#hallowpens

Sebastian, or whoever the hell he was, completely chipped away at what was left of Helen’s family. He attacked the Los Angeles Institute... her home, and left devastation in his wake. Her father and Katerina had turned Endarkened, Mark was taken hostage, and the rest of her siblings— still so young— were left to flee for their safety. As for Helen… she had been unable to help them. She hated herself more than she hated Sebastian. For being unable to protect the one thing she believed in more than anything else.

Images still flashed through her mind of how she had failed her family when they had needed her most: her brothers and sisters painfully gripping the mortal sword while being ruthlessly interrogated by the Clave, Dru and Tavvy screaming awake from the nightmares that haunted them, Emma mourning the loss of her parents, and the knife— buried in her father’s chest by Jules’ hand. These were the memories she would forever try to forget, adding to the stinging she still felt inside her chest.

Aside from the ties of family, Helen had once valued being a shadowhunter. At the council meeting after the Dark War, Helen was expecting for someone to acknowledge the "abomination" that was her mixed blood. It led them to assume that she and her brother, Mark, could no longer be trusted. Rallies for banishment echoed throughout the room, regardless to the family Helen would leave behind. Helen had made her alliance clear, “I fought at the Burren, and at the Citadel, and in Alicante, to protect my family and protect Nephilim. I’ve never given anyone reason to question my loyalty.” Helen was a shadowhunter. Despite the faerie blood that coursed through her veins, she had never known anything different. There had been efforts to help her, vain attempts made to insist upon Helen’s allegiance.

Helen was sure that the Clave, whom she had always respected, could not be so cruel as to send her away. Ultimately, arguments had been futile and hope had been foolish. Helen was "re-assigned" to Wrangel Island. Mark had been left to the mercy of the Wild Hunt. Helen was devastated, gripping Aline’s hand so tightly in her own that she was sure both turned white. She remembered thinking: if this was how shadowhunters treated their own kind, there was no value in that.

The meeting had come to an end, and Helen felt as though her heart had been shattered into a thousand tiny pieces left broken on the ground for everyone to trample on. The only person who could bring her some sense of clarity and comfort in that moment was the girl who had never moved from her side. She and Aline were currently inside the Consul's office waiting for Magnus to open the portal to Wrangel Island. Helen had already said goodbye to her siblings, trying her best to reassure them in the face of her pending absence.

"I'm so sorry about this, Helen," Jia Penhallow had, no doubt, noticed the endless sorrow in the blonde's eyes. "Truly, I am."

Helen nodded, wiping the tears from her cheeks as she reached down once again to hold Aline's hand. It was something her body did automatically now, whenever she needed the other girl to strengthen her resolve. "It's okay," Helen responded, her voice thick. She cleared her throat, sniffling in the manner of someone who had just finished crying heavy tears. Helen glanced up at the Consul. "It's okay," she repeated, this time slightly more convincing. Helen's appearance betrayed her false pretense. Her face was paler than usual, the grief easily shown through her paper thin smile. Helen looked ill: face wet, hands shaking, eyes empty and tired. The reality only made her more sad and undeniably angry.

Helen shook her head, looking as though she was about to start crying again. "No. No, it really isn't," she decided with a sigh. She squeezed Aline's hand for courage. "It's not going to be okay, not ever." she stated firmly, standing tall. "Not until I am able to take care of my family like I need to."

She offered Jia a thankful smile, "But that isn't your fault, nor is it mine. This was a harsh decision brought on by fear, fear that has been well earned in my opinion. I understand it, I understand that fear. I have felt it myself... and no, I am not at fault. But, I am still being sent away. I'm the one they want to punish, but it's my siblings who are truly paying. That's what isn't okay."

Helen took a deep, shuddering breath as she finished her small speech. When Helen had nothing left to add, Magnus lifted his hands, a portal now swirling open beside them. Helen could not find the physical strength within herself to let go of Aline's hand. It wouldn't be goodbye forever. Her girlfriend had promised to come stay with her only a short week later, once the council meetings had finally concluded. Helens arms reached around Aline's slim frame and embraced her. Tears began to stream slowly from her already weary eyes as she leaned her head against Aline's shoulder. "I love you so much," it was all Helen could say to thank her for all she had done since coming into her life. Helen unwound her arms and placed a quick kiss on Aline's cheek. She shifted slightly, reaching up to stroke Aline's hair and placed another softer kiss upon her lips. Helen pulled away reluctantly and stared at the portal glowing in front of them. Magnus and Jia had stepped back to allow them some form of privacy.

Dark clouds accumulated above, blocking out what little remained of the moon's light. The potent aroma of water filled the night air as light rain hit the dock's surface. Helen stood erect at the edge of the Santa Monica Pier, her view focused over the shadows scattered across the dark scenery of Pacific Park. Rain fell heavier as thunder echoed across the sky. Its florescence flashed in the dark, a striking light in the blackness. Aline had been concealed somewhere in that darkness, waiting for opportunity to strike. Her voice rang through Helen's com as she communicated with Julian, "Are you sure this is right? I don't see anything." Having activated a vision rune, Helen's enhanced optics surveyed her surroundings for any small sign of movement. There was none. Julian, from the institute's headquarters, answered, "Sensors are picking up an unusual amount of demon activity within that area." His voice sounded sure, but Aline continued to question him, "My sensor hasn't detected any demonic signatures from the immediate vicinity." "Maybe it's broken," came the response. And before Helen could deactivate her com to better focus, she had heard Emma in the background scolding, "Maybe they can hear you from all the talking." That brought a smile to her face. Helen knew the comment had been made as a frustration from having been benched, and not as any type of hurtful criticism. Even in the gravest of situations, Emma could find a way to complain of things having not gone her way. Both Helen and Aline found it somewhat endearing: it was the action of a younger sibling. 

As if on cue, Helen's sensor began to vibrate in her back pocket. Three silhouettes entered into view from the distance. Their speed increasing as they neared her position, Helen grabbed her staff from the case harnessed to her back. The sound of quick clattering behind her alerted Helen to the presence of several ravener demons skittering across the pier toward her rear. She could hear their desperately loud screeching as Aline's seraph blade sliced through their scaled carapace. Helen met the icy blue eyes of the eidolon demon leading the small group in front of her. Angered by the failed ambush, the demon flashed a myriad of sharpened teeth as his jaw split open in four opposite directions. Flanked by fellow shape-shifters on either side, he charged forward toward the young shadowhunter. Without hesitation, Helen twisted the two ends of her staff in opposite directions. Allowing it to detach at the center, she pulled the handgrips apart to reveal two adamas blades.     

Aline never dropped her guard or second guessed herself in a fight, she was too well calculated. The moment she realized Helen as the planted bait had succeeded, she jumped into action. Ravener demons rarely traveled alone, but they weren't known for being the most intelligent of creatures. As predicted, with their attention focused on her girlfriend, Aline was able to take out several of the horde before the others had even noticed. The skies encouraging her with a thunderous applause, Aline maneuvered expertly from one demon to another. Her body dodging stingers and toxin laced fangs, Aline's seraph blade whipped through the air burning each insectile beast until they had all turned to ash. The task now over, Aline had only one other goal in mind: to help Helen. Footsteps mixed with light splashes of rain water as Helen circled around the two remaining eidolons who stood hesitant and unsure by the loss of their leader. Eliminating the first demon had been too easy. Underestimating Helen's dexterity had led to a blade straight through its chest. Contemplating her strategy, Helen noticed Aline inching ever closer from behind their targets. Helen could see her love's blade at the ready, so she flipped back. Her palms connected with the ground as she elevated her body to kick out as hard as she could. Helen's feet connected with one demon's abdomen, sending it flying into the light of Aline's seraph blade. The last of their prey came to crouch over Helen and her shadowhunter survival instincts kicked in. Absent deliberation, and before the demon could make a move, Helen sat up to stab one of her blades into the side of its throat. The wind carried away its disintegrated remains. 

Aline had found a kinship with Alec from a very young age. He reminded her very much of herself: so afraid of disappointing those close to her, that the need to prove herself overtook everything else. It was a burden that weighed heavier on her shoulders the older she became. Aline saw what overcoming that burden had done for Alec. He seemed happier and more self-assured. He had stepped out of the shadows and was no longer afraid to stand up for who or what he believed in, regardless of Clave tradition. Aline hoped that once Alec had been appointed Head of the Institute,  the Clave would be more open to newer ideals. That hope had been premature, to say the least. Nothing had changed. Those not brave enough to criticize Alec to his face had done so behind his back, both in hushed conversation and quite openly to anyone at the Council meetings who were primed to listen. Such a backwards institution would never, in this lifetime, be fully accepting of the kind of leader Alec positioned himself to be.

Almost as if she could read Aline's mind, Jia spoke to that very concern, "Times are changing. The younger generation doesn't see things as black and white as we once did. We should have a Council that reflects that, don’t you think?" Jia and Patrick Penhallow were hardly sticklers for the law. Their marriage had been one of mild controversy, and plagued the discussions of Clave members for several months after they had already taken over the Beijing Institute. Aline had heard the stories, and she still admired her mother's backbone in light of such contention. After all, look where it had gotten her. Jia Penhallow was one of the most respected Clave officials in all of Alicante, the very reason she had been elected Consul.  

"It doesn’t matter what I think," Aline remarked defeatedly. Despite recent events, she had long ago succumbed to the Clave's rigidity.

"On the contrary," her mother was never one to yield in the face of adversity, "it matters very much." Jia had a way of speaking that inspired the will of others, Aline included. "Your voice, and others like it, will make all the difference in this fight for tolerance." 

Aline speculated the idea that maybe her mother knew more about her than she let on. Before she could further dwell on this particular thought, Jia continued, "Alec can do his part in New York, but the delegates we select for the Council should help pave the way for the future." It was clear, given her years of service, that Jia had expected such political reform. "The Clave is not without its faults," it was a fair admission, "but the Council did not object in any way to take on Alec Lightwood as a delegate. Nor did they oppose the recommendation of Andrew Blackthorn's eldest child."

Aline's curiosity peeked at the mention of the Blackthorns. It was a last name that had become synonymous with scandal within the shadowhunter community. When the family patriarch was rumored to have had Seelie-born children, it was impossible to remain unnoticed. The Clave viewed the blending of pure shadowhunter blood with that of a downworlder as unconscionable; the Blackthorns endured the unfortunate consequences of that judgment for several years. Even though they had been allowed to remain Co-Heads of the Los Angeles Institute, Andrew and Eleanor were never invited to attend Council meetings or important Clave ceremonies. In turn, they were not subtle in their disdain for the Law, their children having long suffered under its prejudice. Yet despite these setbacks, Andrew's daughter Helen had made quite the name for herself in her commitment and skills as a shadowhunter. Still, her trustworthiness had been called into question on several occasions, given her faerie blood. It was a wonder that the Council agreed to offer her a position as one of their delegates. Aline suspected the Council's lack of resistance was a ploy to keep a closer eye on the girl. Either way, with her mother at the helm, Aline was quite optimistic to how this might play out.

Helen had searched the entire perimeter around the house to no avail. She was so certain she would find something that she was almost disappointed that she hadn't. She was now back inside shaking out her arms and legs trying to get feeling back into her frozen limbs. It was no use, it was just as cold inside the house as it was out in the woods. If she had brought her stele, the nephilim would have applied several thermis runes to her body but, much to her dismay, Helen had left the darn thing on her nightstand. With the extreme lack of use for it, Helen had grown careless in forgetting to bring it with her wherever she went. The young girl cursed exasperatedly under her breath as she made a move to return to bed and the warmth of her girlfriend sleeping beside her.

A pale hand opened the door to her bedroom and she entered the small space to find her Aline, not asleep in bed, but waiting up for her at their small writing desk. Aline sat upon the desk's accompanying metal chair with a warm cup of tea in her hand. Helen noticed the liquid was still letting off steam in the cold air. The smell of mint and honey wafted through the small enclosed space of their bedroom. Aline rose from her seat and placed the cup she was carrying gently in Helen's hands. Helen gave her a grateful smile and was met with a kind look in return. Aline's eyes held Helen's with a discerning stare. Helen knew they saw through her forced facade. Still, she pretended as if her behavior this night, and the several before, had been completely normal.

"The wards keep out any kind of threat," Aline stated factually. "You can go out there every night," she sounded sympathetic now, "but you're not going to find what it is you're looking for."

Sea green eyes drifted from the face of her beloved, to the warm drink now securely grasped in her hands. "I miss them," Helen admitted.

Aline didn't have to ask for clarification, "I know." She closed whatever minute gap stood between them and placed her forehead against Helen's, her right hand coming to rest upon the elder girl's left cheek.

Helen's vision began to blur as small tears began to gather in her eyes. Her now shaking fingers lost grip of the cup she held onto. As if it were her last line of defense, when it crashed into tiny porcelain droplets against the floor, she could no longer hold back her emotion. The tears flowed as freely as the liquid now running across their floorboards.

Aline pulled her into a tight hug. "It's okay," she whispered. Helen wasn't sure if she meant it was okay for her to miss her family or that it was okay to cry. Maybe, she had meant both. "I'm here," her love continued to console her until her breathing had returned, from short and ragged gulps, to calmer breaths.

"I love you," Aline breathed out against her neck. And it was enough. Enough for Helen to realize that while she would always ache to see her brothers and sisters the longer they were parted, she still had her family. Aline was here. And that was everything.

There would never be enough words in the human language to describe how much Aline meant to her. For now, all Helen could do to show her appreciation was to say, "Thank you." And though she hadn't elaborated, Helen knew Aline understood what those words had meant.