It's been one of the most traumatic things I've ever experienced.
I should have seen it coming in a way, giving this person's dynamic with their nesting partner, but I overlooked that in light of how amazing our connection had been.
I know I should realize someone meant for me would be more committed to living a more authentic and empowered life, but it's been such a blow, and I've been in a dark place.
Thanks.
My heart goes out to you. I think the best advice I can give to others about being vetoed is just be prepared for it when the red flags are there. I know sometimes we gotta take that risk even after seeing the red flags but just always be braced for that impact.
The other thing would be to be patient and give it time. Sometimes a metamour just needs to get through some shit before they can support their partner. Always possible that down the line the relationship can be rekindled. Maybe it wouldn't be worth the pain and the forgiveness won't be there. But sometimes it ends up better than the original relationship.
This isn't a post saying "All vetoes and hierarchies are bad in non-monogamy. " It is a valid form of non-monogamy to consciously choose. But please really consider all the pain and problems it cause when opening up. It often causes more damage than good so talk out as much as possible how they can be avoided or minimized before opening up your relationship.
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Humans are both cooperative and competitive, and any group - from a clique of awkward teenagers to a professional soccer team to a military organization - will establish clear hierarchies. Humans are not indistinguishable and equal worker ants. E. O. Wilson, the Harvard entomologist and evolutionary biologist, is reputed to have said of socialism “Great idea. Wrong species." Any system that is built on a false understanding of human nature is doomed to fail. Building a society where the primary objective is to protect one’s fragile self-esteem from the dangers of competition will only lead to a society of weakness, entitlement, and apathy. Life is necessarily competitive; society is necessarily hierarchical. It does no one any favors to pursue a utopian vision of society where no one’s feelings are hurt.
Gad Saad, The Parasitic Mind (2020) | Chapter Eight, “Call to Action”.
TimeControl uses hierarchies to manage huge volumes of charges
TimeControl uses hierarchies to manage huge volumes of charge codes. This allows organizations with thousands or even tens of thousands of possible charges to be easily displayed and digested by users. Hierarchies are a big differentiator for timekeeping systems.
One challenge we faced when first creating TimeControl were the types of projects that we were presented with. We’d seen other timesheets which could handle a dozen possible charge types on a timesheet. They’re still quite common. That’s not at all what we were facing. Our earliest clients described projects with hundreds, thousands or even tens of thousands of tasks each. One client…
I get asked why I am so against archons, why it matters to resist them and become aware of their existence in the first place…Well it’s an obvious problem when you see archons doing what they do (tormenting & controlling naive humans). Psychological warfare is the what archons do, it is reflected in nearly every facet of society. What is sad is that humans worship suffering and the fear mongering…
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"You know, you'd think that if you spent so much time hustling that you don't have time to cook food, you'd be able to buy food- because you're workin' so hard- but sadly that is not the case. " in regards to getting a ' degree as a way of a better life'
How the hell did you turians ever put up the batarians for nearly two millenia? They've been a blight on the galaxy since they discovered Mass Effect. Slaving other species' colonies, plundering them in acts of piracy, killing entire colonies, destroying lives. It's a remarkable act of mercy from the turians that you didn't put them down. Considering their crimes, I can't say I would have been capable of not doing that... Was I Primarch I'd have subjucated the batarians as a client species.
More on this under the cut.
Well, the hierarchy isn’t exactly in charge.
We’ve been in relations with the Citadel Council as long as we’ve known the batarians, and considering our introduction to the galactic community was met with some of our colonies being obliterated by the Krogan.
The Hierarchy was more concerned with teaching the Krogan why you don’t mess with the Hierarchy, while tactically sending them back to the stone age and neutering them. Don’t tell wrex I said it that way.
The batarians were part of the Citadel community and had an embassy years before the turians, and when we received a council seat after the war turned into a mop up - attacking a member of the community hardly seems like the right choice to make.
Despite it being historically known that the Batarians were up to some shady things on their side of the Galaxy it was never as wide spread as it became post-human contact when they left the Citadel space and devolved into what is was pore-reaper invasion.
For as long as they had an embassy, they kept to themselves, and The Hierarchy was more concerned with assuming it’s role as the muscle of the galactic community.
Then the humans came along, scuffled a bit with the Turians, the turians were mobilizing several battle groups before the asari calmed things down.
The batarians left soon after the humans joined up, and attacking Humanities enemy, while there was still animosity between humans and turians
Just didn’t make sense.
Piracy, slavery, and all that wasn’t in Citadel space, was out of turian law, and wasn’t affecting many turians. Mostly humans.
So I guess if you just look at the Batarians, you might think *why doesn’t The Hierarchy take the noble high road and clean up*but if you look at the big picture you’d realize that doesn’t at all seem the logical thing to do.
If you were Primarch you’d see that.
Oh and we Turians… tend to annihilate their enemies. Not stop at the end and offer truce in exchange for change in race status. “Client races’ - Like the Volus - would only happen when that race agrees to a mutual exchange of skills (turian protection for Volus economy skills).
We stopped short with the krogan only due to salarian technology and asari diplomacy. If it was just the Hierarchy, the krogan would be more extinct than the rachni.
mm as you can see by my rant, there’s a lot more detail and politics involved than just “The Batarians need to go down”
Though… I guess the reapers did that for us, theres only around a hundred thousand of them left. So I doubt many of them will be an issue; especially with no hegemony funding their pirates.
Kind of a somber thought… I certainly don’t see the loss of a race as a plus, but I guess if it makes you happy?
mm, I guess that’s all I have to say about that.
