#halfwit

I DON'T CELEBRATE THIS HOLIDAY

I turn to you today for answers since you know so very much about sexuality. I see that Darren was wearing a sweater with pink in it and I know that for you pink and nail polish on a man are definite gay indicators. So I started looking over photos of Chris. No pink! No nail polish!! And he lives with a beard (Will) but spends an awful lot of time with a woman Ashley. He is most definitely not giving me those gay vibes. I know he has said that he was gay but how does one prove it? I think that he is secretly posing as homosexual and is really in a relationship w/ Ashley. If you look closely at their photos together you can see the heart eyes he gives her. He never looks at Will that way. Damn that Ryan Murphy!!!

I am also wondering what other colors/styles of clothing indicate your sexual preferences. I mean it is so obvious that Billy Porter is gay but what about Jessie Tyler Ferguson? His “husband “ certainly dresses in the gay fashion but he doesn’t. Or Matt Bomer? I’m so confused. Worst of all, I found myself this morning wearing colorful socks .... is it hetero to do this since I’m female?

Would it still be OK if I was trans? And I gave my sons CHRISTMAS socks this year!!!! What have I done? Will they become gay? Or bi?? How do I break this to the women in their lives??