#hawkcrow

— Rushsplash: He's literally a fucking cat who doesn't even know how to control himself, he's extremely rude to everyone. He's a terrible brother and has tried to kill Darkwing a few times, the reason is that Dark looks a lot more like Hawkfrost than he does, causing a lot of irritation and jealousy of the other.

Everyone believes ashfurs version of events because he seemingly has no reason to lie, and Firestar brings this up next gathering and Leopardstar exiles him on the spot because at this point he’s made two attempts at treason. Hawkfrost’s only defense is that he wasn’t there at that time, but nobody remembers him at camp on the day of the incident, likely because he’d snuck off to see Crowfeather, which ofc he can’t say because that’d still be a betrayal. After he makes the weak defense, he willingly runs off and Crowfeather is notably very distraught, though most think it’s because they were close during the journey (they bonded over feathertails passing).

Leafpool doesn’t 100% buy this, while speaking with mothwing she brings up hawk and mothwing admits that he was definitely planning something amongst the other shit he pulled, but also says that he’d been sneaking into the medicine den and rolling in herbs for some reason she couldn’t quite place, and that more recently he’d began not only gaining a bit of weight, (which isn’t new for RiverClan I’d like to think a good chunk of them are very rotund not only because of diet but for extra warmth in water(hawk and moth tho don’t share those genes so they struggle a bit more than other riverclanners)) but oddly, his riskier behaviors had calmed down. She also informs leafpool that she witnessed her brother on several occasions toss and turn violently in his sleep, occasionally so violently he’d hurt himself supposedly and that she’s not sure what to think of it all. Leafpool does some digging, she tries to meet with Crowfeather a few times, but he always shrugs her off angrily and in a hurry, she’s able to get Brambleclaw to fess up to training in the dark forest with his brother and father which seems to point in the direction of him maybe trying to gain weight to build muscle to kill Firestar or some shit, but eventually StarClan interrupts that line of thought with “nah dog he’s pregnant and those kits are very important” and now Leafpool has to find this man — not only because he’s about to birth some very important kids, but also he’s out there on his own with no herbal knowledge or help that’s a death wish.

She asks Brambleclaw if he’s seen him in his dreams and bramble admits he stopped going to the dark forest after he saw Firestar in the snare, she asks mothwing if he ever said anything about where’d he go if not RiverClan and she very confusedly answers that he liked the moors a lot before trying to figure out what the fuck leafpool is up to - leafpool says she thinks he might be with kits, leaving out the “god told me” part and everything clicks in place for mothwing and she just says “Crowfeather, find Crowfeather” and Leafpool, having had the worst interactions with him so far goes to squirrelflight. Squirrelflight was closer to Crowfeather on the journey here so she can definitely convince him to talk to them, but not before Leafpool tells her w h y she wants to ask him about the whereabouts of the guy who attempted to murder their father for obvious reasons, and leafpool tells the whole truth to her, StarClan included.

Squirrelflight is still iffy about this, but she goes along with it. When they do meet with Crowfeather leafpool asks him where hawkfrost is and he becomes indignant and almost walks out. When leafpool tells him Hawkfrost’s with kits Crowfeathers demeanor changes and he asks them to promise to keep it between the three of them. He leads them to a rabbits burrow covered in underbrush and foliage — where he’s been harboring his outlaw boyfriend who is not happy when he sees the sisters. Hawkfrost is instantly defensive as he thinks they’re here to drag him back to ThunderClan and have him killed, it’s obvious he’s been in a very emotional state after the exile and is definitely going through it, but leafpool and squirrelflight insist they’re just here to help. The four of them have a sit down in attempts to talk about what the plan was — Crowfeather insists he was looking for a place for both him and hawkfrost to run to, but with him this vulnerable he had to be careful and scope shit out. Hawkfrost hates crowfeathers idea and they bicker about it for too long before leafpool interrupts saying the kits cannot leave the clans, they’re too important. Hawkfrost suddenly realizes what she means and instantly becomes defensive, saying he doesn’t want whatever she or anyone has in mind for his kits, it’s his decision on where they’ll go before he attempts to chase the two out. Leafpool is left feeling guilty, but also extremely confused, and squirrelflight severely conflicted on how to feel about hawkfrost.

Winter comes, leafpool attempts to see hawkfrost again, but all attempts are interrupted by one thing or another, whether that be her duties or Crowfeather keeping her at bay from his mate. Eventually, snowfall comes, and leafpool is visited by feathertail who urges her into the woods where she finds Crowfeather, wide eyed and shaken looking for hawkfrost, terrified ThunderClan had taken him after all, even shifting to rage upon seeing leafpool. When she swears he’s not with them, he calms down before quickly returning to worry, and the two go looking for him through faint traces of an already fading scent trail he’s left. They find him in a hollow tree, curled into himself and shaken. When asked why he left by Crowfeather, hawkfrost responds he just wanted to go home, but he wasn’t sure what he was thinking when he did aimlessly try to reach RiverClan. Once he neared the border he realized they’d likely attack him on sight, and an immense sense of guilt washed over him — for his betrayal, for those he hurt, for the kits he’d just endangered, leading him to aimlessly run into ThunderClan territory in search of shelter, where he goes into labour. Leafpool isn’t well prepared, but attempts to make do with what she has, Crowfeather tries to help her, but they clash a lot. Hollykit comes out fine, but it’s downhill from there. As it starts to look really bleak — suddenly, two wispy starlit figures appear at the entrance of the hollow, the images of Yellowfang and Cinderpelt quickly replaced by the real forms of Squirrelflight and Mothwing, both with herbs in their jaws. With the extra two hands the birth is successful, though extremely exhausting on everyone involved, especially hawkfrost.

Though everyone is very happy to see the kits, squirrelflight especially, hawkfrost is notably detached from everyone, including his newborns. Instead of naming them himself, he asks the four to name them instead. Squirrelflight names jaykit, Leafpool names lionkit, Mothwing names Polliwogkit (hollyleaf), and Crowfeather names Breezekit. As the snow starts to die down they discuss what they should do, and hawkfrost, the quietest out of them asks to meet with each of them alone, he has things he needs to say.

First he meets with mothwing because, well, they haven’t seen each other in a long time and they left off at a bad note. He apologizes to her, and says she must hate him, and while mothwing says she can’t forgive him, not yet, she admits she doesn’t hate him, and that that’s why she can’t forgive him. Because he’s never been able to trust her faith in him without some underhanded tactic or fear she’d abandon him, and that hurts. He’s her brother, of course she doesn’t hate him. After a very emotional conversation, she asks him what he’s going to do, and how he feels, and he doesn’t fully know himself. She doesn’t directly mention the kits, it feels odd to do so; and he’s letting them near him, so he’s doing alright so far.

Next comes in Crowfeather, who is very conflicted emotionally. While happy at the sight of his kits and mate safe, he’s confused as to why hawkfrost would leave the burrow, why he wouldn’t listen to him — why he couldn’t make things better. He and hawkfrost have a very complicated conversation, starting soft, moving into Crowfeather bickering over how much danger he put himself into and how worried he was. Hawkfrost retorts that it all ended well enough and Crowfeather bites back with “not all your plans do though, and you know that.” They’re silent for awhile before Crowfeather asks why he didn’t want to run away. Hawkfrost says it felt wrong, but he admits he liked the idea at first, mainly because it was so fantastical, just living together with their little family away from the problems he made. It was fantasy, but that was it, it was just a fantasy. During his time with kits he realized how much of a hypocrite he was, he’d built up these ideals of justice in his head, of a world he would fix, but he’d only broken it further apart and it took getting hurt to realize it all — nevermind hurting everyone around him, including Crowfeather and Mothwing. Crowfeather argues that it doesn’t mean they can’t be happy now — hawkfrost finally agrees; Crowfeather and the kits can be happy. He doesn’t tell him it has to be without him.

Last are Leafpool and squirrelflight, the ones he knows the least. He starts with questioning what leafpool said about the importance of his kits, and leafpool concedes that it was StarClan that told her of their importance. Hawkfrost goes quiet for a bit before apologizing for his anger, afterwards asking if there’s a way to avoid that. Leafpool, unsure of what to say or do just shakes her head. Hawkfrost laughs until he cries and squirrelflight asks leafpool for a moment with him one on one, which her sister allows. Squirrelflight notices his distance from the kits and gently prods at him about it, hawkfrost responds solemnly that he’s scared, terrified he’ll be a bad father when he was initially confident he’d do well. Squirrelflight argues a bad father wouldn’t quarrel with StarClan over the fates of his kits, only a father who cares would, and he shrugs. His father wasn’t very good, so he supposes it’ll turn out the same between them. Deciding not to uncover an obviously complex problem, she asks him what he’d name them, implying she knows he gave the task to the others out of fear. Hawkfrost says he likes mothwings idea, polliwog the best, says that it suits how lively and strong the little she-kit is, but that jaykit would’ve been named jackdawkit or featherkit, though they’d likely seen the ladder coming, that breezekit resembled a rook, and that lionkit resembled a fish he’d heard of that swam down the river in warmer seasons; Doradokit, before playfully noting their names worked too, his eyes softening at them. “They’re perfect with any name.” She asks him if he’s going to run away with them and Crowfeather, and he shakes his head. He can’t be happy, not after all the things he’s done. It’s here when he asks her if she knows anyone in ThunderClan who’d take them, even as orphans, knowing the clans do not react well to halfbloods or outsiders. Squirrelflight, without thinking, says she’ll take them. That no one will ever know if he thinks it’s what’s best. That she’ll protect them. Hawkfrost relaxes, and thanks her, asking her of course to give Crowfeather the option to take the kits, which she agrees to.

The group decide to spend the remainder of the night in the hollow curled around eachother and the kits for warmth. When they awaken, hawkfrost has vanished, but the kits remain safe. Crowfeather is distraught and stresses they should look for him, but the three mollies seem to understand more than he does that the tom is not coming back. Squirrelflight announces that hawkfrost had asked her to take the kits in if anything were to happen, but she insists Crowfeather take them after seeing him upset. Something shifts and Crowfeather refuses, the other three cats are confused, mothwing loudly insisting that he should at least take breezekit since he’d named him. Crowfeather after some arguing finally begrudgingly agrees to take breezekit back to windclan while squirrelflight, leafpool and Mothwing prepare to return to ThunderClan.

In ThunderClan, squirrelflight returns with two medicine cats at her side after a sudden labour, she carries three fatherless kits in toe — fatherless before Brambleclaw without warning claims fatherhood, which is odd (squirrelbramble doesn’t happen), but most brush it off as a one time thing. The clan is nonetheless excited over the new arrivals, who later will be known as Jackdawtail, Doradocreek and Polliwogleaf (pollileaf or polli for short).