Ok so I need to talk about hoogland and what it implies because. Emmy. Are you fucking okay
That last line especially implies so much to me. She's scared. She's BEEN scared, she seemingly knows what it's like to be on the verge of death and she knows how it feels to have to keep those feelings buried deep down. I have trouble believing that whatever training targent gave her was not traumatic, that she didn't have to do her utter best to survive in that environment.
And normally it was fine, normally she is resigned to it, used to it, even. She lets it happen, because it's supposed to be for the betterment of the cause. For the betterment of humanity. She's too loyal not to.
But not here. Not in hoogland. Something about seeing that ceremony, seeing everyone's casual attitude about endangering a young girl— it pisses her off.
And I would argue she's not just enraged for romilda, she's enraged for herself. She's FURIOUS that anyone would treat a young girl that way, because deep down she's furious that SHE was treated that way.
As much as she forces herself not to think about it and to happily do anything for the cause, as much as she won't allow herself to direct her frustration at targent, she still resents them. I don't think she realized how much she resented them until she saw romilda entering that chapel. Because all of a sudden, she is staring a younger version of herself in the face. She is watching it happen again, but this time, she's in the same position as everyone who stood by and let it happen to her. And she's realizing (consciously or subconsciously) how little of it was ever necessary.
So she gets MAD. And she confronts them.
And what do they say?
"It was for the betterment of the town. It was a necessary sacrifice. You wouldn't understand."
But she DOES understand. Not only has Emmy been in that position, she has been the person saying those words before, she has been the person making those exact excuses. She hears her own past words reflected back in their voices, and it upsets her so much WORSE without even really knowing why. Without knowing why she feels... tricked.
She tells them to stick it.
They find out what's really going on, but it doesn't make a difference. Those men still went through with what they thought they were doing. It doesn't ease her anger.
Once they rescue Romilda from herself, Emmy can't help but feel... odd, when she watches her and Julien interact. Watching this girl she helped get the life she knows she can never have.
But it's... all worth it for the cause.
Right?
