#hardtalks

Here’s something to know about me. One little piece of who I am. I’m scared of storms. I know, crazy right? I’m an adult who’s admittedly terrified of storms. The thunder, mostly. Oops, I gave two pieces. Oh well; it’s hard to think me a kid. 

Something about the thunder clapping reminds me of being yelled at frequently when I was a child. Home when I was growing up? Not the best place in the world. Which leads to my first actual discussion. Injustice. 

Injustice… It’s an injustice that a little kid should be blamed for everything that goes wrong in their parents, aunts, uncles, grandparents' lives. In my case, it was my grandfather. I think somewhere in his mind it was my fault his wife died. How did she die, you ask? Cancer. It’s not the sin of the four-year-old child that gave her cancer, who had yet to be born when she got sick; she worked in a hospital. Around radiation, specifically. 

He was fine when I was little. He treated me normally, the way a grandparent would treat their first grandchild. I mean, he had my cousin, Z, who’s only a few months younger than me. But I was the one who was always closest to him. Then I moved in with him. 

Something in him snapped. And I know so many other kids go through so many of the same things I did. Mental abuse, making them think they aren’t enough or that it’s somehow their fault. Emotional abuse, making them believe they aren’t wanted or that they were a mistake. Physical... Well, that one speaks for itself. 

Of course, these are just some samples. Other means of injustice could be like taking your friends' side against someone they don’t like, just because they don’t like them. Others being treated badly because of the color of their skin. Their weight. Their height. And that’s a problem.

With this, so many kids develop eating disorders, or struggle with their skin. They wish they were shorter or taller. We’re shown the beauty standard: pale skin, skinny, blonde hair, blue eyes, rich. What about kids with dark skin, plump body, brown hair, brown eyes? Tan skin, mixed skin. Gray eyes, green eyes, bronze eyes. 

What about kids who don’t have money? Who don’t come from wealthy families that know where dinner is coming from the next day? Kids who have to rely on school some days just to get food for that day? Kids who have to worry about the power getting shut off, or the water? Kids who are hungry and tired all the time?

What about kids who are born with vitiligo or heterochromia? If you’re born an albino, with vampire white hair, skin, and bright red eyes? Kids who are gay, trans, intersex, nonbinary, genderfluid, anything in between. We’re taught we have to fit the beauty standard. Have to stay quiet. If our home life isn’t great, it’s our fault, and we have to learn to survive, taking it a day at a time. 

That’s injustice, and it’s not okay that we’re raising our kids in this! We have to work together to change the standards. We have to show kids it’s okay to ask for help, and it’s okay to help. That it’s okay to be different. If we don’t, who will? We have to be the change they see. Want to make a difference? Stand with me. 

Just for laughs 🤣

A TYPICAL MALAYSIAN CONFERENCE By Pisang Raja

Venue : a luxurious hotel, somewhere in KL Supposed to start at 9 am.

0800 : Participants start trickling in 0800 : Breakfast (kalau tak bagi breakfast, mesti kena kutuk) 0830 : The usual mamat blur who doesn’t understand how the parking works argues with the secretariat. 0845 : Hall is only 30% filled

0900 : MC and organizing chairman walk up and down looking worried 0915 : MC announces that conference will start in a few moments and asks everyone to take their seats. Many still don’t want to move away from their breakfast (mee goreng, samosa and local fruits). 0935 : Sudden frenzy. Organizers get text message saying the VIP is just around the corner (although nobody knows which corner) 0945 : VIP arrives and is ushered to the waiting room. Some participants have already jumped out of the window because of boredom.

1000 : VIP enters the conference hall. 1010 : Organizing chairman gives a rambling speech which no one understands 1030 : The Ketua Pengarah of some department gives a rambling speech which no one understands 1050 : The VIP gives a rambling speech which no one understands 1110 : Organizing chairman gives a token of appreciation to the Ketua Pengarah. The Ketua Pengarah gives a token of appreciation to the VIP. The VIP gives a token of appreciation to the sponsors. The sponsors give a token of appreciation to my cat. Selangor Pewter makes a lot of money. 1120 : Mandatory photo shoot. 1130 : Coffee break

1150 : Session starts. Some random guy from the US delivers the first paper. Question time. An Aussie asks the first question. Nobody understands what he is asking. A Somalian post-graduate student asks the 2nd question. Nobody understands what he is asking. No more questions. Not a single Malaysian asks any questions. 1230 : Second paper. Another Pengarah from some random department delivers his paper. Nobody understands what he is presenting. Question time. The same Aussie asks another question. The speaker mumbles an answer about how the western NGOs are tarnishing our country. No more questions. Not a single Malaysian asks any questions.

1300 : MC announces Lunch Break. Hurray…. All Malaysian participants get excited, walk out and start asking many questions. Where is lunch served? How do I get my parking ticket stamped? Where is the surau? Kenapa dalam dewan tu sejuk sangat? Lunch buffet ada ais kacang tak? 1310 - 1430 : Buffet lunch. The Malaysian participants are very happy.

1430 : Conference reconvenes. Half the participants are missing. Only the foreigners, a handful of Malaysians and the organizing committee members remain. 1430 – 1700 : Same old, same old 1700 : Conference ends with only 25% of the original participants remaining. But all the conference bags are gone. 1730 : The organizers declare the conference a major success.