#halfwaythereroyal

At first, I didn’t think much of him. He acted like a fucking dick whenever he worked with CIA, so my first impression was marred with rumors and stories I had heard of him from our coworkers. How he was impatient, obsessed, disrespectful, and a womanizer. Having to be his liaison and neighbor confirmed all these qualities.

As time went on though, he and I became closer. Small talk turned into friendly banter. Fleeting interactions turned into intentional time spent together. Sooner rather than later, his annoying qualities became ones I admired. He wasn’t impatient. He was insistent. He wasn’t obsessed. He was dedicated. He wasn’t disrespectful. He treated you the way you treated him. He was willing to do what’s right even though it broke the rules. He wasn’t…well actually…yes, he’s a womanizer.

Getting to know Javi these past few months, I understood why he is the way he is. For a man who didn’t keep relationships for long, he craved them. I saw how much he loves his family. There were many times I sat in his passenger seat, eating street food, while listening to his many stories of his family back home. The way he lovingly talked about his family had me hooked on every word, every expression, every gesture he made. He contributed his inability to keep an intimate connection with a significant other to the dangers of his job. He couldn’t afford to endanger anyone else especially with his line of work. Escobar was ruthless and despicable, and there was no line he wouldn’t cross to save his own ass.

As time went on, Javier became the highlight of my day. I looked for him in the winding halls of the embassy. I listened for his door to open and close when he came home from a late night yet again. I found my heart beating a little faster and a little louder every time I caught a glimpse of him. I found myself replaying every interaction we have ever had, every word, every smile, and every touch. I talked about him to my friends and family more than I would like to admit. I was fucked. I had fallen for Javier Peña.

Peña being linked to working with Los Pepes did not come as a surprise. Javi had already hinted to me that he was willing to do whatever it takes to take down Escobar and his associates. Him being sent home, however, came as a much bigger surprise. It stung to think of not having him here. He had worked so hard, sacrificed so much, only to be sent home and not be able to see the fruit of his work. I couldn’t even bear to see him pack up his desk to leave. Instead, I actively avoided any type of interaction at the embassy for his last few days, knowing it would hurt too much to say goodbye.

The night before he was scheduled to fly out of Colombia, there was a loud knocking at my door. It had been raining all day in Bogotá, so I was curled up on my couch with my oversized sweats and wine in hand. I wasn’t expecting anyone. With all the violence that had been happening, a CIA agent can never be too careful. My body immediately went on alert. I gently placed my wine glass on the coffee table, grabbed my gun, and crept toward the door. There was another set of knocks, louder than the first.

“Y/N? It’s Peña!” I stood on my toes and looked through the peep hole. Damn it, Peña. Didn’t he notice I was actively avoiding him? I unlocked and opened the door to reveal his handsome face. He was wearing a blue button-up shirt, and jeans that always fit him too well. I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t noticed. Or stared.

“What are you doing here, Peña?” I asked nonchalantly. Can’t be too eager, now can I? In reality, a warm and tingling feeling had bubbled up in my chest. I turned around and walked back to the living room. I could smell his cologne. I could feel his gaze burning holes at the back of my head. Javi took this as his invitation to come inside. He shut the door behind him and laid a pack of beer on my kitchen table.

“I haven’t seen you at work lately” he said. I sat on the couch to face him, brought my legs up, and tucked my feet under me. I looked at him basked in the yellow glow of my kitchen light. His chiseled features emphasized by the shadows cast on his face. He stood next to my table with his hand still on the drinks. He had his face scrunched, so that he had those lines in between his brows. I’m pretty sure it was permanently set that way. No amount of jokes I made could make those lines from his face disappear.

“I was busy.” Actively avoiding him. I took my wine glass from the table and took a sip. I put my free arm to hang on the back of my couch. “What brings you here?”

He took a beer out of the case he brought and opened it. “I wanted to spend some time together. For old time’s sake. One last time before I have to go.” I nodded and gestured to the spot on the other end of the couch. He sat down, took a sip of his beer, and leaned back. He pinched his nose bridge and blew out a long breath that felt like he was holding it in for a while. The lines in between his brows relaxed, but they remained visible and faintly scrunched. I really do think they have been etched into his skin. Whenever he got exasperated like this, I could almost swear his lips get a bit poutier. I gripped the back of my couch to stop myself from curling into his side. This man who has risked everything was sitting on your couch, looking for comfort. I wanted nothing more than to close the space in between us and feel his body relax into mine. I wanted to share in his worries and successes. To be there at his side. The smell of his cologne was almost overwhelming, willing me to draw closer. All these longing thoughts were easily halted by one plain fact flashing at the forefront of my mind.

He was leaving.

There was nothing that could be done about that. Javi was going to be leaving the next day, and I was staying here. Before my thoughts could continue spiraling into a pool of pining and pity, he spoke.

“I wanted to say thank you,” he looked at me with those brown eyes. Eyes that I often found myself lost in when he would talk to me. Eyes that are emblazoned into my mind at night as I play and replay our conversation from the day. “Thank you for everything.”

“You made it easy, Peña. I’m really sorry you don’t get to stay.” He fell quiet and looked off into the distance. He took another sip of his beer, leaned forward, and placed it on the coffee table. He put his elbows on his knees, and put his face in his hands. Almost instinctively, I set my glass down, moved closer, and put my hand on his back. I felt his back tense at my touch, and I immediately took my hand off. “Sorry I…”

“No, it’s okay.” He leaned back again on the couch. We were a lot closer than I thought. If I leaned my head forward, I would be touching him. My senses were heightened more than ever. The feel of his thigh against my knees. The heat of his body radiating to mine. The smell of his cologne, cigarettes, and beer all mixed into one to form an intoxicating cocktail that took every ounce of my self-control not to lean into. He was looking into my eyes as if searching for something. He was furrowing his brows, and my eyes were momentarily drawn to the pout of his lips. I saw his Adam’s apple bob up and down. I could feel him leaning closer and closer to me. So much so that I could feel every breath he took on my face. My mind and body were going haywire. Overanalyzing yet ready to abandon all thought and reason at the same time

He brought his hand up to the side of my cheek where it trailed a path to my hair. I felt him playing with my hair as we leaned even closer. His other hand took ahold of mine and brought it to his cheek. Time halted. My mind, analyzing every move he made, fell silent. The silence that engulfed in that moment was tense, intimate, and almost suffocating. He leaned forward, and I tilted my head forward, leaning my forehead against his. “What are we doing?” I whispered. I refused to look into his eyes, afraid of looking into them and seeing the realization of how stupid this moment could be for us.

“If you tell me to stop,” he brought his finger to my chin and tilted my head forward, meeting my eyes with his, “I will. You can tell me to walk out of this door right now, and I will.” I pondered his words, letting the silence hang in the air even longer. I stared into his eyes and found longing. It was as if something had clicked. My mind and body felt at peace. It felt…right. I brought my other hand up to fully caress his face and pulled him in to close the little space in between us. I felt the faintest touch of his lips on mine. “Javi,” I whispered, “Stay with me."

I felt him press his lips against mine. It was gentle. Bordering on timid. Not what I had expected at all from Javier Peña. He pulled away after a few seconds and touched his nose to mine. I couldn’t take it anymore. I moved one of my hands to tangle my fingers in the hair on the back of his head. I pulled him to me and all but smashed my lips on his. I must have taken Javi by surprise, because it took him a few seconds to respond. I felt him scrunch my hair in his fist. Our breaths got heavier and heavier as our lips moved with each other in a desperate dance to connect. He broke off from my lips to leave small kisses trailing from my mouth to my jaw to my neck. I felt his hands grip my waist, urging me to move up and allow him room. I obliged. He laid me down on the couch and settled his knee in between my legs. His kisses left a path of burning skin. Javier Peña was too much to take in.My mind and senses were muddled with the heat of his kiss. His hands on my body. The feeling of his arousal grinding on me as he kissed my neck. I tried to respond as best I can, acting purely on instinct. My hand stayed tangled in his hair while my other hand felt his arm. I often dreamed of him holding me in the very arms that encircled me now. I often fantasized what it would feel like for him to wrap his arms around me from behind, press his body against mine, and hold me.

He moved to the bottom of my sweater and pushed it upwards, asking if he could take it off. I raised myself up slightly, and he took it off and threw it on the floor. He brought his lips back to mine and snared me into another passionate kiss. My hands flew to the buttons of his shirt, attempting to undo them and failing in my haste. I groaned, both in arousal and frustration. I even tried to rip his shirt open in frustration before I felt his hands on top on mine. Javier laughed. He actually laughed. I opened my eyes and found the space in between his  brows to be free of those worry lines that often adorned his face. They were gone! I giggled as the tips of my fingers touched the faint lines that often made their residence there.

“Your worry lines are gone!” I smiled.

Javier held my wrist in his hand. His heavy gaze falling on my eyes. A soft smile remained on my face as he leaned his face into my hand and left soft kisses on the inside of my palm. My other hand was feeling the muscles and veins of his forearm. This, whatever this is, felt special. The world can wait tonight. Javier Peña was all that mattered to you right now.

He unbuttoned his shirt and threw it on the floor to join my sweater. In the meantime, I had taken off my sweatpants and started to unzip his jeans. He hastily got up and less than gracefully discarded his jeans, afraid to ruin the intimacy we had built. He joined me again in a heated kiss, and I felt his hands on my breasts, squeezing and groping.

“You have no idea…how much I have wanted you…liked you…never right time,” Javier muttered against my skin in between kisses. I moaned at his skilled touch. Javi took this as an opportunity to dip his tongue in to my mouth and wrestle with mine. He moved to kiss the tops of my breasts with an open mouth. I felt one of his hands slide towards my back. I arched my back, and he swiftly undid my bra and took it off to add to the growing pile of clothes. He placed hot, wet kisses to my nipples as his hand wandered down to my underwear. He slowly circled my clit, my underwear acting as a barrier, and yet not doing anything to downplay how Javi’s touch has affected me.

“Javi…oh my god, Javi. Mmmm…please. Please, I need you.”

“Tell me,” he whispered into my ear as he continued to rub circles that made me grow wetter and wetter for him. “Fuck I can feel you’re already so wet. Tell me what you want, querida. Tell me.”

“I need to feel you Javi. Please,” I moved my hand down to feel his arousal above his underwear. “I need…I need…ahhhhh.” Javi’s fingers had dipped into my underwear and slid his fingers up and down my pussy, spreading my arousal. He squeezed and played and circled my clit.

“You feel that, Y/N. You feel how wet you are? Tell me.” He whispered again.

“I want you in me, Javi. Please please please” I pleaded. He kissed the area beneath my ear, moving down to my neck, my chest, breasts, my stomach, until right above where I needed him most. I propped myself up and leaned against my elbows to fully look into his eyes. His eyes that could melt you even from afar.  He held my gaze as he slowly took off my underwear. He made his way back up my legs again by kissing the inside of my knee, my thigh, and then he paused. He looked at me and furrowed his brows in question. I bit my lip and nodded my head. He wasted no time in licking up from my pussy to my clit. He latched on to my clit while he inserted a finger into me.

“Holy shit, Y/N,” Javier whispered. “God, you’re so fucking tight.” My head fell back in pleasure. His touch felt electric, and my body felt like electricity was running through my very veins. My hand flew to grip his thick hair. A lifeline to keep me grounded in the blinding pleasure Javi was giving me. He added another finger and picked up the pace. The salacious sounds of Javi and me moaning as he fingered and licked my pussy at the most delicious pace filled the apartment. I felt my body tensing, my legs shaking, and my grip on Javi’s hair got tighter. He groaned, sending vibrations into my pussy. I balled my hand into a fist and slammed it on the side of the couch. “Oh my god, Javi please. I’m so…fucking…ahhh I’m so fucking close.” I was on the edge of sobbing, desperately seeking to come.

“Come on my face, querida. Let go and come for me.” Javi said in that damned husky voice of his. His fingers went in and out of me faster as he sucked on my clit. I squeezed my eyes shut as my back arched, his hands keeping a firm grip on my hips. I moaned out loud as my body spasmed in ecstasy. Javi groaned and prolonged my orgasm for as long as he could, licking my pussy as I calmed down from my high. I was still catching my breath when Javi had taken his underwear off then crawled up to kiss me. His body covered mine, and I couldn’t shake the feeling of being safe with him. He ground his hard arousal into me. I could taste myself on his tongue. This man was intoxicating, exhilarating, and dangerous at the same time. I couldn’t think of anything else outside of Javi and me. Right here. Right now.

“Fuck you’re so wet and tight. Are you ready for me, querida?” he muttered while continuing to grind into me.

“Javi, please. I want you. I need you inside me.” I reached down in between us and stroked him. He shut his eyes, threw his head back, and moaned. His Adam’s apple bobbed up and down as he tried to keep it together. He put his hand over my hand that was currently on his cock.

“It’s about you tonight,” Javier said. “Let me.”

He positioned his dick for the tip to barely be entering my pussy. The sensation made me whine, needing more. He braced his weight on his elbows, and tucked his face into my neck. My hands went to his hair and his back. My legs wrapped around his hips, hugging him to me, afraid to let go. He slowly, ever so slowly, pushed himself inside of me. The sweet feeling of being stretched and filled clouded my mind. When he had pushed himself all the way to the hilt, he stopped. He looked into my eyes and whispered.

“Are you okay?”

“Yes.”

He built up the pace. He switched from slow and sensual. Passionate and rough. He constantly kept me on edge, guessing how he could possibly add even more to my pleasure. Whenever I felt close to coming, he would slow down the pace, making me groan in frustration and him laugh at my reaction. Whenever he wanted to keep building up the tension of my pending orgasm, he would either change positions or snap his hips into me in a rougher, faster pace. We were lost in a haze of kissing and touching and moaning and groaning. Javier Peña had an undeniable hold on me. I was on top with him fucking me from below in a blissfully quick pace when my body tensed up and shook as I came. I practically screamed, overcome with all the pleasure Javi had been giving me. Not once did he ever break his focus on my pleasure throughout the night. I was still in the midst of my orgasm when Javi wrapped his arm around me and crushed me to his chest. His fingers tangled themselves into my hair. He ground his hips into mine. His thrusts losing its rhythm.

“Where do you want me to come?” Javi asked, breathing hard, trying to hold on to some sense of sanity.

“In me. I’m on the pill. Come in me, Javi.” I kissed his neck as his grip on me tightened, keeping me to his chest. I felt him coming into me. Hot spurts filling me as he buried himself to the hilt, grinding against my pussy while gripping my ass. His delicious moans right in my ear. His hot breath fanned over my hair. When he finished, I felt him kiss my shoulder and my neck. He caressed my face with both his hands. He planted a passionate kiss on my lips.

“Where does this leave us?” I couldn’t help but ask. I just spent a mind-blowing night with the man I wanted for so long. This was the stuff of dreams and fantasy. He was the stuff of dreams and fantasy. And he was leaving.

He took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and kissed my lips. I knew it. We had no choice. We had to leave us here. Wrapped up in the intimacy of our irrefutable connection. Knowing our attraction for each other would have to wait for the world. For now, however, the world can wait.

He looked into my eyes. “Leave us here.”

_______________________________________

“The scissors! Why are they never where they’re supposed to be?!”

“Oh sorry. I used it earlier,” he apologized. Bucky grabbed the scissors out of the drying rack by the sink and handed them to you, sharp point pointed towards him.

“Oh great! Thanks Bucky!” You shuffled back to the living room and got to work opening your packages and sorting out the contents. Opening the boxes was like Christmas come early for you! Except you had paid for all your presents. With your own money. But still. You heard Bucky settle onto the couch behind you, observing your glee over sorting out the colorful products into ten neat piles on the coffee table.

“Did you buy out an entire store? What is all this?” Bucky grabbed a colorful foil package off the coffee table and read its label.

“These, my dear Bucky, are my Korean skincare products. ” You turned your torso to face him. His brows were furrowed trying to make sense of the ingredients list, wondering why snail mucin was an essential ingredient. “I ran out of a bunch of my skincare stuff, and it took a while for the packages to arrive.”

“…there’s like 30 things here.”

“Yeah isn’t it exciting?!” You clapped your hands and took the mask out of his hands, placing it in its designated pile.

“I guess,” he answered. I turned back around to see his face still ridden with confusion at the amount of skincare products sitting on the table.

“Bucky, what do you use to wash your face?” you asked.

“I don’t know. Soap. Water.” You scanned his face for any signs of blemishes, but his skin looked impossibly perfect. No signs of acne. No dark spots. No redness. The bastard.

“Typical,” you rolled your eyes. “Men do so little and yet their skin stays perfect, but god forbid I eat cake or else my skin loses its shit” you muttered. Bucky chuckled from behind at your annoyance.

“I bet you look perfect without all this, doll.” Bucky remarked, trying to ease your frustration. Your cheeks heated up slightly from the casual compliment. You sorted out the last of the products before turning to face him again.

“It’s not about looking perfect, Bucky. It’s about self-care. I find ‘all this’ relaxing.” Bucky’s brows furrowed at your words. His eyes went distant — in thought — his gaze thoughtful while staring at the masks. You chose to break the silence after a few moments. “What do you do for self-care, Bucky?”

His mind snapped back to present time with a slight jolt at the sound of his name. He thought about your question for a few seconds before answering, “Boxing. Sparring. Running.”

“That works. Anything that doesn’t involve sweating?” you jokingly asked, trying to lighten Bucky’s brooding mood. He tended to let his mind wander off nowadays, shutting himself down from every thing and every one around him. After years of being surrounded by people who did not have his best interests at heart, Bucky was still adjusting to domestic life filled with people who cared about him. You noticed improvement whenever he was around Sam, Bucky, or Nat. On the other hand, it was taking a while for him to warm up to you and the rest of the team. You have been persistent, however, almost annoying so. You wanted nothing more than for the war-wearied soldier to finally feel comfortable.

Bucky shook his head at your question. “Really? Oh my gosh we have to change that.” You got up and dusted off imaginary dust off your shorts. You watched his confused expression as you held out a hand for him to take.

“What do you mean?” he asked suspiciously.

“You are going to learn about the beautiful world of the ten-step Korean skincare. I promise it’s relaxing. If you don’t like it, we never have to do it again. If you do, well, that means I have a new skincare buddy. Come on.” You shook your hand again, indicating for him to take it. Bucky glanced at your outstretched hand before peering at your eyes. “Trust me.” You whispered softly. He took your hand and rose from the sofa. Your neck craned upward to be able to fully take in his towering figure.

“Alright let’s do this.” You beamed.

Step 1

“The first step is oil cleansing. This gets a bunch of the oils, dirt, and grime off your face. Take a little bit of this balm.” You placed a small amount of the white balm onto his fingertips. You placed the same amount on your fingertips before turning to face the bathroom mirror, watching Bucky in the reflection. The scene in front of you was one to behold. The pair of you were wearing matching cloth headbands to keep the hair out of your face, towels draped around your neck at the ready. At your insistence, Bucky had also tied his hair back in a half-up ponytail. “Now put the balm on your face and rub it all around. Rub it on your neck too.”

You demonstrated the action to Bucky, rubbing the balm onto your cheeks before moving the balm-turned-oil all around your face. Bucky watched you first before slowly doing the same. “How long do we do this for?” Bucky asked, his face contorting as he moved his fingers all around, massaging the oil into his pores.

“Oil cleansing is around a minute.”

“What’s this black stuff?” Bucky looked at his fingers that had a few black rolls on them.

“Oh that’s blackheads! That means you’re doing this very well.” You smiled and continued to massage your face. A hint of a grin made its way onto his lips before he also continued.

Step 2

“Next is water-based cleanser. Take some of this face wash, and lather it onto your face and neck for a minute.”

“This is already taking so long, Y/N. How can you do this every night?”

“I don’t, but we are doing all of it tonight because I want you to take care of yourself. Now lather.”

“Yes ma’am,” Bucky jokingly saluted.

Step 3

“It’s time for exfoliating! Hold out your fingertips.” You took out a small bottle filled with a chemical exfoliant. Bucky held out his right hand toward you, fingers outstretched. You held his fingers together and dripped the dark crimson liquid onto them. “Now spread this all around your face. Avoid your eyes.”

“This looks like blood, doll.”

“It’s not. Come on!” Bucky lightly groaned at you before spreading the red liquid onto his face and neck. He and you locked eyes through the mirror’s reflection. You grinned at his and your red faces. “Ok ten minutes on the clock.”

Bucky’s eyes went wide. “Ten minutes?!”

Step 4, 5, and 6

“Toner, essence, and serum. Take this cotton pad, and squirt some toner onto there. Wipe your whole face.” Bucky followed your instructions, taking special care to avoid his eye area like you have repeatedly advised. You noticed his actions were more careful and calculated when cleansing his face with the toner. Initially, he massaged the cleansing balm onto his face similar to a child smearing paint on walls. As he relaxed into your occasional nighttime routine, you noticed his shoulders relaxing and his genuine interest growing. Small talk flowed freely between the two of you as time went on. He would smile whenever his words elicited laughs out of you, and a warm feeling in your chest would grow in response.

“Alright,” you tossed out your cotton pad. You opened a jar filled with white powder and took a small scoop out. You took Bucky’s hand into yours and placed the powder in the middle of his cupped palm. You took the bottle of essence and shook out a few drops onto the small pile of powder. You took some powder and essence into your palm as well before facing him. “This is vitamin c powder. You mix it in with the essence, and then…” You mixed the powder and liquid together and carefully spread the mixture on to your face. “You tap tap tap it into your face, neck, décolletage, and the back of your hand.” You lightly tapped the essence mixture into your skin, gazing at Bucky through the mirror in the meantime.

He followed your hands’ movements, and your eyes remained on his reflection. You noticed how his Adam’s apple bobbed up and down when your tapping hands made its way down your chest. “Bucky, you listening?” you teased. He snapped out of his trance and glanced up to meet your eyes. You raised your eyebrow and smirked knowingly. Bucky cleared his throat before tapping the mixture onto his skin. The warmth from your chest traveled up your neck, heating up at the growing tension between you two. Your eyes followed his movements, mesmerized by the curves and contours of his face and his collarbone peeking out from his Henley. The fluorescent bathroom lights cast dark shadows on his face when he looked up to tap the mixture onto his neck, the dark contours emphasizing the sharpness of his features. There was a nagging temptation to trace the contours of his face with your fingertips.

“Y/N.” You snapped out of your gaze to find Bucky’s hand waving in front of your face. He was grinning at you.

“Sorry. Got lost for a minute. Um…right…serum!”

Step 7

“Pick a mask already!” Bucky was sorting through the various foil packages, reading through the claimed benefits aloud, and taking his sweet time doing so.

“You said I have redness around my nose and dry skin, but I don’t even know what half of these things do.”

“Bucky, choose the aloe one.”

“Does it work for that?”

“I think so.”

“You don’t know?”

“Come on! This step takes 30 minutes.”

“30 minutes?!”

“Beauty takes time, Bucky!” He picked out the aloe mask and carefully peeled and unfolded the saturated mask. I did the same to mine, and we looked upward before placing the masks onto our faces. We turned around and took in each other’s appearances. Our faces were completely covered but the sheet mask, other than our eyes and mouth. A silence settled into the air before we burst out laughing. However, our faces’ movements were limited by the sheet masks, so our mouths were laughing, but the rest of our face couldn’t contort in response to the laughter for fear of displacing the mask. Our laughter slowly died down into giggles and chuckles. “Come on. Let’s go start a movie.” I took his hand and dragged him back to the living room.

Steps 8, 9, and 10 (…but not really)

The rest of the Avengers trickled into headquarters one-by-one, all of them being met with the image of Bucky and you watching a movie while wearing sheet masks. They quietly gathered in the kitchen, observing the two of you banter and laugh over exchanged stories, not paying attention to the growing group. You sat with your feet tucked under you, torso faced toward Bucky. Bucky, meanwhile, had his metal arm draped around the back of the couch, facing you. A small smile graced his lips, amused at your stories and appearance. The movie played in the background, forgotten, merely providing background noise.

The last ones to join the group were Steve and Tony. They looked around before finding the Avengers in the kitchen, quietly focusing on the couple in front of them. Steve and Tony sauntered over to the kitchen. Tony was about to speak when Natasha put a finger to her lip, shushing him, before cocking her head towards your direction. Tony and Steve turned to watch Bucky and you, still wrapped up in your own little world. Tony was the first to speak.

“So we having a little spa day?” Tony asked, walking over to the living room.

“Tony!” Your head turned to find the Avengers staring at you from the kitchen. “Join us!” Everyone slowly made their way to the living room, taking note of the neat piles of skincare products on the coffee table. “Anyone up for a face mask?” You heard the familiar rip of foil packaging from Tony, who took the liberty of opening up one of the face masks and placing it on his face. He sank down into the couch, face turned upward to prevent the mask from falling off his face. He let out a loud sigh of relief and allowed his body to slump in relaxation.

“Ohhhhh yeah. That’s the stuff.”

______________________________________

“85 now? Maybe 90 beats…” she counted to herself. Her heart felt like it was pounding in her ears, to the point where she could clearly count the beats. Counting her heart rate was a habit she had picked up to deal with stressful situations, although in this case, the stress was very much self-induced. She had all night to finish her presentation for General Organa after all. Her breaths became faster as her pace quickened toward command center, damning the fact her barracks were situated at the furthest possible place. She readjusted her notes to rest in the crook of her left arm. She brought up her right forearm to wipe away the beads of sweat gathering on her forehead. Her notes were slowly starting to slip, and she hissed at the soreness of her arm under the weight of her notes. She could not be late this time.

She turned a sharp corner and loudly groaned. Of course practically everyone else on this base was also in the very hallway between her and command center. She began to quickly make her through the hallway, right forearm swinging back and forth, propelling her through the crowd of Resistance members clogging up her path. Yes, this was the established peak time for everyone to be awake and working, but how was she supposed to know they would all conspire against her and get in her way when she was trying to get to her meeting on time?

“100 beats? Probably 120 at this point,” she muttered to herself. The pounding heartbeat in her ears was coupled with the beads of sweat trickling down the side of her face. She quickly wiped the sweat away with her right arm again. She silently cursed her procrastinating nature. She had plenty of time to get this presentation together, but the pressure of a looming deadline motivated some of her best work. She felt the the top pages of her notes slip from the pile resting in her left arm, and she quickly reacted by attempting to grab the pages with her free hand before they got to the ground. Her attempts were futile, and her pages spilled onto the ground.

“No no no no! Come on!” She groaned and bent down to shuffle the pages into her arms, narrowly avoiding being stepped on by several Resistance members. In her haste to pick up her notes, she did not see the person in front of her who began to bend down to pick up the remaining pages. She hastily snatched the last pages from the ground and snapped her body up, hitting the back of her head against something. Or someone.

“Ow!”

“Oh shit! I am so sorry! I didn’t even see…” she paused, at a loss for words, as she got a good look at the person she basically assaulted in her haste. Shit. Just her luck. Poe fucking Dameron. Her heart felt like it was going to burst out of her chest. The blood rushed to her ears and cheeks, heating up her face and muffling all other sounds around her other than the beat of her heart.

The first thing that stood out to her was the black curls that sat atop his head. How did he manage to make his hair look so perfect in the humid weather of Ajan Kloss? She struggled to get any type of volume into her hair in this heat, and yet his hair sat perfectly curled and annoyingly perfect. Next was his jawline. A jawline so sharp that she would probably cut herself slapping him. His jawline was emphasized by the hint of a beard casting a faint blue shadow. By Maker. It should not be allowed to look this handsome. It took her a moment to realize she was staring while Poe was pinching his nose bridge, eyes blinking repeatedly toward the ceiling, and tilting his head up in an effort to stop the flow of blood from his nose.

“No no you’re good. I was just trying to help you out.” Her trance was broken by his words as she looked at the injured man.

“I am so so sorry! I didn’t even see you!” She readjusted her notes securely in to her arm and clutched them to her side. She took out a loose tissue she had taken from the mess hall out of her pocket. “Here, let me look. You’re not supposed to put your head back.” She handed him the tissue which he quickly used to pinch his nose and soak up the blood. “You’re supposed to tilt your head downwards.” She gently guided his head to tilt downward by softly pulling on his hand and nudging his head forward from behind. “Does it really hurt? I am so sorry. I was running late for my meeting with General Organa.”

“I’m fine!” He said in a falsely comforting tone. He leaned against the wall for support. “It wasn’t your fault. I…uh…didn’t know it would be this dangerous when trying to say hi to someone so beautiful.”

She blinked twice, surprised at his flirting. Poe Dameron. Flirting with her after she almost broke his nose? She felt heat creep up her neck and make its way to her ears. “Oh. Thank you for that, Poe. Sorry…Captain! I mean Commander! I don’t know I…”

“It’s just Poe. No need for all that. You’re not part of my squadrons. I would have noticed by now,” he grinned, “And you are?” Poe asked, bringing his brown eyes up to meet hers. She blinked a few times, subconsciously counting out the rapid beating of her heart again, before a Resistance member squeezed through the space in between them to get through, effectively breaking the trance Poe held on her.

“I hate to leave you like this, but I’m really late to my meeting by now,” she said, walking backwards toward the doors of command center, ”Again, I am so so sorry about your nose, but I have to go.” She turned around and hastily made her want through the crowd. He pushed himself off the wall and started dodging people around him to follow her.

“Wait! What’s your name?!”

She turned around and easily met his eyes despite the crowded hallway. How were his eyes so magnetic even from far away? “Y/N!” she shouted out. She once again turned around and made her way through the doors of the command center. He watched her retreating figure with a small smile, rooted in his spot for a moment, simply staring at the closed doors.

“Dameron! You ok? What happened?” Pava asked. Poe hadn’t even noticed the fellow pilot make her way up to him. He took the tissue away from his nose which had stopped bleeding. He sniffled and placed the tissue in his pocket. He took one last look at the doors and then looked at Pava.

“Yeah. Yeah I am.” Poe grinned. “You ready for drills today?” Poe nodded towards the hangars and walked in pace with Pava, vowing to see Y/N again.

“What are you talking about?”

“Why don’t you read this sentence to me?” I pointed at a random line in his mission report. I saw him squint his eyes at his muddled handwriting, struggling to decipher the words from the messy loops and smudges. Before he could get a word out, I cut in. “See! Even you can’t read it!”

“I was working on it! Give me a minute.”

“No! I keep telling you to type up your reports so that it’s faster, but you refuse to make it easier on me. Then you have the nerve to give. me. this,” I poked the folder covering his chest with each word I hissed. “Stop giving me this chicken scratch. You’re typing up your own damn report this time,” I huffed. I began to march back to command center when I heard Cassian catching up behind me.

“No, come on, Y/N. I have a mission tomorrow, and I just got back from one today. Please, I wanna get some rest,” he pleaded. He blocked my path, but I refused to stop walking, so he blocked my way by jogging in front of me then matching my pace while walking backwards, keeping his eyes on me as we argued.

“Cassian, it takes me forever to type up your reports because I can’t read them! I’ve asked you so many times to just type it up, and you never listen to me!”

“I’m sorry, but come on, Y/N. Do me this favor?”

“No!” I shoved him out of my way and continued walking. Cassian was relentless, however, and caught up with me once more.

“How about this? I’ll read my report to you, and you type it up. That way, the report is finished, and we both get to call in early!” I stopped to look at him. There was a pause between us while I pondered the decision. It would make it a lot easier if I typed it up. Cassian was notorious for taking his sweet time to type up his reports, preferring to submit the handwritten notes he had quickly jotted down on his way back from a mission. This bad habit had angered the higher-ups, who assigned me to personally make sure his reports are typed up and submitted on time for intel briefings.

“Ok fine,” I conceded. “But you owe me.”

“Anything you want, hermosa! Let’s go.” He hooked my arm in his and sauntered toward command center, as if this was a friendly catch-up session rather than an unfortunately mandatory documentation. He plopped us down in front of a vacant computer and started to read through his notes. I sat with my fingers hovering over the keys, waiting for him to begin dictating the details of his latest mission. There was an awkward silence between us for a moment. I gazed at his face while he was squinting at his report. The space between his brows were furrowed. His hands rested against his mouth, lips slightly pouted around his fingers. His eyes flitting back and forth over the paper. One look at his face, and I knew.

“You can’t read your report, can you?” I teased, eyebrow raised questioningly.

“Yes, I can. I can read it so well that, “ Cassian shut the folder closed. “I’m gonna tell you what happened without even looking.” He leaned forward, rested his elbows on his knees, and placed his chin on top of his fists — focusing on me with those big, brown eyes and a mischievous grin on his lips.

“…you’re such an idiot.” I deadpanned, not falling for this tactic…again. “Just start telling me what to type.”

Cassian surprisingly recounted the details of his report in a striking, vivid manner. As the action picked up in his mission, his gestures grew more lively. He kept rocking back and forth in his chair — not being able to sit still — his arms and hands waving around in an effort to help me visualize the magnitude and heroic manner of his actions. His accent growing thicker as strings of rich details flowed from his lips. On the other hand, I peered at him occasionally through my peripheral vision, pausing occasionally to take in a particularly stirring moment he was narrating. The entire time, I was biting back a full-blown smile at his antics, betrayed by the upturned corners of my lips. His passionate narration was infectiously amusing, and yet I couldn’t grant him the satisfaction of knowing I could sit here listening to him tell stories for millennia. In the midst of his story, K-2SO’s towering figure came to join us.

“As I recall, it was much less dramatic than that,” K-2SO chimed in — interrupting Cassian — who was narrating a harrowing tale of how he managed to escape a dozen stormtroopers chasing him in a marketplace. The droid folded its figure into a vacant chair on my opposite side, sandwiching me in the middle.

“Yes, but it felt more dramatic because I was actually there, you know, risking my life. You were on the ship, sitting around,” Cassian countered.

“You agreed that there was a 60% probability that we would get caught if we met with the informant together. You specifically commanded me to stay on the ship because…”

“Shhh it doesn’t matter,” Cassian shook his hand and shushed K-2SO, who nevertheless persisted in telling a more pragmatic version of the mission. Their voices melded over each other, arguing over which details were correct and which were overdramatized. Cassian preferring to tell a gripping account of him nearly being arrested by the Galactic Empire. K-2SO, on the other hand, spouting off facts and statistics that dispute Cassian’s dramatization.

“Ok I think I’ve heard enough,” I butted in. “The report’s been done for quite some time now anyway,” I muttered under my breath.

“Great! That’s good. Make sure you got the part where I saved K-2SO’s ungrateful ass in there,” Cassian quipped, nodding his head and stretching his limbs. I grinned and rolled my eyes at their antics. I grabbed the handwritten report sitting abandoned off to the side. Cassian rose from his seat the same time I did, with him being closer to me than I initially thought. The distance between us was mere inches and yet all of it somehow filled with awkward tension neither of us were willing to break. He and I gazed at each other, not moving a muscle or saying a word to fill the silence. His brown eyes always looked so serious. Deep in thought and never present. I realized his recent grand show of recounting his mission to me was the first time I had ever seen his eyes so lively. As if he wanted to be nowhere else but here. With me. In this moment. Kind of like what his eyes are telling me now. My ears had muted the activity buzzing all around us, focused on what Cassian’s next words would be. He opened his mouth to say something when a voice from behind interjected into the silence between us.

“Based on body language and the amount of time you two have been staring at each other, which is quite significant might I add, there is an 80% chance she likes you as well, Cassian,” K-2SO stated. I whipped my head to look at K-2SO with wide eyes before turning to look at Cassian, who reflected my wide-eyed expression, although it was pointedly aimed at the former Imperial security droid.

“I’m…uh…I’m gonna go,” I stammered out, pulling further away from Cassian. I moved to my right, and Cassian moved to his left, meaning to let me through but instead inadvertently blocking my way.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to…” Cassian took hold of my arms as if I were about to fall. His eyes taking in my reaction to our newfound closeness. The movement made me pause, and the heat pooling in my cheeks slowly starting to spread to the rest of my face.

“I would like to increase that probability to 90%.”

Masterlist

We were gathered in the command center with the squadron leaders, waiting for the end of debriefs. Since the incident where I accidentally assaulted his nose, Poe and I haven’t talked to each other. Not necessarily for lack of effort on his part. I’ve definitely seen him. From a distance. How could I miss that head of hair and jawline? That perfect fucking hair of his.

Every time he spotted me from a distance, he would shout my name and start walking towards me. Every time I spotted him from a distance, I would quickly duck and go to any room, hallway, closet, anywhere to avoid conversation. I couldn’t say anything to his face.

Because look at his face!

That is why I ended up here now, at a briefing, avoiding his gaze knowing damn well he’s looking at me. I can feel the heat creep up my cheek because I can feel his eyes burning a hole in the side of my face. I kept my eyes trained pointedly on the papers in front of me. My leg was shaking up and down with impatience for this briefing to finally end. My notes’ legibility have long disappeared and doodles took its place. My friend took notice of my impatience and pointed focus on my doodles. They slipped their hand onto my paper and cheekily wrote “P + Y/F/I” onto the margin of the page and drew a large heart around the initials.  They started giggling, and I smacked their hand away.

“You can’t avoid him forever you know,” they whispered. “This base is not that big.”

“What do I even say?” I questioned.

“Hey Poe! I’ve dreamt of kissing you ever since I made your nose bleed. Care to make that happen?” they answered, wiggling their eyebrows suggestively.

“You little…” I moved to shove them with my shoulder when General Organa spoke up.

“Y/N, do you have anything to add?” General Organa asked. I cowered in her slightly chiding stare.

“No, General.” I answered. There it is again. The heat that creeps up on my cheeks when he looks at me.

“Nothing else? Okay everyone. Good meeting. Dismissed.” General Organa turned around to speak with someone, and the room sprang into life once more. I looked across me and latched on to Poe’s eyes. I gave a closed-mouthed smile, gathered my pages of notes, and turned to my friend, slightly widening my eyes to subtly indicate they needed to get out of the way of my escape route. I already had it planned. I was currently situated on the further side of the room in relation to the door. I was going to say a quick goodbye to my friend then make a beeline to the exit, keeping my head down, and not look at anyone else. Then it’s off to the mess hall for lunch.

My friend grinned and bumped their shoulder with mine before stepping out of my way. I walked through the throng of Resistance officers to get to the door, making sure my pace was not too fast to be so obvious.

“Y/N wait!” Poe called out. His voice was unmistakable even with the buzz of chatter surrounding us. The doors hissed open to my worst enemy: crowded hallways. Why was there always a crowd when I was trying to run away from the best pilot of The Resistance? I kept my gaze forward as if I didn’t hear him. I hastily squeezed down the hallway. “Y/N!” Poe called out again. My head twisted side-to-side before making the decision to turn left down a less crowded hallway, with only a few people scattered about. I was speed-walking through when a very well-known droid skidded to a stop at the end of the hallway: BB-8. I abruptly stopped in my haste, and the two of us stared each other down for a moment before I continued on my fast-paced quest to the mess hall, remembering the reason why I was running away in the first place. BB-8 immediately barreled towards me at the first sign of my movement, with loud, alarming beeps causing people to throw themselves against the wall to avoid the droid’s war path. The droid stopped at my feet and happily chirped in greeting.

“Hi to you too, BB-8! I’m really hungry so gotta go. See ya!” I attempted to side-step the droid who merely turned its head and rolled sideways, blocking my feet. I stepped to the other side to get around, and BB-8 mirrored my movements and blocked my path once more. “BB-8, I’m serious. I have to go.” BB-8 beeped in response, trying to carry a casual conversation. We continued a dance consisting of me side-stepping the droid, and it blocking my path while happily beeping away. I even tried faking a side-step to psych the droid out, but BB-8, a droid, had faster reflexes than me. “BB-8 come on!” I groaned. I turned around to look for an alternative route and smashed straight into someone’s hard chest. My notes slid down to the floor, and the person I crashed into held my arms to keep both our balance. I looked up.

Poe Dameron.

“We have to stop meeting like this,” Poe grinned. Damn that smile of his. “Allow me.” He bent down to gather my notes while I stared dumbfounded at the back of his head. Poe stood back up to his full height, a few inches taller than my slight stature. He gave me his signature charming smile and held the notes out to me which I attempted to grab, but he moved the notes out of my reach with an inward flick of his wrist.

“Why are you avoiding me?” Poe asked.

“I am not avoiding you!” I scoffed.

“So you casually run whenever you make eye contact with me?”

“I just need to get to places quickly. Gotta make the most of my time.”

“Right. And it’s not because of how you and I totally have a thing right now?” Poe bit his lip as the corners of his lips lifted up in a smirk. BB-8 chirped in agreement behind me.

“This,” I waved a finger between the two of us, “is not a ‘thing.’” I drew air quotes. “I need my notes, please.” I stuck my hand out for him to give me the array of pages.

“Have lunch with me.”

“What?”

“Have lunch with me. I heard that they have meilooruns at the mess hall today.”

“I’m not hungry.” BB-8 beeped behind me in disagreement, telling his human that I just told it differently when I was trying to run away.

“See, BB-8 says you said you were hungry. If this isn’t a ‘thing,’” Poe mimicked my earlier air quotes, “then you and I are just friends grabbing lunch. Come on. I’ll give you your notes back.” I tilted my head to the side and raised an eyebrow in question. Is he serious?

“Fine, but this is just friends grabbing lunch,” I finally agreed. “And this is mostly because I feel bad for making your nose bleed the first time we met.”

“You’ve got that effect on me, Y/N.” Poe smirked.

“Just friends,” I reminded him. I stuck out my hands once more. “My notes, please.”

He handed me my notes, but not before looking down at the margin of the top page, where my friend had not-so-subtly doodled Poe’s and my initials added together, enclosed in an obnoxiously large heart.

“P+Y/F/I?” Poe grinned brightly while raising his eyebrow in the most suggestive manner. My eyes widened, and my cheeks burnt in embarrassment. BB-8 beeped in a tone that matched his human’s. I snatched the papers out of his hand and clutched them to my chest, as if he hadn’t already seen the damning heart.

“So…lunch?” I asked him.

________________________________________

Part 1 + Part 3 + Part 4 + Masterlist

“Please, please, please,” I pleaded. “Go to sleep.” Hot tears of frustration were pricking the back of my eyes. The Child has had trouble sleeping since Mando left to hunt a quarry down days ago. This behavior of leaving with little to no communication in between his departure and his arrival was not out of the ordinary. He would only ever briefly call in to check on The Child and me during his bounty hunting. Then he would go about his business in order to provide for all three of you. However, The Child grew increasingly aware of Din’s absence, leaving me to deal with the repercussions. I stopped rocking the child, setting him down on the floor. I unceremoniously laid down on my back next to him, in defeat, arms and legs flayed out. I closed my eyes and took a big breath before looking up to meet his wide, black eyes still shining and rimmed with tears. “What do you want me to do? He’s not gonna be back for a while.” I questioned exasperatedly. His large ears slowly flopped down — lips quivering — before his tiny head tilted upwards and let out a cry that increased in volume until it left my ears vibrating. I groaned and closed my eyes. I decided to take a moment to recollect myself before battling with The Child to get him to sleep. Breathe. Relax. I got this. Take in this quiet moment.  Let the peace and silence take over…

Peace….silence…my eyes shot open in panic. I pushed myself up in alarm and looked all around me.

Shit. The Child was gone.

…Mando was going to kill me.

“Sweetie, I’m sorry! Please come out.” I hurriedly searched behind every crevice, panel, and under any surface of the Razor Crest’s lower level. I attempted to coax him out with promises of treats and games to no avail. My chest felt crushed under the panic of possibly losing The Child. My only job was to take care of him! The thought of Mando coming home to find that I lost The Child forced bile into my throat — worsening the panic running through my veins. I climbed the ladder to the upper level and entered the cockpit to my left. “Mini Mando? Please be in here.”

I received silence in return. I turned around to search the room opposite the cockpit until the sounds of soft cooing reached my ears. I turned back around and padded over to the control panel to find a small, green figure standing on it, playing with one of the control sticks. I plopped down into the pilot’s seat, leaning back to let the weight of panic leave my body. After a few minutes, The Child turned around to face me. His eyes were no longer rimmed with tears, but his features were still fraught with sadness. He slowly plopped down on the panel and let his head drop, sniffling. My heart broke for The Child who simply missed his father. I leaned forward and held out my finger for him to hold onto.

“He’s gonna be back before you know it, little one. You and I gotta be strong in the meantime.” He looked at me, ears moving up and down as if in understanding. He and I stayed like this for a while. The Child played with my fingers while my mind wandered to thoughts of Mando. The Mandalorian was not sociable by any means when we had met on Tatooine. I had been helping Peli Motto with repairing the highly damaged Razor Crest. I wasn’t as handy as Peli, but she called me and insisted she needed all the help she can get since Mando insisted on no droids. The Child and I had bonded while Peli worked tirelessly on correcting the damage accrued on the ship. Even Mando took notice when he returned to the hangar looking for Toro. Toro held The Child and I hostage when he attempted to double-cross Mando. This attempt didn’t end well for the aspiring bounty hunter who was quickly subdued by Mando with the help of Peli. As soon as the sparks died down, The Child waddled over to me for comfort.

Bearing in mind Peli Motto’s criticism of his childcare — or lack thereof — he invited me to be a part of his crew as The Child’s caretaker. That fateful day that was supposed to set me off on many adventures across the galaxy. Instead, most of my days were confined to the ship, making sure The Child is safe and fed, giving Mando some peace of mind while focusing on his job.

The Mandalorian. Mando. What can I say about the infuriating, beskar-clad Mandalorian who drove me insane? His imposing nature made me feel safe whenever we landed in sketchier planets, surrounded by outlaws and people who were more-than-curious why a Mandalorian was hanging around these parts. His armored figure often acted as a protective shield between me, The Child, and the rest of the world. What he gave me in protection and income should have made up for the lack of company. Should have. But I couldn’t shake the feeling of wanting to know The Mandalorian on a deeper level — past the small talk. Past the comfortable silences. Past the safety he provides despite the constant danger of the lives you lead.

It had only been a short time since I agreed to be part of his crew, but the comfort and ease I felt whenever I was with Mando was immediate. I needed to know why. Why did it feel right being here?

I was startled out of my train of thought by The Child leaning the weight of his upper body against my hand. He was quickly falling asleep where he sat on the control panel. His eyes were fluttering open and shut, fighting against the temptation of sleep. Watching his heavy-lidded eyes reminded my own body that I have been awake just as long as he has. I yawned and scooped up his small, pudgy body into my lap where he quickly fell asleep. I leaned back into the pilot’s seat and let the sleep wash over me.

I don’t know how long it was since The Child and I fell asleep, but it was long enough for me to miss the sound of the ship being boarded. I woke up to the hiss of the cockpit doors opening. My body immediately went rigid, adrenaline spiking through my veins at the thought of a possible intruder. I made a move to rise from the pilot’s seat to face the intruder when a gloved hand fell on my shoulder.

“It’s just me.” The sound of Mando’s firm, modulated voice flooded relief into my once-rigid body.

“Hi, Mando,” I yawned in greeting, closing my eyes once more and cuddling The Child closer to me. “So how was the hunting?”

“Good.”

“That’s good.” I was quickly falling asleep again, the fatigue of caring for a crying baby for endless hours anchoring me to the pilot’s seat. I felt his eyes gazing at the two of us: The Child softly snoring in my lap and me sleeping with my head leaning on my shoulder. There was a silence before I heard his heavy footsteps leave the cockpit, the doors hissing behind him. A few short moments later, I heard the doors open again and his heavy footsteps pad over to the pilot’s seat. I kept my eyes closed, wondering what he was going to do to eject us from his seat. Instead, I felt the weight of a blanket settle in my lap, covering The Child and my legs in the process. His blanket carried his familiar scent, and it took much of my willpower not to smile at the sweet gesture. He stared at us for a short time before leaving the cockpit, probably to work on the ship or buy supplies at the nearest marketplace. When the sounds of his footsteps softly faded away, my eyes fluttered open. I looked down at The Child who clutched onto my forearm, his body covered by the blanket Mando draped over the two of you. I rearranged the blanket to cover as much of my body as possible without covering The Child entirely. A tiny smile made its way to my face as I drifted off to sleep once more.

_______________________________________________

After picking out our food, he and I walked side-by-side to a vacant table, making small talk about the happenings of our day, so far. BB-8 was rolling behind us, in a manner I could have sworn was much too self-satisfied. The small proud beeps coming from the BB unit added to my suspicion that BB-8 was a part of the plan. I placed my tray on the table and took a seat, fully expecting Poe to walk to the other side of the table. Instead, he placed his tray right next to mine and took his seat. My eyes followed his actions in disbelief, mouth slightly agape at the boldness of this man. We were seated so close to each other that I can feel his body heat radiating off of him and onto me, adding to the humidity of Ajan Kloss and the heat currently creeping its way up my neck.

“What are you doing?” I questioned, eyebrow raised and the tiniest of grins sneaking onto my lips at his actions.

“What? I can hear you better this way,” Poe smirked in response. BB-8 beeped in a questioning tone, head faced towards Poe who answered. “Yeah buddy. You can go back and charge now.” The BB unit beeped its farewell to the both of us before rolling away to his charging base.

“Did you put BB-8 up to this?” I asked, taking my first bite out of my meal.

“It was BB-8’s idea!” Poe refuted. “Besides, I’ve been trying to talk to you all this time, but you keep avoiding me.”

“I was not avoiding you.”

“Yeah tell that to the time you walked straight into a wall when we saw each other by the hangar last week.”

“…you saw that?”

“I don’t blame you,” Poe grinned. “This thing is electric, isn’t it.”

“Again,” I put up a finger to stop this train of thought. I waved my finger between the two of us. “ This is not a thing.”

“You say that, but you’re smiling.” He knowingly pointed at the upturned corners of my lips. A mischievous look on his carved face

“I am…” lying to myself at this point, I thought. “…just happy…that they had meilooruns here.” I turned my body forward and took a bite of the sweet fruit, hiding the beaming smile threatening to make its way onto my face. Poe was so persistent, and he was stating the obvious. His mere presence was electric. Merely sitting here having lunch with him was exhilarating, almost as if experiencing Poe was a great adventure in and of himself.

“I can practically hear your thoughts, babe.”

I hadn’t realized I was absentmindedly taking small bites of my food while Poe remained quiet, observing me. “Oh yeah? What am I thinking right now?”

“Probably thinking about how we’d make a cute couple. Maybe planning our first date. Don’t you worry about that,” Poe tapped his temple with his finger. “I got it all planned.” I whipped around to face him, my eyes wide and mouth agape at his incredulous words. Poe merely sat there, amused at my shocked reaction. He took a large bite of his meiloorun, and the sweet juices dribbled down his full lips. Before they could drip down to his chin, his brought his thumb to his lower lip to wipe away any excess. I realized I had been ogling his lips for a damning amount of time and peered up to lock onto his knowing eyes. Meanwhile, his thumb remained on his lip, emphasizing the full, pouty (and probably soft) nature of them. Poe caught my eyes sneaking a glance at his lips again and gave me an audacious wink. I quickly pressed my lips together to suppress a smile, but again, the corners of my mouth betrayed my mind and reflected the amusement I felt from his boldness.

Oh yeah. Poe definitely knew what he was doing to me.

Poe chuckled at my attempts to repress my smile and slowly leaned closer. He opened his mouth, no doubt to make some witty remark, when a familiar voice from the opposite side of the table cut in.

“Poe! Y/N! What’s up?!” Finn beamed, clanging his tray on to the table. He plopped down and dug in to his lunch, paying no mind to the fact Poe was leaning toward my face, and I was side-eyeing him in confusion and a hint of annoyance. Rose Tico was with him but remained standing. She politely smiled and greeted us.

“Hey guys! I hope you don’t mind,” Rose added, also glancing at Finn sideways for clearly interrupting our lunch.

“No, not at all!” I turned to face the two while Poe remained facing me. Rose sat down, and I felt Poe’s forehead lean against my shoulder. His soft groan of frustration elicited a slight giggle out of me. I shrugged his head off my shoulder and caught his eyes. Poe’s big, brown eyes clearly bore frustration at the intrusion. I raised my eyebrow in question  to which Poe merely shook his head in response. He bit his lower lip before turning his body forward to face our new guests.

“Finn. Rose. Didn’t expect to see you guys here,” Poe remarked. His tone low and laced with the tiniest hints of irritation.

“What? In the mess hall? At the same time we usually eat lunch together?” Finn managed to garble out the questions while chewing a full mouth of food.

“Finn!” Rose bumped her shoulder against his, prompting him to look at her. “Close your mouth. That’s gross.”

“What? I’m starved, love. Leia’s got me training with Rey at the break of dawn every day. I haven’t eaten!” Finn swallowed his mouth of food and quickly took several more bites. Poe kept his eyes on the man in front of him, burning a hole at the top of Finn’s head. Finn, on the other hand, was oblivious to the world outside of him and his food. He kept his head, practically inhaling his meal.

“Y/N, I heard you’re going to be running point on missions now,” Rose chimed in, breaking the awkward silence that had settled between the four of us. I nodded in confirmation. “That’s great! Do you know when you’re starting?”

“I don’t know yet.” I responded. “Leia just said to stay ready, so I’m waiting on standby until she calls me in.” I felt an arm slide its way onto the back of my chair. I kept my gaze pointedly on Rose, who took note of Poe’s arm. She grinned and bumped her shoulder against Finn’s again. Finn looked up at Rose, his cheeks puffed out and filled with food. Rose “subtly” gestured to us by cocking her head in our direction. Finn whipped his head to observe Poe and me, analyzing the scene in front of him. I sat straight, my back purposely not leaning on the back of my chair to avoid making contact with Poe’s arm. My mind and body were in a battle to fight the tempting urge to lean into Poe’s side. Meanwhile, Poe’s arm casually rested  on the back of my chair, his body leaning towards mine. Finn looked between the two of us before pausing…

“Ooohhhhh…” Finn swallowed his food down before asking. “Are you guys…?” He pointed his finger between the two of us.

“No.” “Yes.” We responded simultaneously. I smacked the back of my hand against his chest.

“Ow!” Poe dramatically grunted in response, and he quickly caught my offending hand against his chest. He held my hand and squeezed it in his grip, before letting go. The combined heat of Poe being next to me, Ajan Kloss, and the growing heat in my cheeks were starting to make me sweat, but I dared not hint at any flustered reaction while Poe was watching me.

“We could leave you guys alone if you want to sort it out,” Rose offered, a mischievous look on her face. Funny. I never took my sweet friend, Rose Tico, to be a traitor.

“No. There’s nothing to sort out,” I gritted. Rose feigned innocence by holding her hands up before finally taking a bite out of her meal. Poe’s hand made its way to my shoulder, his thumb rubbing circles into my skin. His other hand started to dig into his meal. What surprised me was how natural this all felt. How his touch felt as comforting as home. I gave in to the temptation and leaned into his side, reveling in the warmth and security he provided. Poe responded by bringing his arm in, bringing me closer, and his hand continuing to draw circles on to my back. Finn and Rose took notice of our change in position, turned their heads to each other, and grinned knowingly. These two didn’t even have the courtesy to hide their obvious amusement at the events unfolding. Poe paid them no mind, instead focusing on his meal while occasionally glancing at me. Our conversation flowed freely, switching from funny tales of past missions and base gossip.

“If BB-8 hadn’t told Poe, his ass would have left me on that damn planet!” We collectively laughed at Finn’s tale of the time Poe had been in such a hurry to leave that he almost left Finn behind.

“I was just checking the engines!” Poe exclaimed!

“Stop your lying, Dameron. The landing gear was gone by the time I saw the ship!” Rose and I continued laughing at Finn and Poe’s argument. Poe was about to delve into his side of the story when one of the intel officers came up to our table and interrupted.

“Finn. Commander Dameron. General Organa requests your presence at command center,” the officer announced.

“We’ll be right there,” Poe replied. The officer nodded and walked away. Finn and Poe looked at each other and nodded. I watched Poe wipe his mouth off with a tissue before looking at me.

“Lunch again tomorrow?” Poe asked.

“I’ll meet you here,” I smiled. Poe returned my smile and brought me closer to kiss my cheek before bidding goodbye to Rose. My cheeks immediately went up in flames at his actions. He got up from the table the same time as Finn. Finn slapped Poe’s back, grinning. They walked out of the mess hall together as Rose and I watched their retreating figures. When they had disappeared from view, Rose and I turned to look at each other.

“So…You and Poe are a thing now, right?”