#hamaria

please dont go, sir!

can you tell i like making these

not sure if this is what you meant by doodle but yes sure

1) In "Great expectations" Philip mentions that one of the main reasons he decided to stay home was because he didn't like/felt uncomfortable about the way Angelica stared at alexander, I was curious if by this, Philip implied she was staring at Hamilton in a pervy way or a hateful one.

2) In your other fic (srry I forgot the name) I was curious about the implie that alexander got SA'd when he was still a child. I was curious about it because I wanted to know where the idea came from.

(All of this curiosity doesn't come in a hateful way, I adore your hammaria fics)

1 - The former. Philip absolutely knows the difference between “I admire your mind” and “I am mentally undressing you over the dinner table.” Angelica does the second one, and he hates it. Not in a “ew, she’s evil” way but in that kid sense of “why is this grown woman eyeing my dad like he’s the last biscuit at communion?” It makes him uncomfortable because it crosses lines—marriage lines, family lines, decorum lines. He feels protective, and he also feels the secondhand embarrassment of watching someone behave wildly in public.

2 - Okay, so this one is more complicated, and it’s very much a “reading Hamilton’s early life through the cracks” situation rather than “this is historical fact.”

When I first read Chernow’s stuff about Hamilton’s childhood, a lot of it hit me sideways. The man basically grew up in a pressure cooker of poverty, instability, violence, and social stigma, and Chernow talks about him in a way that makes your brain start connecting dots, even if he doesn’t connect them himself.

What got me thinking wasn’t the queer-reading of Hamilton and Laurens—everyone and their grandmother knows eighteenth-century men wrote like they were in a Regency romance—but the way Chernow keeps circling back to:

Hamilton being described as “feminine,”

the Caribbean’s really dark culture around sexuality, exploitation, and power,

convicts—including “sodomites”—being dumped there en masse,

the fact that Hamilton was a pretty, poor, unprotected boy in a brutal, lawless port economy.

Put all that together and you get this eerie sense of vulnerability. Not “this definitely happened,” but “holy hell, he grew up in a place where kids were absolutely not safe.”

Chernow tiptoes around it, very historian-style, but the atmosphere he describes is full of predators, stigma, and the kind of sexual exposure kids absolutely should not have. If you’re a young Hamilton, absorbing all of that, being treated as delicate or “different,” and watching adults weaponize sexuality as shame or punishment...yeah. It’s not hard to imagine that his emotional wiring got shaped by some darker experiences, even if they were subtle or implied rather than overt. And Hamilton’s later patterns—clingy attachments, overwhelming emotional intensity, the desperate hunger for validation from other (typically older) men—fit that general psychological profile. Talked about this more in depth here.

I also want to be super clear about this because I get how people can read it the wrong way: the stuff in the fic about Hamilton’s childhood was not put there for trauma porn or shock value. That’s literally the opposite of what I was doing. The point was to draw a throughline between the ways we interpret Maria and Hamilton—both of them being children exposed to situations that were sexually unsafe, both of them navigating a world where adults weaponized sexuality against the powerless. I wanted to explore how those early experiences (whether hinted at in history or inferred from behavior) might shape how they relate to trust, attachment, and affection later in life.