#headology

Discworld inktober day 22 - Esmerelda Weatherwax

Granny Weatherwax was the strongest witch in the Discworld books. When Sir Terry Pratchett found out he was dying, he needed to say goodbye to his fans. He did that through the passing of the beloved character of Granny Weatherwax in “The Shepherd’s Crown”

Even though when he was already gone when I started reading the discworld books, it was still very heartbreaking. She also kept bees as part of her specialty and after she passed, her protégé had to tell the bees. I’ve always felt like us the readers were Sir Terry’s bees.

The basic answer is that I ask myself, "does this take advantage of something we know about how the human mind works; or might it have psychologically unhealthy consequences?"

For example, I remember reading somewhere that washing up can make people feel as if they've been emotionally or spiritually cleansed. So if someone asks how they can move past a bad point in their life, I'm probably going to recommend some kind of bath or shower ritual.

I also know that our subconscious minds process information and often come to fairly reasonable conclusions without our even realizing it. So if someone's having difficulty making a choice even after doing the best possible research they can, or where there's just no objectively "best" choice, I might suggest using a pendulum to sort it out.

I know that the brain tends to internalize repeated information, so I'm down with healthy affirmations.

I know that people respond to symbols, both consciously and subconsciously. So if someone wanted to feel more confident, I see no reason why creating a spell jar full of things associated with confidence wouldn't provide some benefit if they kept it in a visible place.

I know that energy healing practices can at the very least help people relax. While I would never, ever suggest that someone pays huge amounts of money or uses energy healing in place of evidence-based medicine (never use anything to replace evidence-based medicine), I'm down for using the techniques on yourself or on your friends, or watching ASMR reiki videos on YouTube.

And on the other hand, I don't really put much stock in spells or practices that target an unaware third party. For example, I don't think death or misfortune curses are especially likely to work. I also think that in some cases, they might just reinforce a fixation on revenge that actually hinders the caster's path to emotional healing and finding healthy coping mechanisms.

"And this is because people are riddled by Doubt.

"It is the engine that drives them through their lives. It is the elastic band in the little model aeroplane of their soul, and they spend their time winding it up until it knots.

"Early morning is the worst time -there's that little moment of panic in case You have drifted away in the night and something else has moved in.

"This never happened to Granny Weatherwax. She went straight from asleep to instant operation on all six cylinders.

"She never needed to find herself because she always knew who was doing the looking.”

Granny Weatherwax is attending a very sick child, when a certain someone WHO TALKS LIKE THIS appears.

Granny sat back.

"Then I challenge you to a game. That's traditional. That's allowed."

Death was silent for a moment.

THIS IS TRUE.

"Good."

CHALLENGING ME BY MEANS OF A GAME IS ALLOWABLE.

"Yes."

HOWEVER… YOU UNDERSTAND THAT TO WIN ALL YOU MUST GAMBLE ALL?

"Double or quits? Yes, I know."

BUT NOT CHESS.

"Can't abide chess."

OR CRIPPLE MR ONION. I'VE NEVER BEEN ABLE TO UNDERSTAND THE RULES.

"Very well. How about one hand of poker? Five cards each, no draws? Sudden death, as they say."

Death thought about this, too.

YOU KNOW THIS FAMILY?

"No."

THEN WHY?

"Are we talking or are we playing?"

OH, VERY WELL.

Granny picked up the pack of cards and shuffled it, not looking at her hands, and smiling at Death all the time. She dealt five cards each, and reached down…

A bony hand grasped hers.

BUT FIRST, MISTRESS WEATHERWAX — WE WILL EXCHANGE CARDS.

He picked up the two piles and transposed them, and then nodded at Granny.

MADAM?

Granny looked at her cards, and threw them down.

FOUR QUEENS. HMM. THAT IS VERY HIGH.

Death looked down at his cards, and then up into Granny's steady, blue-eyed gaze.

Neither moved for some time.

Then Death laid the hand on the table.

I LOSE, he said. ALL I HAVE IS FOUR ONES.

He looked back into Granny's eyes for a moment. There was a blue glow in the depth of his eye sockets. Maybe, for the merest fraction of a second, barely noticeable even to the closest observation, one winked off.

Granny nodded, and extended a hand.

She prided herself on the ability to judge people by their gaze and their handshake, which in this case was a rather chilly one.

Esk looked down at the queen bee. She looked up at the witch.

"No," she said. "I think you just know a lot about bees."

Granny grinned.

"Exactly correct. That's one form of magic, of course."

"What, just knowing things?"

"Knowing things that other people don't know," said Granny.

Maul, especially young *and* old Maul *really* need Granny Weatherwax. I think Granny Weatherwax would be the perfect antidote to Siduous's conditioning.

Druid: Circle of Witchcraft

Now I know I'm not the first person to homebrew a druid themed like a witch. It isn't a particularly common combination of ideas, but it has been done before. But I have not found such a subclass (or really even a class option at all) that makes a witch for 5e that feels like a witch from Discworld. This is what that is. A subclass that can genuinely make a Granny Weatherwax.

A Discworld witch; complete with headology, borrowing, and "the look". A relatively "low magic" option, this subclass is perfect for players that want to lean into their Wisdom stat and do more RP than combat. Druids are good at combat, no subclass required, but they do fall short when it comes to social encounters (IMO)—this definitely patches that.

This short doc is only 0.75 of DMsGuild, which is how I think I'll be pricing all standalone subclasses. And I plan to make quite a few subclasses.