#hell yeah identity!

By the way you have to be chill and normal with trans women who like their penis by the way. And trans girls who like to wear suits and keep their hair short and not shave anywhere by the way. You gotta be okay with trans women doing drag and cross dressing and being butch by the way. They're just awesome and in love with themselves by the way

Y'know, I didn't want to sit on this one for too long.

Honestly? I don't know.

One of the things I haven't figured out, is how I've kept myself happy.

Is it the interactions with people? Is it doing things I enjoy? Eating good food? Exercising?

So many people will really tell you that it's this thing or that thing, or that theres a specific combination you have to solve like a puzzle cube.

I just don't get it. Honestly, I think being happy isn't something you can figure out like a puzzle. Or learn with old age.

Happiness isn't a wisdom.

I think happiness is fickle, and it comes and it goes, and thing that you truly need to figure out, is accepting that yeah, you're not always happy. Sometimes it's okay to have bad days, or days where you don't feel either good or bad.

Coming to terms with knowing emotions is hard. Coming to terms that not everything is going to be happy is hard.

I’m too embarrassed to ask my mum to get me a packer. Are there specific length socks to use? I’ve been using ones up to my calf, should I be using ankle ones?

If you already have a post explaining this please link it, thank you.

You can use any object that makes the right shape!!

I first started off with two ankle socks rolled together, and shoved in my women's underwear haha.

But definitely I'd use something softer because it will be more comfortable.

The most important thing is making sure it's secure.

Either wear a harness, underwear designed for packing, or manage to attach it (or a pocket for it, I've seen some ingenious designs by some sewers) to the inside of your pants or outside of your underwear, such as with a safety pin. (Careful with the pokey part!)

The worst thing would be you move wrong and it falls out in public, so make sure to take steps to avoid that!

You definitely can wear it inside your underwear, if that's something you need to do, and have it pressed up to your genitalia, you just need to clean it a lot more, and be more careful about the type of material you're using.

For those of you who cannot purchase a harness or a anatomically correct sold packer, I've found an image for you guys, that shows how to make a DIY harness out of a sports bra.

Credits to u/GhostsOfWar on Reddit!

Packing can be really scary! And it's defitnely not for everyone. Some people don't have that type of bottom dysphoria.

It felt awkward and embarrassing when I first started, but that doesn't mean I'm any less trans.

Remember, you can always start by trying it out alone in your room for fifteen minutes. You don't need to jump to packing everywhere you go.

To my people just trying to be trans, you can always find a safe space with me, I love you, you are trans enough, you are whoever you want to be, I support you, and white trans people spouting slurs and pedophilia and horrible racism aren't role models.

There are types of swim binders! But you can also try with trans tape, and doing that, whilst wearing a shirt over it.

(I have a guide to using trans tape in my intro post!)

Many people use swim binders with a tshirt over it, to make it go even more incognito.

I don't go swimming often, but here's a swim binder reccommendation!

Gender is such a fickle thing, isn't it? And isn't it interesting?

I think what a lot of people don't know, is that you don't ever have to set yourself that label.

You don't ever have to just be trans or just be this one thing. It's okay to just, be a thing.

Gender changes. You might wake up one day with a closet full of trans merch, and realize "hey, I think I might be something else."

That's okay!! You just have to try and act on it.

What does your brain and body react to when you think about being a girl? Dressing like a girl? Being referred to with female pronouns and a name?

Now what about all those things but male?

Or non binary?

Or neopronouns?

Or nothing at all, or any infinite combination?

Hey trans guys, you can have long hair. You can wear dresses. You can shave.

Hey trans girlies, you can have short hair. You can still wear "boy" clothes. You don't have to shave.

Hey trans girlies and trans guys, you don't have to get surgery to be "trans enough."

Trans guys, you don't need to want top and bottom surgery to be trans enough.

(I've had neither!)

Trans girlies you don't need bottom surgery and implants to be trans enough.

You can be trans however you want and feel comfortable with, and if people try to say that you aren't trans enough because of (insert what you're doing here) then they can go and evaluate their choices. (AND YOU CAN BLOCK THEM)

Worrying about whether or not you're trans isn't something non trans/queer people usually do. If the thought of you not being trans makes you anxious, you're probably trans. Even if you don't want to fully transition.

Healthy!

Normal!

Common!

Okay!

When I was much younger, I believed I was aromantic and asexual. But really, I was just in a spot where I didn't have the emotional maturity to be in a relationship or experience intimacy. But I still tried to hang out in aroace communities. I thought they had cool signs at pride parade, and hell yeah, dragons and garlic bread.

I was welcomed, welcomed with open arms and lovely people, even when I figured out later on in my life that it wasn't a label I actually possessed.

And that's okay!!!

Try out those pronouns, try out that label, interact with that community, learn what you want, it's okay to identity as something or label yourself as something and then eventually figure out that that is not what you are.

You're not trying to get with a "gay trend" you're just questioning, experimenting! Mad scientist type hell yeah!

And what harm does it cause to try something out, and then figure out later that maybe it's not that? None!

Gender is fluid, and sexuality is fluid, and identity is fluid, so be a little funky with it, try some new stuff, play with labels (or no labels!!!), learn who you wanna be and be happy about it!

I promise you, you aren't faking for attention. You're not an imposter, you are real, you are questioning, and you are learning.

And that is more important then ever.