The Struggle of todayâs Parents
As a parent of three amazing children, I find that it is getting harder to keep my children from growing up too soon. When we were growing up, technology was just on the rise, internet wasnât readily available to the public so freely, mobile phones were just phones, and there were no tablets, and our video games were Mario, Donkey Kong, and Sonic. Kids actually played outside and sleepover were watching movies, doing each others hair, painting nails, building forts and water balloon fights.Â
But today, kids all have the latest phones out, with internet access that isnât being monitored, being exposed to sex and alcohol way before they should, dressing like little grown men and women instead of little boys and girls. The video games of today are full of sex, violence and drugs. The cartoons they watch are riddled with inappropriate sexual innuendos, and sleep overs always turn into something sexual. The amount of outside influences really impact the youth of today.Â
My spouse and I, work very hard to make sure that our children get to enjoy being children. We try very hard to keep them from being exposed to things before they need to, and growing up too soon. Unfortunately, we can not control how other parentâs raise their children, and what they allow their children to do. So when these children tend to be around our children they expose them to things we were hoping they would be a little older before we had to deal with. The worst feeling is trying to make sure your child is still a child at the age of 9 and 10 years old and they are being made fun of in school because they still like dolls, and donât have cell phones. Donât get me wrong, our children are very technologically savvy, they have tablets, laptops, and mp3 players. They are all set up with parental locks, so their internet is monitored and they cant download, or view any inappropriate materials. We do not believe our children need cell phones at this age. Our children are always with one of us or another responsible adult we trust. If they arenât at school, they are home. Our children get dropped off and picked up. They do not walk anywhere on their own. So therefore, they do not need a phone. It is very upsetting when our children come home from school, stating this child showed them something on vine, or Youtube, and ask questions about what they overheard another child saying.Â
Our children are not naive, but they are children, and certain things we genuinely believe should not be learned about until much older. It is very difficult when you are raising your children in a very honest household, where they can come to us with anything and we would answer as best possible given their age. So when our children come home asking âWhat is Netflix and Chillâ âWhat is a threesomeâ What is Spin the Bottleâ âWhat is Pornâ...we find ourselves in a tough situation because honestly their is no real reason why my 10 and 9 year old should know about these things but their peers discuss this at school. We knew the day would come when these questions would be asked, but we were hoping for a couple more years. So we find ourselves having these uncomfortable conversations with our children because we rather they hear the truth and correct answer from us, than whatever misinformation other children may have. Of course, these topics always come with follow up questions. So we do the best we can given the circumstances.
The problem is today parents do not have the time to watch over their children as carefully because they are working one or more jobs just to be able to provide for their kids, and canât spend as much time at home. There are also the parents who donât come from the same educational background, and do not have the knowledge necessary to know the true dangers that come with given children too much too soon, before they are ready. Â So they give them cell phones so they can reach them when ever, and have to allow them to walk to and from school. Children being children will naturally want to test boundaries and explore things they are not supposed to because they can. So if parentâs donât monitor their web browsing or download history, kids will get away with everything, and then share with the rest of their friends what they learned. I can not be mad at those parentâs who donât genuinely have the time to do all the extra monitoring because they are always working, or donât have the technological knowledge but there are those parents who just donât care what their children do, say, or watch. Itâs those parents that make it difficult for people like us who only want to best for our kids. As parents we can only best prepare our children for the world to the best of our ability, but truth is they will always be exposed to things whether you want them to our not. Â Its all about how you handle it, and make sure that damage done isnât too great and you can still teach them the right way before it gets out of hand.Â
The other issue I find, is that with more kids having kids, they level of discipline, knowledge and responsibility is not the same. A lot of these younger parents, tend to want to be more like friends to their children than parents, they feel because they are closer in age that their bond would be better if they tried to be more encouraging as a friend. But children need guidance, and structure. But how do you do that when, you didnât have that to begin with. Financially the burden is harder, because the chances of having a well paying job at a young age is slim to none, and if you donât have a good support system then you have to try to figure it out on your own. Raising children is not easy not by a long shot, it is emotionally and financially straining. Requires a lot of time, energy, and patience. There is no instruction manual telling you how to be a great parent, or what to expect. People can only share their life experiences and what worked for them, and you can hope it works for you as well. If you do end up being a parent to multiple children you were soon learn, that even with your own children the way you parent will have to be altered and tweaked because what worked with one will not with the other. You always think that as they get older it becomes easier, but truth is it doesnât. The types of worries also evolve as they grow, your concerns get more and more serious because then its the sex, drug, alcohol, crime. Teenagers start to get privileges and stay out late, and are driving, and hanging out with friends. And as much as you want to protect them, they will always find a way to keep things from you, you can only hope and pray that you taught them well enough to make smart choices, and that they understand all actions have consequences.Â
