#hot jaskier

modern au, they were roommates, kinda horny

title from Danny Gonzalez’s “Spooky Ho”

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Geralt nearly chokes to death at 7am on a Saturday morning. The offending food item? A granola bar. The reason for his near death experience? A thief loose in his apartment. This thief? Also his roommate, Jaskier Pankratz, musician and college student.

“Hey.”

“Yeah?” Jaskier turns, effectively obliterating Geralt’s only remaining braincell. “What’s up?”

geralt: hmm.

jaskier: is that bread in your pants or are you just glad to see me?

geralt: ...fuck.

“New song?”, demands Renfri absent-mindedly. Her hands, rough from too many hours spent in training, are busy making a flower crown. The one she made for Jaskier sits atop of his head, the pollen from yellow dandelions making his eyes a bit itchy.

Hi there! I made you a gifset, hope you like it!

So what if, the first time he sees Geralt, brooding, mysterious, breathtaking, he falls in love? The witcher is a perfect muse, with his heroic antics and drama following in his footsteps. Quickly, he becomes one of the few constants in Jaskier's life.

Jaskier is in no way monogamic and along the way he flirts and hooks up with everyone who catches his fancy. However, he still harbours some unnamed feelings toward Geralt, feelings he would rather avoid at all costs. He's a reckless fool, that's true, but he has some sense of self-preservation.

For a while all is relatively well: their bellies full and pouches heavy, but then the accident with the djinn happens. Yennefer, beautiful, incredible Yennefer, comes into the picture. Jaskier is forced to face the truth - his silly infatuation might have gotten a little out of hand. He's so in love with Geralt, it hurts.

So, as a bard, what does he do? He starts composing a song. He pours all his love, pain and hope into it, writes "Gorgeous garroter, jury and judge" thinking about Geralt, hoping that maybe someone will want him.

They go on yet another adventure. Borch "dies", so Jaskier suggests getting away for a while. Old man's death made him reconsider some of his life choices. He wants something true. Steady. Real. Geralt refuses. Jaskier's hopes pretty much disappear after that.

Jaskier knows he had lost his best friend to Yennefer. He has heard hundreds of similar stories and now, when it happens to him, he can feel heartbreak setting into his bones, making a comfortable nest in his body.

He still doesn't leave.

Then the fight happens. Jaskier tries to understand why Geralt lashed out, why he blamed everything on him. It doesn't really help. He's still hurt, unfair words on repeat in his head.

So he leaves and tries not to look back. He's scared that if he does, he will beg Geralt to take him back.