I recently rollerskated with a couple of friends & skaters in a commercial for a local restaurant.
Just the other night I was wondering when they were going to upload the video.
Today I saw a friend who was a part of it & they sent it to me, we can’t upload it yet but the serious joy !! just to see how it came out ! <333
They mentioned sending the video to their mom and we laughed at how you really gotta make sure they keep it secret despite the excitement, my heart stung a bit.
Later on the thoughts circled,
We don’t have that relationship anymore.
And when I thought about sending it to my friend and her mom, it felt like a stretch.
I honestly don’t know if it’ll be back again.
It reminded me of the times where I wasn’t sure who to write down for an emergency contact while signing medical forms.
It stings. I know it won’t always.
Yet I’m grateful for now, because throughout this time I’ve connected with friends on a deeper level & right now they’re my family.
It’s different because I don’t feel I need to shrink or hide.
It’s new, it’s still gonna hurt I’m sure. Maybe just less over time.
In this, it’s the anniversary of my dad’s passing.
I guess it’s a lot at once, I feel my friends pulling some of my weight for me whether they’re aware of it or now.
They hold me up when I really don’t want to much anymore.
It gets hard to go out, but it’s like they take shifts inviting me places and taking me with them to classes, events, shows, restaurants.
In this, I’m very fucking lucky & very away that I’m not alone
And that I must’ve done something right in deserving people like this, while letting go of people I call family but have never felt myself around.
jbbartram-illu
prguitarman
baratheonpilled
tangentwithtanner
