#ha.inferno

Satan bless our Princess Gingersnaps, the drama hoe who continues to feed us. According to an anonymous tip giver, Valerie has been drastically lowering her standards ever since coach hottie ditched her sorry ass. in fact, she’s been secretly dating the biggest loser ( without backne ) this school, and possibly this planet has ever known for several weeks now. Yes, that’s right, I’m talking about L-L-Leonard Fucking Johnson. I know, this is just too crazy and desperate, even by that bitch’s standards, but the tea is in her phone. This collection of screenshots of a text exchange between the two of them is beyond nasty and vile, so make sure you have a puke bucket within reach before continuing to read. 

Here are some spoilers: She most likely gave him a blowie or at least a sad handie at prom. See, I told you you don’t actually wanna read this shit.  Don’t say I didn’t warn you, folks.

Oh, and Alek Kwon and the Windsor bitches conveniently aren’t available to comment on anything right now. Personally, I smell a good ol’ exile coming up. Y’all know Lysander is just dying to kick some dumb bitch out or his cult, especially one who made it so that even fucking L-L-Lenny is getting laid more often than him. 

RIP Romeo & Juliet

oh, and in the meanwhile, keep sending me tea!

#THEINFERNO

I just got on good word that after two months of fake mourning and crying about their lying, cheating scumbag leader Dante Alvares, our fake royal cult have finally finished performing their satanic blood ritual, or whatever it is that they do when they “vote,” and officially crowned their new ruler.

Congratulations, Lysander Seo. Out of all the Windsor snakes, you are definitely the most venomous, backstabbing little viper of the bunch. I’d say it’s a well-deserved victory. Only someone as obnoxious and awful as you has what it takes to run this loony bin. May God have more mercy on your soul than he did your predecessor!

Oh, and my sincerest condolences, Houghton Academy, but honestly? Princess Elsa is the king you all deserve. Enjoy your suffering, losers!

Rumor has it, you’re all fucking screwed. And do you wanna know why?

Because there are people among you who are not who they seem to be. They’re not just your friends. Not just your enemies. No, they are spies. 

A group of try-hard Dante stans have been spying on you ever since your freshmen year, eavesdropping on you, hacking your computer, your phones, your webcams and some have even dug through your trash to learn all about your deepest, darkest secrets to please their lord and savior, Dante “The Demon” Alvares. 

...Isn’t it scary to think that you truly can’t trust anyone at this school? That anyone could know everything about you? And could expose you whenever they want?

Well, good luck on falling asleep tonight, bitches! #THEINFERNO,

signing off.