#crowhawk

— Rushsplash: He's literally a fucking cat who doesn't even know how to control himself, he's extremely rude to everyone. He's a terrible brother and has tried to kill Darkwing a few times, the reason is that Dark looks a lot more like Hawkfrost than he does, causing a lot of irritation and jealousy of the other.

Everyone believes ashfurs version of events because he seemingly has no reason to lie, and Firestar brings this up next gathering and Leopardstar exiles him on the spot because at this point he’s made two attempts at treason. Hawkfrost’s only defense is that he wasn’t there at that time, but nobody remembers him at camp on the day of the incident, likely because he’d snuck off to see Crowfeather, which ofc he can’t say because that’d still be a betrayal. After he makes the weak defense, he willingly runs off and Crowfeather is notably very distraught, though most think it’s because they were close during the journey (they bonded over feathertails passing).

Leafpool doesn’t 100% buy this, while speaking with mothwing she brings up hawk and mothwing admits that he was definitely planning something amongst the other shit he pulled, but also says that he’d been sneaking into the medicine den and rolling in herbs for some reason she couldn’t quite place, and that more recently he’d began not only gaining a bit of weight, (which isn’t new for RiverClan I’d like to think a good chunk of them are very rotund not only because of diet but for extra warmth in water(hawk and moth tho don’t share those genes so they struggle a bit more than other riverclanners)) but oddly, his riskier behaviors had calmed down. She also informs leafpool that she witnessed her brother on several occasions toss and turn violently in his sleep, occasionally so violently he’d hurt himself supposedly and that she’s not sure what to think of it all. Leafpool does some digging, she tries to meet with Crowfeather a few times, but he always shrugs her off angrily and in a hurry, she’s able to get Brambleclaw to fess up to training in the dark forest with his brother and father which seems to point in the direction of him maybe trying to gain weight to build muscle to kill Firestar or some shit, but eventually StarClan interrupts that line of thought with “nah dog he’s pregnant and those kits are very important” and now Leafpool has to find this man — not only because he’s about to birth some very important kids, but also he’s out there on his own with no herbal knowledge or help that’s a death wish.

She asks Brambleclaw if he’s seen him in his dreams and bramble admits he stopped going to the dark forest after he saw Firestar in the snare, she asks mothwing if he ever said anything about where’d he go if not RiverClan and she very confusedly answers that he liked the moors a lot before trying to figure out what the fuck leafpool is up to - leafpool says she thinks he might be with kits, leaving out the “god told me” part and everything clicks in place for mothwing and she just says “Crowfeather, find Crowfeather” and Leafpool, having had the worst interactions with him so far goes to squirrelflight. Squirrelflight was closer to Crowfeather on the journey here so she can definitely convince him to talk to them, but not before Leafpool tells her w h y she wants to ask him about the whereabouts of the guy who attempted to murder their father for obvious reasons, and leafpool tells the whole truth to her, StarClan included.

Squirrelflight is still iffy about this, but she goes along with it. When they do meet with Crowfeather leafpool asks him where hawkfrost is and he becomes indignant and almost walks out. When leafpool tells him Hawkfrost’s with kits Crowfeathers demeanor changes and he asks them to promise to keep it between the three of them. He leads them to a rabbits burrow covered in underbrush and foliage — where he’s been harboring his outlaw boyfriend who is not happy when he sees the sisters. Hawkfrost is instantly defensive as he thinks they’re here to drag him back to ThunderClan and have him killed, it’s obvious he’s been in a very emotional state after the exile and is definitely going through it, but leafpool and squirrelflight insist they’re just here to help. The four of them have a sit down in attempts to talk about what the plan was — Crowfeather insists he was looking for a place for both him and hawkfrost to run to, but with him this vulnerable he had to be careful and scope shit out. Hawkfrost hates crowfeathers idea and they bicker about it for too long before leafpool interrupts saying the kits cannot leave the clans, they’re too important. Hawkfrost suddenly realizes what she means and instantly becomes defensive, saying he doesn’t want whatever she or anyone has in mind for his kits, it’s his decision on where they’ll go before he attempts to chase the two out. Leafpool is left feeling guilty, but also extremely confused, and squirrelflight severely conflicted on how to feel about hawkfrost.

Winter comes, leafpool attempts to see hawkfrost again, but all attempts are interrupted by one thing or another, whether that be her duties or Crowfeather keeping her at bay from his mate. Eventually, snowfall comes, and leafpool is visited by feathertail who urges her into the woods where she finds Crowfeather, wide eyed and shaken looking for hawkfrost, terrified ThunderClan had taken him after all, even shifting to rage upon seeing leafpool. When she swears he’s not with them, he calms down before quickly returning to worry, and the two go looking for him through faint traces of an already fading scent trail he’s left. They find him in a hollow tree, curled into himself and shaken. When asked why he left by Crowfeather, hawkfrost responds he just wanted to go home, but he wasn’t sure what he was thinking when he did aimlessly try to reach RiverClan. Once he neared the border he realized they’d likely attack him on sight, and an immense sense of guilt washed over him — for his betrayal, for those he hurt, for the kits he’d just endangered, leading him to aimlessly run into ThunderClan territory in search of shelter, where he goes into labour. Leafpool isn’t well prepared, but attempts to make do with what she has, Crowfeather tries to help her, but they clash a lot. Hollykit comes out fine, but it’s downhill from there. As it starts to look really bleak — suddenly, two wispy starlit figures appear at the entrance of the hollow, the images of Yellowfang and Cinderpelt quickly replaced by the real forms of Squirrelflight and Mothwing, both with herbs in their jaws. With the extra two hands the birth is successful, though extremely exhausting on everyone involved, especially hawkfrost.

Though everyone is very happy to see the kits, squirrelflight especially, hawkfrost is notably detached from everyone, including his newborns. Instead of naming them himself, he asks the four to name them instead. Squirrelflight names jaykit, Leafpool names lionkit, Mothwing names Polliwogkit (hollyleaf), and Crowfeather names Breezekit. As the snow starts to die down they discuss what they should do, and hawkfrost, the quietest out of them asks to meet with each of them alone, he has things he needs to say.

First he meets with mothwing because, well, they haven’t seen each other in a long time and they left off at a bad note. He apologizes to her, and says she must hate him, and while mothwing says she can’t forgive him, not yet, she admits she doesn’t hate him, and that that’s why she can’t forgive him. Because he’s never been able to trust her faith in him without some underhanded tactic or fear she’d abandon him, and that hurts. He’s her brother, of course she doesn’t hate him. After a very emotional conversation, she asks him what he’s going to do, and how he feels, and he doesn’t fully know himself. She doesn’t directly mention the kits, it feels odd to do so; and he’s letting them near him, so he’s doing alright so far.

Next comes in Crowfeather, who is very conflicted emotionally. While happy at the sight of his kits and mate safe, he’s confused as to why hawkfrost would leave the burrow, why he wouldn’t listen to him — why he couldn’t make things better. He and hawkfrost have a very complicated conversation, starting soft, moving into Crowfeather bickering over how much danger he put himself into and how worried he was. Hawkfrost retorts that it all ended well enough and Crowfeather bites back with “not all your plans do though, and you know that.” They’re silent for awhile before Crowfeather asks why he didn’t want to run away. Hawkfrost says it felt wrong, but he admits he liked the idea at first, mainly because it was so fantastical, just living together with their little family away from the problems he made. It was fantasy, but that was it, it was just a fantasy. During his time with kits he realized how much of a hypocrite he was, he’d built up these ideals of justice in his head, of a world he would fix, but he’d only broken it further apart and it took getting hurt to realize it all — nevermind hurting everyone around him, including Crowfeather and Mothwing. Crowfeather argues that it doesn’t mean they can’t be happy now — hawkfrost finally agrees; Crowfeather and the kits can be happy. He doesn’t tell him it has to be without him.

Last are Leafpool and squirrelflight, the ones he knows the least. He starts with questioning what leafpool said about the importance of his kits, and leafpool concedes that it was StarClan that told her of their importance. Hawkfrost goes quiet for a bit before apologizing for his anger, afterwards asking if there’s a way to avoid that. Leafpool, unsure of what to say or do just shakes her head. Hawkfrost laughs until he cries and squirrelflight asks leafpool for a moment with him one on one, which her sister allows. Squirrelflight notices his distance from the kits and gently prods at him about it, hawkfrost responds solemnly that he’s scared, terrified he’ll be a bad father when he was initially confident he’d do well. Squirrelflight argues a bad father wouldn’t quarrel with StarClan over the fates of his kits, only a father who cares would, and he shrugs. His father wasn’t very good, so he supposes it’ll turn out the same between them. Deciding not to uncover an obviously complex problem, she asks him what he’d name them, implying she knows he gave the task to the others out of fear. Hawkfrost says he likes mothwings idea, polliwog the best, says that it suits how lively and strong the little she-kit is, but that jaykit would’ve been named jackdawkit or featherkit, though they’d likely seen the ladder coming, that breezekit resembled a rook, and that lionkit resembled a fish he’d heard of that swam down the river in warmer seasons; Doradokit, before playfully noting their names worked too, his eyes softening at them. “They’re perfect with any name.” She asks him if he’s going to run away with them and Crowfeather, and he shakes his head. He can’t be happy, not after all the things he’s done. It’s here when he asks her if she knows anyone in ThunderClan who’d take them, even as orphans, knowing the clans do not react well to halfbloods or outsiders. Squirrelflight, without thinking, says she’ll take them. That no one will ever know if he thinks it’s what’s best. That she’ll protect them. Hawkfrost relaxes, and thanks her, asking her of course to give Crowfeather the option to take the kits, which she agrees to.

The group decide to spend the remainder of the night in the hollow curled around eachother and the kits for warmth. When they awaken, hawkfrost has vanished, but the kits remain safe. Crowfeather is distraught and stresses they should look for him, but the three mollies seem to understand more than he does that the tom is not coming back. Squirrelflight announces that hawkfrost had asked her to take the kits in if anything were to happen, but she insists Crowfeather take them after seeing him upset. Something shifts and Crowfeather refuses, the other three cats are confused, mothwing loudly insisting that he should at least take breezekit since he’d named him. Crowfeather after some arguing finally begrudgingly agrees to take breezekit back to windclan while squirrelflight, leafpool and Mothwing prepare to return to ThunderClan.

In ThunderClan, squirrelflight returns with two medicine cats at her side after a sudden labour, she carries three fatherless kits in toe — fatherless before Brambleclaw without warning claims fatherhood, which is odd (squirrelbramble doesn’t happen), but most brush it off as a one time thing. The clan is nonetheless excited over the new arrivals, who later will be known as Jackdawtail, Doradocreek and Polliwogleaf (pollileaf or polli for short).

Crowfeather and hawkfrost kind of work like uhh Crowley and Aziraphale from good omens, highly dependent on who which is from moment to moment — but Crowfeather is similar most to Crowley most in being killjoys and enjoying it quietly, also I’d like to think Crowfeather hates being complimented on doing “the right” thing because he never left that rebellious teenager shit behind, though he’s technically a protag and more aligned with good he still tries to put out this image of a brooding heretic when in reality he wouldn’t dare do the things hawkfrost wants to do. Hawk and Azi share a similar disposition, approachable and talkative, I’d say hawk also has some very strange phrases he tosses into sentences that throw Crowfeather for a loop, besides that they’re extremely different though still kind of built similar??? Very hard to describe since hawk is definitely more of a mischief maker, but he’s got some of that essence. (Also “You’re so clever - how can someone as clever as you be so stupid?!” Is a thing Crowfeather would say to hawkfrost)

Hawkfrost is a very eloquent speaker, constantly throwing out big words into sentences. Crowfeather hates this, he hates it when he tries to outsmart him. Sometime hawkfrost says obscure little pieces of vernacular or weird little things. Crowfeather hates that more because those aren’t even real words.

They bicker constantly it’s their love language.

Hawkfrost loves getting Crowfeather heated because the best comedy comes from a pissed off crowfeather. He often does this by starting the stupidest arguments (in good fun ofc but Crowfeather barely understands the meaning of the word)

The only way Crowfeather has found he can get hawkfrost upset is by pretending to forget the names of certain things or cats. He’s done this several times with Tigerclaw in specific and it’s never gotten boring.

When they aren’t annoying eachother into a rage they’re having friendly insult matches or battles of wit. Sometimes they just roam around the moors together, all domestic.

Crowfeather will drop anything if it involves hawkfrost, he’s always been a bit of a lovesick dumbass even though he hides this fact with his life.

They never find a name for what they are. They are 100% openly romantic with eachother, but have never called eachother mates. The closest anyone will get out of them is “oh that’s my best friend”, but everyone knows it’s not that simple.

Crowfeather remembers things that hawkfrost forgets about himself or just tries to forget/insist it’s not the case. He knows he doesn’t like eating birds cause the feathers are too much of a mess even when hawk complains about not getting “the option”. He knows hawkfrost hates the snow so he always nags him about not going out late lest it be him left to hear him complain about how frozen his paws feel. He knows that hawkfrost never keeps his head under water for more than a few seconds because he starts to think he’s drowning, even if it’s not true. He knows to curl around him in the night while they try to sleep, to watch for the unsheathing of his claws or the hiss in his throat - even if hawkfrost denies it ever happened at all.

Crowfeather realized he was in love with hawkfrost first, out of the two that is. Initially he’d tried to hide it, but as time wears on it becomes clearer that hawkfrost is the one he longs to share his days with. Hawkfrost to Crowfeather awakens a well of emotion he’d never thought possible for him. He is irritating, yes, insufferable, annoyingly egotistical at times and a show off to boot, but he’s awakened a fire in him where he thought was once just ice. Hawkfrost is a ray of sunlight to him, sometimes he’s shining right into his eyes first thing in the morning — but, the warmth is always welcomed. For every inconvenience he throws his way, he is always reminded of the clever, wonderment filled little problem solver - at times a problem maker. No matter what Hawkfrost does he just can’t let go of that fire, that warmth that’s blossomed between them.

Hawkfrost never fully realizes he’s in love until Crowfeather admits his love, and it’s confuses him because he’s often more unsure of himself than he’d like to admit, but he thinks, at least, he’s loved Crowfeather from the moment they’ve met, he’s just never realized that was what it was. Crowfeather is someone who doesn’t change, at least not at his core. Hawkfrost has never once looked at him and thought he could not recognize what lay in his head, and that’s comforting. He’s a rock, he’s solid, someplace he can hold onto when it’s all too much. He’s got a clearer head than he does, for sure, and no matter what, as tactless and blunt as Crowfeather might be, he finds the right words at the worst of times. He’s a calm in the storm that Hawkfrost believes to be himself most of the time; he’s sanctuary. Sometimes when he looks at him the world becomes clear; not in the dark way he sometimes views it as, but as full of light, of some sort of reprieve from the sorrow. At least when he isn’t nagging him, that is. He’ll never forgive himself for betraying his honesty

Crowfeather struggles with the concept of loyalty a lot, specifically, loyalty to his Clan and loyalty to those he loves, often outside the clans. He knows that if it came between his Clan and Hawkfrost he’d always choose Hawkfrost and he knows that in the world they live in that’s wrong, but it’s become a sacrifice he’s comfortable with making. Even if he’d hurt others. Even if it’d hurt him. Hawkfrost, on the other hand sees that. He sees that Crowfeather is loyal to him, and the time he uses that loyalty for his gain he learns quickly that it’s rotten what he’s done — that he’s no better than anyone who’s let him down before. But, Crowfeather stays by him, and that’s worse somehow, because he doesn’t deserve this. He doesn’t deserve forgiveness or mercy from him, he deserves hate, but he never receives it. Crowfeather is too good for his wretchedness.

Hawkfrost always brings Crowfeather something from RiverClan when he visits him, often something he thinks Crowfeather would find interesting enough to keep. Sometimes it’s twoleg stuff that he’s caught off the shore, sometimes it’s a shell, or a neat looking rock, or fish scales that might look nice in his pelt. Crowfeather brings him wildflowers from the moor, mostly because hawkfrost always comments about his love for the scenic vista of WindClan, how prettily the flowers dot the hills. When hawkfrost thanks him he usually grumbles under his breath. Sometimes he gives him a crooked grin, and hawkfrost likes that much better.

They stargaze together — when they were younger they’d do so with Feathertail, hawk when she was still in RiverClan and Crow of course whilst on the journey. Feathertail would play a game where she’d make images out of the stars and challenge them to try and beat hers, neither of them think they did, but Feathertail always conceded at their ideas and congratulated them. Between the two of them, they try to keep track over what she’d made out of the stars. In a way, Crowfeather and Hawkfrost through Feathertail have learned to view constellations. There have been multiple attempts to get other cats in on this (mainly the other journey goers), but between explanations and their bickering most cats do not stick around to learn about the Star Shapes as they call them. Crowfeather does once absentmindedly bring it up to a full grown, distanced Breezepelt, who oddly, definitely not taking after his father, sits still and listens to him explain which stars form the shape of a lions face, or the form of dove. It’s a rare moment of calm between them.

Crowfeather always dreaded parenthood — mostly because he couldn’t think of having to raise them with someone he didn’t much care for, something he believed he’d eventually settle for. With Hawkfrost, fatherhood became a bit easier to handle, though he still dreaded the thought of more than one Hawkfrost. Hawkfrost had always wanted to be a father, he wasn’t really focused on who he’d have them with if he even have them himself, he just wanted to do something right, inspire wonderment in someone younger than he. With Crowfeather, the fear settled in, doubt as to whether he can actually be the person he wants to be — to Crowfeather, to a hypothetical child.

Crowfeather knows how to swim only because hawkfrost was insistent he’d learn in class of a flood. In the moors. On the other hand — Crowfeather didn’t need to teach Hawkfrost about how WindClanners run, he had that covered oddly as a fish-breath. Honestly, it enchanted him the first time he saw Hawkfrost run through those hills, wind blowing through his fur. Hawkfrost can’t lie either, half the reason he wanted Crowfeather to learn to swim was to see the beauty of him in the water, and it was a hard job getting him in that water, but the way it made the glossy black of his pelt shimmer? Unforgettable.

The two like to play fight and wrestle a lot — it’s often how they solve disagreements. They have a sparring match and whoever wins you have to go with their way of things. Of course they don’t use claws or teeth in these fights, they’re not animals, most of it is just roughhousing between bros.

Hawkfrost’s many nicknames for crow include; rabbiter, long legs, squawks, nagfeather, bitter thing, twig, twiglegs, blackbird, songbird, nagbird (he likes to make a point of his nagging), “my bird”, “my crow”, “my shadow”, and of course “lover dearest”.

Crowfeathers nicknames for hawk are; fox charmer, adder eyes, fish breath, catfish, (my) little bird (hawk is shorter than crow no exceptions), kestrel, (my) flea, little flea, foxglove, asphodel (of all the names he calls hawkfrost, flowers are the most common), honeysuckle, (my) sea-breeze, (my) little hawk, and his favorite “my killer” (sarcastically but also very emotionally literal). Though hawkfrost is more clever at name making — Crowfeather has beaten him in the sheer amount of things that reminds him of hawk.

Crowfeather is a hopeless romantic, it’s a well known secret at this point (he’d never admit it). Hawkfrost is a dreamer at heart, so caught up in those dreams he forgets himself, and though love is so important to him he’s grown fearful of it.

It’s often worse for everyone else, but them when they’re together, as much as they bicker they do really put their heads together.

While RiverClan and WindClan have trouble seeing the obvious nature of their relationship, all of ThunderClan and ShadowClan are blatantly aware somehow, though there are exceptions like Mothwing and perhaps Ashfoot. Ashfoot cannot help, but tease her little crow about his boyfriend across the border, and Mothwing never says anything, but she arches her brow at hawk when he tells her he’ll be out near the borders in case she needs him to bring back herbs. They’d never tell the rest of the clan, but, it is perplexing. Later on, Nightcloud also realizes crow has his sights set on hawkfrost, and she’s not surprised he’s into toms in the slightest, more so surprised at his “type”. Leafpool has never been able to understand the relationship between the two (she’s really bad at relationships), but squirrelflight knew from day one they were in love, she just didn’t know whether to be happy for Crowfeather or upset that it was Hawkfrost. Brambleclaw likely couldn’t see a badger of it were right in front of him. Tawnypelt called it ahead of time, but by then Feathertail was dead so she couldn’t pay her, Stormfur had to in her absence even though he’d been neutral on the whole thing. Feathertail is laughing in StarClan.

Hawkfrost, through Crowfeather is slowly better acclimated to the journey crew. Squirrelflight starts to actually like Hawkfrost’s company. It’s terrible news for Crowfeather.

In a world where hawkfrost still dies at the lake, Crowfeather is destroyed, the scars of Feathertails passing being torn open and cut deeper. Why was someone so clever so, so stupid? Why did he throw it all away? Hawkfrost could never answer him, but when he sees breezepelt for the first time, there’s a spark of recognition. Like he’s met a younger version of Crowfeather, and somehow, himself, but, greater things await, and these feelings are buried, just as he was.

If leafcrow were to still happen in a continuity where crowhawk is still a thing, Crowfeather is definitely projecting Hawkfrost onto her, and Leafpool is likely projecting Mothwing onto him. They fell in love with the fucking disaster twins.

Crowfeather doesn’t like the smell of fish, so hawkfrost has taken to eating herbs to make his breath smell better — for unrelated reasons of course. Mothwing laughs at the sidestepping, but slides him what’s needed anyways.

Hawkfrost once told Crowfeather he’d found a ThunderClan Tom quite handsome, he’d liked his build. Crowfeather for a full moon began sneaking into ThunderClan to ask Brambleclaw and Squirrelflight for training and pointers on how to build muscle. It was annoying, and when Brambleclaw commented on the weird behavior to Hawkfrost, he burst into a fit of laughter for some reason. Huh. Later on Hawkfrost brought it up to Crowfeather, how remained stubborn on it being a lie until Hawkfrost said “I like your twig legs better anyhow, don’t go getting badger bodied on me.” At that, Crowfeather relented, annoyed by his odd jeering praise.

Crowfeather has a habit of sleeping wrapped around the RiverClan tom, his long body just curls around him perfectly well. It also stops the nightmares from plaguing Hawkfrost in the night, so it’s a win-win for both of them.

They’ve agreed on a number of kit names before; Hopkit, Frogkit, Featherkit, Stonekit, Kestrelkit, Laurelkit, Pikekit, Owlkit, Ravenkit, Rookkit, Lavenderkit, Honeykit (for honeysuckle), Jackdawkit and Breezekit. There are more, but there’d be too many to count at that point. To note, Crowfeather prefers names based on weather, flowers or actions, while hawk has always liked names based on animals (all his littermates were named after animals so why not his kids?), though he does like Crowfeathers flower names.

Hawk has a knack for telling stories, and while Crowfeather honestly isn’t much for listening to them, when it’s Hawkfrost, occasionally he’ll let him retell some stories. Hawkfrost’s favorite is Stonefurs, he’s memorized it by heart and when he gets towards the end, his eyes shine with a strange sense of pride and grief. “What a bright star to be blotted out — but, stars, to be brave like that? I suppose some flames are meant to burn out faster than others.”

The two share some odd understanding of being fatherless individuals; though the circumstances are largely different between the two. Crowfeather longs in some ways to have known Deadfoot, maybe to fill at least half of the hole he left in WindClan when he died. Hawkfrost, even after meeting with his father is unsure, unsure of himself, unsure of what he’s heard, of the truth, of what he feels — everything is very confusing for him, especially in regards to what he believes. There’s a pain there that they know the other feels, but due to how different their situations are, speaking about it tends to be difficult.

On the contrary, Ashfoot becomes a second mother to Hawkfrost, like his mother while he’s far from Sasha. She reminds her of Sasha even though they aren’t that similar, and Crowfeather, though always very much a downer also loves his mother dearly. When Hawkfrost accidentally calls her “mom”, it stops becoming an accident every other time, so supposedly at that point it’s official that the two toms are a couple.

Mothwing and Crowfeather have an odd relationship. They kind of hate eachother, but they’re also good friends. Hawkfrost doesn’t pretend to understand what’s happening.