#heyitsme

I grew up in such a hard mental environment. It's really hard to explain without writing an actual novel, but as I grow and learn more and more in this life, I realize just how off it was. Im learning to see how much it has effected my ability to connect, to have relationships, to want to be seen (currently my biggest obstacle), to parent, to know my value and decide my destiny. I realize how lost or frozen I can sometimes feel when certain things happens or someone says something a certain way. So much distrust, manipulation and broken bridges. This is life, it happens, and I know I am not the only one who has felt this way. But it's added an extra edge to everything I have ever overcome or gone through.

So instead of turning completely off and living in survival mode forever, I have been learning how to just breathe and be h e r e.

I don't do things that dont sit well with my soul, that do not feel right with my life or my family. Period.

I am learning how to speak from my soul, unapologetically. Keeping in mind that our mouths should have three gatekeepers-

is it true?

Is it kind?

Is it necessary?

I am learning what it means to be S E E N. And honestly, the concept is mostly terrifying to me. To let new people in, to put myself out there. Most of us feel that way to some degree, it makes us vulnerabl, so it's understandable.

But this is a deep fear. And I am not really sure why I am writing this, it just felt right, thinking about all of this just now, I instantly wanted to write here. Maybe someone else needs to read it for some reason?? Or maybe I want to be able to reflect back when I overcome this fear too?

either way.

as I chase my own dreams, I keep learning more and more that my soul will guide me. When everything is blurry, and you dont know your left from your right, your world is going crazy, quiet your head, listen to your soul, go with your gut, always, and be grounded in knowing that if it doesnt help you grow, or doesnt make you feel