#half pints

Hey you—little half-pints—don’t you know you’re tying up the king and queen of this planet

Hey!

Originally posted November 26, 2019. I can’t remember the last time I was in McSorley’s Old Ale House — maybe 20 or 30 years ago. I absolutely love the place but it’s really crowded in the evening (when people tend to go out drinking), and there’s often a line down the block on peak nights. Having a little freedom of motion these days I conspired to meet my friend Jonathan Smith there at 3pm on…

Let us imagine now a bar setting.

No cups or shot glasses or bottled beers.

Clear 200ml glass thigh molded bottles,

with twistable caps.

Half-pints.

Nippers.

Glass flasks.

When you arrive, pay the bartender a deposit for your bottle.

Purchase liquor drinks at the going rate.

Amazing, conversations without drinks in hand.

Pockets and purses loaded for sipping rounds down the throat.

Gradual hands free intoxication.

Shit, have them custom made.

The glassmaker will insert a theft detection rfid within the mold.

Upon leaving with, the bartenders are notified.

This is a public establishment with the rules of a private club.

Let us slow the consumption rate.

Is the open glass, the tipping shot, the bottle of guzzled action any better?

Damn this urgency to consume.

Damn the extra work and bad looks of multiple drinks.

I once was kicked out of a casino for carrying too many drinks.

They said I was bad luck.

I like Half Pints.

Me too! I’ll just start calling myself a Half Pint. Why not? I know judearaya is a Half Pint, too. 

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