Book: Little had Jennie known
Pairing: Jennie x You. [GxG]
Warning: Angst
Words count:
Author Note: This imagine is based on the song little do you know and skin. This imagine will be more angsty than happy. SInce I´ve been more into writing about angst instead of fluff, Since life is not a fairytale.
Little do you know, I am breakin´while you fall asleep
Little do you know
i`m still haunted by the memories.
After everything that happened between you and Jennie you still have been haunted by the memories. It still felt like yesterday when you got a phone call by Jennie about her sleeping with another woman. You knew you´ve been broken up since a few weeks. It still hurt though it felt like thousand thorns getting though the heart. Especially because you promised at each other to always come back for each other. Since that´s how much you love each other or at least supposed to be.
You tried not to cry on the phone especially since Jennie could hear the pain in your voice. You know how sympathetic Jennie is and that she will start to cry as well. You thought about muting yourself so she won´t be able to hear you cry. Mostly because you could swallow down your feelings or tears of heartbreak pain. You didn´t know what to say or feel about the situation. You remembered how she told you that she is in love with you. You´ve never doubted her or her words until the phone call. Until you got to know that she slept with another woman on the night to your supposed anniversary. She even slept over at Jennie´s expensive house in South Korea. You´ve been insecure thinking that a woman from her country would be better to date for her instead of you.
At this moment you felt haunted by the memories. You still heard her voice though the phone, her whispered apologies and the sadness in her voice. You thought Jennie was asleep whenever you turned your back towards her when you felt tears rolling down your cheeks, mostly when you cried painfully or silently.
Layin´in my bed a little lonely,
I wanna know how she taste, can you show me
You´ve been crying during the days after break up because of how much you still love her, You won´t have hesitated to take her back anytime and to come back for her.
Now that you know she slept with someone else during the night to your supposed anniversary you wondered how the other woman tasted like. You wondered why she picked her and started something with you. Wasn´t you supposed to be special. Didn´t she say that she is yours only no matter what happens.
I-I-I, I wonder if she knows
That I see her every time
my eyes close
taking off your clothes,
don´t know how to cope
I hate the way my mind is
a bedroom window
I wish my lips were her
lips on your lips
I wish my hips were her
hips on your hips
Didn´t you tell her that I exist
You´ve been seeing the other woman on social media,
since you already knew that Jennie talked to her friendly during your relationship
before the break up. You already had a bad feeling about her at that time. You might have thought that something might have happened, you actually didn´t expect that something would happen between Jennie and the other woman from her country.
You know that it´s okay that Jennie slept with the other woman a few days after your break up and got together with her a few days later. You just wondered why would she cause you pain like that. According to her own words she wasn´t supposed to be in a new relationship since she promised you that you would be her last.
Since you knew about the other woman you couldn´t help yourself from comparing yourself to her. You wondered what the other woman had that you didn´t. You got drunk whenever you felt like crying or whenever Jennie talked about the other woman or even mentions her name. Since you didn´t wanna feel anything. Alcohol helped you to drink your feelings away. It helped you to cope with pain and numbing the sadness.
You caught your brain doubting Jennie sometimes whenever its her phone notifications, mention her name, seeing her react on the other woman´s post or even them following each other. You asked yourself everyday if you are allowed to let your brain doubt her sometimes, your reactions on her name being mentioned, getting scared of a possibility of Jennie getting a notification by her. Jennie reacting on her post or even them following each other.
Little do you know
I´m trying to pick up myself piece by piece
Litlle do you know
I need a little more time
Underneath it all I´m held captive by the hole inside
I´ve been holding back for the fear you might change your mind
I´m ready to forgive, but forgettin´is a harder fight.
You´ve been getting a little bit more clingy and sometimes more distant towards Jennie since you´ve been holding back. You felt captive underneath the fear of Jennie changing her mind and giving the other woman a chance. You´ve been trying to pick up yourself piece by piece in hopes to fix your broken heart, You only need a little bit more time for the harder fight to forget about what happened. You´ve been ready to forgive Jennie completely. You still get captive underneath the fear of possibility of breaking up with you since she has been talking a lot about that subject.
Everything around you was slowly changing for better because every new chapter is a new chance, new opportunities. You wanted to learn how to become better for yourself. At the same time you held hopes that Jennie will always be by yourself. As your girlfriend. Only the future could tell what would happen to you both and what direction your relationship goes into. You only always had four important questions in the back of your mind. Does she love you as much as you love her? is she truly in love with you? most important can she see a futue with you only? does she wants to be yours for the rest of her life? only her actions now and in the future could tell.
