#hotlzmann

Nothing was happening. And she was moving. No longer talking to some of her cast members she turned on her heels and was actually walking my way. She was walking right up to me and I felt myself nearly fainting. Only 3 m apart she looked up at me and smiled and then walked right past me, backstage. My world stopped. Every sound around me disappeared and I slumped back in the seat I had been sitting in during the show. This didn’t happen. I didn’t fly out to New York from across the world on my own to see Kate live on SNL, to miss the only opportunity to ever talk to her because I was too star struck to actually say anything to her at all and probably stare at her like a weird creep when she smiled at me. This didn’t fucking happen.

And yet, there I was, all alone, on a crappy folding chair sweating profusely, kicking myself in the head for blowing everything I had been living up to for the past 5 years. Mentally zoned out I didn’t notice one of the production guys standing in front of me and waving. “Excuse me miss, but you need to leave, we’re closing up the set”. Startled by his voice I looked up at him confusedly and scrunched my face. “shit I’m so sorry, I’ll go” I stutter and try to get up from the chair way too fast before toppling over and knocking over 5 chairs in my way.

Laying there, underneath a pile of folding chairs with a production guy snickering at me trying his best to dig out my remains I just want the earth to swallow me whole. This was not how I imagined this…

The nice guy helps me up and gives me an empathetic glance. “you okay?” he genuinely askes me as he wipes some dust of my back. “I’ve been better” I sigh and look around the stage. “I imagined this to go so differently” I mumble and try to find the nearest exit. “You didn’t enjoy the show?” Why is this guy so interested in this story, I just want to go home… “No No I did, it’s just I have flown over from (your country) to come and see Kate… I’m a huge fan and this kind of was the only chance I ever had seeing her in real life… and I just stood there…” “Did you blew it?” he snickers and looks at me with a soft smile, getting my disappointment. “yeah I did” I sigh again. “But anyways, thanks for helping me and everything after I made this evening even more memorable…” “You’re welcome” He smiles and I turn on my heels still not figured out where I have to exit this damn building. “Uhm, miss, this way” he laughs as I apparently have now walked the complete wrong direction. “You are enjoying my meltdown way too much” I say as I close my eyes in embarrassment. “You are good entertainment, miss (your country)” “It’s (y/n)…” I say as I extend my hand thinking this guy has seen me in enough embarrassing situations to make this a formal thing. “(Y/n), I’m Danny, it’s been really nice to meet you, but I really need to kick you out now” He laughs as he takes my hand and shakes it. “Lead the way…” I’m so embarrassed at this point I don’t even care anymore. I shake my head and follow Danny out of the building. Upon nearing the double doors that lead outside I thank Danny again and make my way out of there, happy to feel the cool evening air on my still burning cheeks. I look around me, not knowing where the hell I am as I didn’t enter the building on this side. As I decide to go to the right the double door I just exited from clicks open and I turn around. Danny’s head pokes outside and smiles when he sees me. “Hey you, found some one who wants to ask you about clearing out so many chairs in only one strike…” I look at him confused, before he disappears back inside and another head appears. This time it’s a blonde haired woman with a wicked smile on her face… “Damn woman, you must be good at bowling” she giggles and steps outside.

The breath in my throat hitches and my world stops spinning. The woman is actually walking up to me and she extends her hand. I just look at it. This is not happening. This is some screwed up mindfuck I decide and it isn’t until she giggles again I realize this is the real deal. I slowly take her hand and shake it. “It’s the shoes that made me want to become a pro” is the first thing my brain decides to spit out and I mentally smack myself in the head. I'm not blowing this a second time. Kate, on the other hand thinks it’s hilarious apparently, now laughing out loud and shaking my hand one last time before dropping it. “Danny told me you flew out here from the (your country)?” she askes and looks at me with true interest in her eyes. “Yeah, I did the whole 9 hours in a way too small space to come see you” I smile softly at the woman standing in front of me. “Well, I think that’s amazing, thanks for coming all the way out here too see us! Did you like the show?” she askes and I’m amazed she’s still talking to me. “It was amazing, I never laughed so hard in my life. That part with you and Colin Jost was hiliarious!” “Thanks, that means a lot!” She says and rubs her hands, apparently getting cold, without a jacket. “shit, you should go back inside! Can’t have you catching a cold talking to the most embarrassing person in the crowd ever…” “You have no idea… The things that have happened here… But you are way up in my most memorable moments tho! I heard a loud clatter and there you were underneath a pile of chairs” She’s actually laughing at me now and I nod my head. “At least I can say Kate McKinnon laughed at me…” I say as I try to be cool about this whole thing. “Sounds like a good story for your next family event I’d say.” “If only they would believe me if I’d tell them that” I scoff and smile at her. “I don’t even believe it yet, to be honest.” I say softly as a blush creeps on my cheeks. “Well…, we can do something about that! Do you have a phone?” And before I can rethink it I blurt out: “If you wanted my number you could’ve just asked…” I grin and immediately regret it. Shit shit shit shit shit I shouldn’t have done that, you stupid fuckface, now she’s going to run away and think you are a weird creep and omg you just ruined this for the second time… “Don’t get keen on me now, chair girl” She laughs and gestures for my iPhone. As she takes the phone from my hands her fingers brush slightly against mine and I swear I feel sparks. I look at my hand, my mouth getting drier by the second, that feeling was way to overwhelming… “Hey chair girl, up here” Kate says very close to my ear as she somehow has now ended up beside me. I look up and see her holding out my phone to take a selfie. Boldly I stretch out my left arm and let it go around her waist. She puts her right arm around my shoulders and smiles the most beautiful smile I’ve ever seen. Smiling the biggest smile I have in me I feel sparks everywhere. The way she feels flush against my side with my hand on her hip is something i've never felt before “There you go, chair girl” she says pulling me from my daydreams. “Thank you… It’s (y/n) by the way…” she hands back my phone and smiles. “(Y/n)… I’ve never heard that name before.” “Nah It’s rather uncommon in my country too… no one ever seems to pronounce it right, but you did quite well for a first time!” “Well thanks! How do you spell it even, tho?” “(Spell out y/n)” “Well (spells out your name), I should head back inside but it was really nice meeting you! And that image of you underneath those chairs is definitely something I will cherish for ever” She laughs and grabs my hand again. “Have a nice stay in New York, enjoy the city of dreams!” I look at our entangled hands and smile. This is the best night ever. “Thank you so much Kate, it was really amazing to meet you too. Have a nice evening!” "You too!" And with that she's gone.

I'm standing outside the NBC studios, in the freezing cold, but the warmth thats comfortably spreading in my chest is enough to keep me warm forever. "I just met Kate McKinnon" I say to myself and laugh a little. I actually met her and it was even better then I ever imagined it to be.

~ later that evening in my hotel room ~

I was still sporting the smile that appeared on my face ever since Kate stepped out of that door. Looking at the set of selfies she took I still couldn't believe that it had actually happened. She was soo nice, and soo damn hot. Smiling that toothy grin while her dimples were the cutest thing ever! I couldn't stop looking at my phone. I had texted my best friend the pic but due to the time difference she had yet to freak out as much as I had. Debating the option of putting the pic on either instagram or twitter or facebook or all three of them I suddenly get a notification of a Facebookmassage.

Opening it at first I don't see any new messages in my history... "weird" I mumble... before I close the app to get back to the pic I suddenly see an unread massage in the request folder. Opening it, expecting a spam thing from some desperate "prins abubu from Trinidad offering 80 million", but instead seeing a small pic of a little girl popping up going by the name of Kathryn Positano.

{Apparently there aren't that many (y/n) out there on the world wide web... did you get home safe?}

For the 3rth time this day my breath hitches in my throat. What is this?! I click on the little icon and a very young but very distinct-able Kate pops up. I try to go to her Facebookpage but it's blocked to look at for outsiders.

Confused about if this is really Kate or just a fraud I contemplate my next move... but it had to be her, otherwise how could she have found me??

Trying to play it safe I reply {who's this?} and I start chewing on my bottom lip, waiting for a reply.

The little dotted balloon pops up and my heart started racing, this can't be real...

{I guess I didn't make much of an impression on you, chair girl}

Holy freaking christmascake it WAS her!

{I guess those chairs hit harder then I anticipated at first...} I quickly type away and hit sent before even thinking about it. My god am I doing this for real...

{I guess they did! You are probably wondering why I'm texting you in the first place but I got this bowling competition tomorrow and I was wondering if you got some pointers on how to beat the competition}

I actually smirk at her still making fun of me kissing the floor with a bunch of chairs on top of me. {HA-HA Very funny… But for real, why are you texting me in the dead of night?}

It was actually 01:30 am already.

{To be honest with you, I have no idea…}

{And here I was thinking you have it all figured out being a world famous cat lover}

How on earth did I end up having small talk with Kate McKinnon in the middle of the night... the woman I've been a fan of for 5 years, the woman who I flew to NY for on my own.. Before I can overthink it my phone buzzes again {Well... the part about the world famous cat lover is very true but I really haven't figured out anything in life yet}

Deciding to keep up with the playful banter I start typing away again, getting giddier by the second.

{How unfortunate, I actually was hoping for some pointers on how to proceed a texting conversation with a very famous, but very awesome woman in the dead of night, without getting too excited and saying stupid stuff that could potentially blow this it.}

{My advice… Although I’m not really familiar with this situation… just be cool about it and see where the conversation goes… Which famous, but amazing woman did you manage to get her to text you? good job there pal}

{Yeh some improv actress who apparently thinks making fun of strangers is a good way to make a first impression}

{Ouch, that hurt}

{You started it…}

{Okay, fine, I surrender. Why are you still up?}

{There’s this fine thing called jetlag} I decide on sending just that before revealing the real reason, which is a particular beautiful blonde that has been occupying my mind even more than usual.

{Ah yeh, the wonders of timezones. What time is it in your weird little country right now?}

{First of all it’s you Americans who are the real weirdos here… but it’s actually like 07:30 am right now}

{Sorry if I offended you and your small speck of a country there pal, did I hurt your feelings?}

{You kinda did tbh}

{How can I make it up to you?}

I contemplate my answer but finally setting on the bolder option of 3.

{A nice Sunday brunch perhaps? So you can show me the wonders of the city of dreams afterward?}

Shit, what if she’s just looking for some fun before falling asleep and never to speak to me again, what if she’s already having plans. She would definitely not wanna hang out with some fan that she’s just met. Shit what did I do. But when the dotted balloon pops up again there is a small piece of hope building up in my heart.

{Busy schedule tomorrow so gotta pass on that one…}

Okay she totally blew me off right there… What was I thinking anyways… Another beep.

{But if you’re up for it, I got some time to show you my magnificent city after a casual dinner?}

Holy freaking shite… Did she just invite me to dinner?! As I reply I’m letting none of the nerves and excitement and fear or disbelieve that are raging through my mind right now shimmer trough and try play it cool.

{Well well stepping up your game aren’t you?}

{It’s the least I can do after bruising ones ego, multiple times that said.”

{I strongly agree}

{Then we have that settled}

{Dinner better be good, otherwise I have to make you step up your game even more…}

{You just wait woman… You might be European but we got some culinary goodies over here too!}

{You do realize I’ve eaten in Italy, Spain, France, Switzerland and Austria right?} {And also in a lot of different countries but they’re not worth the mention to come off as a culinary big baller}

{huh, is that so… I guess I do got to step up my game}

{bring it…}

{I will, tomorrow at 7? I’ll pick you up at the NBC studios if that’s okay with you?}

{Sounds great. I’ll be there}

{Good, looking forward to it! And now I gotta close my eyes before you force me into even more obligations}

{I don’t recall any forcing… You were pretty easy to convince I was worth taking out to dinner actually…}

{Hah, you just keep on believing woman. Goodnight tho. See you tomorrow}

{Sleep tight, don’t let the bedbugs bite!}

There was just something in the way she held herself, insecure but bold and careful but witty at the same time, sparked my interest. Our encounter today was no different. I had been nervous about our “date” All day but when I pulled up to the curb where she was fiddling with her button down I knew she was having a way harder time then me. From that point on I decided to make sure she felt comfortable and at ease with me. I had no idea why I was feeling so strongly about doing that for her but it was clearly working as one after the other playful exchange of words fired off between us. I was having a lot of fun joking around with her and she was notably having a good time as well. Mission accomplished so far.

We wait for our food to arrive when her phone suddenly buzzes. I was her slipping it out underneath the table, as if I’m not allowed to see who just texted her. She looks at the screen and giggles, the person on the other end clearly entertaining her with their message. She quickly types away a response and after another glance at her screen she slides it back in her pocket. “sorry about that” she apologizes when she catches my gaze. I put on a fake smile, for some reason not feeling all too happy about someone making her smile other then me. “Don’t worry about it, your boyfriend?” I ask trying to sound very interested but failing miserably. She snorts hard, like almost laughs at me and I raise my eyebrows at her outburst. “well well miss “out and proud since you were 12” there’s something clearly wrong with our gaydar” she spits at me and wipes a tear of laughter from her eyes. I need a second to collect myself as I feel a blush creep on my cheeks. Trying to divert the attention I try again. “well girlfriend then?” There’s a glint of amazement in her eyes when she studies me for a second and shakes her head slightly. “If you really must know…, that was my best friend, asking if you had kidnapped and killed me yet.” “But! Before you judge her, we’ve watched way to many tv-shows for our own good, so she might be a bit biased about a celebrity taking a complete stranger somewhere down-town New York” My jaw drops to the floor at the thought someone might even slightly think that’s wat I had intended. “And to be honest, I still have no idea if this dinner is just a facade for you to get me all worked up and trusting before taking advantage of a helpless fan living her dream…” she grins and sends me a little wink an goed back to sipping her “European” beer.

This brat.

Usually I was the winner of this game we had been playing all night. But I came up blank this time trying to think of a comeback and this girl was growing bolder by the second. I was loving every part of it. “you’ll regret that, little brat” is all I can come up with and she just laughs harder. “bring it on blondie” she cuts back and sticks out her tongue at me. Before I can say anything back Amanda comes up with a big bowl of our food. Thankfully. “It smells great” Mykah says and waists no time delving into the big pile of spaghetti. “It tastes as good” I enthusiastically reply and start picking at the plate as well, happy to have a little distraction from her beautiful eyes glinstering with a lot of emotions I just don’t wanne deal with right now.

I look up and with a mouth full of spagetti she admits I was right “this is delicious!” she says and smiles, sauce dripping down her chin. I smile back at her, shaking my head at her horrible manners before spotting a blob of tomato sauce that was stuck on her chin after she wiped it with her napkin.

Not really thinking about my next move at all I reach across the table and use my thumb to wipe it away. I wipe it off on my own napkin and when I look back up, it’s her turn to gape at me with red hot cheeks. She chokes on a piece of meatball and I’m laughing profusely now. Swallowing down the remainder of her food with the help of a big gulp of Erdinger and she looks at me, starstruck.

“You’re welcome” I simply state and continue eating. I hear a low grumble from across the table but nothing more… I just tied the score 1 to 1.

Te remainder of eating spaghetti its spend with various kinds of smiling at each other, fighting with our forks for particular pieces of food and at some point there’s even some soft showing of a food against my shin to distract me from intently gazing at her lips a little longer than I should have. When we finish the big plate she excuses herself to go to the bathroom and Amanda skips up to our table. “You are having a good time aren’t yah” She states, suggestively wiggling her eyebrows. “Oh shut it Amanda” I embarrassedly say and sigh. “No seriously you two have been either laughing or staring at each other all night! Even Ricardo asked if you were on a date!” “We’re not on a date! She’s a fan for god sakes” I hiss trying to keep it down “And besides that “I’ve no idea how old she even is… but it’s not a date… And tell your chef to mind his own business” I continue to growl at her, not sure who I was trying to convince more, Amanda or myself. “Whatever you say missy” Amanda spits back and winks We’ve known each other long enough to take this kind of talk from one another. As she turns to walk away with our dirty dishes I grab her arm an pull her down to me. “But she’s pretty right?” I can’t help myself… I collect another grin and Amanda walks away kicking open the door to the kitchen with her foot and she waist no time to shout at Ricardo “I owe you a tenner” just loud enough for me to hear an I snort. Who was I kidding anyways. “what or who has you laughing that isn’t me?” Mykah suddenly says before slinging back in the booth. “Oh just something Amanda said” I say and look over to see Ricardo wave his 10 dollers at me. “So… desert?!” I excitedly say before she can start asking more questions. “pffft woman, give me a second…” She says and rubs her stomach. “Amateur” I huff and start looking over the desert menu I collect another glare from the corner of my eye but before I can say anything else she slides next to me and starts scanning the menu as well. Our sudden closeness catches me off guard and for a moment all I can concentrate on is the warmth radiating of her body, making me very hot all of the sudden.

“I am going for the panacotta” she says and turns her face to look at me. snapping out of my haze I can’t help but stutter “ huh… who… what?” she smiles, knowing exactly what just happend and nods towards the menu. “Panacotta? You know, this Italian desert that’s all wobbly?” “hmm I know what it is” She apparently decides to drop it after my somewhat gnarly remark. “what are you going for?” “the tiramisu I think” “ AHH only if you let me have a bite! I love Tiramisu!” She smiles at me and I feel weak at my knees. “Yeh sure” I say absently as I try to get my heart rate to a normal pace. “Hey, you alright?” she asks and puts her hand on mine squeezing it softly I suck in a breath and hate myself for not having control over my body whenever she smiles or touches me. “Yeh, yeh, just a little hot” I say and it’s not even a lie. “Wanna catch some air?” She proposes and I nod. “let’s go then” She says and follows me out of the booth holding our jackets. When I reach for mine she shakes her head and moves to hold it open for me to slip in. The little gesture speeds up my heart rate once again and I’m starting to wonder if I’ll make it out of this restaurant alive. I slip into my coat and she adjust it around my shoulders. Before I can do so myself her hand softly grabs my loose strands of hair and pulls them from underneath the collar. “all set” she states and puts on her own jacket and we we head for the small patio behind the restaurant.

I am thankful for the cold air hitting my cheeks when we step outside and I hear Mykah let out a heavy breath too. We sit down on one of the benches and just stare into space for a couple of seconds. For some reason we decide to turn our heads to look at each other at the exact same time and we erupt into a set of nervous giggles when we catch each others eyes.

“Hey, I just wanted to say that I’m really having a great time tonight, thanks for inviting me here.” She says and smiles. “I should thank You for tripping over those chairs last night, that’s why we are here in the first place” I joke and she grins while shaking her head. “Anndddd thank you for reminding me of that glorious moment once again…”

We’re full out laughing together now and she shoves my lightly in the shoulder. Sending yet another set of sparks down my arm “No seriously tho, I am having a great time tonight as well, thanks.” I say and am suddenly overcome with the urge to reach out and take her hand in mine but fight it, knowing way better then taking this too far.

Mykah starts to say something when Amanda bursts trough the door. “Hey you lovebirds, can I get you a desert?” I groan at Amandas comment and close my eyes. “You asshole” I spit at her and she just shrugs, a small grin on her face” I turn back to look at Mykah and see her just staring at her hands, but a small smile playing on her lips. “You know what, worst host of the century… Just bring me the check, we’re out of here!” Mykah laughs out loud and Amanda just trows her hand at me “pfft whatever”

She disappears back inside and I apologize to Mykah. “sorry about that, Amanda is just an asshole that can’t mind her own business” “it’s fine…” she replies and she smiles but it doesn’t quite reach her eyes as it has done all night.

We wait for our check in silence and I try to figure out what just happend for her to be this quiet. After a back and forth over her wanting to pay the bill I finally cut a deal to her “I’ll pay for our food if you pay for our drinks at the bar, deal?”

I see her eyes light up and she finally agrees.

I quickly take care of the it and hug Amanda goodbye, telling her that I’ll never be back ever again if she didn’t cut the shit and she simply replies with “have fun and be safe tonight!” wiggling her eyebrows once again and I pull Mykah out of the door, not wanting Amanda to make her even more uncomfortable with her stupid remarks.

John is already waiting for us outside, I had texted him when we were waiting to get out of the place.

Hey John, off to Macies, please!”

We share a short cab ride to my usual bar and sit ourselves down in the corner of the bar, occupying two barstools.

“What would you like to drink Milady?” Mykah asks me and she grins at her own pretend chivalry.

“I would love another beer” I say and look up at her sporting a big smile.

“Two beers coming right up!” She says and walks over to the bartender to order.