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And the final chapter of Do Bots Dream of Electric Lives, which will lead into the start of season eight. And perhaps that ending bit will sound vaguely familiar to people who know.
Grian ended up winning Third Life. On the one hand, it was nice he won and just managed to get so far in the first place. On the other hand, it meant he took the longest to return. And when he did return, it was with Scar, something that didn’t really make Grum all too happy. It was even worse when Scar was brought along when Grian did show up, the two were even holding hands when they entered the room. Sure, they almost immediately stopped, Grian probably just dragging Scar along or perhaps the other way around, but Grum didn’t like it either way.
“Well you sure took your time!”
“You know I couldn’t just let myself die, Timmy” Grian argued back as he looked Grum over extensively.
“His name is Jimmy, Dad.” Grum complained, and he would have crossed his arms if one of them wasn’t being looked over at that moment.
“Oh I know that, I’m just teasing him.” Grian said, then finished up with Grum and moved onto his brother. “Have you two had any more issues? Any at all?”
“No? I don’t think so?” Jrum answered before giggling. “That tickles!”
“Speak for yourself.” Grum said, glaring towards Scar and crossing his arms. Grian was concerned for a moment, ready to hear something more important before he followed Grum’s gaze and frowned.
“Grum, Scar and I were sort of… we went through a lot during Third Life. And the way it ended-”
“What did happen anyway?” Jimmy asked, getting an explanation from Scar regarding Bdubs and the clock and then the betrayal and finally the fight within the cactus ring before Grian jumped off the desert mountain. “Oh, well that sure was a lot. Uh, is it okay if I go catch up with Scott, or should I stick around.”
“I guess you could go.” Grum spoke up. “But make Scar leave too!”
“Grum isn’t the biggest fan of Scar.” Grian quickly explained before Grum started to rant about how Mumbo should have been mayor. Jimmy got the hint and pulled Scar along as he left the room, something Grum appreciated. “Well, is there anything actually important that was an issue?”
“Well, I’m not sure if it’s an issue for them…” Mumbo started to speak up. “But you probably won’t be the happiest about it.”
Grian narrowed his eyes and started to open his mouth to ask what Mumbo meant before he noticed the box in Mumbo’s hand and quickly put the pieces together. “Mumbo! I was waiting for a better time for that!”
“I know, but it seemed connected and you weren’t around so this was the best we could manage.”
Grian huffed before Jrum tugged on his sweater to get his attention. “Dad, are we really Watchers like you?”
Grian looked conflicted before finally answering. “Yes, at least, sort of I think. You’re not exactly like me or the others, just, when making you I guess I sort of used a little bit of magic I had from my Watcher days, which is probably why you two are as, uh, sentient as you are.”
“Why didn’t you mention it already?” Grum asked, wondering why it had been kept from them.
“Well, at the very least the two of us didn’t know until your birthdays. Well, the celebration that is, not your actual birthdays.” Mumbo piped up. “These masks appeared with your presents and we just sort of… set them aside for later.”
“I was planning on telling you two on our way to season eight since it’s going to take a while to get there.” Grian admitted. “I wanted you two to end the season without this hanging over your head, then talk about it on the way and give you all that time to sort of… process it while we were travelling.”
“Well, we kinda still can, right?” Jrum asked. “I mean, we just just sorta pretend we didn’t know, and then you can tell us all about it then! We just know we’re gonna talk about it later now instead of it being a surprise.”
“I guess that is one way of looking at it, right Grian?”
Grian took a moment to think it over before looking over to Grumbot. “Well, what do you think about it? You’ve been affected by it a bit more than your brother, at least based on what he told me before.”
“Um, okay. It seemed like it was sort of happening because I was missing you.” Grum admitted. “But can you still stay here for a little while?”
Grian nodded and came over to Grum, hugging him. Jrum quickly jumped on top of the pair to join the hug as well, and Mumbo was pulled in shortly for a big group hug. Grian was able to talk about a few highlights of Third Life, also getting the chance to explain to Grumbot just why exactly he and Scar had ended up as a team, which the robot begrudgingly accepted as an answer.
.
.
.
“That is… a very big ship.” Grum said while looking at the thing currently floating in the ocean around the cowmercial district.
“Yeah, I sort of said the same thing when I saw it the first time. And this isn’t even the full ship, just this season’s piece.”
Sitting in the ocean was the Hermitheus, the ship that took the Hermits between seasons and even carried along certain landmarks from each season, as sort of trophies or whatever. Currently what was present was only a fraction of the whole spaceship, a label printed on the hull listing it as the ‘S7’ piece. A few hermits were loading in some of the landmarks, like the entire town hall.
“I thought other people could visit the world after us. Aren’t they going to be upset at missing stuff?”
“No, not really.” Mumbo started as he walked up, having finished with helping to pack up the last piece of the barge. “The world others visit is a sort of… duplicate of this one, not the real one. It’s to make things a little safer. If we tell everyone that the other world is the one we use, then it makes it harder for er, certain people to learn where we’ve gone.”
“Why would we need to hide that?” Jrum asked, poking his head out from the shulker boxes of the items he and Grum had packed. “We’re just moving.”
“Well, Hermitcraft is pretty well known.” Grian started to explain. The bots already knew how the hermits filmed their exploits to share to others for entertainment, but not some of what came from that. “And not everyone is the nicest. There are some people who would probably want to make a mess of things. Like, imagine if there were hundreds of Evil Xisumas who would want to get into Hermitcraft.”
“Hey, I heard that!” A voice came from the Hermitheus piece as Evil X poked their head out from the bay doors. “I at least have tact when it comes to messing with all of you. Those pieces of-” “Children!” “-fine, those POSes would like to do things far worse than I.”
“Worse than you?” Grum asked, confused. He knew from Jrum that Evil Xisuma’s whole evilness wasn’t the most standard, and that they had a soft side, but he didn’t imagine they would admit it so easily.
“Yes, I’m sure you’re very surprised such a thing exists, but there are some crimes that even I look down upon. There are certain people who don’t like to treat hybrids as regular players. Then there’s the divide between players from regular worlds and those from modded worlds. And don’t get me started on what speedrunners have become these days! Turning it into some stupid competition instead of potential lives being on the line, those imbeciles!”
“Ooo I wanna know about that on the way!” Jrum exclaimed, starting to run towards the ship before doubling back to pick up boxes.
“Man, I can’t figure out why Xisuma thought he'd be safe to bring along. His vibes just don’t feel right man.”
Grum jumped at the new voice before looking at who spoke. He recognized the owner of the voice, but only because of the descriptions he had gotten from his dad in the past. “Uh, are you Renbob?”
“That I am lil dude. And I guess you’re supposed to be Grumbot. Nice to meet you man. We made sure to trick out the ship with enough space for you and the other two. Though Evil Xisuma and his own friend were sort of last minute additions.”
“And his friend?” Mumbo asked. “Xisuma said his brother would be the only other addition.”
“Well tell that to the other guy they dragged along who’s up at the main portion, man. Keeps asking a lot of technical questions. Stuff about virus protections and simulated realities, man.”
“I see.” Mumbo said, looking a little worried. “Um, would they happen to look like Grian, or-”
“Nah, more of a piglin or something similar, man. At least the dude is getting along alright with my compadre on the controls.”
“Oh, speaking of other people.” Grian spoke up, cutting off the current conversation on who Grum assumed was likely Prof. “Have you already picked up the other new hermits, or is that going to be next?”
“We did that part first, man. Already inside the main ship, so you’ll see them when we’re all finished here. Only reason the evil dude is here is because his friend insisted on it. Couldn’t tell you why though.”
Grum didn’t really listen to the rest, noticing Jrum waving him over. Grum picked up the rest of their shulker boxes and carried them inside, Jrum pointing him towards a ladder. He followed behind and climbed up to a balcony overlooking the storage for the season seven builds. On a piece of the balcony was an area for Grum and Jrum’s shulker boxes, even being labeled as such. Once they were placed down, the two followed further listed instructions and placed a net over the boxes, strapping it down to the floor immediately afterwards.
Before long, the other hermits joined on the ship, the bots finding their way to their dads. Grum made sure to keep a careful eye on Evil Xisuma though, and was glad to see he was nearby Xisuma. There were a few stragglers that everyone had to wait for of course. Iskall arrived and proclaimed they had finally placed all the leaves on their base, getting some cheers from the hermits. Jevin was also a little late, and looking a bit green. Not so much in the sense that he looked sick, but more that he looked more like a regular slime. Grum could see a few hermits ask about it, but he seemed to brush it off, and Grum wasn’t sure if the way Evil X seemed to suddenly be acting meant anything.
But he didn’t have time to think about it long, as Renbob gave one last announcement and warning before the ship piece took off to reconnect with the main ship. Once it did and the shutter at the one end of the ship piece opened up to the rest of the main spacecraft, Jrum was off to explore, Grum following behind.
As the other hermits made their way in that direction, the bots looked out over the balconies of the other season segments, looking at the builds brought along. Jrum was happy to point out Sahara as well as Concorp in the season six area, knowing enough about the two to get excited upon recognizing them. The stuff in the older seasons was less familiar, having heard more about the previous season rather than anything before that. Though technically, season seven was now the previous season.
At the end of the piece of the first season was the main portion of the ship. It had what seemed to be some living quarters as well as navigational systems. But a little more exploring led the bots to find the engines or whatever equivalent the ship had, plus a hangar that seemed to have a tricked out RV. But one thing the bots didn’t find was any area for places to pass the time.
“Hey Daddy? What do you guys do on the way to the next season? Do you go exploring in the old stuff? Or is there some place we didn’t see?”
“Oh, um, well…” Mumbo hesitated. “See those sort of… pod things in the main room?” Mumbo pointed and Grum and Jrum both looked over before looking back and nodding. “See, we sort of use those to… kind of sleep most of the way there. It makes things seem to go faster, but we also don’t stay in there the whole trip of course. Just for extended periods of time. We do try to plan things so that it won’t be just one of us… awake at a time. Oh this is a little hard to explain. Probably easier when we actually do it.”
“Will it work for Jrum and I since we’re robots?” Grum asked, and by the look on Mumbo’s face, it seemed he didn’t know. So, because of that, Grum walked over to the pair of people who stood at the controls, one he recognized, one not so much.
“Oh! H-hello th-there.” Prof spoke, before apologizing for his speech. “S-sorry. B-bad day.”
“It’s okay!” Jrum assured him before looking at the other person. “Who are you supposed to be.”
“I’m the Goat Father.” They answered in a gruff voice. “Now what do you want?”
“Oh, well, we’re just wondering if those sleep things will work on us at all?” Jrum pointed toward the pods. “Since we’re kinda robots and not, like, normal players.”
The Goat Father looked Grum and Jrum over for a moment before Prof wrote something on his clipboard and showed it to him. “Yes, it will work on you two. You two simply have special ones to use. Not out of the ordinary though. Some of the other hermits are… special cases as well.”
“How do we know which ones are ours?” Grum asked before being taken over to two pods. They weren’t next to each other, so Grum then asked why that was.
“They’re placed within alphabetical order based on the legal names of all the hermits. You’re listed under Grumbot_System, which leaves you after Grian and before Hypnotizd, meanwhile Jrumbot is placed between joehillssays and Keralis1.”
Jrum started counting through the pods, then paused just before reaching the one that was supposed to be Grian’s. “Why isn’t that one Grum’s?”
Prof gestured to the one two before that, the Goat Father giving the actual explanation. “That one there belongs to one of the new hermits that will be joining you in season eight. More specifically, Geminitay. The other hermit will be-”
“Pearl!” The bots turned towards their dad, who had shouted the name. They turned at just the right time to see Grian fly right into an unfamiliar person, tackling them to the ground with a hug, wings flapping in joy. “I’m so glad to see you! Oh! You need to meet the boys! Grum, Jrum, come over here and meet Pearl!”
.
.
.
“Now, I can just place this here and- Ow! Hey!” Evil Xisuma turns around after being slapped by a clipboard. “What was that for?!”
Prof doesn’t answer and merely smacks Evil X again, making him growl. “D-Don’t do it.”
“And let a plan like this go to waste? Absolutely not. You and NPG already ruined the other one. Plus even if I could salvage it, the Hermits already plotted out the world they’re using for their upcoming season, so I can’t really make any changes to the navigation.”
“Th-they l-l-l” Prof started before getting frustrated and writing on his clipboard, turning it around and shoving it in Evil’s face.
“Yes, and letting me join them is their mistake!” They said, shoving the clipboard away. “Honestly why my brother is this trusting is anyone’s guess. You would think- What now?!”
Prof had written more on the clipboard and forced Evil X to read it, pointing over to the pods where the hermits were currently stationed. More specifically he pointed at three pods in particular, which Evil X did look over before scoffing.
“Then I’ll leave them out of it. The rest can suffer just fine.” Prof whacked EX with the clipboard again before pointing to a few more hermits. “Ow! Okay look maybe I could keep those few out of it as well and-” Prof pointed to even more. “Stop that! If I cared about what every hermit thought about the others, I wouldn’t do anything. Sure, NPG likes those two well enough because they’re family… and then their parents being hurt would upset them, and their friends being in the same scenario, but it would just completely snowball from there!”
“Th-then d-don’t d-do it!”
“X-Xannes-”
“Shut the fuck up! Or I’ll make sure what happened to you is permanent this time regardless of whatever robotics you add!”
“...”
“Shit… I didn’t mean-”
“I-it’s ok-kay. I’m not s-stopping y-you g-going bec-cause y-you need t-time out of h-hels. I a-also h-heard that th-the world is a n-newer o-one.”
“It’s- Who cares, I’m out of practice anyway.”
Evil Xisuma flinched as a hand was placed on his shoulder. “D-do that. And a-at l-least try. I-I’ll h-handle h-h-hels j-just f-fine. A-and NPG c-can b-b-be helpf-ful when h-he needs t-to be.”
“Fine, whatever. You win for now. At least for now I won’t add in the virus. But no promises I won’t try mid season when you’re not around.”
Prof nodded before turning at the same time Evil X did, both hearing approaching footsteps.
“Hey mans, hope neither of you were messin’ up any of the controls because the goat wouldn’t like that at all, man.” Prof wrote on his clipboard before showing it off to Renbob. “‘I was making sure they didn’t mess with anything.’ Aw great, nice to hear dude. And it looks like we’re still on a great schedule. Man, this new season should end up going great. So many new hermits, right my man?”
“I will tear your face off and eat it if you keep calling me that.”
“Hey no worries, just had to say something. Is dude gender neutral enough for you?”
“...”
“D-Don’t”
“Shut up!” and Evil X stormed off, flipping both people off before stomping towards the various season ship segments to go sulk.
So I’ve joined the Hels brainrot, apparently, and Red and Lelia insist I share.
So, hermitblr, please enjoy my Hels!Doc and Hels!Ren.
Professor: Doc’s Hels, a human (or at least human-looking, but probably not actually human, who knows what he is) with no cybernetics whatsoever. Mad scientist black hair, dresses in sharp three piece suits. If you call him “Prof” he will find ways to make you die. Painfully. Favorite weapon: fire charges, fire is fun. Also redstone death machines. Likes to hum while he’s working, always up to rattle on about what he’s working on, in the most annoying way possible. Thinks Doc is wasting his talents breaking the game when he could be having fun causing havoc in the Hermits’ player codes. (“I don’t break games, I break people.”)
Wardog: Ren’s Hels. Dresses in cool-toned colors like black, gray, and purple, wears jeans, combat boots, suspenders, a button up shirt, and a leather jacket. Also has rimless eyeglasses and slicked back dark hair. His cybernetics are on his left side and include a mechanical heart—he was Prof’s first foray into cybernetics and so sometimes they don’t function quite right (and you don’t want to be around when they’re malfunctioning, he gets murdery when he’s cranky) Is the only one to survive calling Professor “Prof” without having to respawn afterward. Favorite weapon: anything that gets the job done. About the only trait he shares with Ren is his penchant for drama.
These two are practically joined at the hip—if you only see one, look behind you, because the other one is probably there and you don’t want to 2v1 these guys, they fight dirty. Insult one, you insult both, and they will take revenge. War is the plotter and planner of their schemes, Prof is the executioner—often literally.
Haven’t drawn these guys yet, my skill level is not to the point where I can do them justice. Hopefully soon!
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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im thinking that hels!doc would be some sort of nearly complete robot, but with a few organic parts, like one of his eyes for example? I also think that said organic parts would be piglin. i think that would be a cool.
if there was a hels!doc what would his name be? throw me some ideas because im stumped
