It began just like many of her sparring matches with the clones, and she noted how they seemed to have similar approaches. However, her own skills had been honed against ARC troopers, captains, and commandos, and it was beginning to show.

Blows. Blocks. Kicks. Dodges. The clones on the sides were watching quietly now, genuinely interested. The months of Cerra’s training seemed to contrast more and more against the months of Howzer’s imprisonment and torture. While he was still adept with a blaster and his mind for strategy was sharp as ever, his basic physicality seemed to have been diminished a bit. Aurelia watched from the side, biting her lip with concern and indescribable guilt. She wanted to put an end to it, but the energy between the two of them was palpable, and she knew it would only worsen things to get in the middle of it. 

It was not a pretty sight. They were formidable opponents, but as they went from feet to floor and back again, each struggling to gain the upper hand, the toll of Howzer’s trauma began to show. Both covered in sweat and breathing heavily, their strikes were less sharp, their footwork and agility diminished. Cerra was doubly exhausted, stepping back taking a moment to walk in a circle, fists on her hips as they both paused. Howzer bent over, hands on his knees, and let out a loud huff before standing up again. 

“Forget this,” he muttered, staring at her with distaste. 

“That’s not how you end a match,” she returned evenly. 

Feeling an exponentially disproportionate frustration that had very little to do with the actual sparring at hand, Howzer turned to rush her, taking a cheap shot. Cerra ducked, barely in time, and dropped an elbow into his stomach to send him reeling back. She’d knocked the wind out of him, and he fought to minimize his gasp for air, arm clutching his midsection as he doubled over. His sideways glance at Aurelia was met with a dropped jaw and large eyes full of concern on her face, as well as something else… Sadness?

The walk home was quiet and tense.

* * * 

The ship jerked out of hyperspace, but it wasn’t enough to snap Howzer out of his ruminating as he slouched in his seat, adjusting his armor plates and watching the familiar form of Coruscant growing larger in front of them. He felt a sudden strong hatred for the planet, with its nearly total lack of greenery or open space and the oppressive political injustice that spewed from its inhabitants. His desire to blow the whole thing up was softened by other, older thoughts that surfaced as the ship glided toward the surface. 

79s. His terrible flirtation. Aurelia’s wit. The park. The opera house. Aurelia’s depth and delight. Kissing her. Shame and regret. Aurelia’s disappointment. Reunion on Ryloth. Adventure, adoration, and intimacy. Aurelia’s softness. Removing his armor, literally and figuratively. Becoming one, literally and figuratively. And then… 

The pleasant memories vanished like morning fog, replaced by the pain of the sharp turns in their lives and the more recent hostility of their encounter after sparring. It hadn’t gone well that night. He’d been deeply insulted by what he’d called “defeat at the hands of a nat-born”. He’d been indignant at the harm that could have befallen Aurelia. He’d been defensive and angry as he tried to justify his protectiveness, confessing that he just couldn’t lose her again. 

“Who lost who?” she’d replied softly, and his heart had crashed to the ground.

Attempts to clarify, console, or connect had been instantly and definitively rejected. The innumerable feelings and regrets swirling in the tornado between them had created an insurmountable divide, and he’d left to sleep on the couch in the common area of the medical clinic dorm. 

He was called out on a mission early the next morning. 

That was three days ago. 

Radio silence.

Now, as the ship drifted toward the hangar, the outrage had slowly burned down into simmering coals of regret, and he yearned to reconnect with her. He’d had time to reflect on the situation from both perspectives, and he felt as though he had finally reached a place where he could let go of what was or what should be and instead embrace the present, whatever that looked like, and make the best of it. 

The gangplank lowered with a hiss, and he stepped off with the others, shouldering his bag of gear and peering around the hangar through his helmet. It looked entirely deserted. Trying to ignore a pang of disappointment, he followed his brothers to the gear lockers and neatly tucked away his things before heading to the unofficial living room. Fireball was the only one there, dozing on the couch with his DC-17 across his lap. Nemec’s sharp slap on the back of the head startled him back into consciousness with a snort and a sit-up. 

“Nice job guarding the hangar,” Nemec said dryly, and Fireball scrambled to his feet. 

“I– uh, sorry… sir?” Fireball stammered, as groggy as he was ashamed. “I was–”

“This is why you’ll be single forever,” Nemec interrupted, ignoring the surprised and delighted guffaws from the other clones nearby as he shuffled toward the exit with an open-mouthed Fireball staring after him.

Pivot’s laughter slowed to a chuckle as he clapped the younger clone on the back and offered some consolation: “Don’t worry, brother. There’s a he/she/they/it out there somewhere for you if you want that kind of companionship.”

“It?” Fireball managed. 

“Hey, love grows in unexpected places.”

“You are all ridiculous,” Fireball grumbled, shifting his blaster in his hands and resuming his patrol near the hangar entrance.

* * * 

Howzer’s confusion was evident as he scanned the two rooms of their apartment, which were completely deserted and unsettlingly quiet. No sign of her. 

The clinic nurse shrugged dismissively; Aurelia wasn’t scheduled nor had she come in that day.

The common area of the clinic dorm was empty as well.

An uneasy feeling was growing heavier in the pit of his stomach. Where was she?

He took a quick shower, consoling himself with the fact that she was a grown woman, was [fairly] capable of taking care of herself, and had been on Coruscant longer than he, so perhaps she was… running errands… or something. Pulling on his non-combat uniform, he ran a hand through his hair, noting that it was starting to get as scruffy as it had been when he was a shiny, and left the apartment again. 

He wandered a few nearby areas, places he’d heard that they’d procured food or goods from, but didn’t catch sight of her anywhere. Fighting to quell the alarm in his gut, he returned to the hangar to comm Rex, instead feeling a slight relief as he saw the captain sitting near a holotable with Echo. 

“Sir,” Howzer said in a simple greeting as he approached. Rex was no Jedi, but they’d begun to throw the term around as he’d risen to be the prominent leader of their operations, even though he was as collaborative as he was humble.

“Captain,” Rex replied amiably. “How did the scouting mission go?”

Howzer filled him in on the details – landscape, local population, distance of potential sites, accessibility and proximity to hostile systems – and found himself wondering how he’d been stuck with this duty. His rank felt less meaningful these days, in light of new structure and a completely different galaxy. After going through the information as quickly as he could, he finally got to ask a question of his own. 

“Do you know where Aurelia is?”

“Ah. Well, yes. But it’s not… I mean, it’s fine, but–” Rex faltered. Howzer found his attempts at reassurance to be insanely disconcerting.

“Rex,” he said emphatically, swallowing hard as he waited for a clear answer. 

“She’s on a supply run,” Rex said abruptly. Howzer stared. 

“Why?”

“We were spread fairly thin, as you know, with multiple missions at once. She accompanied Gregor and Cerra on a simple supply run to a nearby system that we utilize regularly.” His deliberate emphasis on the indisputable safety of the entire ordeal almost made it worse. 

“Gregor and Cerra? And Aurelia? What good–”

“Look, Howzer. I know you guys are… attached and whatnot.” 

Echo stifled a chuckle at Rex’s word choice, then quickly averted his gaze as the blonde clone continued.

“...but we’re running a full operation here. We need every hand we can get. She was willing. It’s not a risky mission. And she’s with two of our best–”

Howzer scoffed. 

“Alright. Feel whatever you feel about it, but that’s the situation. Now, are you able to chart some of the logistics for this” – he gestured at the holotable – “or not?”

Howzer remained silent, an unfocused stare fixed on the illuminated star map between them. 

“I’m going to get a caf,” Rex said definitively. “When I get back, we’ll begin.” It was clear that no requests or disputes were going to be taken at the time, and he walked with straight shoulders toward the kitchen.

Echo sighed, shifting his weight as he leaned against one of the piles of crates that seemed to litter the entire hangar. He cast a gaze at Howzer, then rubbed the back of his neck. 

“Got something to say?” Howzer asked, a bit more caustic than he’d intended.

“Not if you don’t want to hear it.”

“Go ahead.”

An awkward moment.

“I… uh. I don’t know. It makes sense, how you feel. Our operations here are everything, but not quite everything, you know what I mean?”

“No.”

Echo rolled his eyes. “We are devoted to our mission. Rescuing our brothers and fighting the tyranny that turned the galaxy on its head. But we’re not just numbers anymore…” He stopped abruptly, wincing as though the words had physically stabbed him. He sighed, then continued. “The point is… There are other parts of life that we never thought we’d have the chance to experience… That now we can… While still getting the job done.”

“And what lovely experiences are you exploring amid all this work, trooper?” Again, more scathing than genuine.

Echo snorted quietly, tipping his chin away from the disgruntled clone with a smirk. “Nevermind. You clearly don’t care to hear. I was just trying to offer a different perspective than Sir Works-A-Lot over there.” He jerked his head toward the doorway where Rex had disappeared. 

“An ironic name coming from you,” Howzer noted, less contentious now. 

“Yeah, whatever. You get blown up and see how ironic you can get.”

“Well, I got–”

“Don’t even start. A spear to the face might have rattled your brain, but that’s about it.”

“Fair enough.” A flicker of warmth at the harsh camaraderie.

“Anyway,” Echo said emphatically, as though he were thoroughly exasperated from having to explain it all. “I get the feeling of being torn.” Another pause as he thought of his other family back on Pabu. And yet another as he thought about other… significant individuals… in his life. “It’s karking tedious to try to sort it all out. Sometimes you don’t have to. Just go on, one day at a time.”

Howzer didn’t reply, having enough trouble just trying to sort out the cacophony of thoughts he was having in that very second. The relative peace of mind he’d achieved on the flight home had been wafting away as he’d searched for Aurelia, and it had vanished entirely when he learned where she was. For someone who’d had so little control over so much of his life, it didn’t make sense why he would continue to cling to its illusion now. He hadn’t been able to save Sprint, despite his best efforts. He hadn’t been able to save all his men, despite his best efforts. He hadn’t been able to prevent himself from losing months in an Imperial facility, despite his best efforts. Perhaps his “second chance at life” after his liberation had reset the entire pursuit of control and safety? He sighed. 

“I guess sometimes you really do need to just kriff it, eh?” he muttered. 

The corner of Echo’s mouth curved as he chuckled an answer, “Sometimes that is the best option.” A glimmer of humor passed between them, each interpreting it in their own way, before Echo straightened up with a grunt. Rex was on his way back, so he gave Howzer a swift poke with his scomp. “Don’t reduce your life to one singular thing and miss out on whatever else it has to offer. You’ve got more than one good thing. Don’t kark it up. And don’t forget the kriffing.”

Howzer’s mouth twitched in a fleetingly wry grin before turning back to the holotable where Rex was adjusting the map before them. 

* * * 

“They’re closing in!” Cerra yelled.

“Go around the side; I’ll cover!” Gregor demanded.

Flashes of blue light. Red beams. Alarms blaring in the distance. Or nearby? It was impossible to tell.

“There – get through–”

“I know! Hard to shoot and carry, you know!”

“Come on, Commando.”

“Is now really the time?”

“Is it ever?”

A seemingly insensitive giggle, “Fair enough.”

“She’ll be fine.”

Cover fire. Jolting along to the rhythm of loud footsteps. The roar of an engine getting louder and louder. 

“She doesn’t look fine– Behind you!”

“Fire it up; I’ll get the crate.”

“Forget the crate, Cerra! We’ve got to get her out of here!”

“I’ll be on board by the time you strap her in!”

A string of expletives. A wave of indescribable pain exploding from head to toe. Beeps and hums of a takeoff sequence that slowly fades to match the pounding rhythm of a racing heart. 

“That’s my girl!”

“Gods, you’re ridiculous. Let’s go.”

“Hey, I love you!”

“Don’t start.”

I love you. It echoed in Aurelia’s mind until it gave way to shuddering darkness.

.

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"Great! So that's it, then..." he said, nodding cheerfully and turning to find a shirt out of the small bag in the corner -- his only belongings. The pitifully small towel was wrapped around his waist, splitting at the top of his thigh, and Aurelia seriously considered calling in to work right then and there. When he stood back up, popping his head through the shirt and grinning at her with his hair in an adorably tousled mess, she suddenly felt her eyes brimming with tears. He immediately furrowed his brows, taking a step closer and placing a hand on each of her shoulders, tilting his head in unspoken inquisition. 

"I just..." she looked toward the ceiling, willing the emotions to be stuffed back down where she thought they belonged, but one defiant tear made its way down her cheek, tickling down to her jawline where it was lovingly caressed off by Howzer. "I can't believe you're here. I can't believe everything that's happened. I know we spent like a whole day crying about it, but..." she took a deep, shuddering breath, "It just feels like a long way from watching sunsets on Ryloth."

His arms wrapped fully around her now and he nestled his cheek on top of her head. "It is," he admitted, one hand calmly roving up and down her spine. "But you know what?" He kissed her hair as she made a muffled little sound in response. "We keep finding each other. And things will keep changing. But we'll keep finding each other." He could feel her shoulders release some of their tension as she pulled him close, arms around his waist, face buried in his neck. "And besides..." he continued brightly, "I'm still the same old idiot I've always been." 

Aurelia laughed now, pulling back to look at him with glistening eyes. She cupped his scarred cheek in a hand, taking in his slightly shadowed features, his diminutive build without his usual armor, and his soulful eyes that held so much within them. "At least you're my idiot," she grinned, leaning in to kiss his cheek lightly, "And we'll check your cognitive functions today too."

* * * 

"I can finish these three scans myself, if you want to get out of here," Lennox offered, scanning the remaining charts for the day. Aurelia stifled her automatic tendency to decline and actually considered it for a moment; she had been wondering if it would be awkward to have the three of them in close quarters during his scheduled assessment later. But she was also curious, and she knew Howzer was the type who would try to hide injuries or issues out of his own silly pride or care for her or whatever it was, so that alone made the decision for her. 

"It's okay," she answered, powering up the machine, "I appreciate it though." 

"Hm," Lennox nodded, preparing his own work area. "How are you? Overall?" He paused, giving her a sideways glance -- enough to connect but still slightly guarded. 

"Good," Aurelia answered automatically, smiling at the tilt of his head that wordlessly called out her insincerity. "I mean... I'm so grateful for this job, and I think I'm fully healed... physically, at least..."

"We'll have to do an exam to determine that," he said protectively. "So don't go crazy just yet." A frown tugged at the corner of his lips but he turned away before she could see it. "I'm glad you have him back." His voice was quiet now, arranging the tools on his tray mindlessly. 

Aurelia was eternally grateful for the next patient arriving and sparing her the effort of a considerate answer. Howzer had been rescued with two other clones, and after giving them a few days to settle in after their initial examinations, they were to report back for a full work-up if they wanted to be involved in any future missions with Rex, Echo, and the others. Naturally, all three of them had immediately indicated their interest, and so here they were, appointments lined up for them to be checked off. 

Aurelia had asked the assistant to schedule Howzer last, hoping to surprise him with a date above ground afterward. It was risky, for him at least, but she had ideas. So after the first two clones had been thoroughly scanned and interviewed, it was his turn. As he walked into the exam room, she smiled at the sight of him in his blacks. He met her gaze with unfathomable warmth that was quickly masked as he turned to Lennox, offering him a polite nod that was silently returned. 

“Thanks for coming in, Captain,” said Lennox as he gestured to the exam table. “We need you to be completely motionless for the scan, so if you could remain as still as possible, that’d be great.” He nodded to Aurelia to queue it up. 

"That means no talking," she muttered in Howzer's ear, charmed by the grin he gave her as he slid into the large tube. The machine whirred to life, and Aurelia leaned against it awkwardly, watching Lennox rearrange his tools yet again with his back to her. She felt a need to say something but didn't know what. Lennox finally turned around, eyes glancing to the diagnostic screen before resting on her. 

"So... I'm pretty sure this means you're not considering the mobile medical unit anymore..." he said quietly. 

"Not for now," came her slow answer, eyes lowering. "But who knows where we'll all be in a few months." 

"Mmm," he agreed, wistful gaze moving to the scanner tube now. "Well, you'll be great here. Hopefully we can get you some new trainees."

The thought of being in a position of authority made Aurelia's stomach churn, but she'd internalized one primary concept over the turbulent years: one step at a time. So she pushed the future away for now and settled into the present, returning her gaze to the diagnostic screen. They watched in silence until it was finished, slowly pushing Howzer's exam platform back into the open, allowing him to sit up and rest on splayed hands behind him. 

"Everything looks pretty good," Lennox murmured, eyes scanning the information. "Although… You have some fairly serious internal scarring... tissue report shows significant burns..." His eyebrows furrowed as he put the information together, and he looked back to Howzer, whose expression had changed significantly as he stared at Lennox's medical badge instead of his face. "Were you..." he paused, gaze flickering to Aurelia. "Never mind. It's all healed now, and it shouldn't impede any organ function or overall body movement."

"Come on, Lennox," Aurelia said, although the quaver in her voice betrayed her projection of strength and confidence. "You're not keeping things from me. Neither of you are." She looked sternly from him to Howzer, struck by their equally contrite expressions, neither wanting to be the first to speak. "You were tortured," she said, voice cracking again as she watched the subtle muscle twitch of his jaw, and she swallowed hard to maintain her composure. "What did they do?" 

His mouth curled in a distinct scowl as shadows of the past haunted Howzer's memories for a moment, darkening his rich brown eyes. He kept them low as he answered, with a voice that was monotone and empty of all his usual charisma, "Containment field. Electrostaff. Shock collar. Whatever they felt like." 

The silence was deafening. It wasn't uncommon, but it was never pleasant to hear. Aurelia wanted to press, but it was clear that it wasn't something he wished to revisit anytime soon, so she settled to instead take his hand in hers, entwining their fingers tightly. Lennox shifted on his feet, busying himself with the rest of the diagnostic report. 

"The only things I would recommend are fairly obvious..." Lennox continued, "Good nutrition to allow your body to continue to replenish itself, light to moderate exercise as you feel ready, and good rest, as much as you're able. Other than that, you're functioning well and are suitable for missions as Captain Rex determines."

"Thanks, Doc," Howzer answered, sliding to his feet. "Ma'am," he said, dipping his head toward Aurelia, whose smile felt empty as the details of his experience were still tumbling around her mind. 

"Aurelia, would you mind finishing up in here for tomorrow?" Lennox asked. "I'll escort our patient to the front to finalize his chart, then we can be free for the evening."

"Alright, but--"

"I'll wait for you up front," Howzer interrupted, anticipating her words and reassuring her with a smile as he and Lennox disappeared down the hall. The front desk was empty when the two men arrived, and Howzer turned to the doctor with a questioning look. "Anything else you need before I go?" he inquired politely. 

"No, it looks like you're good to go. Just..." Lennox hesitated, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly as he considered his next words carefully. "I understand that you're born and bred for missions, but..." Howzer's brows lowered slightly; perhaps he didn't mean it as a slight, but it felt somewhat patronizing nonetheless, reducing his existence in such a way. "There will always be more to do, more to save, more heroics needed..."

The silence between them felt like an eternity, a bottomless chasm of insecurity and fumbling words. It didn't slip past Howzer's attention that Aurelia was notably out of earshot, and this doctor whom she had spent so much time with clearly had something to get off his chest. While he had grown exponentially in his ability to be diplomatic over the years, there was still something to be said for directness. 

"I can see something is weighing on you, Doc. You can just come out and say it."

"Aurelia is an incredible woman," Lennox blurted out, eyes fixed firmly on the floor. "She has been through so much, and it's only been... what... a little over a year? The constant questions that had no answers, the loneliness, the agony..." he faltered, clearing his throat to push aside the brimming emotions of what he'd witnessed from her side in that clinic late at night. His words were a knife to Howzer's heart, and the clone now found the floor equally captivating as his stomach churned. 

"You have no idea how much I wish I could change what happened," Howzer answered quietly, voice flat and empty. 

"Well you can now," Lennox said, growing more confident now as he raised his face to look at the clone. "If you're going to string her along…" Howzer's eyes lifted with a small gleam of intensity now, but the doctor's voice continued to rise in volume. "You need to make some decisions about your priorities. You can't just disappear for another year. She deserves to be with someone she can rely on. Someone who can promise a future and keep that promise. It should have been you holding her when she lost her child. Your child."

The words echoed heavily, his mind a whirling tornado of thoughts and intentions, regrets and hopes. Howzer remained quiet, holding his gaze for a moment before looking away, although he didn't attempt to hide the tears welling up in his own eyes. There was a wild sense of indignation raging in his chest, a desire to put this doctor in his place with sharp words and tight fists. But there was also a deep, gaping hole in his heart, an entire year of his life taken from him, so much happening that he wasn't even aware of, and a thick layer of sadness that coated everything with regret and humility. 

"You're right."

Lennox tilted his head, surprised by the admission without defensiveness or quarreling. He hadn't expected that; he'd been preparing himself to teach this clone a lesson about recklessness and responsibility. He didn't know how to respond now, instead lowering his eyes to the empty desk beside them. 

"There is no excuse," Howzer continued, his posture somehow resolute and resigned at the same time. "If I had known then what I know now... Ah, it doesn't matter," he waved dismissively, voice thick with emotion. He let out a sigh, running a hand through his hair as he looked around the room, then he fixed his gaze on Lennox once again. "Thank you... for being there for her." 

Lennox stared at him in disbelief. Both men were too stunned by the exchange happening between them to notice Aurelia's silent approach from the hallway, her pause as she sensed the tension in the room and waited out of sight but within earshot.

"Thank you for taking care of her. For being someone she could turn to..." Howzer faltered now, choking on his own sentiment. He shook his head as though he could reset his brain. "But I assure you," he continued, gaze even and steady now, "I have a clear perspective for the future."

* * * 

Aurelia joined Howzer in the lobby after a short goodbye to Lennox, and she immediately felt as though she were stepping into a thick cloud of awkward silence. They moved out into the street, hands finding one other in a gentle grasp, and began to walk aimlessly. She was temporarily thrown off any plans she’d had for the evening by the multi-faceted feelings emanating from him. 

“You alright?” she asked softly.

“Hmm?“

“You alright?” she repeated. “It felt weird when we left. Did Lennox do something?”

Howzer gazed at her for a few seconds, then lowered his eyes to the ground as they walked. She waited patiently, brushing a thumb along the side of his hand.

“He gave me a bit of a lecture,” he began. 

“What made him think–”

“He cares about you a lot,” Howzer interrupted, looking at her again with an indiscernible expression. The unnatural lighting of the Coruscant underworld illuminated his face at harsh angles, and she was struck again by the subtle changes. There was a gauntness to his cheeks and an indescribable depth to his eyes that carried more than she’d ever seen. He glanced away as he continued. “I assume it’s not a surprise to you.”

“Howzer, I never–” 

“I know. I trust you,” he jumped in again. “It just… hurts. And yet I’m grateful for it at the same time. I don’t know what to make of all of this. Honestly, I thought I was going to die. Clones were shipped out of the prison all the time, and while we never knew where they were being taken, it didn’t sound like anything hopeful from the way the officers talked about it. And anyone who resisted was…” He choked, clamping his mouth shut. The muscles in his cheeks flexed as he gritted his teeth together. 

Aurelia remained silent, holding his hand more tightly. Her mind flashed back to the images on his scan. She couldn’t imagine.

“Anyway, the doctor basically told me to get some perspective. About my choices, future options, our life…”

Our life. The words settled in her heart, a soothing balm to her rising concerns about his restless demeanor, yet he didn’t offer any clarity about said perspective.

“But we don’t have to figure anything out right now,” he continued briskly. He met her eyes again and the pain was quickly masked by his usual sparkle, although it lacked a bit of its luster. “Let’s enjoy our time before you get called to work for another midnight arrival.”

“Alright,” she agreed, letting it go for now. She was grateful that he was so forthcoming about his thoughts and feelings, and yet she knew there was much to consider and discuss. It took a monumental effort to push the possibilities aside, and she stopped walking, pulling him to face her. “Hey,” she said softly, releasing his hand to stroke the back of his head, heart thrilling at the way it lowered his shoulders a fraction of an inch. “I haven’t found any interesting ‘spots’ down here that are worth our time. Want to just get some food and turn in?”

He nodded, a small smile on his face. They chatted amiably about nothing at all as they made their way to a food cart, ordered a lackluster array of wraps and skewers, then took them to the dormitory above the clinic. Her room was claustrophobically small, and they had yet to find any other option for the two of them to share, so they opted for the common room and snuggled close on the couch to peruse the dinner spread. 

Minutes passed with gently playful banter and reminiscence about funny moments or memories that felt like another lifetime. Some had a cheering effect while others were tinged with the perspective of the present and were carefully navigated away from. They ate slowly, sharing bites with one another and leaning in as closely as they could. Aurelia wanted to wrap herself in him and never let go. 

“Hey, didn’t you have a physical exam recently too?” he asked, remembering her offhanded comment a few days before. 

“Mmhmm.”

“See, it’s not fair that you got to be at mine and I didn’t–”

“I’m a medic,” she grinned. “Because of you, actually. So…”

“Hmmph.”

“Anyway, everything was normal. Well, except a bit of a heart condition,” she deadpanned.

“What?” He sat up sharply, looking at her with immediate concern.

“Yeah,” she continued, a bit of a smirk dancing across her face now. “Heart rate seems to increase exponentially when thinking of one person in particular. Complete and total infatuation.”

He snorted, shaking his head fondly beneath a wave of relief. Once they’d finished the food, Howzer reclined, stretching an arm across her shoulders as she tucked her feet on the couch and nestled into his side. He leaned his cheek on her head, staring wordlessly out the window at the neon lights and dismal architecture of the underworld. Her hand found his knee, then absently stroked up his thigh, again noting the diminished ratio of muscle to bone as she stopped to rest her palm halfway up.

“A little higher…” he murmured, earning a giggle from her. It lifted her spirits a disproportionate amount, and she acquiesced, sliding it at a tantalizing rate. His new clothing looked like Captain Rex’s the first time she saw him, and she relished the ability to be close to him without the hard plates of his armor. She stopped at the top of his thigh, turning her face up to nuzzle his neck and place a chaste kiss on it. His minute shiver was followed by a tightening of his arm around her shoulders. “It seems like you’re telling me it’s time to go,” he grinned. 

“You’re the one who told me to–”

But he was already on his feet, clearing the table and heading for the trash can. He waited for her to swipe her card to access the apartment, and she glanced around the tiny room as the door whooshed shut behind them. His arms snaked around her waist, pulling her back against his chest snugly, and now it was he who dropped his lips to her neck. Light kisses grew heavier, and she rested her arms atop his, pulling them even more tightly around her. A heat was quickly growing in her core, likely mimicked in his own judging by the way his body was shifting against her more and more. 

“Howzer,” she said quietly, worshipfully enough that it sent a tingle down his spine and yet protestingly enough that it gave him pause. 

“Not feeling it?” he said, slowing his movement to simply resting his lips against her shoulder. 

“You know I’m feeling it,” she sighed, squirming around to face him. He didn’t let go. “But… I need to get an implant before… Well, before we can enjoy all of that again.”

“Ah,” he nodded, suddenly anxious about how to navigate it all. So much surprise, so much regret. “I… uh… I’m sorry.” She lowered her head to rest it on his shoulder, looking away at the stark gray wall. 

“It’s okay. I should have thought of it from the start. I thought…” she swallowed, somewhat sheepish now. “I thought I heard somewhere that clones couldn’t reproduce.”

“Makes sense,” he mused, distracted by the sensation of her actually referring to him as a clone, which was simultaneously novel and somewhat offputting. There was no reason for him to feel that way; it was the same as him calling her a nat-born… He shook it off. “So… we need to wait until you get that?”

“Yeah,” she said, lifting her head to look at him.

“Alright,” he said in a sudden businesslike tone, stepping toward the door and taking her hand. “Off to the clinic. Let’s go.” She laughed, tugging him back to her. 

“You’re ridiculous,” she admonished, although she would very much like to get it right then and there.

“Aren’t you a medic?”

“I can’t do it to myself,” she laughed. 

“Well you can tell me how. Come on.”

“Oh my gosh.” The mental picture was beyond ridiculous. The central Imperial facility had much more modern technology where it could be inserted with a simple shot, anywhere in the body, but the underworld clinic was still stuck with old-fashioned methods, so the process required a more invasive approach. “Tomorrow,” she insisted, unable to wipe the grin from her face. “Although… I have bad news…”

“Hit me.”

“We’ll still have to wait three days for it to kick in.”

Howzer’s overly-dramatic reaction solidified her smile as he collapsed against the door, pressing the back of a hand to his forehead and squeezing his eyes shut as though he couldn’t bear it. It reminded her of the first time he took off his armor, and she was on him in a second. 

A stifled “mmph” was all he could get out as her lips crashed into his, hands splayed on his chest and body pressed against every inch of him that she could reach. He inhaled loudly through his nose, tilting his face to meet her and cupping the back of her head immediately. She could feel his heart racing beneath her palms, and she slotted a thigh between his legs to get even closer. His other hand found the small of her back, holding her close as he deepened the kiss, pulling away for a quick breath and a smoldering look into her eyes before diving back in. 

There was a hunger in it, a desperation that fanned the flame, and she slid one hand around the back of his neck, matching his energy. His lips parted, open-mouthed kisses growing in their dizziness-inducing ardor, and he buried his fingers in her hair, clenching them tightly. She didn’t even realize how much she had begun to writhe against him, lost as she was in his taste and touch, until he pulled away with a gasp.

“You…” he breathed, flinging his head back against the door with a clumsy thunk. “You can’t… You’re killing me.” The look on his face was incendiary – burning desire and thin restraint competed in his chocolate brown eyes – and Aurelia was struck by just how much she liked the way it made her feel. 

“Sorry,” she purred, stroking his cheek as he closed his eyes for a second. “We can’t do… that… but that doesn’t mean we can’t do anything else…” His eyes flew open, lips pressed together as though it was taking all he had to control himself, and he pushed himself off the door to stand up straight. After a single deep sigh, he tipped her chin up with a single hooked finger, brushing his thumb across her lower lip and failing to hide the tiniest shudder in his breath. 

“Doesn’t sound like the worst way to spend three days.”

.

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"Another one?" the newcomer quizzed, lifting his eyebrows in fake surprise, "Well son of a Hutt. It just doesn't make any sense, Howzer."

Brushing his tousled hair out of his face, Howzer regarded his brother with a spark in his eye and a grin on his face. He shrugged theatrically, heaving a mournful sigh as though the weight of the world rested on his shoulders, then motioned to the bartender for another round for both of them.

"Aww, look at the fresh batch of shinies!" came a voice behind them.

Howzer bristled, turning slightly on his stool. Four troopers from the 148th, clearly inebriated, were pointing and laughing from a table nearby. They continued their taunts.

"Pursue your dreams, boys," one said in a mockingly inspirational tone. "There's a whole wide world out there, full of possibilities."

"The whole war is just waiting for you to be the hero to end it all!”

"Look at those soft little faces! Fresh outta the tube. Just precious."

His jaw set in a rigid line, Howzer stiffened. Noticing the sudden change in composure, his friend placed a gentle yet firm hand on his forearm.

"Ignore em. They just think they’re the porg’s paws because they got hot zone assignments."

"I know, Sprint, but it drives me nuts. They see a few battles and then they can say whatever they want? They have no idea what I'm capable of. Why should I just sit here and take it?" Howzer said, not breaking eye contact from the four at the table.

"Because what else are you going to do, fight them?" Sprint answered, shaking his head as if brushing the idea aside. He turned back to the bar, welcoming the arrival of two glass mugs with open arms. "Come on, the drinks are here."

Howzer turned back slightly, taking a long swig from his mug before putting it on the counter and wiping the froth from his lips. He felt a burning indignation as he heard their continued laughter above the rest of the din of the bar. Finally, he could take it no longer. Grabbing the mug handle and rising to his feet in one swift motion, he sauntered over to their table, towering over them in a wide stance.

"Maybe you rust buckets could use a little reminder of what's behind these soft little faces," he growled, finishing his drink in one last long swallow and slamming the empty glass down on the table, leaving his hand wrapped around the handle.

"Oh look! The shiny wants to test out his wings," said one of the troopers, regarding him with a thoroughly amused air.

"I think he's just had a bit too much tonight," Sprint said, approaching from behind with his hands up in a diplomatic gesture. "Sorry, fellas. He doesn't get out much." He put a hand on Howzer's back, silently inviting him to take the opportunity to extricate himself before the situation escalated any further.

"Well of course! We all know little boys can't hold their liquor anyway," another trooper jeered, leaning forward to stand up. Before he made it upright, though, Howzer swung the empty glass mug with full force into his gut, and the air whooshed out of him as he doubled over. The other three were on their feet instantly, staring at him in shock for a moment. He flung the mug at the nearest one, then leapt to tackle the clone on his other side. They both hit the ground in a flailing pile.

Sprint sighed, but had no further time to mourn Howzer's choices as a fist came flying at his face. He ducked under it and rushed the clone, knocking him onto the table. Another one grabbed Sprint from behind, pulling him backward, but falling to the ground as his legs were suddenly kicked out from under him by Howzer.

Three minutes, one black eye, two broken teeth, and six bruised egos later, the fight was broken up by some officers who were getting tired of the disruption. They were unceremoniously thrown out, nursing their wounds and their pride. Sprint followed Howzer down the street, rubbing the back of his neck where it had hit the edge of a table.

"Now who would have seen that coming..." Sprint began.

"Don't start," Howzer interrupted, wiping the blood from his cheekbone where it had been split open. "They won't be giving me that garbage when I'm a Captain."

"I don't think being a Captain is all you've cracked it up to be," Sprint replied calmly, "But sure."

Silence reigned for a moment.

"You didn't have to get caught up in that," Howzer said, stopping to allow Sprint to catch up to him so they could walk together. "Sorry about your neck."

"I don't think I had much choice, but either way, I've got your back," Sprint assured him as they trudged back to their quarters.

"Look sharp," Hex whispered, and Howzer stood up a bit straighter as Orn Free Taa exited the Senate chamber. Without a word, they both fell into step beside him, escorting him through the hallway. They marched smartly, DC-17s in hand, and it took all of Howzer's self-control to avoid staring at Taa's many quivering chins as he talked about his afternoon plans.

Once they arrived at the restaurant, they were dismissed to wait outside, and Howzer slumped against the building unceremoniously, groaning inwardly at his lot in life. Hex remained standing at attention next to him, and the judgment emanating from him was palpable.

"Why doesn't he have his own Twi'leki guards?" Howzer complained, pulling his helmet off. His hair had grown out from the standard military cut they received on Kamino, and it fell across his forehead in thick black pieces. He ran a hand through it, looking at Hex and continuing his protest, "Aren't they supposed to be fierce warriors or something? I mean, obviously not the politicians, but the ones back on Ryloth at least?"

Hex shifted his weight slightly; it was clearly not the first time he had heard these complaints. "This is our assignment. We are soldiers of the Republic, assigned to do whatever the Republic needs us to do. Would you like to take it up with the Captain?"

"No," Howzer sighed, rolling his head from one shoulder to the other, "I just didn't get the impression that our training would be preparing us to ensure that a Senator can eat all day long." He could have sworn he heard a quick laugh-turned-cough from Hex, but he decided not to push his luck.

A couple of female Twi'leks passed by on the sidewalk in front of them, and Howzer stood tall immediately, tucking his helmet under his arm and running a hand through his hair again.

"Hey, you two! How would you like a job?" he said, in an insufferably cheesy tone. "I'll hire you right here on the spot. Well, one of you. The other one can come to lunch with me."

Hex let out an audible groan then, and the Twi'leks looked at each other with a shared grimace. But Howzer was unfazed, "Now now, don't fight over it. I know it's a lot to take in all at once. Take your time, sort it out between yourselves, and let me know which one of you is the lucky lady who gets to hit the town with me."

At that, they simply turned and continued on their way, gliding down the sidewalk in a cloud of eyerolls and wrinkled noses. Howzer resumed his lean against the wall, sighing in defeat.

"Their loss."

Aurelia wiped the cloth across the bar counter mindlessly as she watched an hourglass-shaped BD-3000 luxury droid moving to the beat with a predictable series of motions, fully holding the clone’s attention as he danced along next to her. A smile crept onto Aurelia's face, accompanied by the mild fondness she always felt at the clones' behaviors. That one especially, CT-1999, came to the establishment anytime he had a free moment, and his affinity for dancing had earned him the nickname “Bop”.

She had worked at 79s for a few months, considering it a "place holder" while she figured out a more long-term career plan. She simultaneously had far too many aspirations at once while also feeling overwhelmed and paralyzed by all of them, settling instead to cater to the needs of a rowdy crowd most nights while she daydreamed about the possibilities.

"Whatcha thinkin about, beautiful?" came an exceedingly smooth clone voice, bringing her back to reality, and her eyes snapped into focus to see Pivot leaning on the bar across from her. She smiled, swatting her washcloth at him playfully.

"Just pining for your return, of course," Aurelia responded quickly, flipping the cloth over her shoulder and bending down to prepare his usual drink. He had been coming there long before she started, and he was as comforting as he was harmless. She had initially been put off by what seemed like advances, but when she realized there was nothing behind them other than flattery and fun, she relaxed and played along.

"Well, feast your eyes," Pivot answered, sliding some credits across the counter to her as she poured the drink from the shaker into a highball glass. She plopped a couple bright berries on the top and pushed it toward him, snorting in delight when she saw the macho pose he had struck.

"Consider them feasted."

Pivot laughed, giving her a playful salute as he scooped up his glass and made his way back to his squad in a corner booth.

"I mean, if you think about it, it seems like such a simple solution," Howzer said, gesturing abstractly with one hand. "I can't wait to show them what some real strategy looks like."

"I'm sure they'll be grateful," purred the Mirialan next to him, cupping her face in her hand and resting an elbow on the table, looking up at him with admiration.

"Well, it's what we were made for," he answered, puffing up a bit more. This had been going surprisingly well, and he fought to keep his composure. "So, any other plans tonight?"

She shook her head demurely, muttering something about unpacking some cargo crates.

"I've got a little something you can unpack," Howzer chortled, "If you need some practice. Er, a big something. That can pack—“

"Ugh," came the reply, and she quickly excused herself with a roll of the eyes. He leaned back in the booth, allowing a brief sigh before gathering himself and rising to his feet. He ambled to the bar counter, scanning the room for any familiar faces along the way and seeing none. He missed Sprint, who was his usual companion when his romantic pursuits came up empty, and consoled himself by imagining the missions his brother may have been enjoying.

"Can I get you anything?"

Howzer looked up, finding the bartender waiting patiently across from him, wiping a glass as she regarded him with a slightly tilted head. He could work with this — she was alive, aware, and talking to him. Just his type. He leaned jauntily against the counter, flashing his roguish grin and turning on the charm.

"Listen, I know you probably have a lot of questions, but before we dive in, you can go ahead and take a moment to soak it all in. I'm sure you're wondering how you, of all people, managed to find the best-looking clone, right here in your own bar."

Aurelia smirked at the blatant irony of his phrase, fully prepared with a tongue-in-cheek response, "'Best-looking clone'? Did they teach you about irony on Kamino?"

"They taught us about everything," Howzer returned evenly, "So if you've got any questions, I'd be happy to let you in on all the mysteries of the galaxy." He raised one eyebrow with a distinctly fiendish air, taking in her features to find something to compliment. She had long, brown hair and dark eyes with a bit of a slant to them, but aside from that, she was as unremarkable as he’d ever seen. She had… lips… and her nose was… a nose… Her jaw had a slight angle to it, and her height and build were… standard. Perhaps he’d take a more intellectual pursuit.

"Wow. What an offer," she marveled flatly, pressing the back of a hand to her forehead as if about to faint. This sort of interchange came with the territory, sure, but could also become tiresome. She yearned for any conversation of substance and was realizing more and more frequently that this was not the atmosphere for that. 

“Mhm,” he nodded. “And you seem like a smart girl, so I’m sure I’ll be right up your alley… If you know what I mean.” He stifled a chuckle as he realized the [unfathomably distant] potential of a double entendre and was now grinning like an idiot.

"Huh? What do you mean?” she asked, eyes widening with naïveté. 

He faltered, mouth falling slightly open as he fought to regain his metaphorical balance and come up with something with even more zing. This was going to be great.

“Ohhhh,” she said suddenly, lifting her chin as though it had just dawned upon her. “You’ll be up my alley… Like my vagina is an alley and you’re gonna get in it…”

Her volume was loud enough to ignite an explosion of coughs, splutters, and guffaws from the nearby patrons, and Howzer gaped at her from a face that was as shocked as it was red. Aurelia winked at a Zabrak who was giving her a thumbs up from the side, then finally took a handful of orders from a raucous bunch that had been waiting. He watched as she poured and prepared, exchanging quips and thanks, then she turned back to him.

“Anyway, can I get you anything?" She arranged her features into polite nonchalance.

"Uh,” he muttered. Her reseponse had been the last thing he’d expected, and as embarrassed as he was, there was absolute delight bubbling up beneath it. 

“Shall I surprise you?” Glimmering eyes framed a wry smile. Her face was plain but what came out of it surely wasn’t. 

“No, you already did that,” he chuckled, shaking his hair out of his eyes. “I’ll have a fizz. Please.” He’d quickly added the last part in response to a playful tilt of her head and watched as she turned to fetch one from the conservator. The bar droid, whirling its arms to rinse and replenish glasses as quickly as possible, moved behind her to reach for a fresh rack just as she was turning to come back. They collided clumsily, each making a noise of indignation while scrambling to keep hold of their items, and Howzer had to rest a fist against his mouth to stifle his reaction. But when she slid the bottle across the bar to him, flustered and red-cheeked, he couldn’t resist a little jab.

“I think you deserved that.”

“Ha,” she snorted, flashing a sheepish grin instead of the indignant scowl he anticipated. It seemed that her clumsiness had taken her down a notch. He reached for the bottle, but she was still holding it tightly, and she leaned her elbows on the counter. “For what?” 

“For being… For being too loud about vaginas…” he fumbled, laughing at himself now. He wasn’t sure he’d ever uttered that word aloud, and his self-effacing frankness was rubbing off on her as well. She let go of the bottle, dropping her eyes and shaking her head with a fond chuckle before regarding him warmly. 

“But your terrible advances deserve such fanfare,” she stated, nodding sagely with her best attempt to convey dignity and wisdom.

“Terrible!” he protested, jerking the bottle toward him with a look of affront. “The only thing that’s terrible is your taste.”

“Mmm. My parents would agree,” she returned evenly, flashing a sardonic expression to cover the slightest tinge of sadness in her words. “My brother too.”

“Brother, eh? I’ve got a few of those.”

“You don’t say.”

She smiled, tapped the counter, and darted away to serve another handful of customers. Howzer couldn’t help but notice her gaze flitting back to him a few times, and he began to wrack his brain for other things to say since their conversation seemed to be of interest to her. Maybe he was imagining it, though, as she had a similar repartee with other clones, especially Pivot, who touched her hand and said something with mock sincerity as she handed him a glass mug. She leaned in to hear him, then shook her head with a laugh as they parted ways, and when she turned to tap a few buttons on the register, he noticed her shoulders hunch a bit as though she were taking a break from a facade. When she returned to take some orders from clones beside him, he was eager to continue their exchange and went with the first thing that came to mind.

“So what are your wildest dreams?" Howzer yelled over the music and voices. The officer behind him laughed and swatted the back of his head.

“What the kriff are you on about, trooper?”

“Just practicing social interaction,” he winked.

“Well practice more!” The group hooted in response and he got a few slaps on the back as they left.

“I just thought it would be–” he began, as Aurelia smiled at him.

“To read whimsical poetry while sitting beneath a large tree on a serene, cloudy day," she answered without missing a beat. She turned to get a bottle from the conservator behind her, missing the flash of surprise on Howzer's face. He looked serious for a moment, something working its way through his brain, but was back to his cocky little show when she turned back around.

"Wow," he bantered, "What refined taste you have. I'll get right on that." 

“With all your free time?” 

“I’m one of those ‘I can do it all’ types,” he smirked, puffing his chest out a bit. 

“Alright, Mister I-Can-Do-It-All,” she sighed, pushing her hair out of her face. “I’ll be eagerly waiting.”

“Excellent. And you can call me Howzer if that’s too long to say.” He extended a hand across the counter.

"Aurelia," she responded, shaking it and secretly hoping his desire for attention had been satisfied.

"Aurelia," he echoed, trying it on for size, "Fancy name for a fancy lady. Alright, Aurelia. I'll be seeing you. Try to hold it together until we meet again." Howzer popped the cap from the bottle, flipped it toward her like a coin, gave her a wink, and sauntered off. 

Howzer sighed, knuckles tightening on the edges of his tray in the mess hall. "I can't believe you get to be out there doing all that, and I'm stuck waddling around after Mister Diplofat here."

Sprint had been filling him in on his latest mission, recounting the details with just enough enthusiasm to make it a thoroughly riveting story and further fueling the simmering desire for some "real action". They walked along the food line, whose offerings never changed.

"You can find dignity in any assignment if you choose to," Sprint answered, grabbing a spoon before heading to a table.

"Maybe you can. But once they make me a Captain, it's gonna be a turning point in the war," Howzer insisted as he followed after him.

"Great. I can't wait. Now eat your soup."

An impossibly long week of repetitive and seemingly pointless tasks found Howzer back at 79s, accompanied by a few squad mates he had found conversation with. They were reclined in a booth on the upper level, swapping stories and jokes, when some voices rose above the others downstairs.

"Get back to work, sweetie. And here, take my glass. I could use a refill."

"Did you hear me? I said it's time to go," came a female voice with a sharp edge to it. Howzer peered over the balcony, eyes drawn to a table with a few Weequay pirates huddled over a game of sabacc. A handful of clones were standing around them, arms crossed and brows furrowed, and in the center of the group was Aurelia, pointing toward the door.

One of the pirates stood up, leering at her with just enough impairment to his movements to bely his condition. "We're not done making money off of these chumps!" he said, beckoning toward the troopers nearby, who stiffened and appeared to be readying for a fight.

Aurelia sighed, cursing herself inwardly for agreeing to cover a shift by herself. She opened her mouth for one last attempt when a loud voice came over her shoulder.

"You're done if she says you're done."

She turned, spotting a familiar clone approaching from the stairs, striding confidently toward the group. She couldn't quite remember his name, but she recognized his messy hair and the way he tried to swagger. Howzer pushed past a couple angry brothers to stand beside her, folding his arms over his tensed chest.

"Oh look boys, she's got a little guard dog," the Weequay taunted, turning to poke Howzer in the chest plate, "A nice fresh one all raring to go."

"Come on," a clone said to what appeared to be the leader of the scallywags, "Let's not turn this into a big mess. Just call it a night. You've wiped us clean. Take your winnings and go."

"He's got a point," said one of the pirates from the table, rising to his feet to scoop up the variety of credits and cards scattered across it. "Besides, I'm still tired from the last troopers I beat up."

They stood, gathering their things, as Howzer watched sternly. The crowd of clones dissipated, eager to return to their leisure, and the closest Weequay leaned into Aurelia's face, hissing something foul under his breath. She grimaced at the hot blast of stinky air as well as the content of his words.

Smack! Howzer's hand flew out of nowhere, whacking the pirate upside the back of his head. A confused squawk flew from the Weequay's mouth, and one of his cronies was on Howzer in an instant. They staggered back and forth for a moment, swatting at one another clumsily. One particularly messy swing left Howzer exposed, and the pirate landed a tragically accurate sucker punch straight to his gut. He doubled over in pain, quickly followed by terror as his stomach lurched and he felt his dinner come flying back up, out of his mouth, and all over the feet of the gang in front of him.

With a loud chorus of shock and disgust, the pirates left, throwing a litany of insults over their shoulders as they left. Howzer slowly stood back up, hand pressed to his mouth, horrified that one well-placed shot had turned his attempt at courage into a mortifying embarrassment. Aurelia was still next to him, having jumped back a few feet when the pirate charged him, looking at the mess on the floor with a resigned disappointment before turning to fetch a mop from the utility closet.

"Wait, I'll get it," Howzer said, reaching for her elbow. "Or a service droid can?"

"Our droid is perpetually broken. Wait here so no one steps in it," she answered, not looking back. She disappeared around a corner behind the bar, and he stood there for a moment, arms at his sides, ignoring the repulsed looks and judgmental jabs from the patrons around him. Aurelia returned with the cleaning supplies, which he promptly took from her arms.

"Please. This was my fault. And it's disgusting," Howzer insisted, and she acquiesced with a mumbled sentence of gratitude. There were a few orders waiting for her at the bar, so she returned to wash her hands and take care of those while he cleaned up the mess. When he finished, he remained on his knee for a moment, then sighed and got to his feet. 

"I'll put these back," he said, bringing the supplies to the edge of the bar and pausing for a moment, affirmed by Aurelia motioning with her head toward the utility closet. After tucking it all away and washing his hands in the hallway, he slumped on a stool at the very end of the counter. It was getting close to closing time, and the crowd was dwindling. The music was starting to feel like more of an annoyance than anything else as the desire for sleep began to outweigh the jovial nature of the remaining guests.

A few stragglers were finishing their drinks and conversations, and Aurelia had things mostly tidied up when she noticed Howzer still sitting dejectedly. She was struck by the change in his composure; she had become accustomed to seeing him jaunt around the place, chatting up a variety of females and acting like a general big shot. His friend was noticeably missing tonight, and she felt a sudden intrigue at his complete deflation.

"Thanks for taking care of that earlier," she said, ambling to the end of the bar to chat while she waited for the clock to signal her freedom. "And sorry you got sucker punched."

"That was definitely not how I envisioned that going," he replied, eyes looking up at her from a downcast face.

"Yeah, well... Things often take unexpected turns around here," she offered, studying his face as if it could offer a clue to the name he had shared before giving up. "I'm sorry... What was your name again?"

"Howzer," he muttered, "CT-2420."

"That's right," she said, still mystified by the drastic change in his behavior. She felt oddly moved by it, and it somehow reminded of her older brother when he was disappointed in himself. She glanced at the few remaining patrons, who didn't look close to being done, then back to Howzer. "Don't beat yourself up," she said gently.

"I know. It's just hard to envision my future as a Captain when I can't even handle a few obnoxious spike heads," Howzer answered. "Maybe the cushy life of following politicians around is the only thing I'm suited for after all."

Aurelia smiled, relating to the tendency to overreact to perceived failures. She placed a hand over his, and his head jerked up to look at her, shocked out of his despondency as she spoke, "Sometimes the steps that get us to where we need to be aren't what we think we need. But they can shape and prepare us in unexpected ways."

He regarded her thoughtfully, touched by her compassion and inexplicably drawn in by her dark eyes. "Sounds pretty wise," he mumbled. He was uncharacteristically lost for words; he usually had a whole variety of slick phrases and comebacks, but he felt empty somehow.

"That's why I work here," Aurelia quipped, offering a playful smile in an attempt to encourage him out of his discouraged state. He returned her smile with a small one of his own, and she pulled her hand back from his, checking the time. Thank the Maker, it was finally the end of her shift. She ventured into the room to shoo out the last few stragglers, and Howzer rose to his feet, helmet at his hip, waiting until just the two of them remained. He paused in the doorway, turning his head to Aurelia at a nearby table.

"Hey," he said softly, catching her attention, "Thank you."

.

Master List - Next Chapter

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The result of his efforts was fairly satisfying, however. He’d moved their tiny table to the center of the room (a whopping two feet away from its corner) and had thrown a few of the glow rods into an old canister that he’d poked holes into, allowing their colors to illuminate the small selection of snacks he’d gathered. They were arranged meticulously around a single bottle of fizz and two tin cups, and the entire assortment was garnished with the remains of what might have been a few flowers at one point in time. He wasn’t exactly an expert navigator of the underworld, nor did he have the time or resources to venture much further, so while it was a feeble gesture, at least his good intentions would shine through… Right?

He checked the chrono. There was no scheduled arrival time for her return, so he added a few final touches to his little display, then also noticed it might be wise to pick up some of his crap that he’d left around the apartment. After a thorough, wholehearted effort, the place was as spotless as it was welcoming. And he was left with nothing else to do. Except perhaps clean himself.

Strolling into the hangar half an hour later, he was mildly relieved to see Rex, alone with the holotable and a few datapads, and after a fleeting thought of whether or not Rex ever did anything else, he joined him at the table. 

“Couldn’t wait, hmm?” Rex needled, fixing Howzer with a knowing glance.

“For what?” Howzer deadpanned. “I’m here to devote my time and soul to the glorious cause.”

“Sure,” Rex nodded. “Anyway…”

Time passed, strategy was discussed, and Howzer kept trying to shrug off the nagging accusation that he was only using half his brain while the other half was absently listening for any sound of any approaching spacecraft. 

* * * 

Murky dreams floated through Aurelia’s head as the ship sped through hyperspace on its way back to the base. They were sporadic and random, with no chronological order and many missing details. 

Fumbling to catch a blaster; it landed in her lap in her seat on the ship. “Just point and pull,” Cerra said.

Breathy moans of passion.

Dark alleyways with sinister shadows from shifting neon lights and broken beams cast from windows and doors.

“Teach me? With a blaster?” 

The steady beeps of the ship’s controls.

Striving to be a soldier. Burdening Howzer.

A muffled cry of climax.

Searing pain across her shoulder. 

Point and pull, point and pull.

* * * 

It felt like ages when the familiar sound of landing gear reached Howzer’s ears, and he left Rex mid-sentence to trot out to the platform. The ship dropped with a messy thunk, and he made a mental note to tease Gregor about that later. Stabilizers hissed as the gangway lowered, and his thinly-restrained joy was immediately pulverized by grotesque fear at the sight of Gregor rushing toward him with a limp, blood-splattered form in his arms. He ran to meet the commando, eyes full of fear as the extent of her injuries became visible. 

Aurelia’s arm was messily wrapped with some gauze, a bacta patch sticking out on all sides, but her head was entirely covered with some kind of blanket or shirt… There had been a feeble attempt to clean off the blood, but it was everywhere – her clothes, her ears, the sides of her neck. Her face was barely visible beneath the cloth, and her peaceful expression of unconsciousness was a jarring contrast to her gruesome appearance.

Without his permission, Howzer was back on Ryloth, explosions echoing in the distance and flames engulfing nearby houses as he dug through the wreckage. He didn’t even notice how the wreckage scraped his hands as he pushed and pulled, fueled on by the muffled cries for help. The last thing he saw was Sprint’s mangled body, pinned by the rocks and beams that had taken his life, and the small Twi’lek boy that he’d given it for.

Then the same fear and powerlessness jerked him back into the present.

* * * 

“Okay. The details now,” Howzer commanded over the steady beeps and whirrs in the small room at the med clinic. His gaze was evenly fixed on Gregor, hands resting awkwardly on his legs as though they were barely able to resist being tightly clenched into fists. Aurelia had been cleaned up, scanned, and treated as much as possible; now it was just a wait for her return to consciousness.

“The supplier’s a karking idiot,” Gregor began, holding his hands up as Howzer opened his mouth. “Cool your ion engines.” His giggle was immediately quelled by a flicker of abhorrence. Howzer remained motionless. “Alright,” he continued, “The supplier scheduled two pickups at once. Two different clients. And apparently didn't inform either of us. So we show up, the other guy gets spooked cause he didn't expect us, and... Let’s just say our negotiations didn’t work so well.” Another involuntary chuckle. “We got out to the alleyways and worked our way back to the ship. Aurelia got shot in the arm, well, grazed…” 

Howzer shifted his weight. There was more.

“...and…” Gregor paused, eyes flitting from one spot on the wall to another. “She ran into a durasteel cross-beam and knocked herself out,” he finished lamely.

Howzer stared, dumbfounded. 

“I mean… It was really dark, and there were guys everywhere…” Gregor offered. “Oh! And she got a few good shots off!” 

Howzer sighed, rubbing his forehead with a hand. She shouldn’t have been there in the first place. And she needed to be able to defend herself. She shouldn’t be so helpless. But she shouldn’t be out in the field at all. But in these times… 

“Look,” Gregor interrupted his thoughts, “All things considered, it could have been much worse. You and I both know how kriffed up the galaxy is right now. We can’t even protect ourselves, eh? Unless you booked your own stay at that imperial facility, heh. I definitely didn’t make a reservation!” Howzer glanced at him, initial flare of indignation tempered by the memory of their shared experience in that area. 

“I get it,” he responded, as unconvincing as it was pessimistic. 

“Alright,” Gregor sighed, rising to his feet. “I’ll leave you to it. Maybe you can calm yourself down with a nice little cuddle.” He giggled, waggling his eyebrows toward Aurelia. “I mean, when she’s awake, of course. Or not, I don’t know.”

“Mhm.” As the commando took his leave, Howzer rolled his stool closer to Aurelia’s bedside, taking her hand in his. His thumb traced idle circles across her knuckles, then he brought them to his mouth for a kiss. 

* * * 

The familiar smells of home that welcomed Aurelia back into the world were as soothing as they were confusing. Her brain flickered with memories of an experience that didn’t match the reality of where she was. Unfathomably comfortable beneath the warm covers of their bed, she shifted a bit to glance around the room. The small movement provoked a reverberating ache throughout her head, and she clapped her hands to it, regretting that instantly as well. There was a dull pain in her arm, but it was nothing compared to the thunder between her ears. 

A need for the refresher finally forced her to get out of bed, then she ventured out into the main living area. Their table had been moved, and she felt a bit confused as she took in the unusual array set out upon it. Fizz, cups, a can with holes in it, crumpled petals? At least there were snacks. She peered into the canister, noting dull, clear tubes inside. Odd. 

The door slid open, startling her into a jerk of the head that made her hiss, holding a hand to its side, but she was pleasantly distracted by the sight of Howzer awkwardly clambering through the doorway with an unwieldy assortment of bags and a box. He dropped it carelessly onto the counter and was by her side in an instant, one hand on the small of her back and the other hovering a millimeter above her cheek as though afraid of breaking it. 

“Stars, you’re awake,” he said, face soft and eyes wide as they searched hers. “How do you feel?”

“Like I got run over by a cruiser,” she muttered, tipping her face into his hand ever so slowly. 

“Do you remember what happened?”

“Yeah… We were running in an alleyway, and I think I got shot in the arm…” she gestured to her bicep, where the bacta patch had already worked most of its magic. “And then…” She fell silent, mouth pressing into a thin line as her eyes lowered to the floor. “Then I got hit in the head.” 

Howzer brushed a feather-light thumb across her cheekbone. “Yeah, that’s about what Gregor said too. Well, at least your memory wasn’t affected.”

“I guess so. Maybe we can still be joint founders of the brain impairment club,” she grinned, and again he was subjected to an unprovoked memory of Sprint similarly teasing him after he’d been injured by a Twi’lek spear. Her face fell as she saw his reaction. “I’m kidding,” she said softly. “Sorry…”

“No, it’s okay,” he answered, taking a deep breath and looking back up to her. “It… It was something my brother said to me after I got this.” He gestured to his cheek, and now it was her turn to trace fingers along the jagged edges of the scar. 

“Sprint?” she whispered. He nodded, lowering his hand to rest both on her hips as she stroked his face. 

Aurelia murmured her apologies, and after a small sigh, he resumed a more businesslike manner. “Anyway… We need to make sure you’re alright. The clinic said to keep a close watch on you. They kicked you out early because they needed the room.” The dark look on his face suggested that he hadn’t agreed with this decision. “So even though you’re here, it doesn’t mean it’s business as usual.”

“There is no business as usual these days,” she said with a glimmer in her eye. 

He pulled her a little closer. “I can think of some rituals we could implement… for some stability.”

She laughed, invoking a small pang of pain, and nestled into his chest with a sigh. 

“Oh!” he continued, gesturing toward the box and bags. “I brought breakfast!” 

Aurelia took care to move very slowly this time, inspecting the goods curiously. “For an entire squadron?”

“I mean, I could invite them to join us if you want…”

“I’d like you all to myself, thank you. Well, you and this…” She pulled some kind of warm, gooey pastry out and licked the side of it where some icing had slid down. Howzer watched, squinting a bit.

“Keep that up and we’ll be implementing the rituals right now…” he rumbled, and Aurelia chuckled, careful not to throw her head back. 

“Howzer,” she chided. “I’m an innocent victim of a dangerous mission, to be treated as a delicate flower…”

“I could do that,” he murmured, taking a step closer. Despite all the heaviness and lack of clarity and tumult of their lives, her heart skipped a beat. Without breaking eye contact, she slowly drew her tongue across the icing atop the pastry. He closed his eyes as though pained, then turned away dramatically. “You’re terrible.”

“Didn’t you get used to this kind of thing on Ryloth?” she teased, and he made a face at her. 

“You know that wasn’t my–”

“Oh, I meant with your mirror.”

“You’re going to pay for that.”

“I’m counting on it.”

* * * 

The next few days passed in blessed monotony. Howzer was called to the hangar for mission planning, but none were departing in the immediate future. The other clones busied themselves with sparring, inspecting gear and weapons, and various mechanical repairs and improvements. Gregor’s cooking was a merciful reprieve from the rations bars they relied on when funds were tight. Echo would often disappear in the evenings, and in seemingly coincidental timing, they would find an influx of credits come their way soon afterward. Any time outside of Howzer’s duties was spent with Aurelia in their home. They curled up together on the couch, reminiscing, dozing, chatting idly about everything and nothing. 

Both intentionally avoided certain topics, however. Howzer’s resolve to let up on the stress of figuring everything out and his relentless pursuit of control and safety had been severely shaken by the unexpected twists and turns, and Aurelia’s nagging feeling of being a burden refused to go away. All of that could wait, however, as long as they stayed snug and cozy in each other’s arms. 

“Your hair almost looks like it did when we first met,” she mused, running her fingers through it and feeling him relax even more.

“Yeah. You like it?”

“I don’t know… Are you going to get sucker-punched by a pirate and puke on my floor, or are you going to read me poetry in a park?”

“Ugh. Don’t mention that,” Howzer grimaced. 

“The pirate or the poetry?”

“Either!” he said with a smirk. Her best attempt at elbowing him was a pathetic shift of her arm. 

“Hey, the poetry was sweet! It made me realize you weren’t just a hot piece of–”

“Ssshhh,” he interrupted, touching the tip of his nose to her lips. “I was just trying to get laid.”

A laugh burst out of her, and she rested her forehead against his chin to minimize the wave of pain that it brought on. “And how did that work out for you?”

“I mean…” He shifted his hips against her, earning one last snort. 

“Oof, that reminds me…” Aurelia began, but Howzer saw his chance and took it.

“That it’s about that time?” He wiggled his pelvis again.

“Stoppp,” she smiled. “But really… I heard some… uh… noises… on our way to the depot. On the ship. And it was just me and Gregor and Cerra.”

“Look,” he said pertly. “Sometimes a guy’s gotta do what a guy–”

“No!” she interrupted. “It wasn’t just one person.” She wiggled her eyebrows and now it was she who arched her back to grind her butt against him. He gasped.

“You slept with Gregor?” Shocked dismay. Entirely theatrical.

“Yeah, he’s just… uh… Nevermind, I can’t even joke…”

“Maybe you kept your memory but it looks like your sense of humor got knocked loose…”

“Howzer,” she giggled, pulling her head back to look at him and wincing.

“It’s gonna hurt for a while, according to Big Nurse,” he said, turning immediately serious despite his use of the nickname they’d secretly implemented for the large and in charge woman who’d taken over the clinic when Aurelia had evaded the position after Lennox left . 

“I know, it’s fine,” she pushed, hurrying to continue. “Now stop talking. I think Gregor and Cerra are… you know…” 

“Having a little bam-bam in the ham?”

An ungodly guffaw burst from her lips. 

“He’s filling her out like an application? Shooting the meat rocket into the sausage wallet?”

“What!” she cackled. “That doesn’t even make sense!”

“Take your pants off and I’ll show you how it does.”

“Gods, Howzer,” she reveled, bursting with fondness. “When do you have time to think of all of these?”

“I was on Orn Free Taa’s security detail for a while, remember? Plenty of time to think, since I was either standing outside the senate or outside a restaurant virtually all day every day.”

“And this is what you’d think about?”

“I don’t have to explain my choices to you,” he smiled, kissing her forehead. 

“You’ve definitely made some questionable ones,” she murmured.

“Well you aren’t one of them.”

Her heart swelled in her chest and they fell silent for a while, connected and content. 

.

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Suddenly she looked up, and Moss Gowden was sitting on the transport across from her, smiling sinisterly with blazing eyes. The ship lurched and tilted, and he was instantly standing, free of the restraints, approaching her with an outstretched hand. Just then, the ship hit the ground with an earsplitting crash, and everything blazed white with the explosion of impact. 

Aurelia woke up with a gasp that choked her sleepy yell, sitting bolt upright in her bunk. She was clammy with sweat and waves of nausea threatened to send her straight to the refresher. Panting with a confused panic that was taking far too long to recede, she rubbed her eyes in an attempt to clear the horrific scene from her mind. 

There was minimal improvement, so she lumbered out of her tiny dorm apartment, sliding the door open with a sleepy swipe of the hand and venturing out toward the common room. It had a basic kitchen area as well as some scattered furniture for eating, working, or lounging, and was dimly lit by the soft glow of the nighttime safety lamps. Still shaking inside, Aurelia opened the refrigerator, squinting at the offensively bright light from within as she scanned the meager options. Her stomach churned, feeling simultaneously hungry yet upset, and she closed the door empty-handed. Turning to a cupboard instead, she fished out some plain crackers, moving toward the table to find the most comfortable-looking seat. 

"Seems like an odd hour for a snack," came a gentle voice from the hallway, startling her and sending crackers flying across the floor. 

"Kriff," she muttered, dropping the roll of wrapped crackers onto the table next to her and bending down to pick up her mess. "You scared me, Lennox. What are you doing out here?"

"I could ask you the same thing," Lennox answered, slowly moving forward into more light. He was a tall, lanky human with a curly mop of brown hair and a boyish face that gave him an air of softness and approachability. It was well-suited for his work as a medical droid programmer and medic, and he had an even-tempered, compassionate way with patients and friends alike. His bright hazel eyes framed a rounded nose and his high cheekbones were often curved into a smile. He had an edge, at times, with demanding or uncooperative patients, but was always able to lay down the law with grace and diplomacy, something Aurelia had always admired. 

"Can't sleep. Nightmares. And I feel sick," Aurelia grumped, picking up the last of the crackers and sliding into a chair at a small dining table. 

"Still with the nightmares?" Lennox said, frowning and taking a seat next to her. He reached for a cracker, studying her with concern. "It's been a couple months now... I mean, I guess that's not very long, but I was hoping they'd fade once you got settled... Anything I can do to help?"

"I don't know what to do anymore," came the resigned reply as she nibbled another cracker.

"Hey," he said in mock sternness, giving her hand a light smack as it stretched across the table toward the crackers, startling her a bit. She looked up quickly in indignation, though it dissipated as she saw his playful smile. "That's not the fighting spirit. You've got what... five months or so left? You're strong. You're smart. You were made for this. You can do it."

"I appreciate it," she said honestly, "But this is not how I ever expected things to go. I feel like I'm flying blind." She munched on the cracker, tired of its plain, salty taste that seemed to be the only thing she could stomach these days. With all the advanced medicine and technology, she was disappointed that there was not yet any cure for morning sickness and other early pregnancy woes. It had been weeks of exhaustion and nausea, not to mention the overall moodiness that wasn't helped by the trauma of all that she'd recently been through. 

Some of the volunteers at the clinic had taken her under their wings, providing comfort and polite friendship that she hadn't experienced in years. Lennox had also been exceedingly helpful, working by her side as frequently as possible and often bringing small treats and gifts of encouragement. It had started with a puffy rice snack that she'd discovered she loved, and after an offhanded comment of her affinity for it during a procedure one day, she'd found an entire bucket of them outside her dorm room. A few weeks later, a humorous little bouquet was tucked into her cubby at the medical clinic, and it made her chuckle, as it was entirely made out of medical supplies -- inflated rubber gloves, sterile masks, IV tubes, and other such nonsense. She marveled at the creativity it took to create it, and it indeed did lift her spirits. Despite the despondency of her situation, Aurelia was deeply grateful for the small community she'd found and didn't know what she would have done without them. 

"We're all flying blind, really," Lennox offered after a moment. "We may think we know what we're doing or where we're going, but life often has a different plan. So we take it one step at a time, just like you're doing." He nodded, confidently supporting his own words. "Do you want something to help you sleep?" 

"No... It just makes me dream more." 

"Ah."

"But thank you," she said earnestly, lifting her eyes to his and giving his hand a friendly pat. "I really appreciate all that you and the others have been doing for me since I got here."

"Nothing any hero wouldn't do," he said with a small salute. "But in all seriousness, I don't know how that dude on Ryloth just ditched you like that."

Pain sang through Aurelia's heart at the thought of it. She hadn't shared much at all about her past, except that she had worked in the medical clinic in Lessu and had become pregnant by a local there who had since been removed from the picture. She'd made it clear that it wasn't a topic she wished to discuss, and they had respected her boundaries. 

"He didn't ditch me, Lennox. I told you... He didn't have a choice."

"Hmm," he rumbled disapprovingly, "Even so... You'd think he'd have found a way to send word, or find you, or anything by now. I would have died trying. Especially knowing you were pregnant!"

"He didn't know," Aurelia said, feeling choked up all of a sudden. "I didn't get to tell him. Can we please not talk about this? You know it's not..." She sniffed, clamping her mouth shut to withhold sudden grief. Lennox tilted his head, eyebrows arched in compassion, and lowered his head slightly. 

"I'm sorry, you're right. I'm an idiot. Besides... You're doing just fine, right?" he said, an attempt at optimism that fell somewhat flat. 

"One step at a time," she echoed quietly, wrapping up the rest of the crackers. "I'm gonna try to get some sleep. Were you just lurking out here or what?" 

"I've developed a habit of midnight snacking," Lennox admitted with a shrug as they both rose from their seats. "I'll put those away for you if you'd like," he offered, holding a hand out for the crackers, which Aurelia gladly surrendered. 

"Thanks, Len," her soft voice conveyed her gratitude for more than just the cracker clean-up, and he felt a pang in his chest as she turned away to the hall. 

"We've got a full workup coming in," the nurse said, flipping pages on her clipboard. "Sounds like he was just rescued from some remote mountain. He's been shot, but they say he's alright, although there's a note on here to check his mental faculties. Something about an explosion, head injury... Whoever wrote this made a complete mess of it."

"Not much of the standard protocols left, it seems," Lennox said, shrugging dismissively. "Let's get him in here. Aurelia, can you please prep the diagnostic bed?"

"On it, Doc," came the reply, as Aurelia bumped a nearby cart with her mildly protruding belly. It had been another month full of the rhythm of work, rest, and the ever-changing spectrum of pregnancy quirks. Thankfully, the lingering first trimester symptoms had mercifully subsided. Her energy had returned, including an extra spark that she hadn't anticipated, and her baby bump had finally started to show. It was still fairly small, but she frequently found herself rubbing it with fondness. In reality, it wasn’t a dreamy situation at all, but in some deluded way it was almost an illusion of some happy future to be enjoyed.

"I told you! I'm fine!" A voice came from the hall, slightly louder than usual, as a flustered nurse ushered in a clone. He looked diminutive, as they all did without their armor, and his unique appearance was even further accentuated by his strikingly sharp features. His cheeks seemed to be more angular than most and his expressive eyebrows were working overtime to convey his displeasure. Aurelia smirked at the bravado, but the lighthearted observation was immediately replaced by a stabbing pain as her eyes rose to his hair: he had a faded undercut that reminded her of Howzer, though instead of being thick and tousled on top, it was smooth and laid flat against his skull. 

"You alright?" Lennox asked, appearing at her side. He seemed to have a sixth sense when it came to her, and she could never quite decide if it was helpful or annoying. 

"Yeah, sorry. Just distracted," she flubbed, turning away to continue entering the protocol on the diagnostic bed. 

"Thank you, nurse," Lennox said kindly, turning to face the clone and rising to his full height, standing a good few inches over the head of the newcomer. "Alright, CC-5576 is it?"

"That's my number, sir, but Gregor is my name!" came the answer, and Aurelia tilted her head to inspect him again. He was a standard clone, but his voice had a unique lilt to it that caught her attention. It was hard to describe -- somehow slightly higher in pitch than the others, and as he continued talking, she noticed a periodic squeak on various syllables. She punched in an additional command on the screen for a more thorough vocal cord inspection in addition to the brain scan. 

"Alright, Gregor," Lennox continued evenly. "I understand it's a bother, but we'd like to make sure you're all good to go, then we'll get you back out there in no time. Maybe we can see if we can modify the machine to give you some superpowers while you're in there, eh?" He had a variety of approaches with patients, attempting a variety of humor, discipline, paternal sternness, and gentleness until he found the particular combination that worked for each clone. Aurelia was amazed at his ability to connect with such a wide array of personalities, and she had learned quite a bit in this area during the last four months of working with him. 

"Oh!" Gregor said, "Well now you're talking!" He followed it with a sudden giggle that brought a smile to Aurelia's face without her permission. That was a new one. 

"All you have to do is lie still for a while and we'll do the rest from here, alright Captain?" Lennox said, noting the title from the clipboard, which seemed to go a long way in increasing the clone's respect for him and led to subsequent cooperation. With a grin, Gregor hopped onto the diagnostic bed with a bit of a wince, moving a hand to his chest where his blaster wounds had been stabilized on the journey to Coruscant. "We'll take care of those as well," Lennox assured him as he flattened himself on the gurney, which slowly slid into a large plastoid tube that whirred to life as the captain disappeared within. 

"Do you know him?" Lennox asked Aurelia as they watched the data screen populate with various readings. 

"Him? No, why?"

"You just had a funny look when you saw him."

"Ah," she said, shrugging dismissively, "My face looks funny sometimes, I guess."

"Why do you keep pushing us all away?" Lennox asked gently, reaching out as if to place a hand on her shoulder but rethinking it at the last minute, moving it quickly to the side to grab a tissue analyzer that he didn't really need. "Wouldn't it be nice to have someone to comfort you? To share in your thoughts, both the good and the bad? There are wonderful people here, who truly care..." he drifted off for a minute, swallowing hard. "I mean, I'm here for you, but even if you don't want to confide in me, that's fine... I just know the value of having someone that feels like... I don't know... a counterpart of sorts. You know? You don't have to do it all alone." 

There was a wistful tone to his voice, and Aurelia studied his face intently with a sudden realization that perhaps his friendliness toward her had evolved into more than just decency. A flurry of emotions swirled around at once: self-criticism for not having seen it before, immediate guilt at the thought of letting anyone in other than Howzer, and a pitiful yearning for that kind of companionship that she'd been in complete denial about. 

"I have that..." she attempted, voice falling flat. 

Lennox remained silent for a moment, eyes roving the ground as though it would give him guidance. When he looked back up at her, he put forth a small smile and a brisk nod as he returned the tissue analyzer to the counter. "Alright," he said, though he didn't look convinced. He always wanted to respect her boundaries, though it was his very nature to try to help anyone in any kind of pain. But he also realized that it couldn't be forced... All lessons he'd learned over years of both personal and professional experience. "Well, if you ever need a shoulder to cry on, I'm here, and I know others are too. Alright?"

"Alright," Aurelia answered, meeting his gaze. "I appreciate it, Len. Really, I do... I'll keep it in mind."

"Good girl," he said cheerfully, reaching up to pinch the bottom of her chin playfully, but Aurelia flinched and backed up quickly, arms blindly swatting at him as he reeled in surprise.

"Whoa!" Lennox said, putting both hands up, "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to be out of line...? I apologize..." He watched her closely, confused by her immediate reactivity and the unequivocal look of disgust on her face. He thought they'd reached a comfortable level of closeness and friendship, and he was surprised at the hurt he felt in response to the abhorrence on her face.

"Sorry," Aurelia breathed, though she didn't know why she was apologizing. As she processed it all, and waves of the past washed over her, she shook her head. "It's not you. I just... Please don't ever call me 'good girl', okay?"

"Of course," Lennox said gently, lowering his hands at a snail's pace. 

"I had a boss, back on Ryloth," Aurelia proceeded, the words flying out as though they needed to escape. "He was a slimy, gross, smooth talker who worked for the Empire. I was his assistant, but I was basically supposed to do whatever he wanted. Or so he thought...His name was Moss Gowden..." She shuddered at the thoughts, face contorted. "He was always hitting on me, always whispering nasty stuff... And he used to say 'good girl' under his breath whenever I answered his requests. It made my skin crawl."

The indignation and anger were plain on Lennox's face as he listened, and he clenched his fists at his sides for a second before releasing them and letting out a slow breath. "That must have been awful," he commiserated, leaving space for her to share more if she wished, hoping that she would... He felt as though he were diffusing a bomb -- one wrong move and things would never be the same. And he desperately wanted to get it right. 

"It was," Aurelia conceded. "I kept refusing him, trying to keep it professional... So one night he put spice in my food and waited until I could barely stand, then he tried to take advantage of me." Tears swelled in her eyes, and she looked up at the ceiling to try to hold them back. "He probably would have, too, if not for..." she faltered, lost in the splintered memory of Howzer's rescue. Lennox knew better than to inquire any further, and instead opened his arms slightly to the sides in a nonverbal invitation for comfort and closeness. 

Swallowing the lump in her throat, Aurelia gave in. It had felt like ages since she'd been held, and she'd felt so alone, as though she'd been ripped in half. In that moment, she felt like a child, lost and scared, longing for someone to simply take care of her when she'd been working so hard to take care of herself. She stepped forward, allowing Lennox to wrap her in a gentle hug, her own arms hanging awkwardly at her sides. He was significantly taller than her, and the small indent where his ribcage split apart made a perfect place for her to hide her face. 

Tears stole silently down her cheeks, wetting the front of his white uniform, and he lifted a hand to peaceably stroke the top of her head where it lay against the ache in his chest. He didn't know how he'd come to be so fond of her, but her dry wit and occasionally complex discussions had piqued his interest within the first few weeks of her arrival. He sympathized for her even though she didn't want him to, and he felt a strong desire to lighten her burdens -- she carried so much and yet kept everyone at an arm's length even within the congenial friendships she enjoyed. Her heart seemed to be set on another, even though there didn’t seem to be much hope of his return. How someone could hold that kind of affection alongside a stark sense of realism was beyond him, but it only increased his fascination. 

"If not for what?" came a squeaky voice from inside the diagnostic bed. Aurelia sprang back, surprised by the unexpected third party. 

"I thought they couldn't hear anything in there!" she hissed, wiping her eyes quickly. 

"They usually can't," Lennox grumbled, leaning down to speak loudly into the tube. "You have to stay still please, Captain. Even speaking could cause it to miss some of the micro details. Plus... this conversation is not for you, my friend." There was a slight edge of correction to his voice, though it remained affable overall. 

"Sorry!" was the singsong reply. "Just getting bored in here!"

Aurelia couldn't help but smile. The interruption was a welcome one, if she was honest. The consolation of Lennox's embrace had made her feel as ashamed as she was soothed. She appreciated the support, but it still felt wrong. She closed her eyes for a moment, envisioning the lazy evenings she'd spent wrapped up with Howzer on the couch, listening to his heartbeat and his husky voice, enveloped in perfect contentment and comfort. It felt like a lifetime ago, and the bittersweet reminiscence gave her a steadying sense of focus. She'd do everything she could to find him... whether he was dead or alive. The last thought made her stomach turn, and she opened her eyes, shaking her head briskly as if to chase the thoughts away. 

"It's about finished anyway," she said, distracting herself with the data panel. At a nod from Lennox, she tapped the screen and the machine's loud whirring slowed to a quiet buzz as the gurney slid out slowly, freeing Captain Gregor from the tube. He sat up, rubbing the back of his head and looking sheepishly back and forth between them.

"Sorry if I was eavesdropping," he said. "I didn't have much else to do..."

"It's alright," Aurelia answered. "I shouldn't be discussing that kind of stuff at work anyway."

Lennox tilted his head as if to say something, but he was cut off by an oblivious Gregor, "Eh, it's as good a place as any. Besides, he seems like a good one." He jabbed a thumb toward Lennox, who had apparently earned his complete approval in the short time they'd been acquainted.

"Thank you, Captain," Lennox said, flustered. "If we could get back to matters at hand, however..." He skimmed the datapad, tapping various points to enlarge the detail. "The blaster wound is healing well, and we'll cover it with a fresh bacta patch on your way out. That should finish the job. It says in your file that you survived an explosion on Abafar..."

"Karking right I did!" 

"Yes..." Lennox proceeded, smirking fondly at the enthusiasm. "Well, the lasting effects seem to be fairly minimal. Your motor skills are virtually uninhibited, and your brain function is surprisingly good, considering the trauma it received. I am seeing some damage, however, in the thalamus, as well as the hippocampal formations in your temporal lobe... There are also some rather permanent-looking lesions on the dorsal laryngeal motor cortex... "

"Whoa there, heh, can I get that in Basic, please?" Gregor lilted, looking to Aurelia for translation, who found his unfettered charisma a welcome respite from her troubling thoughts. 

"These areas in your brain are connected to memory, so you may suffer bouts of amnesia or mood swings," she began, interrupted once again. 

"I barely knew who I was before the explosion!" the commando interjected. "Some little bug man and his droid squad filled me in. So no surprise there!"

"You will likely have similar periods in the future, so finding a good support system and creating structures to remind yourself of things when it does happen would be a wise precaution," Aurelia suggested. "And the lesions are on the part of your brain that controls various elements of your vocal cords, including the pitch and cadence of your speech."

"Well noooo kidding..." Gregor marveled in mock surprise. "So I'm Captain Squeak from now on then, eh?" he chuckled as though it were an involuntary reaction. "Ah well. And what about my superpowers?"

Lennox smiled, patting the clone on the shoulder and inviting him to stand. "Your superpower seems to be that you are as difficult to kill as a spider-roach, my friend. You'll be a great asset to Captain Rex's team, should you choose to pursue that option."

"I'll take that as a compliment?" Gregor said, rubbing the back of his neck thoughtfully as he shifted his weight from one foot to another. A disembodied voice came from the small comlink near the door -- the nurse informing the doctor of his attention required in another room. 

"Absolutely," Lennox answered, "Aurelia will get your chest mended with a new bacta patch, and you'll be on your way." He gave an appreciative wave as he exited, leaving the two of them staring at each other. 

"Would you prefer to stand?" Aurelia asked, tearing open a fresh patch and removing the protective strips from its adhesive. 

"Yes ma'am!" Gregor chirped, puffing out his chest with a smile. 

"We need to remove the top of your blacks, please."

"Ohhh, getting frisky now, are we?" His teasing was clearly harmless, and it brought Aurelia a fond memory of Pivot's innocuous advances at 79s. She found a genuine smile on her face once again; this clone was an undeniable ray of sunshine in seemingly any situation, and she was honestly grateful for it. "Juuust kidding," he giggled as he pulled his turtleneck over his head, revealing a surprisingly gnarly chest wound that was covered with fairly shoddy work. The scorched flesh peeked out from around the edges of the wrinkled and faded bacta patch, and Gregor's grin turned into more of a grimace as she removed it as tenderly as she could. 

"Sorry," she murmured, focusing intently on her work.

"You don't have to take it out on me," he muttered in return, hands gripping the edges of the diagnostic bed behind him. The patch was quickly freed from its enmeshment with his skin and hair, and Aurelia moved quickly to apply a soothing bacta spray, earning a deep sigh of relief from the commando. Her nurturing spirit warmed at the sight, and she felt a new sense of affirmation herself, inexplicably, some random inkling that perhaps things were going to be alright.

"By the way," Gregor said, bringing her awareness back to the present, "You should take it easy on that doc. He seems like an upstanding guy, and obviously cares a lot about you. Hard to come by good people these days, you know?" He waggled his eyebrows so suggestively that Aurelia's surprise was overshadowed by the levity of his expression, and she shook her head with a smile, fitting the fresh, large bacta patch across the side of his chest. 

"You're a fun one, Gregor."

.

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She’d arrived right on time, entering her office to find him setting up a workstation. He’d already laid out a small assortment of breakfast pastries and a full self-serve caf station on a nearby table, and she had to admit that it was a good way to start the day. Well, considering the circumstances. He laid out the task: to synthesize the data from a number of mining operations across the galaxy and create some sort of quantitative comparison that included virtually every variable one might think of – staffing, local relations, atmosphere, costs, expenses, risks, longevity, hyperspace access, Imperial station proximity, cargo lane connectivity, systemic alliances, worker training needs, security requirements, and an all-encompassing “et cetera” category. It felt like trying to objectively compare meilooruns and joganfruit. 

But Gowden had made it clear that a lot rested on this particular endeavor, so she was determined to get it done as quickly, er, as thoroughly and excellently as possible. She’d gone through the data from all of the sites and had compiled any metrics they’d been utilizing. Then, hours later, it was time to populate all of those metrics with as much equivalency as possible. Considering the complete lack of uniformity in the data records, it was looking like a near impossible task. 

She tried to pass the time by daydreaming, since it was fairly mindless work when it was all she’d done for the last few years, but the ever-helpful Moss was interjecting far too often with questions and suggestions that set her back significantly each time. It was growing more difficult to maintain her optimistic and cooperative mask, and she found herself checking her comm more frequently, hoping that someone, anyone, might provide a means of reprieve, if not total escape. Mercifully, Gowden decided it was time for a lunch break.

“Gonna need a walk with this meal,” he sighed, standing and stretching luxuriously as though he’d been laboring away for the last number of hours instead of sitting around and talking at her. “I’d say a huge burger sounds good, but then I’d need a nap,” he laughed. “So perhaps a refreshing salad and some skewers, I think. Where shall we go?” 

“Umm,” she began, glancing quickly at the comm in her hand as it vibrated abruptly. “Oh!” The words on the screen were a gift from heaven above. “I actually promised I’d have lunch with a friend. It’s her birthday, and since I won’t be able to make it to her dinner tonight…”

“Ahh. How devoted of you, to both your job and to your friend,” he observed. His tone was unreadable. “Alright, well, I’ll see you back in no more than an hour?”

“Yes sir!”

She tried not to walk with too much of a bounce in her step as she headed to the lifts. Sheeyna had been trying to apologize, and although she was doing a terrible job of it, her contrite offer of lunch was the perfect relief from the gauntlet of data entry and one-sided conversation. The two of them strolled the food market, studying all of the options before making their selections and finding a table nearby. Gowden happened to pass by, skewers in hand, and offered a smile and a salute as he continued on. 

“What, is he following you?” Sheeyna said conspiratorially, watching his slicked-back hair disappear around the corner. 

“He wanted me to go to lunch with him… Maybe he wanted to make sure I wasn’t lying about having other plans,” Aurelia muttered, feeling a bit icky at the thought. “He’s been weird lately, like… way less obnoxious and pervy, but like… more interested? If that makes sense? Like very complimentary and cordial but offering food or whatnot as extra time together? I don’t know what he’s trying to do. He said some of the other officers at the Imperial summit had really honed in their relationships with their secretaries so they worked together super efficiently…”

“Ew,” Sheeyna laughed, tossing a lekku over her shoulder. “That means they’re packing each other’s datacards, you know what I mean?”

“The chair knows what you mean, Sheeyna,” Aurelia groaned, lolling her head to the side. “So he’s just changed his approach? From all the innuendos to–”

“Trying to get innyurendo.”

“You kriffing–”

“Can I get you ladies anything else?” the server asked cordially, having appeared out of nowhere. 

“Yes!” Sheeyna said brightly, flashing her most prize-winning smile. “I need a box, and she needs a boyfriend, real or fake, to get her boss off her back.”

“I’ll get you a box,” came the emotionless response.

“Damn,” Aurelia chuckled. “Sounds like he’s having as good a day as I am.” 

“Or he just has no sense of humor,” Sheeyna sniffed. 

The walk through her office lobby on her way toward the lifts felt like agony, with each passing step carrying Aurelia toward hours upon hours of mind-numbing toil. She wished she’d taken Sheeyna up on the offer of a daytime cocktail.., and that she had gotten about five extras strapped to her legs and connected to a surreptitious straw that ran up to her mouth through her clothes. Lost in thought about the money making potential of her ingenious new idea, she didn’t notice the presence behind her as the lift doors whooshed open. It was only when she stepped in and turned to press the button that she saw who it was. 

“Wha– I mean, hi,” she said, bafflement easing into brightness.

“Ma’am,” Howzer said, pivoting to face the lift doors as they closed. 

“What are you doing here?” She returned to her original quandary since he didn’t seem chatty. 

“I have a very important report that I needed to deliver,” he answered, pulling his helmet off and shaking his hair out of his face as the lift began to move. He smiled now, much more like himself. “Sorry – your receptionist glares daggers at me for some reason and I don’t want to give her any ammunition.”

“She probably just has the hots for you,” Aurelia said with a straight face. He snorted, a glimmer in his eyes as he looked at her fondly. 

“It truly is the scourge of the galaxy. Maybe they’ll find a cure someday.”

“Have you tried puking on the floor?”

That one earned a full guffaw, and she was positively beaming at his authentic reaction. She opened her mouth for another zinger, but at that very moment, the lights flickered and went out. The lift jerked to a halt, and the sudden silence was broken only by a quiet hum as the backup system turned on some pathetically small lights along the edges of the walls. But there was still no movement. They glanced at each other questioningly, Howzer offering a shrug as he fruitlessly tapped a few buttons, then Aurelia startled at the robotic voice that squawked through a speaker above them. 

Thilyft stuberking; pustnn bye.

Aurelia stared, first at the speaker, then at Howzer. 

The announcement repeated: Thilyft stuberking; pustnn bye.

“What??” she finally asked, brows tightly furrowed. 

“I know…” Howzer sighed, mistaking her query for outrage. “You’d think in this sector of town–”

“No, what did it say? I couldn’t understand a word!” She felt a little self-conscious now, as he’d apparently had no trouble hearing the message. 

“Ohhh – ‘the lift stopped working, please stand by’. Years of talking through helmets will give you an ear…”

(Author's Note - credit to @probadbatch for having them get stuck in the elevator) 😏

But Aurelia didn’t hear a word he said after that, as she was snapped back instantly to her dream, where he’d ushered her into a lift with urgency, only to reveal that it had ‘stopped working’… before he’d… they’d… 

“Holy kriff,” she breathed, dizzy beneath the incomprehensible way that her brain was currently dumping all of the emotions from the dream into the present. It was the weirdest sense of deja vu that she’d ever had, and she felt simultaneously exhilarated and panicked. 

“I mean, it’s not like it’s gonna fall. These things have manual pulley systems in addition to the maglev–”

“No, it’s not that…” she burst out, clenching her eyes together for a second before shaking it off. Or trying to.  

“You good?”

“Yeah… I just… Uh…”

“Scared?” His tone had a hint of teasing to it.

“No!” she huffed indignantly, earning a chortle from him, and he began pressing all of the buttons with more theatrical fervor. 

“Don’t worry, ma’am, we’ll get you out of here.” He quickly pulled on his helmet and tapped the earpiece with a finger. “Squadpieces, this is Captain Rigid. I’m gonna need some backup. We’ve got a broken lift in the B-44 sector of the main city.” He paused, and she couldn’t tell if he was actually hearing anything back or if the whole thing was a joke. “I don’t care if you’re on duty. This is more important than the protection of the refinery and your sworn duties to this planet and the Empire. There’s a lady here who needs to get to her lunch!”

Aurelia laughed at that, unable to restrain herself, “Actually I just had lunch. I have to get back to–”

“Disregard that, she just had lunch. Emergency cancelled. Er, drill cancelled. This was a drill and you all passed.”

“There wasn’t anyone there, was there?” she giggled, but he suddenly held up a hand, waited for a moment, then pressed with his finger again. 

“CC-2420, status is the same here. Rendezvous delay due to faulty lift; ETA TBD. Proceed with protocol.”

“Okay, show off. I get that you have a fancy comm system and all your special code words–”

He chuckled, pulling the helmet off again. “No, that time was real. Some lines have been deactivated in multiple parts of the city, so there are a few areas without power at the moment. That was the nearby patrol checking in.”

“Ah, so it’s not everywhere… just here…” she muttered, her dream fighting reality for attention. 

“Yeah, sorry. Guess you’re stuck with me,” he said with a shrug, dropping his helmet on the floor at his feet before sinking down to sit with his back against the wall, forearms resting on his knees in front of him. 

“Make yourself at home, why don’t you…” 

“Who knows how long it’ll be. This has happened before. You should know – you’ve been here long enough, no?”

“I’ve heard of it, but it never affected our actual offices, just the lobby and lifts, so I never even noticed or knew until I heard about it later.”

“Fancy fancy,” he teased. She stared at the buttons, then the wall, then her feet. Her brain was still attempting to reconcile two very different scenarios featuring the same setting and characters. “Hey,” his voice broke through, “I’m kidding. You gonna sit or just tower over me the whole time?”

Aurelia glanced down at him, struck by the new angle and mildly pleased at being above him for once. “Well, this is a nice change of view, I have to admit.”

“Alright, Reli, enjoy it while you can,” he snickered. 

The minutes ticked by, and she shifted her weight from foot to foot as they waited in silence as though she didn’t know what to do with herself. Truth be told, she didn’t. She felt as though she’d short-circuited. 

“Did I do something?” Howzer asked after the lengthy pause. 

“What? No!” she answered immediately. “No, sorry. I just… had other stuff on my mind.”

“Mmm. You just seem really distant; I didn’t know if our chat at your place made you feel… weird… or something.”

“No,” she repeated. “That was… really nice.” Her voice softened, and she finally resigned to sit opposite him on the floor. The durasteel was cold against her back, and she stretched her legs out flat. She was grateful she’d worn loose slacks to work that day. 

“I agree.”

More silence. 

“Okay,” he began. “If you were a piece of clothing, what would you be?”

Amusement accompanied her glance at him, and she pondered for a moment before answering. “A gray hoodie.”

“Interesting. Why?”

“Because they’re simple, comfortable, no-fuss, and get the job done.”

“And that’s how you see yourself?”

“I guess.”

“Hmm.”

“What does that mean?” she challenged, tilting her head at him playfully. 

“I don’t know, I think your perspective is a little off.”

“How so?”

“I’d say you’re more like a poncho.”

She laughed. “A poncho? Do explain.”

“Might seem plain at first – since you’re so set on that aspect – but it hides a wealth of wonders underneath.” The sparkle in his eyes made her smile grow wider. 

“Got a thing for ponchos, eh?” she prodded, meaning his fascination with whatever was beneath them. 

“I guess I do,” he concluded, and suddenly his words were rife with meaning that she finally caught. 

“Oh.”

“Very profound.”

She laughed again, truly unsure of how to respond. “Okay, well what kind of clothing would you be?”

“A black leather jacket with hidden knives in it.”

“Oh lord. Because it’s so dark and edgy?” She couldn’t keep a straight face. 

“Because it’s smooth, versatile, looks good, and can kill you.”

“Naturally,” she giggled. Flashes of his old spunk within his new, more mature character were quite delightful. 

“Would you agree?” he prompted, giving her a pompous look.

“Hmm,” she mused. There was something witty to say… there had to be… She racked her brain, running through every clothing and accessory she could think of, but still came up with nothing. “I guess, but I think there’s something better out there. I just don’t know what it is.” She sighed, disappointed in her lack of wit.

“I trust that you’ll spend a significant amount of time agonizing over it.”

She raised her hands, resigned to her fate. He nodded approvingly. 

“Alright, what’s the most embarrassing thing you’ve ever seen someone else do?” he continued. 

And on it went. They lost track of time, swapping stories and silly questions, each feeling the comfort of familiarity as well as the intrigue of discovery. The topics ranged from trivial to profound, preferential to philosophical, and eventually dwindled down to contented silence. Howzer let out a satisfied sigh, stretching his legs out toward hers, and folded his hands in his lap as he rested his head back against the wall. 

“What do you think would have happened if things had gone differently between us?” he asked, tapping his foot sideways against hers from across the floor. His tone was lighthearted and warm, and their extensive conversation had thoroughly disarmed them both. 

“Well, you would still have been stationed here,” she began.

“And you would have abandoned everything to have followed me, uprooting your entire life in the pursuit of true love.” 

“Mmm,” she assented, doing her best to tinge it with sarcasm despite her passionate dream rearing its persistent head once again. “Especially with that generous spouse stipend from the GAR, right?”

“Spouse? Ohhh, you wanted to marry me?” He feigned shock. 

“Just for your money,” she deadpanned, and he snorted gleefully. After a beat, another silence settled between them.

“Do you wish things had gone differently?” he asked, more vulnerable now. She was surprised at his line of questioning. 

“I mean… It would have been nice to not have felt like I was so undesirable that you were mortified to be seen with me,” she confessed, lowering her eyes to her feet. He opened his mouth to respond, but she continued. “But you still would have been shipped off, so I’d have been left either way, probably with the same skepticism that it was just a fun little short-lived dream. I might still be bartending at 79s though, instead of doing mindless data work for a boss with questionable intentions toward me.”

“Hey,” he prompted, knocking his foot gently against hers again. “Look at me,” he invited, when her gaze remained downcast. She acquiesced and was moved by the sincerity on his face. “You weren’t undesirable. I was an idiot. You may not believe me, but I’ll tell you as many times as you need to hear it. My scruffy head was shoved so far up my ass–”

The lights brightened suddenly as the lift sprang back to life, buttons flashing in a startup sequence but no movement occurring just yet. They both scrambled to their feet, and only then did it occur to Aurelia to check her comm, lost as she had been in their camaraderie. 

“Kriff!” she choked, tapping through message after message. “It’s been three hours?! This sucks bantha testicles. My boss has been comming me like crazy, and each one gets more and more pissed.”

“We’ll come back to that choice of words later,” Howzer chuckled. “In the meantime, doesn’t he know what happened?”

“I guess not,” she grimaced. “Hopefully it’ll pacify him.”

“I mean, it’s not like you did anything wrong…” he said defensively.

“No, but he gets fussy about random things,” she explained. “You should probably save the report for later.”

“Hmm,” he grumbled, mouth set in a straight line as he seemed to be lost in thought. He began to speak, but was immediately interrupted.

“Fnkshin allityrs torrd. Come and sing movement.”

“Functionality restored,” Howzer said, before she could ask. She chuckled as the lift jerked back into motion.

“I got the second part at least!”

“And we are all very proud of you.”

“Alright, alright,” she snickered, throwing her comm into her bag with a touch of vehemence before slinging it over her shoulder. “I’m gonna be here all night,” she lamented.

“I’m sorry,” he said honestly. “Didn’t he say something about an extra day off at least?”

“Yeah… I’m gonna need it to recover from the torture of monotony.” 

“Well…” he began, hesitant and unsure all of a sudden. He tucked his helmet under one arm, rubbing the back of his neck with his other hand, and took a deep breath to clear his throat. The lift’s motors began to whirr as it slowly eased back into its upward motion.

“Once more into the fray…” Aurelia chuckled, only then noticing his awkwardness. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” he smiled, lifting his chin with more confidence now as he regarded her with clarity. “Would you have dinner with me?” He looked as though his own words had surprised him.

“Heck yes,” she answered after her own moment of shock. Did he really see her that way? She hadn’t just been imagining it? Her mind was reeling with everything all at once – where to go, what to wear, what to talk about, what their relationship was, where it was going, what it all meant… She almost laughed at her own internal chaos as she brought herself back to the present just in time to see his handsome face beaming at her response. 

“Excellent. It’s a date.”

Her heart thrilled. “When?”

“Tomorrow?” He looked hopeful. 

“That would be the most amazing light at the end of the tunnel,” she grinned. 

“I’m glad.” He stood up a bit straighter, gave her one lingering look, then bowed his head in farewell as the lift doors opened at her floor. 

* * * 

The rest of the night was an odd mix of excitement and tedium, and Aurelia was having a supremely difficult time keeping any semblance of focus on the data in front of her. Moss had been understandably peeved, having accomplished “very little” in her absence, and when she explained what had happened, bypassing any mention of Howzer’s presence, he seemed only somewhat pacified. They worked for hours, making decent progress, but as it neared bedtime, they had to resign themselves to the fact that they weren’t going to be able to finish. 

“I guess we’ll continue tomorrow,” he said as they headed for the lift. She was wrestling with whether or not to mention the promised day off when he spared her the stress. “Let’s aim for a half day. Sound good?”

”Alright,” she sighed, trying to sound cooperative instead of discouraged.

”I’ll try to make it worth your while,” he offered, the ambiguity having an unsettling effect. “Coming?” he asked, holding the lift door open. 

“I’m going to take the stairs,” Aurelia chuckled. “Nothing personal, I just don’t want to spend another three hours in the lift. I’ve got trust issues.” She tried to keep the mood light. 

“Ah. Good idea. I’ll join you.” 

Lovely.

.

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When Howzer trudged in, she was thoroughly primped up, beyond her usual low-maintenance style. He smiled, dropping his helmet and scooping her up onto the kitchen counter, pushing a single curl back behind her ear and giving her a tender, lingering kiss that sent shivers down her spine. He pulled back, leaning his forehead against hers, and muttered something in Twi'leki. 

"What was that?" she asked with a giggle.

"Eh... it's something I've heard the locals say. Mostly Cham, to Eleni, when he thinks nobody is listening," Howzer murmured quietly. 

"But what does it mean?" 

"I... don't exactly know..." he admitted, large eyes drifting off to the side. Aurelia laughed brightly, feeling her heart swell in her chest at the endless delight that could be found in a single person. 

"Well mubasa fashasha beneto leekaka to you too," she babbled, and his rumbling laugh was disproportionately rewarding as he wrapped her in a hug. When he pulled away, she could resist no longer, "Now where are we going?"

A glint appeared in his eye, and he waggled his eyebrows at her, "All I can tell you is that you can't wear that." 

One hour and a disappointing amount of clothing later, Aurelia found herself comfortably bundled up, standing next to Howzer at the edge of a large lake. From seemingly nowhere, he pulled out a heavy-looking wooden canoe that rattled to a halt at the edge of the water. He pushed it in a few steps, retrieving an oar from within it, then beckoned for her to get in. This was definitely not what she had expected, but the full moon bathed everything in an otherworldly glow that made the landscape look surreal. She climbed into the canoe carefully, feeling wobbly as it tipped back and forth a little bit, but as it glided onto the lake, she nestled into Howzer, sitting behind her, calmly paddling them out.

The night was quiet, punctuated only by the gentle chirps of a few evening creatures and the quiet lapping of the water on the side of the canoe. The steady dipping of the paddle was threatening to lull Aurelia to sleep, and as they drew near the center of the lake and Howzer tucked the oar in next to them, she curled up between his legs and leaned back against his chest. He removed his helmet, wrapped his arms around her shoulders, and leaned back slightly to allow them both to recline and gaze at the sky. 

"Okay, this was worth putting all these clothes on," she teased quietly, again enjoying his little chuckle in response. 

"You're more than welcome to take them off if they bother you in the slightest," Howzer answered, laughing more loudly as she jabbed an elbow into his chest plate. The canoe rocked with the movement, and she gripped the sides automatically. "It's okay," he reassured, tightening his arms around her slightly, and she relaxed into his embrace. The water rippled out from the center, and Aurelia sat up to marvel at the fragmented reflection of the moon on its surface, bobbing along with the motion from the boat. 

They sat in silence, listening to each other's heartbeat and the quiet sounds of the environment. Somehow, even in this idyllic setting, Aurelia found herself worrying about the future. Clone troopers were entirely at the Empire's whims. What kind of life had she signed up for? The lack of security felt like a crevasse in the earth opening up beneath her, and the concerns threatened to overwhelm her. She turned to be able to see his face, which was tipped up toward the stars above. He lowered his eyes to hers, and the depth of his gaze struck a chord deep within her, further solidified by his small half-smile at her attention. She took a deep breath, reaching a hand up to gently caress his scarred cheek. 

The boat tipped suddenly, rocking violently as though it had been hit by something. The tender moment was broken by a startled gasp from Aurelia, and Howzer immediately pulled his helmet on, sitting up behind her and picking up the oar. The water glistened with movement, but the canoe slowly steadied. Still feeling unsteady, Howzer began paddling toward the shore. 

"Are there creatures in this lake?" Aurelia asked, seeing no other possible explanation. 

"It's a local fishing lake," he answered, head swiveling back and forth with alert attention. "So nothing big. I'm thinking a fish might have just lost its way, but that was a pretty big bump for the kind of fish that are here..." He drifted off uneasily, paddling steadily toward the shore, which was drawing closer. 

"We'll have to catch a few of them and eat them... for ruining our date..." she offered, an attempt at lighthearted humor to try to push aside the fear that was simmering in her stomach. 

His forced pity laugh was cut off by a loud burst of water as a large, slimy tentacle shot out of the lake next to the boat. It flailed in the air, falling with a crash through the middle of the canoe, and began to pull it backward. Aurelia yelped, scrambling to the opposite side from Howzer, who had taken a powerful swing at the arm with the paddle, landing a solid blow on it. Another one burst through the water on the other side, sweeping across the top of the canoe. Howzer leapt over it, swinging the paddle at it and firing a round from his blaster, but it knocked Aurelia backward, and she tipped over the side, falling into the water with a loud splash. 

Howzer aimed his blaster into the water after her, seeking a clear shot at the broad tentacles, but he couldn't tell where she was in the midst of it. Securing his blaster to his side, he dove in after her, finding her arms just below the surface. He wrapped an arm around her, kicking as hard as he could at the creature swirling around them, and felt his foot connect with something particularly soft. The tentacles jerked in response, moving quickly toward the bottom, and the two broke free and crashed to the surface, Aurelia gasping for air.

Howzer swam toward the shore, closing the distance quickly and dragging the two of them up onto the banks. He looked back at the water, ominously choppy still, and clambered to his feet, scooping Aurelia up and staggering away. Once they were a safe distance, in the thicker part of the forest, he stopped, panting in exhaustion, and set her down gently, ripping his helmet off. She was soaked to the bone, as well as all her layers of clothing. He sat on a tree trunk next to her, pushing his wet hair out of his face. 

"That was not the plan," he muttered, brushing droplets of water off his cheeks. Aurelia chuckled halfheartedly, looking around with trepidation. Howzer followed her gaze, scanning the perimeter for motion. "Sorry, not quite the relaxing evening I imagined."

"It's d-delightful," she answered, beginning to shiver now, "But I think a hot sh-shower would be a good way to end it."

"Agreed." 

The walk home felt twice as long as the journey there, despite moving as quickly as they could to try to keep warm. Howzer's armor was doing a decent job for him, but Aurelia was not so fortunate. Teeth chattering, she smashed the key card against the reader a few times before it finally dinged, admitting them to her apartment, and she headed straight for the bathroom, stripping off layer after layer and dropping them all with a splat into the sink by the shower. It was hot and steamy within a minute, and she pulled the curtain closed, reveling in the warm water on her skin. 

A hand reached through the back of the shower, startling her, and she heard Howzer's voice as his fingers waggled, "Need some help in there?" 

Aurelia laughed, still feeling a bit sheepish at being seen naked, but also quite enticed by the proposition of lathering him up from head to toe. She reached for his hand, giving it a little pull, and with a stumbling shuffle, he stepped in, grinning at her with her arms folded across her chest. He moved closer, gently placing a hand on her waist, and she nestled against his chest, tingling at the sensation of skin on skin. 

"I guess this makes up for it," she said quietly against his neck. 

"I think I've got a little more debt than that," he murmured, tipping her chin up for a kiss.

"Alright men, look sharp," Howzer commanded from beneath his helmet, walking in front of his lined-up squad. "We've got a new patrol group coming in, and the better we train them, the less we have to clean up after them. Got it?" 

"Yes, sir!" they chorused.

"At ease," he answered, and they turned to watch the fresh batch of troopers arrive. It had been a few months filled with rotating platoons and training drills, with a heavier focus on the doonium mine and refinery. The new group approached Howzer's squad, and there was some surprise at the mixed group: there were clones as well as other humans, all walking toward them with their helmets at their sides. As they arrived, they halted as one, moving into formation and pulling their helmets on, waiting quietly for orders. 

The day wore on, full of training drills and procedures for various scenarios. The occasional theft was the extent of their worries, and the Empire hadn't seemed concerned enough about them to improve any protocols, so they went through the motions with familiarity. After hours of practice and review, they were finished, and Howzer dismissed the newbies. His squad lingered, pulling their helmets off and exchanging a few quips and jabs.

"Cantina tonight?" asked Steady, stretching his neck side to side. 

"I'm in!" Demo answered, clicking an attachment off the muzzle of his blaster and tucking it into a thigh pouch before holstering his weapon. 

"Too loud," a grumble came from behind.

"I agree, Loner. And I'm gonna use the extra shower time if the two of you go," said Zip, who had been absent from the last adventure as well. 

"I'll come!" a bright voice announced, as a trooper with dark green marks on his armor poked his head out from behind Howzer's shoulder. "If that's alright..."

"Sure thing, Fireball. We'll get you settled right in," Steady answered congenially. 

"It's nothing like Kashyyyk though," Demo warned, grinning mischievously. 

BOOM. A barricade exploded in the shipyard as a ground transport plowed through it, careening toward the distant canyon. The men startled into action, pulling helmets on and drawing blasters, and Howzer took immediate command. Mounting a few nearby speeders, the rest piled into a low-altitude assault transport and took off in pursuit. Two of the speeder bikes raced along the top of the canyon, finding a narrow point where the canyon path the transport was on seemed to converge. Aiming their blasters at the rock walls opposite each other, they created a rockslide with a flurry of well-placed shots, and the boulders tumbled into the canyon below, creating a formidable obstacle.

The stolen transport skidded to a halt, spinning sideways as the rocks crashed down in front of it. Howzer and his LA-AT team were not far behind, coming in for landing to cut off their escape. Troopers spilled out its sides, sprinting toward the stolen transport with blasters drawn. A small group readied to break into the steering compartment, and the rest approached the rear. Fanning out into position, they stood at the ready as two moved in to place a detonator on the back door. With a single arm signal, they folded to the sides for cover, and with one last drop of the hand from the Captain, it exploded, causing the large metal panel to fall off its hinges. 

Filing in with weapons at the ready, the clone troopers discovered, as the dust settled, that the transport was not full of weapons or credits, but thin, sallow-skinned Twi'leks with raggedy clothes cowering before them with their arms in the air. Demo hesitated, aiming his blaster back and forth between two adolescents that couldn't have been far into their teens, looking quizzically at Steady from beneath his helmet. Howzer glanced from face to face, searching for anyone in any position of authority and finding none. He leapt back out, heading to the front of the transport, where his brothers had apprehended the three in the drivers compartment, who were now standing in the headlights with their hands behind their heads, guarded on every direction. 

"What's going on here?" Howzer demanded. 

"Ryloth needs to be freed!" came the thickly-accented answer from a tall female Twi'lek with a fierce glare. 

"So you're kidnapping your own people?" he challenged, addressing her now. 

"Kidnapping? We are releasing them from slavery!" 

"They're employees! Hired by the Empire!" yelled Loner from behind Howzer, who waved a hand to silence his comrade. 

"Look at them, Captain," said the Twi'lek woman, quieter yet more emphatic now. "Do they look like employees?" 

He turned to look at the crowd behind him, where his squad had gathered the stowaways in a messy cluster. They looked fearful and confused, as well as tired and resigned. His brow furrowed beneath his helmet, and he turned back to the woman. "Did you take any weapons? Credits? Materials?" 

"No, only our brothers and sisters. You can understand that as a clone, no?" 

Howzer hesitated, glancing to his side where Zip and Steady had rallied behind him, now being joined by Demo and Fireball. Thoughts racing, he considered the situation, pulling his helmet off in a show of humanity. His squad did the same, lowering blasters and releasing the tension a bit as they showed their identical yet unique faces. The pause lingered for a moment, then was broken by the singular sound of a light thud followed by quickening beeping. 

"Grenade!!" shouted Demo, and everyone sprang into action, diving for cover anywhere it was found. The blast rocked the canyon, and the ensuing chaos was a blur in Howzer's memory.

"That's the entire report?" Rampart's smooth voice queried as he strolled across the line of Howzer's squad.

"Yes sir," Howzer answered, standing at the end of the line, chin raised.

"Hmm," the Admiral said thoughtfully. "It's a shame. These insurgents are getting more organized, and they are becoming an increasing source of trouble. How they managed to get an entire group out of there on foot is beyond me, but they are clearly more capable than we previously thought. In the future, Captain, don't waste the manpower or time in pursuit. Simply obliterate it from the air. That would have dealt with the problem without losing two of your men."

"But sir, it was full of civilians," Howzer answered hesitantly.

"Civilians, materials... whatever it is," Rampart bulldozed, and a few clone troopers shifted minutely in their armor, "It needs to be made clear that their efforts will only be met with great loss."

"Yes sir," Howzer said automatically, insides churning. 

"You're dismissed."

Aurelia's work in the medical clinic had been growing in complexity. She was proud of her increasing confidence in a variety of areas. One afternoon in particular had her feeling on top of the world, as well as incredibly apprehensive, due to some shocking news she'd received that day. As the workday progressed, she felt her excitement to get home to Howzer growing, and was absently cleaning some instruments when the receptionist passed on a transmission that had been sent to her from the capitol tower. 

—————————————— ENCRYPTED TRANSMISSION//1600 HRS

LATE WORK NIGHT -- EMERGENCY PRISONER TRANSPORT FOR RAMPART MUST POSTPONE RENDEZVOUS. 

CC-2420//END ——————————————

Heart sinking, Aurelia bristled at the mention of this "Rampart". She'd heard only bits and pieces about him from Howzer, but he seemed to be a silky-smooth talker with a kind face that starkly contrasted his ruthless heart. Howzer had been under his domain since his recent arrival on Ryloth, and Rampart had been increasing the security and troop presence in both the capitol and the doonium refinery. She sighed, looking down and placing a single hand on her belly. The news would have to wait. 

It was almost dawn when the door of her apartment opened, startling Aurelia from her snooze on the couch. She had refused to go to bed and had tried to wait up for him as long as she could. He dropped his helmet on the counter and headed straight for the bedroom, unaware of her sleepy head peeking over the back of the couch. She heard him flop onto the bed, armor and all, with an exhausted and frustrated sigh.

Unable to decide between concern and humor, she remained silent as she gently sat on the bed next to him, placing a hand just above the white cylinder on the small of his back. He rolled his head to face her, arms splayed out, and the half of his face that she could see was covered with a myriad of expressions from confusion to indignation to defeat. She leaned down, placing a tender kiss on his salty, sweaty forehead, and sat up again, wiping her mouth on her sleeve with a small, patient smile. 

"They're at it again," Howzer finally said, his voice thin with fatigue. 

"I know you're tired, but would you care to elaborate?" she asked gently. 

"The Imperials. Rampart. His elite squad. Orn Free Taa. All of them. It's a mess."

"What happened?"

Howzer sighed, rolling over and pushing himself up to a seated position, leaning back on one elbow and rubbing his forehead with his other hand before speaking, "Cham's daughter got in trouble for 'spying', just for being somewhere she shouldn't have. But she's a kid, you know? Then, later, they find her on a ship coming in with illegal weapons, with Gobi..."

"Oh..." Aurelia said softly, knowing how Gobi Glie's involvement would paint the whole situation.

"Just like that, Orn Free Taa has her labeled an insurgent," he said, hating that word more every time he heard it, "And wanted her transported to a high security prison with Gobi and his accomplice. Cham found out about it and attacked our transport last night. Rampart seemed way too comfortable with the whole thing and immediately told us to surrender. Cham got Hera out and had Orn Free Taa at blaster point but didn't go through with it. We talked him down, and he lowered the blaster. But then someone shot Taa from up high. I couldn't see. And Rampart suddenly has Cham, Eleni, and their whole crew arrested for an attempt on the senator's life! His entire team was right there in front of us; Rampart should know it couldn't have come from them... None of it makes sense..." Howzer drifted off, slipping his elbow out from underneath him to lie flat on his back, both hands rubbing his face now. He looked so tired, so distressed... Aurelia longed to snap her fingers and make everything okay for him. 

"I'm so sorry. At least Hera got away. But what happened to the Syndullas? And did Taa die?"

"No, he's at the medical bay. The Syndullas are being held in the capitol. Hera is nowhere to be found. I've got about three hours before I have to report back in."

"Ah," Aurelia sighed, feeling his exhaustion with him. "What sounds best? Shower? Food? Sleep"

"Just sleep," he mumbled, fidgeting with his armor gauntlets. Aurelia helped him remove his plates and pieces, quietly enjoying the intimacy of the action without bringing attention to it, and pulled the covers back for him to shuffle up toward the pillow. He collapsed onto it, laying on his side, and she crawled into bed behind him, fitting herself up against his back and legs, reaching one arm around his waist, which he reached down to grab, entwining his fingers with hers and bringing her hand up to his chest, holding it close. He was asleep within seconds. 

Howzer walked down the hallway behind Rampart, face blank but mind racing, past the holding cells where Syndulla's cohorts were being held. They came to one of the red ray-shielded doors and stopped, turning to face the Twi'leks inside.

"Ah, Cham Syndulla, the Liberator of Ryloth," said Rampart smoothly, "Now the traitor of Ryloth." Howzer glanced at him as he continued, "Attempting to assassinate your own senator? How unfortunate for your people to see you fall." 

"They won't believe your lies," growled Cham from the bench in the cell.

"Taa said you would be a challenge, but he was mistaken," continued Rampart, unphased. "Your loyal followers will be even easier to deal with. Your daughter too."

Howzer could barely hide his shock at the thinly-veiled threat, eyes widening for a moment before he quickly calmed his features down into his standard expression. His mind was racing, laced with a heavy sense of dread. None of it made sense. But Rampart was clearly attempting to manipulate Cham, which, from past experience, was not likely to be fruitful. But he also knew that Hera was their only remaining child, having lost their son at a tragically young age, and that they would go to any length to protect her. 

"Surely you know how dangerous it can be out there," Rampart finished, his even voice now taking on a tinge of suggestion that made his intentions all too clear. 

"You don't know Hera," Cham responded evenly, through a menacing squint. His confidence in his daughter was clear, and had also been well-earned, as Howzer had seen over the years of working with the Syndullas. Rampart took it in stride, however, and dismissively turned to Cham's wife.

"Eleni, you're the reasonable one. Tell us where she is, and I will ensure that she is returned to you safely."

"I have seen how you treat your allies, Admiral," Eleni said in her thickly-accented voice, standing to her full height and striding forward to the middle of the cell to address him directly, chin lifted proudly, "I prefer to be your enemy."

Howzer could have sworn he saw the hint of a smile curve the corner of Rampart's lips, and he raised his head, turning to leave with one last comment, "Have it your way." He continued down the hall without another word, leaving Howzer behind. Cham rose to stand by his wife, placing a strong, supportive arm around her shoulders, and the two of them glared at Howzer. He had always been the one standing behind them, and their accusatory glances, void of any of the usual familiarity, pierced him to the core. He let out a deep sigh, lowering his eyes to the ground, and dutifully turned to follow Rampart.

The door to the landing bay slid open and Rampart began his orders to Howzer, "Scour the entire planet if you have to. I want all of Syndulla's sympathizers found and arrested."

"Sir," Howzer began, careful to keep his voice even and not at all challenging, "The people are not insurgents. We have no cause to arrest them." He accompanied it with a little shoulder shrug, extending his hand submissively, hoping that Rampart would see reason.

"They're supporting a menace," Rampart responded abruptly. "Syndulla's forces attacked our transport and shot Senator Taa."

"I was there," Howzer said suddenly, feeling emboldened by the need to make the truth plain. "That blast didn't come from Cham or his fighters." He turned to face Rampart, man to man, keeping himself calm and steady. There had to be some way to explain it all, some way to avoid such nefarious plotting.

"Is that so?" Rampart crooned, still facing the ships in the yard. "Then please enlighten me," he continued, turning and stepping toward Howzer, getting uncomfortably close. "Who is responsible?" The word was embellished with a tilt of the head and an arch of the eyebrow as he stared into Howzer's eyes, the challenge being quite clear. 

"I..." Howzer took a half-step backward, eyes dropping submissively to search the ground for answers, "...don't know, sir." He kicked himself inwardly, feeling the need to stand up for what was right but not having any clear path of how to do so. 

"Leave the thinking to me, Captain," Rampart said dismissively, barely hiding his disgust at the clone as he turned back to face the shipyard. "You have your orders," he stated, tipping his head to the side but not even sparing Howzer a second glance. 

"Yes sir," Howzer said after a moment of thought, turning to the ships as well and standing up straight. He had a solution; a temporary one, at least. "I'll locate Hera Syndulla myself," he said with a confident authority, hoping that it would elicit Rampart's trust and support.

"That's not necessary," the Admiral responded, still not meeting Howzer's gaze as he looked at him in surprise. "Another squad is handling that. It's only a matter of time before she's found." He turned and strolled back into the capitol tower, leaving Howzer alone. 

Howzer looked out at the ships, the inner turmoil threatening to show itself externally. He'd been on Ryloth for years. Their purpose was to protect the planet from the Separatists. They'd accomplished that. So why were they suddenly falsely accusing and arresting an entire part of the population without any cause? He had to figure something out... quickly.

.

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