#highchool

like I know I don’t even have it that bad (looking at you America) but it’s such a dawning realisation that this last week I have felt better than in a while despite being awfully sick, because I got to do what I wanted in relative peace.

I don’t want to go back to coming home and being too mentally exhausted to even do what I want to do. I don’t want to go back to the stress of “are they going to check the homework that I hadn’t managed to do?” “had I missed an exam in the calendar?” “I really should have studied at home, I can’t remember shit”

I don’t want to go back to learning about things that I’m not interested in.

angry boi🥴💘

I really want to make a difference to my life. I want to live in a different way. At the moment, something just seems really off. Maybe it’s just the spirit of exams but I really feel like I’m losing myself a little bit. Logically, my life couldn’t be better; I’m doing well academically, I’ve got a job, I’m in a happy relationship, I play football regularly and my family is pretty alright. With all those aspects there some cons and exceptions to some of them.

I’m doing well academically – however I got 55% on my physics exam because I procrastinated my studying. I’ve got a job – however I really need this Friday off but I can’t find anyone to cover. I’m in a happy relationship – however I don’t get to see her as much as I would like to. I play football regularly – however I still feel like I don’t fit in with my team and I don’t know how to deal with that. My family is pretty alright – however my older brother ignores my existence and my mum doesn’t take me seriously.