#harry plotter

Ok so I was doing something in the school kindles and I stumbled upon what I thought was a Harry Potter book. I clicked it because the first thing I saw was "Chamber of Serpents." The main name title was in really close up cursive so I couldn't read it, so I was intrigued. I thought that "Oh hey I guess something messed up?" And so I clicked on it. It opened to a random page and I immediately saw that it was a parody.

Harris was HAGGART

Draco was DRANO

Harry's last name was PLOTTER

Hermione last name was DANGER

Crabbes first name was RINCCENT

Snape was SMAPE

Gryffindor was GRYFFINBORE

Slitherin was SLIPPERIN

Hufflepuff was HUFFALUMP

Ravenclaw was RAVENBEAK

Lockheart was LUCKHEART

Quidditch was QUILTIGE

Hogwarts was HOGWORTS

Dumbledore was DUMBLESNORE

Neville Longbottom was (in pretty sure) SNEVILLE THONGBOTTOM

I'm pretty sure Harry was a American exchange student.

The front cover was a boy looking at the hogworts (it was probably called that, I didn't actually read it) and he had a American flag on his backpack.

Already started and this is the first fucking paragraph:

High above, on the side of a cliff, stood the largest castle I’d ever seen-ever imagined. The windows glowed with candlelight,, as the last desperate rays of light silhouetted the castle against a gray sky. I knew Britain was famous for old crumbly buildings, but this place was ridiculous.

Snuffles is Sirius' "dog name" and all, but it is quite obvious Harry's writing to someone secret, right? But if he'd write Dudley, it would be kind of weird, but still less obvious as "Snuffles". Also the content of the letters always seem a little forced, because it's code, so it would just seem like Harry is trying to be nice to his cousin and write him, but doesn't actually know what to say. 

Dear Dudley,

Hope you’re OK, the first week back here’s been terrible, I’m really glad it’s the weekend. We’ve got a new Defence against the Dark arts teacher, professor Umbridge. She’s nearly as nice as your mum. I’m writing to you because that thing I told you about last summer happend again last night when I was doing a detention with Umbridge. We’re all missing our biggest friend, we hope he’ll be back soon.

Please write back quickly.

Best, Harry