#hookapoopalian

2: most prominent features

Ray: super super androgynous/femme, gets mistaken for the wrong genders a LOT, actually eight years old, has a cute kitten purse on a string

Kexen: enormous HUGE GIANT cheekbones, the only real adult in the group, completely incompetent when it comes to practical skills and knowing how to do anything but science tbh

Dan: internalized sexism whoop whoop, hair as red as the blazing sun (but more so), Very Excited by Cool Things such as robots and explosions and his super hot and competent girlfriend, hates nobility and demons with a burning passion nearly as bright as his hair

Allison: skin is slightly metallic bECAUSE SHE IS A ROBOT WHOA, doesn’t understand mortal constructions of gender/etc because SHE IS A ROBOT, super bangin hot, sometimes her arms turn into explosive cannons or swords, has a barcode on her chest, seems detached but is really just Very Shy

Johnny: sexist, racist, u name it, hates magic even more than Dan because of tragic backstory. Good thing his hot demon wife was born without magic!!! Really grubby, doesn’t give a shit about his appearance, Vajra dresses him probably. He’d be a super gross dude if it weren’t for the fact he’s the only one on the team with a solid grasp of ethics

Sylth: Her eyes have two different colors, she’s super cute and a lil pregnant mebbe, she tries to be sweet and supportive but Vajra and Johnny are so dumb and awful sometimes she snaps. She’s a demon but she doesn’t have magic but that doesn’t stop her from being RAD

Vajra: super super SUPER babe, gets hit on ALL the time, v uncomfortable with being hit on/romance/sex (ASEXUAL BABY!!!), covers up his many anxieties by being a fucking asshole, steals shit and threatens people constantly

Forte: wears weird capes and stuff all the time, murders people kinda a lot, kind of a scary daddy. Also he has a scar on his face and wears his hair like some kinda emo kid to hide it

9: a weird quirk

Ray: actually an Extreme Huge Hippie, hates violence, pesketarian probably (at least). this is a big surprise because their dad is a big scary murderer dude

Kexen: well u see after graduating college at like sixteen years old or something because they are a big genius nerd, they went into the forest and holed themselves up in a literal hole in the ground and didnt come out for years, thus causing literally every problem in the story thus far. they’re smart, but…. not smart

Dan: absolutely fucking terrified of doing anything that could even possibly be perceived as feminine ever ever ever, it’s actually kinda hilarious

Allison: enjoys fighting (blowing up) monsters a lot, like a LOT a lot, but freaks out when people discovers she’s a robot (maybe u should not use ur enormous arm cannons HMMMMMM??)

Johnny: is a really super picky eater, despite being in his thirties and basically living off the land his whole life. what an idiot

Sylth: pesketarian, is really actually the boss of the group because the others are Too Stupid, actually incredibly cultured and clever

Vajra: may act like a scary murderer monster, but is actually anxious about literally everything, dreams of being a musician, and can give better makeup tips than anyone

Forte: really imaginative, romanticizes literally everything. his dead wife was a water spirit, so whenever he eats fish he pretends something of her remains within it. its kinda weird tbh

16: favorite food

Ray: strawberries!

Kexen: meatloaf

Dan: chili (NOT curry, he would die probably, it took him far too long to learn the difference)

Allison: water chestnuts (she’s worried that’s weird, it’s not, they’re delicious)

Johnny: pulled pork!

Sylth: egg salad!

Vajra: literally everything, full course meals a plus

Forte: sushi, particularly those which combine the two perfect foods: vegetables and fish