#hatid sundo

Over at work, Alex saw Chona streaming that one playlist that she created for Jerry when they were still together. Hindi naman nagrereklamo si Alex. Alam naman niyang first love nito si Jerry at hindi na mabubura 'yon kay Chona kahit na wala na si Jerry. Pero minsan, hindi niya maiwasang hindi isipin na hindi pa siya nakaka-move on kay Jerry. This is one of those instances.

Pag-uwi ni Alex galing trabaho, napansin agad ni Chona ang pagkatamlay niya. "O, mukhang pagod na pagod ka, a?" Tumango lang siya saka pumunta agad sa kwarto.

Walang gana si Alex ngayon. Baka masumbatan lang niya si Chona. Ayaw niya ng gano'n.

*   *   *

Chona knows there's something wrong with Alex even if she doesn't tell her. Kilala na niya ito. Hindi niya sasabihin kay Chona na nagtatampo siya sa kanya. She's gonna have to figure out why she's acting this way. If she can't figure it out herself, she's gonna have to go straight to wooing her.

She is so sure that she said nothing to offend her lately. So maybe it's something she did? So she started recalling the things she did since this morning that may have offended her.

Nung almusal nila, okay pa naman sila. Nagtatawanan pa nga sila habang kumakain e. Hinatid pa nga niya si Alex sa trabaho niya. Pagkauwi ni Chona, naglinis lang siya ng bahay habang nakikinig sa music.

Wait.

Chona immediately went to her playlist to check which playlist she was listening to a while ago. Shoot.

*   *   *

Nagtatampo pa rin si Alex. Gabi na pero hindi pa rin siya sinusuyo ni Chona. Kanina pa siya nasa loob ng kwarto at nagsisimula na siyang makaramdam ng gutom. She was about to go out when she heard a ping from her phone.

Chona sent a photo. It's a Spotify code.

Chona: I'm sorry it took a while but here's the playlist that I made especially for you.

It has been five months since I broke up with Chona and yet it felt like five decades of my life has passed. I may have left her to get my treatment so I could live longer but it's so ironic because I feel so dead without her by my side.

She's blocked in all of my social media accounts to prevent me from messaging her to take me back. Every time I want to unblock her and call her, I remind myself of the reason why I broke up with her.

Pumunta ako sa Amerika para magpagamot. Para kapag magaling na ako, hinding-hindi ko na siya iiwan ulit. Para matupad ko yung pangako ko sa kanyang mamahalin ko siya hanggang sa pagputi ng mga buhok niya.

The only connection I have with her is probably her Spotify profile. Nakita kong nandun pa yung collaborative playlist namin entitled, "habambuhay at hanggang kamatayan." It contains all the songs that implicitly tells our story and feelings.

Napansin kong may bagong kantang dinagdag si Chona sa playlist na yun.

What a shame Didn't wanna be the one that got away, yeah Big mistake, you broke the sweetest promise That you never should have made

First verse pa lang, natamaan na ako agad. I guess she's right. I shouldn't have made promises of staying by her side and loving her for the rest of our lives when I know that death may come at any time.

You really blew this, babe We ain't getting through this one, babe This is the last time I'll ever call you, babe (This is the last time, this is the last time) This is the last time I'll ever call you, babe

Memories came back flooding my mind as I listen to the song. The first time she called me babe I froze. I felt butterflies going wild in my stomach. That was the first time I felt that. Kay Chona lang ako nakaramdam ng iba't ibang klase ng emosyon.

I was never aware of the feelings I could possibly feel not until Chona came into my life.

Hindi ko namalayang umiiyak na pala ako kung hindi dahil kay Mommy. "Umiiyak ka na naman, anak."

I bitterly smiled at her while I wiped my tears away. "I miss her so much, Mom," I weeped at the thought of Chona and everything about her.

She said nothing but her embrace was enough to comfort me. Like a child, I cried all my tears and pain in my chest away.

Even if every fiber of my being wanted to contact her, I stopped myself because I still had to get better before running back to her.

Before finally letting go of her (for now), I added Taylor Swift's I Almost Do (Taylor's Version) at our playlist. Then I just sat on my hospital bed, hoping she would get my message.

Kanina pa kabado si Chona habang nasa kotse siya ni Jerry. Sinundo kasi niya ito mula sa bahay nila para tumulong mag-decorate ng Christmas tree ng pamilya ni Jerry.

Kwento ni Jerry sa kanya, tradisyon nila ito tuwing Pasko na maglagay ng mga dekorasyon sa bahay nila nang magkakasama. He wanted her to be a part of that Christmas tradition they had since childhood.

Pagpasok nilang dalawa sa bahay nila Jerry ay sinalubong sila ng mga balikbayan boxes kung saan nila tinatago ang mga Christmas decorations nila. Agad na binati ni Lili ang dalawa nang makita niya ang mga ito.

"Paano po ako makakatulong, Tita?" tanong ni Chona.

Tinuro ng nanay ni Jerry ang Christmas tree. "Simulan niyo nang sabitan ng ornaments yung puno natin." Nanlambot ang tingin ni Chona kay Tita Mylene niya.

Tuwing sinasali nila si Chona sa pamilya nila ay hindi mapigilan ni Chona ang matuwa. Sobrang sarap sa pakiramdam!

Sinamahan niya si Jerry na magsabit ng mga ornaments sa Christmas tree nila. Tuwang-tuwa pa si Chona nang malaman niyang may kwento sa likod ng bawat ornament.

May isang anghel na keychain na sinabit si Jerry. "Ang kwento nila Mama, binili raw ito ni Papa para sa kanya nung nililigawan pa lang niya si Mama."

"Ang cute naman!" komento ni Chona. "Eh ito?" pinakita niya ang hawak niyang maliit na statue na gawa sa clay.

"Gawa ni Lili 'yan nung bata pa siya," kwento ni Jerry. Sinabit na rin Chona yung hawak niya.

Pinagpatuloy ni Chona ang pagsasabit ng ornament nang biglang yakapin siya ni Jerry sa likuran niya. "Huy, ano ka ba! Makita tayo ng kapatid mo. Nakakahiya," suway ni Chona habang naglilinga-linga ang mga mata niya sa paligid kasi baka makita sila ng pamilya ni Jerry.

Nabaling lang ang atensyon ni Chona sa hawak ni Jerry nang iangat niya ito. Isa itong lovelock na may nakasulat na mga pangalan nilang dalawa.

Jerry

❤️

Chona

Bumitaw si Chona sa pagkakayakap ni Jerry sa kanya sa likod saka hinarap siya. She cupped his face and said nothing.

Hindi na kinailangang mag-explain ni Jerry. Isang ngiti lang niya ay gets na agad 'yon ni Chona. "Mahal na mahal kita, Chona."

Inatake ni Chona si Jerry ng yakap. "Mahal na mahal din kita."

Halos ibuga ni Alex ang iniinom niyang beer sa sinabi ni Chona sa kanya. "Can you repeat what you said?"

"I want a baby, Alex," pag-uulit nga ni Chona.

They've been cohabitating for a year and everything is going smoothly. Not until Chona started watching a sitcom called Modern Family. Simula nung mapanood niya yung gay couple na nagkaroon ng anak, nagsimula na itong magparinig kay Alex.

"Chona, paano tayo magkakaanak? We both have vaginas!" bulalas ni Alex kay Chona. She can't blame her. Malamang magugulat ito na gusto niya bigla magkaroon ng anak.

"We can try looking for a sperm donor," Chona suggested.

Alex scoffed. "And what? Are you willing to carry that child?" Napaisip naman si Chona sa sinabi ni Alex.

Tumango naman si Chona. Pero mabilis na tumanggi si Alex. "Hindi pwede. Walang mag-aalaga sa'yo kapag pumunta na ako sa trabaho."

Tumayo si Chona galing sa sofa nila saka hinuli si Alex na kanina pa naglalakad nang pabalik-balik. "Do you wanna try adoption?" tanong ni Chona sa kanya habang tinitignan siya sa mga mata ni Alex. "We can adopt a big kid already."

Doon lang kumalma si Alex–nang tignan siya ni Chona sa mga mata nito. Na para bang kakayanin nilang magpalaki ng bata basta't magkasama sila. Nginitian siya ni Chona. Tila nawala lahat ng pinoproblema ni Alex.

"We're gonna be moms."

"We're gonna be moms," Chona agreed while she was chuckling as they both nodded.