-

Seraphina, dramatically and drunkenly venting to nobody in particular: ...I walked in, and BANG! My second Christmas killed himself! There was blood and guts everywhere, like some kind of video game! And get this, his suicide note was stuck to the fridge with a Cookie Monster magnet. All he wrote on it; [REDACTED]'s fault...

Seraphina, turning to the group: I was [REDACTED] by the way, hi, WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO TO HIM?!

-

Random: Y'know something? You're feisty. I like that in my female students.

Duvessa: I got a feeling you like something else in your female students too.

-

Julius: If your BMI is under 25 you should just automatically get an A.

Sullivan, running past him: Do something bitch!

-

Seamus: I'm pretty sure the photography teacher is a white nationalist

Kelly: ...I said "the tuna's good today" and you just replied with that

-

Julius: You work at an asylum and you're giving me the "age is just a number" talk? Shouldn't you do that on your court date?

Lucien: Sorry, I don't play tennis

-

Duvessa: A house full of depraved porn and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?

Cian: What was that?

Duvessa: Oh- just... I wanted a chat like this for so long!

-

Seraphina, talking to Duvessa: ...It's an art course anyway, like doing your makeup's a huge step down

Killian, coming up to them: What's up you whores

-

Julius: Okay, huffing at least one of these should get me fucked up, right?

-

Kelly, drunk af and pissed at Seamus: Fuck photography! It's for people who like animals!

-

Kelly: I have done literally nothing to give you this impression of me

Seraphina: You ever play with a sleeping teammate's ass?

Kelly: ...Not in a gay way

Seraphina: Uh huh.

Kelly: How is that gay?

-

Sullivan, about Octavian: He's kinda nice. I wouldn't be surprised if he burned down a convenience store, but yeah he's nice

-

Killian: But whatever, now my mom's addicted to heroin again. How was your spring break?

-

Killian: Think about it. You're some loser with a gun and your wife doesn't want to fuck you, so you go out, shoot a teenager, and get a paid trip to Bermuda

Cian: That sounds kinda good actually

Killian: You gonna join the academy?

Cian: Why would I? I'll never be in a situation where my spouse doesn't want to fuck me because I'm a perfect 10 with a high libido

-

Duvessa: You're a really pretty blonde Hitler with a drug problem

Seraphina: See, if guys came up with that I'd actually go out with them

-

Seamus: Kelly? I didn't know you were in AP history

Kelly: Huh? No, I'm not in AP history

Seamus: Then why are you reading Mein Kampf?

Kelly: ... I'm racist now

Seamus: Oh, alright *walks away*

Kelly: Man Seamus's cool about anything

-

Annabella: You brought me here to cook crack!?

Julius: Yeah? What else is baking soda for?

Annabella: I don't know, baking?

-

Killian: But then you gotta ask; would you rather be alone? Or have a hot twisted bitch who demeans you in public but gives AMAZING head? These are the real questions that plague society

-

Lucien: Like gender, age is just another number on your driver's license

Julius: Um... How do you feel about that, Killian? Do you have an "I feel" statement?

Killian: I feel like he wants to fuck children

-

Killian: Titty and Xanax, what a combo

Julius: Goes together like peanut butter and Percocet

-

Seamus: The psychiatrists might disagree but have you considered listening to the voices in your head?

-

Sullivan: Drake and Josh is on, this better be good

Julius: What the fuck, still?

-

Octavian: He has McDonald's! Dev, where'd you get McDonald's?

Devlin: ...McDonald's

Octavian: Bitch give me a fry

Devlin: Is that how you ask?

Octavian: Bitch, please give me a fry

-

Killian: No seriously, your eyeliner's always sharp, your lipgloss matches your lips, you're actually really pretty

Duvessa: ...Thanks?

Killian: That's why I wanna look you in the face when I stab you

-

Kelly: Could I choke you while we make out?

-

Seraphina: We're friends, don't worry about it

Julius: ...Are you trying to have sex with me?

Seraphina: Not really

Julius: Yeah I have no idea how to process this

-

Killian: I have a knife don't even fucking try me

Julius: Oh, what are gonna do with that?

Killian: Stab you and watch the skeet pour out

Julius: Not if I choke you first!

Killian: I'll spit in your face!

Julius: I'll spit in your mouth!

Killian: I'll like it!

Annabella, who happened to be passing by: ...What is happening-

Random, to Annabella: SHHHH

Julius: Will you spit in mine back?

Killian: I'll bite your bottom lip and make you fucking bleed

Julius: Promise to kiss me after- No..No!

Julius: *walking away* Oh Jesus help me! It's not love it's just lust, it's not love it's just lust!

Annabella: ...What the fuck just happened?

-

Cian: Bitch why don't you shut the fuck up before I slit your throat and watch the honor roll out?

Duvessa: Are you threatening me?

Cian: No, I'm hitting on you. Flash me a titty, bitch

-

Julius: My fucking piece of shit dad who I wanna kill works for a charity business

Lucien: Is there- okay, we don't need to explore that one

-

Seraphina: It's pretty ass

Killian: It's J-Lo after her second kid ass

-

Julius: What's gayer: dating a guy, or wanting a guy to have sex with your dead body?

Emily, just trying to eat dinner: ...dating a guy?

Julius: *disappointed sigh* still straight

-

Julius: You know, you remind me of my wife a bit. I WANNA FUCKING KILL MY WIFE!

Random: Oh my god, what-

Julius: SHUT YOUR MOUTH BEFORE I BLOW YOUR FUCKING BRAINS OUT ON THE TILED FLOOR!

Random: NO! NO PLEASE DON'T I'M SORRY!

Julius: Now that's more like it! I'll call you girls an ambulance, one sec

-

Killian: Bitches gettin killed. Women dying is cool

-

Sullivan, internally: shit, compliment, uhh...

Sullivan, to Killian: You don't... look like a regular rapist?

Killian: Thanks

-

Cian: Octavian, are you seriously trying to kill yourself again?

Octavian: Yes? No? Pick your favorite out of those