Liveblogging "Heaven Is For Real." Let's do this.
Wow, calling POC "bums." Great start.
WHAT NO. YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO USE MY SECOND FAVOURITE HYMN.
Oh good, the kid's upset too.
Why did he pray for that guy to go to heaven? Shouldn't he have prayed for him to...you know...not die?
Is she reading them Narnia, or the Bible? It looks like the Bible, but it sounds like Narnia...
Men are sex-obsessed pigs, even in Christian movies.
Yup, she was reading them Narnia.
Wait, that's not a Narnia quote. Are they misrepresenting Narnia to dodge copyright?
The hell is this guy doing getting injured? Why isn't his church doing anything? Just standing and staring...
Uhm. Because we really needed a scene of that guy passing kidney stones. Yup. That's what we needed.
Woman bribes man with sex. In a Christian movie. A family movie.
How can they suddenly afford a vacation, when they just paid his medical bills, and complained about money. Now they're just going off and doing stuff.
Where was this filmed? Everyone seems so rich, but it's middle-of-nowhere Nebraska.
Oh, now you have to hurry? Maybe next time take your kid in when he's severely ill, instead of right before he almost dies.
Dramatic toy drop in slow motion, to signify loss of hope.
Prayer. Oh shut up, you haven't even heard from the doctor yet.
The curly-haired woman looks like Valerie Boyle, but she's not.
That was the shortest almost-death panic scene ever. Then haha, spiders.
Your child just had a near-death experience - let him sleep in bed with you!
When you order a milkshake, you have to say what kind you want.
If your child says they saw heaven, you should assume it was a coma dream.
Nope, just a white dude in dramatic lighting.
The angels won't sing Queen music.
Listen to the psychiatrist, Todd. Science is the way.
How many jobs does Todd have?
That's racist against Barney the Dinosaur.
How about putting your son in another room while you discuss whether there's something wrong with him, and how he almost died?
Jesus would not have blue or green eyes.
Um, creepy unexplained dead twin hug.
Church that believes in crazy stuff doesn't like Todd being slightly crazier than them.
Breaking into a hospital is possible somehow?
Parents act abusive, son feels guilty.
Your grandfather taught you to weld when you were four?! Child abuse!
Todd descends into insanity and obsession
Don't drag Einstein into this!
Does anyone even care about this kid's sister? Nobody shuts up about Colton, and there's Cassie, just sort of existing all by herself.
Did you seriously just pull a "what's loved lived" moment?
What, now we get the creepy twin explanation?
They are definitely not a Church of Christ denomination. They have musical instruments!
Oh come on, put the kids in the next room. They don't need to hear this.
They just referenced fake!Narnia again.
Slow zoom. Piano music. Slow crowd-gathering-around-Todd.
My god, is that the only hymn you got the license for? It was your background music, and now the credits song? Yeesh.
Wait, I thought this was recent? But he's a teenager? I'm confused.
Maybe it was just the book that happened recently...
Whatever. That was uncomfortable. Never again.
