#hellomyguru

honestly tho i really cannot picture him as being from any other part of the u.s and i think his outfit to the disco really screamed MIDWEST which i liked because headcanons yknow?? i got ‘em. it validated them for me. thanks, costume department

diego said klaus fell down the stairs, while wearing grace’s heels, and broke his jaw which was wired shut for eight weeks. and it could just be a funny little sibling story like the ‘licking a battery to get pubes’ one but.. that one didnt feel weird the way the broken jaw one did. the battery story is funny, not even two lines said in passing, and it doesn’t feel like it needs to be any more than that. like.. i dont have any questions, i dont need to know more about the story. it just is. 

but the broken jaw story… mmm… it doesn’t feel like that. it doesn’t feel like a funny little story, even when diego tries to make light of it because of klaus’s silence. and it leaves a bad feeling after. the first time i heard it i came away uneasy and with questions - and that could just be me, i’ve seen a fic or two with the angle i’m heading towards here but it doesn’t seem to be a popular hc?? but also i could just be missing a lot of posts lmao 

anyway

the hc hill i find myself sitting on is more like a few hcs that all stem from the same main one - which is this:: reginald caused klaus’s broken jaw. klaus was wearing grace’s heels, yeah - that’s very him, but instead of tripping i think reginald caught him and either 1. pushed him down the stairs or 2. hit him hard enough he fell OR 3. klaus did trip down the stairs but it didnt break his jaw - reginald, appearing at the bottom of the stairs, hits him hard enough with his cane to break his jaw. i think all three are possible and they all would leave.. pretty much zero evidence. cuz even if hitting klaus left a mark.. once he hit the floor, once he broke his jaw, it could just be chalked up to being caused by the fall/”fall” yknow?? 

i just feel like there’s something darker missing from the story - diego finds it funny, from his perspective it would be - clumsy klaus. klaus? doesnt find it funny. and sure he’s already down because of vietnam but he does express other feelings later in the episode so he could’ve at least acknowledged diego. but he didn’t. idkidk i feel like i’m not explaining myself very well?? i know what i’m trying to express here - my hcs and my reasoning - but its just… not coming out entirely perfect? but whatever - i at least managed to explain the basics of so i guess that’s good enough ;sdfl;slk if anyone has questions or wants to talk more about this literally just reply/reblog/send an ask - i am always game to talk about this (the umbrella academy) shit

OH! and the second hill i sit on, which i’m including in this post bc its kinda related, is one i know a lot of people are also on and that is that his broken jaw was his first experience with drugs and where he learned that he could make the spirits go away. whether his injury was truly an accident or something worse, the drugs he was put on to deal with the pain triggered the start of what would be an 18/19-ish year spiral. and nobody ever pieced that together, no matter how obvious it should’ve been - either right away or when things started getting out of control. but people are naive, ignorant, blind and nobody took it seriously until it was too late

but THAT is a whole separate thing for another time bc i could honestly vent forfuckingever about the years between klaus starting with alcohol and drugs and him leaving the academy. i could also vent forever about the years AFTER the academy too, if im being honest. its something i spend a lot of time thinking about so i’ve got hcs but also things that i just think could be possibilities but i dont necessary consider them hcs? what im saying is i could vent forever about klaus just in general. love of my goddamn life

So if you've been keeping up with my bullshit you know that for the last few weeks, along with doing my research, I've been trying to hunt down somebody to tattoo my palms - but this state is full of losers who straight up refuse for a variety of reasons. Whatever. It's been a frustrating time

klaus’s dancing? the most klaus thing to ever klaus next to his fashion sense

dave’s dancing? the cutest fucking thing w hat even are those moves

klaus is all flowy and open and feelin it and dave is an awkward wiggly worm 

they contrast each other in so many ways, so many perfect ways, but the difference in their dancing has gotta be like.. the most subtle?? or maybe its just my dumbassery idk but i never gave their dancing in that scene a thought until a couple of days ago and now im like yEAH HEY. THEY WERE BOTH AWKWARD BUT DIFFERENT ABOUT IT. they approached dancing differently, as they did all things, and on anyone else it would be uncomfortable to watch but it was so natural and fitting that it didnt draw attention?? like?? i mean everything about them is like one gayass soulmate puzzle, they fit together in all the ways, but idk just something about the differences in their moves on the dance floor and then the way they react to bumping into each other during?? 

did klaus know about dave’s feelings before then?? did dave HAVE feelings the- yeah no of course he did. did dave know about klaus’s feelings?? i go with No. but by like 2 hours into that night he sure will. hcs:: their first night out with the squad was a few months in, they were friends with crushes on each other but they’re both hopeless and scared - yeah even klaus is scared bc dave fucking matters and he doesn’t want to risk his safety just bc klaus is like 95% sure he’s in love. maybe 100%. he’s the All In type. did dave know about the future or klaus’s powers before that night?? again - i go with No. but i imagine it wouldnt take long for klaus to open up after he learns that dave is serious and doesnt want him just for some fun (a strange concept to klaus but dave is an angel. hello yes i’d like to report all of my depressing klaus hcs regarding his past “relationships”…) does dave believe klaus?? fucking. duh. is there a fic out there where he finds out and doesnt believe klaus?? probably fucking not. because  dave was voted Most Supportive Boyfriend eight years in a row and i will stand by all of this until the day i pretend to die 

so how is that relevant to the start of the post?? im not gonna lie, fam, i do not know. i have lost track of what i’m talking about like seven times already but there was a point in here… somewhere…. 

YAH 

OKAY

were klaus and dave dancing the way they were because they were aware of each others feelings?? how many eye-gaze-athons did they have leading up to that moment in the middle of the dance floor after bumping into each other? sidenote: dave wasnt even really near klaus before that, he kind of just.. was suddenly there. almost like he did it on purpose… hmmmm. why did they act and react the way they did after turning to face each other?? was it just a moment of drunken staring or was it one of those life-destroying ‘i laid my eyes on you and couldn’t breathe bc im love you so much and you’re beautiful’ kind of stares?? does it matter?? not really but that will never stop me from wondering. do i have a personal hc about it?? always. im calling it a cheesy in-love moment, folks, they were drunk but not drunk enough to be unaware of each other.  do i call klave a ‘love at first sight’ otp?? Y E S. ABSOLUTELY. 

hhhhhh in conclusion 

they took to each other instantly 

they cared about each other

they loved each other

they were attracted to each other (keeping my sex hcs to myself)

they were aware of each other every second they were at that disco 

that was some 1960′s gay mating ritual shenanigans 

and it worked 

because eVERYTHING ABOUT THEM WORKS. I WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO SHIP KLAUS WITH ANYONE ELSE I AM TOO ATTACHED TO LIKE 2 MINUTES OF A NEARLY YEAR-LONG RELATIONSHIP WHERE ONE HALF IS NOW A GHOST (THEY STILL IN LOVE THO) 

my tags on this post::  #HELL YEAH HELL YEAH #more pride hcs!!! noice!!#i love these sfm#like klaus always taking part no matter how bad shit is bc HIS PEOPLE!!! and ben trying to punch picketers and homophobes is fucking adorbs#and i would kill (whoop) for the day klaus makes ben corporeal during pride and ben can punch all the people and then disappear#vanya’s is cute. come to the light darling!!#and diego fksgjf okay listen whether one hcs him as bi or not this is 1000% something he’d do either way#he’s supportive!!! and he has lgbtqa+ family!!! and nobody gets to be mean to his family but him!!#see also:: the first year after the apocalypse is avoided five decides to tag along when klaus saying he’s taking dave to#his very first pride. he not only enjoys himself but he learns a lot and either then or over the course of the following weeks figures his#own labels out - bc i hc five as asexual and i just have a thing for klaus being the all knowledgeable one about something for once#and his siblings learning about gender and sexuality from him and maybe discovering something new about themselves along the way!#except luther. he’s a cis hetero and we all know it#but maybe he learns to be a good ally. maybe#i mean probably not but whatever#allison is the only other person in the family who i’d even consider calling straight#bc there’s nothing wrong with being straight and i just.. dont have another label that i think fits her really well#so yeah ive got gender and sexuality hcs for them all flgkscndn happy pride month bitches

my tags on this post:: #’you’re telling me this happens every year?? for a whole month??!’ #actually i need every possible concept of dave experiencing pride month and seeing how far things have come for gays#like rainbow shit everywhere#and of course the legalization of gay marriage#out and proud gay politicians and gay people in positions of power#the amount of support that comes when homophobic shit happens now#homophobia isnt the accepted norm anymore#another thing i like is the concept of - either during pride or just in general - dave being excited to learn about the community as a whole#his boyfriend is a nonbinary pansexual and klaus has explained before what those words mean but dave wants to really understand#we stan a supportive and loving couple#dave has a lot to learn in 2019 but i think this stuff would be the most important and have the most effect on him yknow??#shit isnt perfect but its better and now he can work on getting passed the environment he was raised in#so he can hold klaus’s hand in public and kiss him around other people without panicking and eventually he proposes because HE FUCKING CAN#HE CAN DO THAT. HE CAN JUST.. ASK HIS BOYFRIEND TO MARRY HIM. LEGALLY.#good fucking shit

my tags on this post:: #did you see the state of the sky in the apocalypse?? there’s a chance he really wouldnt have noticed#i mean like yeah it could be a funny plothole#but there could also be reasons for why thats not something he noticed#or idfk man timeline shit#maybe the moon didnt explode the first time around#maybe it did and there’s just another moon somehow some way#maybe he didnt notice bc he was first too scared and then too frenzied and angry probably and then he had shit to focus on and math to do#and then dolores wanted to go on dates to the local wine cellars and flat empty areas that used to be parks and then there was spending days#in the library together like having a girlfriend is a lot of work okay#maybe five just didnt have the time to slowdown and consider things like space#maybe his headspace was too fucked#sometimes you just forget about the moon - i know i do!#so sfgksncjf okay y e ah

my tags on this post:: #YES!!! #yes yes yes #okay #so#everytime someone mentions or even hints at dave having anger issues i wanna fucking cheer bc thats one of my biggest hcs for him#like yeah he’s sweet and gentle and respectful and all that - genuinely a good man - our lil jewish gay#BUT#he did grow up in the 50s and 60s which as op said would have surrounded him with a lot of toxic masculinity. now i dont think he would be#a toxic kind of masculine AT ALL but it definitely would have forced him to hide his emotions and feelings and idk hobbies and of course his#sexuality. and i say hobbies bc there isnt a canon answer for it i dont think but i personally hc dave as being someone who loves art#specifically: drawing. dave keeping a lil sketchbook and some pencils under the pillow on his cot in vietnam?? yes please#so anyway yeah - he wouldnt have really had any good examples of how to properly take care of your anger - although he has enough#heart and common sense to know its really fucking wrong to take it out on women and children and people one is dating WHICH - another hc i#have that ties into this is that somehow his dad found out that he’s gay and beat the crap out of him over it. because unfortunately thats a#thing that happens. so his main male example was an abusive pos. and then he goes to vietnam which is fine because its not like he has#anyone stateside that will miss him - that will talk to him anymore - and its a warzone so there are a lot of ways to work out your anger#and yeah that of course includes bar fights. and he does - usually - try and keep a hold on his anger until he’s away from anyone who might#feel threatened - and he doesnt wanna end up taking out an innocent on accident - but he’s not actually perfect and so sometimes he fails#and it happens around klaus one time and seeing his love’s reaction - the making himself smaller - trying to hide - going quiet and so#clearly afraid - and not just afraid but afraid OF HIM - freezes him to the core where he stands because nobody has ever reacted like that#before. or if they have he never noticed or cared because they didnt matter. but this is klaus. his klaus. who he loves and would never do#anything to hurt him. his klaus who he protects and defends and knows he wants to spend his life with - no matter how impossible it is#he wants to go to klaus and apologize - try to undo the damage done simply by him raising his voice and lashing out - but he doesnt know#what to say or how to say it - he doesnt know what to do with the situation honestly. so he leaves the tent and goes to take his renewed#anger and frustration out on whatever he can find so he can calm down and hopefully get into the right headspace to have whats#no doubt going to be a really hard conversation with his boyfriend. because where do you even start??#but of course they talk it out and dave promises to work on his anger and on how he lets it out and yknow.. its dave so klaus trusts him and#it takes some time - there are some incidents - but dave works hard and learns a lot from klaus - including how to unlearn a lot of shit he#grew up with - and its rough but having a partner from the future who breaks all kinds of barriers definitely helps#so y eah. those are my brief feelings on it and i wanna marry op 

my tags on this post::   #!!!!!!!!!!!! #YES #i adore this post#i could never pinpoint why the introduction on the bus made me feel like That but this is it!!#its just so sweet and innocent - even surrounded by other soldiers in the middle of a warring country#the innocence and unbearable fucking adorableness of their first convo on that bus just… its so bright and lovely it makes everything else disappear#the only thing that matters is the two guys getting to experience that ‘o h’ moment for the first time in their lives bc their childhoods#never let them have that #i assume#bc like op said klaus didnt go to a regular school and he wasnt p much stuck in that house and then he was on the streets so#and for dave like.. i guess he could’ve had that moment in school? but it would’ve been one-sided and he never would have#told anyone. 1960s. gay jewish man. yeah.#they’re each others first (and only) loves and i just really fucking adore that and live off of posts about them 

my tags on this post:: #what if he wasnt dead-dead though???#bc like… the day five found them all dead was apparently the day the apocalypse happened right? so its not like they’d been dead for days#weeks or w.e yknow??#and the time between klaus dying and coming back is varying and undetermined - there’s no canon timing for the length of his deaths#so what if he came back to life??#like okay i know its not really possible in canon bc five buried them i think?? or is that a fanon thing??#i cant remembering #anyway#but still - in general klaus not being permanently dead in the apocalypse is another possibility#and five didnt know about it bc after finding them all he began his 45 year journey#and klaus wakes up alone and essentially has to learn to survive and he doesnt know five was ever there bc..well.. yeah#five is long gone#maybe klaus lives out his days in that wasteland#and he doesnt remember it where five does bc five time traveled back and klaus didnt. the klaus that got stuck in the#apocalypse is a different klaus - like a different timeline. the klaus from ep1 never got stuck in the destroyed future so#he’d have no knowledge or memories of it or anything#or - second thought - he kills himself at some point after waking up and either begs god to let him stay dead or he strikes some kind of#deal with her so he doesnt have to return to whats left of earth#oooo or something happened that put a lock on his powers?? like yknow those cuffs and devices and stuff in stuff in fantasy that freeze the#users abilities?? that’d be an interesting plotpoint bc then like who did it and why and what was the last day really like? yknow#vanya’s meds but More is the idea #just a thought#but anyway idk im just a big fan of klaus with the inability to die and all the possibilities that brings 

my tags on this post::   #i’ve actually never stopped to consider why he didnt notice them except for my v first tua watch-thru#which is odd bc like that seems like a thing one should notice after a few watches??#but w.e #anyway#my only other hc for that part of the episode isnt that klaus didnt notice them bc he’s used to guns#it’s that he didn’t hear them#or that they weren’t loud enough -to him- to register as gunfire initially#bc like one of my close hcs is that he has bad hearing. growing up with people screaming in your ears 24-7 365 can’t exactly be good for#his ears now can it? and with how loud some of them are and how close they can get to him - without touching him - that’s just.. a lot of#fucking volume okay#now add in the academy’s mission alert siren#how loud he listens to his music with headphones on when he’s trying to drown out some REALLY LOUD SCREAMING#and then being near gunfire growing up. those bank robbers had guns and weren’t exactly a big distance away#all the raves and clubs and parties he goes to?? places where music is played so loud the room shakes and you cant hear anything else and#the music itself can be heard from blocks away?? that’s an indeterminable amount of intense noise#and then of course the gunfire of vietnam#so like… boys ears have SUFFERED. whether they wanna acknowledge that in canon or not#so the shooting at the theater - the shooting thats IN the theater - which is large and meant to house sound#thats happening across a big city street from where they’re standing and they’re behind the food truck and if klaus was ordering when it all#started that was just another level of sound and he’s not exactly focused bc everything is awful yknow?? so either it takes him a second to#notice or register it on his own or maybe he doesnt and ben says something?? idk but that’s kinda the field i’ve landed on for that scene#not that im not here for op’s hc!!! bc it really is a good one and it makes sense. im just rambling my own theory here bc i like considering#the Ways for Things sometimes. esp with klaus involved. this does make me wonder tho… if his hearing somehow is -fine- in canon…. h o w?#bc like bitch who tf can take all that and have perfect hearing?? thats gotta be impossible. if they are fine is it related to his powers#somehow?? like.. does his casual passing between life and death all the time mean he doesnt have mortal ear weaknesses? its weird but im..#i’ve got theories. 

( @hellomyguru )