#hippos

There's literally no other megafauna on earth that spends the entire day lounging around in water, mostly just socializing, only to come onto land to feed at night.

I remember when I used to do education programs on hippos, most people assumed they ate aquatic plants, and that that's the whole reason they were in water. Meanwhile, hippos are basically just giant nocturnal cows that eat only grass.

Alien slams the door to their shared cottage closed with a look of horror on their face.

Human, drinking tea: "...So...the "megaherbivore related to cetaceans couldn't be that unsettling, huh?"

Alien: "Human-"

Human: "-I have a name-"

Alien: "Why did you not inform me of their ferocity? That...thing eats plant matter? It can unhinge it's jaw like a 'Kul'ak-valmir', and it's temperament is horrific!"

Human: "Yeaaah...[sips tea] hippos are no joke."

Alien: "A-And the-the speed! The speed of them! Nothing that weighs so much should be allowed to gallop so freely! How anything survives near their domicile is inconceivable!"

Human: "I'll tell ya how they survive...they don't. Fuck. With the hippo."

a beat. silence. a sip of tea. then-

Human: "They're also an invasive species."

Alien: "They what."

Human: "Yeah, a drug lord bought four of them and kept them in Colombia for a while. Then, after he died, they broke out. They almost got to two-hundred before the authorities got the greenlight to use euthanasia and sterilization on 'em. But there's still a few."

Alien: "I-why-what-"

A female common hippopotamus (Hippopotamus amphibius) with her calf in Tanzania, Africa