The majority of this is from @hedgiwithapen but I typed and helped with some of it...
The irony behind Bruce Wayne being taken captive in his own home is beyond hilarious on its own, for those who know that Batman was taken hostage feet about the Batcave, in a house full of the Batclan (Nightwing, Red Hood, Red Robin, Black Bat, Robin, Agent A). Now, factor in his 10 ninja kids âsavingâ him.
Die Hard + Home Alone = the Best Batman Movie. Ever. Of All Time.
âThat trap will literally kill them!â
âThey kidnapped Father, they should have thought about that first.â
âBesides, they punched Alfred.â
âRun that trap by me again.â
âJason, is that a gun?â
âWhy was it in the lamp?â
âDonât you have a gun in your lamp? Never know when youâre gonna need a gun lamp!â
âGo away alien, we donât need your help.â
âCass, your stuffed animals, what happened...â
*sees the weapons she is extracting from Sir Hugsalotâs stuffingâ
âHey do you think you could get into the kitchens through the air ducts?â
âWhy? Do you want oil for the stairs, or the combustibles?â
âNo, Iâm just hungry. Iâm pretty sure thereâs some leftover doughnuts.â
âHow could you think of food at a time like this?!â
âIâm hungry! Besides, why are you worried? Weâre gonna be fine.â
Meanwhile, Bruce is silently counting off.
âWhat are you muttering about?â
â3...2...1...â after an extra two seconds full of confusion and worry, something explodes.
âI suppose I canât really ground them over this.â
Gordon is making sure the kids are all alright, and Dick and Tim are really playing up the trauma card.
âI think weâll be fine, Commissioner. We just really want to go back to sleep.â
Cass nods, slyly sticking a ninja star back in her stuffed unicorn.
Hours later, after the police are finally gone, Stephanie shows up. She waltzâs in right before they start a movie with Starbucks in hand.
âWait, whatâd I miss?â
âWho says you missed anything?â
*sees the broken railing on the stairs, scorched front lawn, the paint stains*
âThe gunâs missing from the lamp, duh.â
