#horiscopes

To have a long-lasting relationship that can endure hard times you must have some Saturn contacts in the chart. It is not enough to have wonderful, sweet aspects that is why Saturn is exhaulted in Libra. It tells us that a reality component must be part of what makes up the synastry between two people.

In the above synastry chart Ben Affleck is on the inner wheel while JLo is on the outer wheel. Take a look at the blue circle around two planets. That is JLo’s Saturn opposing Ben’s Moon. This is known as a hard Saturn contact to a personal planet namely JLo’s moon. Ok that is Saturn contact number one now let’s look for another. The green circle shows the square to JLo’s Mercury…bingo..that’s number two. Wait we have more… the chartreuse color circle… Venus conjunct Saturn… Wow three Saturn contacts! There is no wonder that they couldn’t leave each other alone.

I’m not saying these are wonderful aspects because they are not. They are however needed to bring them together. They feel very comfortable with each other. It’s like wearing an old coat. They can snuggle and it feels like home.

Ben’s Moon is how he feels secure and when confronted by JLo’s Saturn he may feel criticized. We know that she can be very tough on people because she has a 29-degree Scorpio Moon conjunct Mars. I couldn’t say she is the nicest person in the room even if she is the only one in the room! She is a very controlling person which means she wants it done her way.

Her Saturn is also squaring Ben’s Mercury. Again, this a ‘glue’ aspect. It is what holds people together for eternity, but it doesn’t mean it’s easy. Early on in a relationship you wouldn’t know where the other person is coming from. Only after building trust and security of a long period of time would they be able to communicate without thinking the other person is a liar.

Then there is the Venus Saturn conjunction in Ben’s 12th house. These two definitely had some left-over business from a previous life. There are just too many tight Saturn aspects not to call it Karma!

I think the only reason this relationship has a chance this time around is because they both proved to the world individually that they are great, and they don’t need each other’s approval.

aries: i know this is a hard time for you, aries, but remember: 'tis better to have loved than lost, it's really great, just the best.

taurus: step on a crack, break your mother's back. pick up a phone, break your mother's tailbone. take your coffee with creamer, break your mother's femur. the wizard's spell has gone terribly wrong, and you must not move at all until it is reversed.

gemini: you will meet a tall, handsome stranger. he will introduce himself, you will come to know him well, and he will know you well. he will grow older, his skin will sag and thin. he will no longer be handsome, he will no longer be a stranger. he will no longer be most of the things he once was. he will be a close friend. an old friend. one you've known for years. and with whom you are settling down into that final stretch of life. but he will always be tall. so tall. very, very tall.

cancer: i'm not saying this is bad news, but the stars just say, *screaming noise*. i mean, maybe that's a good sign. right? right?? it's a very inexact science.

leo: today is your lucky day. which is good news, because tonight is your unlucky night. but enjoy this lucky day until the sun goes down. until the very second the sun goes down. and then... and then...

virgo: you should check under your bed before you go to sleep. that way the thing hiding in your closet will think you haven't realized where it is yet.

libra: all eyes are on you. gross! give them back.

scorpio: mars is intersecting with mercury, which means your head is weirdly big for your body. and no one wants to tell you because they don't want you to have the grace of self-awareness. ugh! scorpios...

sagittarius: you worry too much about earthquakes and plane crashes. you're going to die of heart disease or cancer, just like everybody else.

capricorn: stop throwing your money away on expensive cars and nice clothes. the owners of those cars and outfits do not appreciate the crumpled dollar bills you keep throwing on them! and anyway, if you want to throw something away, that's what garbage cans are for.

aquarius: you've been so stressed lately. why not just sit outside tonight, relax, look up at the stars, and know basically nothing about the world you live in.

aires: great great great great grandparents moved here from germany

taurus: 1/32 cherokee princess

gemini: 24% greek

cancer: 5% walgreens gift card

leo: 1/2 scottish 1/2 british

virgo: 1/10 russian

libra: 20% cracker

scorpio: 20% mayonaise

saggitarius: 1/8 irish only in march

capricorn: BEST FRIENDS with a black person so basically black

aquarius: 1/8 italian