I recently rollerskated with a couple of friends & skaters in a commercial for a local restaurant.
Just the other night I was wondering when they were going to upload the video.
Today I saw a friend who was a part of it & they sent it to me, we canβt upload it yet but the serious joy !! just to see how it came out ! <333
They mentioned sending the video to their mom and we laughed at how you really gotta make sure they keep it secret despite the excitement, my heart stung a bit.
Later on the thoughts circled,
We donβt have that relationship anymore.
And when I thought about sending it to my friend and her mom, it felt like a stretch.
I honestly donβt know if itβll be back again.
It reminded me of the times where I wasnβt sure who to write down for an emergency contact while signing medical forms.
It stings. I know it wonβt always.
Yet Iβm grateful for now, because throughout this time Iβve connected with friends on a deeper level & right now theyβre my family.
Itβs different because I donβt feel I need to shrink or hide.
Itβs new, itβs still gonna hurt Iβm sure. Maybe just less over time.
In this, itβs the anniversary of my dadβs passing.
I guess itβs a lot at once, I feel my friends pulling some of my weight for me whether theyβre aware of it or now.
They hold me up when I really donβt want to much anymore.
It gets hard to go out, but itβs like they take shifts inviting me places and taking me with them to classes, events, shows, restaurants.
In this, Iβm very fucking lucky & very away that Iβm not alone
And that I mustβve done something right in deserving people like this, while letting go of people I call family but have never felt myself around.
yousharknotpass
ellievsbear
dailybridgerton
jbbartram-illu
prguitarman
baratheonpilled
