For the awesome SMASH event hosted by @tides-that-bind-us !
❖ “All right, give it to us straight, mac. Who are you, and why are you here?”
Titris : Hello, hello ! My name is Titris, and I'm here to do some roughhousing with a bunch of other people! I'm -
Hermin : -the best guard in the Twilight Realm still in activity, blah blah blah, we KNOW. As for me, little feather ball *she points at Oohuu, who's actually the same size as her*, people like to call me The Beast, but since you look nice, you can call me Hermin. That's my name. And I came here to KICK ASSES !!!
⟡ “What has been your experience in training and conditioning for this event?”
T : I didn't do much prep especially for it, but I guess my job helps me stay in optimal conditions !
H : Since our local Granny, I named Macha, supervised my training as soon as I talked about this event, I would not be surprised if the fights revealed themselves easier than what I underwent... But I hope it won't be the case ! 'm looking forward to it !
❖ “Why do you think you have what it takes to be a S.M.A.S.H Champion?”
T : Don't underestimate the Harbringer of Destruction ! As much as it sounds cool, I don't think I'd be called that and not answer the call of battle, even more if it's with no intention to kill each other !
H : Hmpf. Do I even NEED to say why ? Anyhow, if everything let me down -motivation, fun, whimsy of fighting- at last the spite will be enough to make me the winner of the competition.
⟡ “What do you think separates you from the rest of the fighters?”
T : I mean, they're all very diverse of what I see usually...There are even fish people ! How are they not dry yet ??
H : Height. Do I need to elaborate any further ? Aside from my muscles, of course. You won't be getting any of that.
❖ “I see you looking at that roster! Who’s on that list that you’re looking forward to taking on?”
T : Quite the folks ! I'm looking forward to obliterate that Kogoro and this...uh...Mister Powerhouse...? I mean, whatever he wants to be named. And this Chanticlerc- What, Hermin ? No, I didn't heard his interwiew... And ? What did he say of importanc- ...uh...and? ... what?... WHAT??? ....EeeeeEeew. Remind me to never be near that guy. The play on words is good, but that's too fucked up. We're here to make people spit their teeth out, not -eurk. Hum, anyway, not that Chanticlerc, but that Balali guy however ? Sign me up! Defeating a Master isn't an opportunity for everyone !
H : THE BIG ONES !!! There are those orca-guys, the fish-guy with the red tatooes, but I've set my target on Trash ! What? Not Trash? Tresh ! Sorry, guy. That guy looks as excited as me to fight and I can't wait to make him eat his teeth ! Oh but I'm a heel too...I can't go against him then? Oh, it's nothing. I'll see him after the official fights. Hum. If not him, I'll gladly take down that Biyiniao ! Apparently they're missing an arm, so they'll be a very fine challenge !
⟡ “What do you want to say to them?”
T: A question for the Koblin with a mask on his head : do you perhaps want a mask more solid for the fights ? Since it's a random pumpkin, I'm afraid it'll shatter in less time than a mirror reflecting Hermin's image. If you want to, come see us, we may have some spare helmets or masks, more solid, that shoud be adapted to your morphology.
H: The threat known as yours truly will KICK ALL OF YOUR ASSES ! GET YOURSELF READY AND PUT UP GOOD FIGHTS ! Because I will.
❖ “How do you see that match going? What’s your strategy for going in?”
T : A strategy ? People make plans before roughousing ?
H : My master plan is very simple. See, little I step on the ring, salute my opponent, take the time to appreciate how cool they might be, and then ANNIHLIATE them ! Oh, it's going to be so much fun ! I hope you guys will be VERY hard to beat !
⟡ “Is there anyone on there you’re afraid of taking on?”
T : Chanticlerc. For...reasons.
H : I mean, usually, I'm used to hunt birds, but that one is kind of strange. I'm not going even try to take a bite, he seems...well... [this part of the interwiew, deemed untranslatable and we do not want to translate those swears as creative as they may be.]
❖ “And what do you want to say to THEM?”
T : If you try to talk to my like that, fighting against me or not, I will make you eat your abscence of teeths.
H: Hum, yeah, I'm with Titris on that. As long as you stay in a normal behaviour, I'll gladly fight against you !
⟡ “Anything you want to say to your fans?”
T : "To my bosses, because I know they're my biggest fans, get your pocket money ready 'cause remember that you owe me ten rupees each if I win everything! I'll take it in local currency, thank you very much. For the rest of you, I LOVE YOU GUYS !!! "
H : "To Gwenhadu, my brother : get ready to do my special victory crepe once I get back, because I am going to SMASH this competition to the floor !! Please let know Macha that I'm going to kick asses thanks to her...and as for you, little Engoulvent- sorry, Nightjar - what do you mean you're not an Nightjar ? You're Nyctibius, yes ? Then what- a pootoo, you say ?"
