The majority of this is from @hedgiwithapen but I typed and helped with some of it...
The irony behind Bruce Wayne being taken captive in his own home is beyond hilarious on its own, for those who know that Batman was taken hostage feet about the Batcave, in a house full of the Batclan (Nightwing, Red Hood, Red Robin, Black Bat, Robin, Agent A). Now, factor in his 10 ninja kids “saving” him.
Die Hard + Home Alone = the Best Batman Movie. Ever. Of All Time.
“That trap will literally kill them!”
“They kidnapped Father, they should have thought about that first.”
“Besides, they punched Alfred.”
“Run that trap by me again.”
“Why was it in the lamp?”
“Don’t you have a gun in your lamp? Never know when you’re gonna need a gun lamp!”
“Go away alien, we don’t need your help.”
“Cass, your stuffed animals, what happened...”
*sees the weapons she is extracting from Sir Hugsalot’s stuffing”
“Hey do you think you could get into the kitchens through the air ducts?”
“Why? Do you want oil for the stairs, or the combustibles?”
“No, I’m just hungry. I’m pretty sure there’s some leftover doughnuts.”
“How could you think of food at a time like this?!”
“I’m hungry! Besides, why are you worried? We’re gonna be fine.”
Meanwhile, Bruce is silently counting off.
“What are you muttering about?”
“3...2...1...” after an extra two seconds full of confusion and worry, something explodes.
“I suppose I can’t really ground them over this.”
Gordon is making sure the kids are all alright, and Dick and Tim are really playing up the trauma card.
“I think we’ll be fine, Commissioner. We just really want to go back to sleep.”
Cass nods, slyly sticking a ninja star back in her stuffed unicorn.
Hours later, after the police are finally gone, Stephanie shows up. She waltz’s in right before they start a movie with Starbucks in hand.
“Who says you missed anything?”
*sees the broken railing on the stairs, scorched front lawn, the paint stains*
“The gun’s missing from the lamp, duh.”
