Hellefer [last and middle name scratched out]
Hellefer is the second eldest child of a noble high elf and her drow husband . When she was younger , she had a semi-normal childhood , in her opinion β a mother who was distant from her , a father who loved her , a blank space where her memory of her elder sister would be . Most of her inability to remember her childhood before everything changed she chalks up to the trauma of her parents losing her eldest daughter , a death she cannot remember the cause of 'why' .
After the death of her sister , Hellefer was subjected to knight training , removed from the public eye , removed from her studies and schooling and forced to endure hours of misery , even torture if she messes up , or if she fights and talks back . What causes this sudden shift is Hellefer's mother using her daughter in a ritual to bring her eldest child back from the dead , using Hellefer's body . The ritual goes wrong β Hellefer becomes scarred in the aftermath , and her eye is where Hellefer's sister soul is kept , shifting the colour to red . Hellefer doesn't know or remember this ritual happening , all she remembers is the cold , and the pain , and waking up to seeing her change . And that change , she assumes , is the reason they've removed her from her previous life .
Her parents had two children a few years after the ritual , and they make Hellefer their guardian . Hellefer makes it her vow to protect them , even if she doesn't full know what all she's protecting them from . She loves them β even if she has a grudge against them for having the life she used to . Even if she gets scarred again and again for daring to have a relationship with her siblings .
She takes up an oath of vengeance β due to assuming her elder sister was murdered , she begins her quest and her life of and taking revenge in honour of her sister , and to protect other families from having to go through what she had . Not knowing there is no one to take revenge against . Taking up her oath is what allows her to finally be free outside of her family's mansion , allowing her to explore , to travel , and to finally , maybe be allowed to live on her own accord . If she allows herself to .
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6'6 ft tall , wider in the shoulders and chest , rounded hips , thicker thighs , muscles noticeable . Too noticeable , needs more hydration and meals . Doesn't take care of herself well , however , portrays herself like she does .
Light blue skin , freckles dusting over her cheeks , hips and sides , wrists , and shoulders . jagged scars all over her body β most noticeably across her chest , her wrists , her neck , her cheek over her nose , and her back . Self harm scars are present on her underarms and her thighs . An arrow scar punctures her ribcage and her forearm . One saturated blue eye , the other red , scleras almost black . Dark blue hair , almost black again , fading into a lighter blue . It appears as thought it was dyed , maybe ages ago .
Wears dark clothing , heavy fabrics , dark plate armour in bits and pieces . She likes heavier things , she feels like they anchor her instead of allowing her to float . Has hidden a necklace her younger brother had gifted her . She holds onto it in stressful moments . It matches her blue eye . She's never worn fancy , noble clothing . She doesn't like it when she wears dressed or frills . Light pastels hurt her eyes . Blood is usually somewhere on her outfit and her armour , as well as her greatsword .
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She doesn't really do relationships β she doesn't allow herself to feel many things . She does not allow anyone to get close , if she can help it . Never shows her emotions on her face . Never β rarely β smiles . Even thought she doesn't show her emotions , she feels them all the time , despite her many attempts at bottling them up . She is usually angry , she's sad , she's always feeling her grief . She is never calm . She's spit on a man before in the midst of an argument .
Hellefer travels with another person , Petra Mordred β someone who allows herself to be perceived as a noble when she is a thief and a former mortician who stole from her richer clients . Hellefer is perhaps jealous , for lack of a better word ,if only a little bit , at how Petra can hold herself and be confident in herself , her emotions , her actions . They aren't close β Hellefer doesn't allow herself to get close . She only allows herself to act as a temporary guard for Petra .
She forced herself to forget what hope is , and how to long for it . She has tried to force herself to forget what love looks , feels and acts like , but hasn't succeeded yet . She did have a lover , for a short time , but left them behind β she couldn't stay and accept love any longer than she had . she's tried to forget their face .
She's haunted by her sister , seeing her outline , her vague shape where she's not meant to be , seeing what Hellefer assumes is her death , in her dreams , maybe feeling her hand brush Hellefer's own when walking past a complete stranger . Hellefer doesn't know about the curse ; the ritualβ she doesn't realize this is apart of it . She likes the haunting . She longs for it .
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Current aus include - DnD , Fallen Hero , Pillars of Eternity , original fantasy universe [that is still unnamed] , Swtor , vampire .
She is shipped with - Astarion , Petra , Argent .
