#halfwaydead

“My name is Vincent Kraus. I’m with the CIA.“ The man in the front of the room crossed his arms. He bore a bitter and impatient expression on his face, and his pink eyes darted back and forth, even once catching Arthur’s. “What I’m about to tell you, you cannot tell or hint to anyone else, or else you risk national security and arrest.” He ruffled his navy hair. “There are a lot of people who would kill for this information, or kill to hide it.”

Arthur, a tall boy with fluffy blonde hair and curious orange eyes, glanced around at his classmates. Their eyes were all equally riveted to the front of the room.

Vince continued. “Your class is situated on a mountaintop, far away from the view or influence of anyone. You are all in the lowest class of your school, for reasons which I’m sure vary among you. This makes you the perfect classroom for your new teacher. And now, I’d like to introduce you to her. If you may... “

The class waited for the sound of footsteps, but received none. Their questions were soon explained by the appearance of their teacher, who was, to everyone’s surprise, hovering two feet off the ground. She had milk-white skin, sparkling blue eyes, and ethereally floating purple hair. Her small body was clothed with a black dress. She bore a gentle and serene smile on her face.

“She’s... floating?!“ Julien, one of Arthur’s best friends, an enby with a navy ponytail, pointed to the gap between her feet and the ground.

“That’s bullshit!“ Adrian, a tall, strong guy with blood red hair, stood up and slammed his huge hands on his desk. “There’s no way-“ Adrian gasped when his vision of their teacher was blocked by- their teacher herself. Arthur glanced at the spot where she was standing. She wasn’t there.

“With me,“ she said, in an equally serene voice, “everything is possible.“ 

Arthur blinked. Once again, she was at the front of the room. She glanced at Vince and smiled. 

“Her name, I am told, is-“

“I can introduce myself, Vince.“ The woman gave Mr. Kraus a harsh glare. “Class, my name is Miss Narcissa. I look forward to working with you all, as well as foiling your assassination attempts.“

“Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to assassinate your new teacher. Her bounty is currently set at 10 million dollars, though, as you can see, not for no reason. Her recorded abilities include teleportation, super speed, flight, the ability to sap the life out of plants, and pseudo-telekinesis. It is your job to find a way past all of these superpowers and assassinate her. Moreover, you have a deadline. June of next year. Narcissa’s powers also make her a living bomb, one that could potentially destroy the world. If you kill her before then, she will die peacefully, without killing the rest of the planet.“

“Sir?“ Jake, a boy sitting in the front, raised his hand. “How are we supposed to do that without any weapons?“

“The government will provide you with whatever you need to perform your operations. These include guns, knives, and bullets.“ Vince held one up. It was red, and the size of a rubber bouncy ball. He bounced it once on the ground. “Don’t be fooled by their appearance. Ordinary weapons will not kill her. These things will.“

“Miss Narcissa, from you directly, is that true?“ Aditi, a girl sitting on the left side of the room, raised her hand. 

“It is.“ Narcissa smiled. 

“If you need anything else, please let me, or Mr. Kerri know.“ Vince motioned to a man with red hair, who was wheeling in carts of guns and knives. He waved to the class. “He is my assistant, and both he and I will be keeping watch over Miss Narcissa over the course of the year, making sure she does not break our agreement.“

“Agreement?“ Aditi asked.

Arthur sighed in his head. Aditi was always like this- even if it was trivial, she grilled people for the whole and complete truth. What surprised her was that she was doing the same thing to a government agent. 

“Don’t worry, Aditi.“ Narcissa smiled. “Our agreement was that they would only allow me to teach you as long as I didn’t hurt anyone and kept my own existence a secret from the rest of the world.“

“How do you know my-“

“I memorized the class list before coming here.“

“...Fair enough.“

“I’m sure this is quite a shock for all of you. But as long as you keep it a secret, you’ll be able to take her out. At this point, I will take my leave. If you need either of us, we’ll be in the teacher’s office.“ With that, Mr. Kraus and Mr. Kerri left the room.

“Geez!“ Adrian snapped. “What was that crap?!“

lily: does that say fucking sasa lele no one look at those signs

michy: sale sale. wow that is an awful design sasa lele

ares: it says sale sale

venus: what the fuck is sasa lele ares what the fuck is sasa lele

laurie: is sasa lele like, spanish or something? oh it says sale sale (mispronouncing sale as “sah-lay”). ha, got it in one.

narcissa: sale sale. now if three of those sale signs were lined up next to each other-

luke: sale sale

giselle: (she says nothing)

ivy: (at the same time as palea) sale sale wait did palea just say

palea: (at the same time as ivy) sasa lele wait did ivy just say

damian: (with the confidence of a man twice his height) SASA LELE!

flynn: sale sale...?

verona: that’s a funny design

bridget: sasa lele? wow talk about bad graphic design you know, the least they could have done is made the letters more spaced out. now it looks like it says “sasa lele”

allie: sasa lele sasa lele

jake: it says sasa lele. no that’s not right, it says- SALE SALE! (he mispronounces “sale” as “sah-lay”)

val: if i say sasa lele they’re going to think i’m an idiot it actually says “sale sale.” where the fuck did you get sasa lele-

kat: is sasa lele some phrase i don’t know? no wait wait wait it says sale sale but it’s written in such a way that... who designed these signs anyway? oh this is totally going to be meme material if i post it on my instagram. actually let me do that (she says nothing, but takes a picture)

nick: what the hell is a sasa lele? oh wait it says sale sale. who made these sale signs

angel: (he read it as sale sale on the first try) hm.

miss t: haha look that sign says sasa lele hey guys look that sign says sasa lele

vea: sasa lele? i’ve never seen graphic design that misleading in my whole life

layla: sasa lele sasa lele. (pause) wait

vince: sasa lele no wait it says sale sale it says “sale sale” fucking idiots

brooke: (with the confidence of a white girl) sasa lele

julien: sasa lele i’m going to say that and no one’s ever going to forget it sasa lele

arthur: (he just read it phonetically) sasa lele! what kind of drink is that? is it like salsa?

amelia: it says sasa lele but if i think it over one more time it says sale sale sale sale

grey: sasa lele? ah, sale signs. get this awful graphic design out of my sight immediately.

tommy: sasa lele sasa lele!

ty: should i say sasa lele or sale sale it says sale

larkspur: i know it says “sale sale” but it’s funnier to read it as sasa lele

livia: sasa lele? what’s a sasa lele?

viviel: (his eyes actually read it as sale sale) sale sale

thanatel: (can’t read while viviel is awake)

tawny: sasa lele. oh it says sale sale does that fucking sign say “sasa lele”

mai: sasa lele. hmm. sasa lele

adrian: (with the confidence of a white guy) sasa lele.

narin: ehehe! sasa lele!