#halcooper

Posing with a pussy cat.

i have so many thoughts about this it’s my favourite topic.. thank u for your continued standard of excellence when sending asks omg I had to save yours until I had the capacity to answer properly pls forgive me 

artie andrews was under the impression his son never played hooky a day in his life when actually fred had one of the poorest attendance records in the whole school since like fourth grade. the gateway drug was when he was started dawdling on the way back from the bathroom (hall pass from Penelope in hand) and would occasionally duck out to go sun himself under the trees on the soccer field. weatherbee could see him CLEARLY from his window but he could somehow never catch him to give him detention??? i like to think he called whatever teacher fred was escaping many a time to tell on him but in a comedy of errors fred would always get away with it...

fred also used to walk around and look in the windows of other classes and wave, especially if fp or some girl he was crushing on was in there... he was so annoying but again he never got in trouble cuz he feigned innocence and said he was on his way to the bathroom or he had an important note to give to someone in the class from another teacher/the office/their mom and then he would slip fp a doodle on a piece of paper and go on his merry way. sometimes fp would pretend it was bad news from home and say he had to be excused and then would join fred in goofing off... but of the two of them fred was the bullshit master he got away with it 900% of the time. fp just got away w stuff cuz he didn't care. 

once fred had his car he would cut classes to go sit on the hood and just daydream and flirt with girls or he’d sit there listening to the radio just to chill out. he used to take long walks to go get ice cream or whatever before he had a car but but eventually it occurred to him now he could DRIVE off campus and then that was the end. off to the beach, the choklit shop, downtown, everything in the middle of the day... always avoiding his dad’s office building just in case but there were a few close shaves where artie recognized their shitty van but just assumed it was that troublemaker fp driving it around cuz his son had never had a problem w delinquency no sir.... 

but it got lonely leaving on your own so fred started cooking up schemes to have Hermione join him (cue “so that's how it is in their family”) and he’d leave with her and go to the mall or leave with fp or meet up with gladys or alice or whoever... and sometimes he didn't even make it to school in the morning he just decided on the way over that it was gonna be a day off and then he was gone. maybe mary got a ride with him one day and when she got in fred was just driving in his swimsuit and he dropped her on the steps of the school and then just drove away... she was fuming but somehow he never got in trouble for it! he was so good at bullshit and covered his tracks really well and if he got an official absence he could sweet talk his way out of them or play a well forged note from home or beg fp to call in for him... (fp did a killer artie impression) and sometimes he just lied to his parents and said he was sick and on deaths door and then bunny would go to war if weatherbee said no fred was skipping she was like MY CHILD IS ILL!!!!!! 

dancing in the dark - bruce springsteen

wanted dead or alive - bon jovi

year 3000 - jonas brothers

mama - my chemical romance

you give good love - whitney houston

doo wop (that thing) - lauryn hill

i will survive - gloria gaynor

you can call me al - paul simon

december 1963 - frankie valli and the four seasons

hook - blues traveler