#hal?

youve gone too far this time dani

Sure. This isn’t a ship I’m really into, but I kind of liked how my last Harry/Mal piece came out, so let’s see how well this goes!

“Oh Evil,” Evie groans. “Not this again.”

Uma spares the princess a distrustful glance before leaning against the same wall and watching the display before them. “I wondered why Harry was so insistent we come to the barge today.”

“Mal’s not any better. I’m pretty sure she knows Harry’s entire week schedule.”

The two blue-haired girls share a look before making similar gagging noises.

Just a few feet ahead of them, Evie’s best friend and Uma’s most trusted ally stood toe-to-toe, nearly touching chests.

“Come now, Mal,” Harry sings, twirling a purple lock around his finger. “I saw it first, give it back.”

Mal gazes at the - what is she holding again? Oh, some sort of ripped jacket - material in her hand and looks back up at Harry through her lashes. “Well I have it so… What are you going to give me for it?”

The pirate leans forward, his chest against hers, fingers still in her hair. “What makes ye think I won’t just take it?”

Uma lets her head fall back again the wall. “This is just awkward to watch.”

“No, it’s inappropriate,” Evie scoffs, crossing her arms, “even for Isle standards.”

“Just tell Mal to fuck him and get it over with.”

“I’ve tried!” Evie practically whines and turns to the captain. “She insists she has no interest in Hook in that way.”

“As much as I hate to find common ground with you, I feel your pain. Harry says the same thing about her.” Uma sighs, lazily turning to face the princess. “They’re hopeless.”

“Oh, ew.”

“What now?” Uma faces back to her first mate and rolls her eyes at the sight.

Harry, fully pressed against Mal and grinning broadly, holds the jacket just out of Mal’s reach, making good use of their height difference.

In response, Mal’s hand is fisted in Harry’s shirt, pulling it down further than is necessary. She stands on her toes to glare into his eyes, seething, “I had it first, it’s mine.”

“What are ye going to give me for it?” Harry allows Mal to guide him down to her level, so close their noses touch, and smiles at her. The hand once in her hair moves down her arm, stopping at and encircling her petite wrist.

But before Mal can answer, there’s another hand on her shoulder and voice in her ear.

“Mal Bertha,” Evie hisses, “there are children here!”

“They see violence all the time, E. They’re fine.”

“That is so not where this is leading.”

As the girls whisper back and forth, Uma grabs her first mate and turns Harry to face her. “Do what you want in private,” she warns, “but do not disgrace our crew by being so open with her.”

“Captain,” Harry whines, “we weren’t going to-.”

“Oh, yes you were!” Uma points a finger in his face and pulls him away. “You can finish your verbal fucking later, but we have things to do at the ship.”

Evie does the same with Mal, gently guiding her to the other end of the barge. “Yeah, M. The boys are waiting for us.”

“Okay, but we were not verbal fucking.”

“Yes you were, dear.”

“Evie!”

“Come now,” Evie pulls them back onto the street and up an alley, “I’m sure Jay has condoms for you to use!”

“I’m not fucking Hook!”

“Well, not yet.”