#howard simon

Barely an hour later we would all be doing an irreverent interview on the Howard Simon Show on WGR am 550 in Buffalo New York.  Howard Simon and  Jeremy White host the morning show.  Since Buffalo is just across the border from Toronto they have many Raptors fans but the show is US-based so people understand the primary system.  They would agree to interview the whole team allowing unbridled inaninty as long as we eventually get to the NBA playoffs.

Simon: Welcome back to the Howard Simon Show.  We have a guest joining us now on the telephone, in fact, several guests, all compressed into 1 man Phil Cole.  He’s very funny but his jokes are sometimes buried and sometimes he’s serious.  Don’t try to figure it out.  Jeremy and I will talk to him-them for a while and maybe we’ll even get to explain why.  Are you there, Phil?

PBC: Yes, I’m here.  We’re all here.  Wake up everybody, we’re on the radio!

Brad: What again/

PBC: Sorry, some of the team was dozing.

White: Early in the morning?

PBC: No, this is our third interview today, so they were dozing.

101-Year-Old: What show are we on?

PBC: Howard Simon Show.

101-Year-Old: Howard Stern again?  I better block my ears.

PBC: No Howard Simon.

101-Year-Old: American Idol?  you’re not gonna make me sing are you?

White: Ha ha ha.

PBC: No, granpa, Howard Simon!  It’s a sports talk show in Buffalo.

101-Year-Old: Are we in Buffalo again?  smooth ride this time.

PBC: No, on the phone.  We’re all at home in Woonsocket.

Simon: That would be Woonsocket, Rhode Island right?

PBC: Yes, the state that gave Donald Trump a bigger victory than New York did.

White: There’s no stopping the Donald now, is there?

PBC: Don’t remind us.

Simon: Well, that’s kind of why you’re on right now.  Which one of you had the theory about the NBA playoffs.

Cole: That’d be me, Cole here, from Nashville.

White: A hotbed of college basketball.

Cole: Yeah, but I don’t watch much.

White: Memphis Grizzlies and Nashville Predators.

Cole: Yeah, both doomed in the playoffs on accounta Trump won the Tennessee primary.

White: But Nashville defeated Anaheim in round 1 of the NHL playoffs.

Cole: Yeah, I ain’t doin’ so good with that.

White: but you’re doing great with your NBA prophesies.

Cole: Yeah, 7 and 1, all but Miami, but that’s just 1 Trump team beatin’ another so I don’t mind.

Simon: Now in round 2, explain your picks as they stand right now.

Cole: Sure, we got Cleveland playin’ Atlanta.  That’s a Kasich team playin’ a Trump team so I’m pickin’ Cleveland.

Simon: Cleveland’s the top seed in the east.  that’s not a brave pick.

Cole: They prob’ly won more games at the end after Kasich won the primary.  Anyway I’da picked Cleveland over Miami if they was the worst team in the playoffs.

White: They’re playing Atlanta.  Toronto is playing Miami.

Cole: Same difference.  They’s both Trump teams.  They gotta go.

Simon: What about in the west.  Trump didn’t win any western states yet.

Cole: Memphis was a western team, but they’re gone now.  So we got San Antonio.  That’a a Cruz-Hillary team, so I’m pickin’ Oklahoma City.  They’re a Cruz-Bernie team.

Simon: So you think San Antonio’s gonna feel the Bern?

Cole: I think they’re gonna lose in this round 2.

Simon: And what about the remaining series: Golden State versus Portland.

Cole: I reckon Golden State’s gonna win.

White: So far Portland is the only upset, the only major upset you called right.

Cole: That ain’t my fault.

White: But in the NHL you suffered several losses.

Cole: Yeah, that was a mess, but you know when that St. Louis-Chicago series  I picked St. Louis first on accounta they were still countin the recount in Missouri and I thought maybe Cruz might win.  I had to switch.  Then after the New York primary, the Islanders were winnin’ 2 games to 1 and I had to switch, so I figger I was kinda half right.  Then San Jose was just a wrong guess.  Nashville hurts but I’m from Tennessee.

Simon: So how are you doing in round 2 now?

Cole: 5 and 3 so far.  I got Washington, Tampa Bay, San Jose and Dallas.

Simon: Sounds like a plan.  If you keep winning will you talk with us again?

Cole: Sure thing.

"I will set down a tale as it was told to me by one who had it of his father, which later had it of his father, this last having in like manner had it of his father - and so on, back and still back, three hundred years and more, the fathers transmitting it to the sons and so preserving it."

The World Publishing Company, 1948.