this blog is a venty, dark clangen. it will feature themes listed below in the TW section. these themes will be discussed maturely and not glorified, romanticized, or glossed over.
if you like my art but are looking for something less dark, check out @daydreamclan .
this was inspired by darker clangens such as @branchclangen and @rooted-clangen .
i am using unmodded clangen for this.
this will be a mix of art and writing, but more writing than art.
the refs will not always match the sprites.
TWs
- child abuse (sexual, physical, emotional) *
- self harm and suicide
- mental illness
- murder, including murder of children
- domestic violence and sa*
- queerphobia, ableism, and other bigotry
*the act itself of csa / sa will NEVER be shown. i will portray the aftereffects and trauma of it, but you will not be seeing or reading about the act.
i will not take criticism through anon. if you want to tell me i'm disgusting for processing my trauma, say it with your chest. otherwise you'll be laughed at.
i do not TW healed selfharm scars, or any scars no matter the severity. real people have scars, and people should not be ashamed of their bodies or called scary or body horror.
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an eight moon old molly, solsticepaw has been through a lot in her short life. she is troublesome, but quick to make peace. more details about her will come in the first moon update!
under cut for cartoony blood / injuries on a kit, as well as the writing discussing past kit abuse (physical / verbal)
also this is longer than usual oops
solsticepaw hadn't really explored the forest at all. she was still reeling from being alone for what? three moons now? wow.
she'd found a nice hollowed out tree to hide in, a nest of moss and feathers becoming her new home. but she was awoken from her peaceful nap, by the cries of another cat. blearily, solsticepaw wiped her eyes and poked her head out of her tree den. a faint, pitiful mewing could be heard.
oh, stars.
she hurried towards the sound, then stopped in her tracks. a tiny kit was laid on its side on the ground, making weak cries. its side was deeply cut, blood coating it. solsticepaw tried to remember her time she'd spent trying to convince the medicine cat to take her on as an apprentice (to no avail). she knew a few things. she started to hurry away to find cobwebs.
"NNNOOOOO! NO! NO!" the kit wailed, making a much louder sound than she had before. solsticepaw turned around.
"YOU STAY!" the kit pleaded, tears in her eyes.
"i- i need to find- i'll be back, okay?" solsticepaw didn't know how to deal with this. but she did intend to come back- she wasn't heartless. she looked nearby for cobwebs, trying to shut out the kit pleading for her to return. once she'd amassed a decent glob of sticky webs in her paws, she came back.
"stay..." the kit's begging had quieted, as if she was giving up.
"i'm staying. i'm sorry." she approached carefully, and started to press the cobwebs against the wound. the bleeding wasn't so bad, some of it had closed up from time.
"ow! ow! nooo!" the little scrap whined.
"i'm trying to help- hey, what's your name?" solsticepaw asked, hoping to distract her as she worked.
"...'m hazel." the kit sniffled.
"i'm solsticepaw. do you... have anyone who's looking for you?" she asked carefully. something told her not to pry, perhaps her own experience.
"no... no one wants me anymore." the kit started to cry.
solsticepaw had followed the path for a long time now. she'd been hunting, chasing off the occasional small yapping dog, but nothing really of note had happened. she finally found herself staring up ahead at a thick forest, that the path disappeared into.
things were starting to look up. and solsticepaw had a surprise for hazelkit today.
"hey, kid. remember how when i found you, i told you about warriors?" solsticepaw told the sleepy kit, who had just recently woken up.
"yeah," hazelkit said with a yawn.
"well, there are some ranks that are higher than warriors. like leaders, medicine cats, and deputies." solsticepaw mewed.
"ooh! what do those do?" the kit perked up.
"leaders have the star suffix, and they have nine lives. they're in charge of the clan. deputies are like, second in charge. medicine cats.. they uh, heal." solsticepaw didn't want to explain starclan yet. starclan had never saved her.
"that's so cool! you should be leader. if you have nine lives you'll stay forever." hazelkit suggested.
"it's not that simple, buddy. i'll tell you more about that later. for now... i think i'm old enough to be the deputy. but i don't know what my full name should be. can you help?" solsticepaw asked, leaning down to get on hazelkit's level.
"hmmm. i dunno. i've never named a cat before." hazelkit hesitated.
"that's okay! usually cats are named after a special feature of theirs. so.. what do you notice about me?" solsticepaw hoped the kit wouldn't point out her scars. she hadn't mentioned them at all yet.
hazelkit sniffed at solsticepaw and looked her over.
"your fur is so shiny!" she finally said.
"...it is?" solsticepaw said, caught off guard by the compliment.
"yeah! i want fur like yours when i grow up. you should be shinysolstice!" hazelkit purred.
"oh! awh, thank you. well, usually solstice stays in the same place. how about solsticeshine?" she asked.
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solsticepaw spent the night in the bush, trying to get comfortable. as dawn rose, her stomach grumbled insistently.
she sighed, getting out of the bush and stretching. she might as well catch something.
the worried apprentice crouched down, hunting alongside the path. finally, she came across a small bird, pecking at seeds in the grass.
she pounced, killing it swiftly. relief flooded through her at the catch. it was rather little, but it would do for now. she brought it back to the bush and started to eat.
as she ate, solsticepaw wondered if she was far enough away from clan territory. should she go further? she never wanted to see a clan cat again.
after the bird had all but disappeared, she was still trying to decide. these feathers could be good for a nest, here in the bush....
solsticepaw shook her head. no nest, and no more rest. she had to make more distance. she started to walk along the path again.
no art for this part, sorry! (local arachnophobe tries to avoid drawing cobwebs, which is hard to do on injured cats)
tw under cut for implied abuse
solsticepaw stiffened. she understood.
"do you want to come with me? i have a hollow tree. it's really cozy." she offered.
"and you won't leave?" hazel asked.
"of course not. c'mon, let's go." she gently picked the kit up by her scruff, and brought her to the hollowed tree. solsticepaw plopped her down in a comfy area, then curled up next to her.
"why are you named solsticepaw? that's weird." the kit said bluntly.
"i'm from a clan. have you ever heard of a clan?" solsticepaw asked.
"a... clan? no. what's that?" hazel made her eyes really big.
solsticepaw paused. how could she make clan life sound less scary and awful than what she'd lived through?
"well, different cats do different things, but everyone helps out. and everyone has a special name that changes when they get older." she started.
"why aren't you with your clan? i wanna be in a clan! take me there!" hazel complained.
"uhm. my clan was mean. but... if you want, we could make a new clan that's nice." solsticepaw offered reluctantly. anything to help the poor thing feel better.
"ooh! ooh! how does that work?" hazel asked.
"well, you'd be called hazelkit for now. when you turn six moons old, you'd be called hazelpaw like me. then when you turn twelve moons, you'd get an even cooler name. and... i think the clan could be called... halfmoonclan. 'cause there was a half moon last night. is that okay with you?" solsticepaw leaned down to ask, getting on hazel's level.
"yes! we can be a clan, and you'll never leave, and i'll never have to be alone again!" hazelkit cheered.
