one good memory || Derek Hale, Peter Hale || drabble
For Sam, the lovely hellosterek.
Derek doesn't have many good memories of Peter. It's not as if Peter had terrorized him as a child, but he wasn't around a lot when Derek was growing up.
That was his mother's choice, to keep Peter away.
He lived in an apartment downtown and he lived a flush life--expensive Italian leather and overpriced electronics had always been par for the course with him.
Until Derek became a teenager, he only saw Peter on the big holidays and occasionally for a few minutes on full moon nights before Peter joined the run and Derek went into the basement.
What he remembers about Peter as a child is laughter and jokes and his mother's wry grin. He remembers gifts of video games and devices he never played and gag gifts he didn't understand.
What he remembers about Peter in the years before he became a teenager, is that Peter was the joke wrapped in gold.
When Derek turned thirteen and joined the first full moon run, he ran alongside his uncle. He remembers the thrill of it, the exhilaration of running with pack at his side. It's one of his favourite memories from before the fire, that first time.
But it's not the best memory of Peter before the fire that he has.
He remembers his fifteenth birthday, feeling dwarfed by the holiday and oddly lonely because of it. He remembers Laura's voice, loud and giggly. He remembers Cora's whine, shrill and annoying. He remembers his mother laughing with the Alpha from a visiting pack, a man whose name Derek hadn't bothered to learn.
He remembers opening the presents under the tree in the morning and wishing his birthday was on Halloween instead.
And he remembers Peter. Peter sitting in the overstuffed armchair in the library, a glass of expensive red wine in one hand and a thick book in the other. He remembers escaping to the library to hide and pretend that it really wasn't his birthday but just Christmas.
And he remembers this. Derek remembers Peter calling him over, with a raised eyebrow. Derek remembers perching on the arm of Peter's chair and leaning over to see the book. He remembers Peter saying happy birthday in Spanish, and then giving Derek a sip of his wine like he's an adult. He remembers his uncle reading from the book in his lap in French with Derek repeating the words back because he shared his love of languages.
Derek remembers Peter treating him like an adult, like it was his birthday that was important and not the holiday it happened to fall on.
Derek remembers Peter sharing something with him that no one else ever had understood about himself, and that's why it's his best memory of his uncle.
When he finds out that Peter is the Alpha, Derek revisits that memory and feels a guilt so deep he can't reconcile it with himself.
If Derek had visited more often, read to Peter in Mandarin or Polish, would Peter have been able to stave off the anger that broke open his rage?
When he slices his claws against Peter's throat, he remembers his fifteenth birthday and wishes that he could have that Peter back.
And one day... Derek does.
Peter is still broken. His mind is still warped. He's still manipulative and dark.
But Peter pushes it back with witty remarks and sassy retorts, conversations in French and crude jokes in Spanish.
Peter isn't perfect. He's messed up, and Derek knows that he probably always has been.
Sometimes, Derek hates Peter like burning.
But sometimes? Sometimes Peter makes Derek feel like someone understands him. And sometimes, that’s enough.