#gutter balls

How do we define ourselves and our self worth? We do it in relation to other things that we perceive as important. Civil institutions, peers and, of course, parents. What they say is important and that’s what we internalize as important. This is why there are people who value immoral things like racial superiority. They define themselves in relation to their parents ideals or their society's ideals (in the case of Nazi Germany, Soviet Russia or Trump’s America).

I used to wonder as child why people didn’t pick up on the lessons taught by television programming. Shows like Recess and The Weekenders had morals that instructed me on how to be a better friend. Characters like TJ Detweiler and Tino Tonitini learned important lessons in the span of a twenty minute episode that made them better people. Lessons on self sacrifice, equality and the power of friendship but when I would venture out into the real world, I would find that other people hadn’t learned those lessons. They may have watched the very same shows that I did but they hadn’t learned. Why? Why was my viewing experience different from theres’?

Relativism. Those lessons weren’t important to the figures in which they related themselves. An ignorant and racist father is not going to care what lessons his child was being taught by television so why should his children? They define their self worth based on his acceptance of them.

We need to broaden our range of relation. Defining yourself based on one person or institution is going to sorely limit you and hurt you in the long run. You will never get the acceptance you so desperately seek if you look for it in one place because that one place defines itself based on something else and so forth. My father defines himself based on his relation to the legal system. The legal system defines itself based on its relation to government. Government defines itself based on its relation to... god?... the people? Who knows. This is the problem.

Have you heard of Universal Basic Income and what do you think of it? I believe that it is going to become an inevitable necessity as industry becomes increasingly automated. Elon Musk said as much recently in an interview at the world government summit. Studies have shown that UBIs and raises in the minimum wage actually increase productivity and spending, boosting economies. The idea that these things raise price brackets or decrease worker productivity are stories invented to keep the majority of wealth in the hands of a select few. That’s what the economy has become as a whole: a story we tell ourselves. 

When someone has a skill, what is the first thing we usually ask that person: How are you going to capitalize on this? We measure success on financial gain. That’s the story that’s engraved into our society and it’s kept that way to maintain the status quo. It won’t be viable for much longer though. As technology continues to fulfill our basic needs, work is going to become harder and harder to find until we’ll have no choice but to implement a UBI if only to avoid anarchy.

Once we accept this and adopt a system of universal basic income, how will we measure success? Financial gain has always been humanity’s primary motivator because money is fundamental to survival, making greed essential to living and breeding competitiveness into our children, infusing hatred into the deepest parts of our collective unconscious, so deep we either didn’t know it was there or simply refused to acknowledge it (and the many who did recognize the truth, used that knowledge for their own personal ends). I think that this coming change can be sensed and this is why we are seeing such a drastic backlash in the form of men like Donald Trump. The last of the old guard attempting to assert themselves before humanity moves on. The fever trying to burn out the infection before the body recovers.

Eventually, wealth will not be the end all be all of life and something will take its place but what will it be? I hope that the new question asked when someone displays an innate skill or ability will not be: How will you capitalize on this but will instead become: How will this enlighten you. How will this bring you enlightenment and how can you share that enlightenment with others? This is a future that I will admit I sorely desire but I also believe it is necessary and possibly inevitable for humanity’s evolution.

What is God? To hear my uncle define it: God is inconceivable infinity. We are finite mortals and can’t conceive of the infinite. However, I believe I have something on my person that is infinite and that is: my imagination. It can and has constructed entire civilizations in my mind. Who is to say then that I am not a god? Perhaps my worlds exist in some other dimensional plane for me to do with as I please? 

Never mind that all humans are simply brains and brainstems and we probably created the idea of God ourselves because we evolved to ask the question of greater existence. Never mind the fact that humanity must have constructed the concept of God to make ourselves sleep better at night to soothe our fragile minds into thinking we are either protected, not alone or purposeful. Never mind that because my father informs me that my imagination is not infinite and is informed by my experiences. Fair enough but think of how far we have come!

Our stories, myths and legends continue to become more sophisticated. Television, movies and books show me other universes and tell me of grand places where all of time exist at once. In this manner, I have seen to the ends of existence. I have walked through the rolling valleys of possibility and I have climbed to the very peaks of space itself. I do so even as I type these words. I imagine the great epochs of society on the distant moons of our future empire.

Science fiction, fantasy and speculation have given way to eras of actualization. Star Trek depicts a utopia where monetary value has been done away with and self betterment is the new currency. We can dream of futures such as these but we have not figured that we can make them a reality. This is the paradox. Dreams and reality no longer have to be separated. I sit at my laptop with the greatest concern of my life being how will I earn enough money to support myself. This, in and of itself, is a crime.

There is no one god.

We are all gods.

Why do we say, “I’m sorry?” To express regret sure but then why do so many people say “I’m sorry,” when the fault so clearly does not lay with them? Perhaps they are simply being kind but what good does that do for someone who has been wronged? In theory, only the person who possesses blame can alleviate the afflicted wound with their regret. This is why so many people seek revenge on those that have done them harm. What, then, does sorry do?

When I tell you, “I’m sorry,” it is less for you and more for me. I’m not sorry I did this to you, I can’t be. I didn’t do this to you. “I’m sorry this happened to you.” It allows me to empathize with you. “I’m sorry,” creates a bridge between my soul and yours. It is so much more than regret. It creates a fundamental link between my heart and yours. It lets you know that I feel your pain and that you are not alone in it.

Regardless if the blame is yours. Sorry does not steal your power and make you weak. Sorry is the most powerful phrase of all. It lets another person know they are not drowning in a sea of their own negativity.

We do almost anything to defer them. In lands where we want for very little, choices are the greatest demons of all. We no longer have to fight to live so how we choose to live becomes our greatest dilemma. Will we make the right choice and what happens if we don’t? Will we disappoint ourselves or our loved ones? Will we be happy or will we find anger, despair, or guilt over the consequences?

This reality is yours and you should be proud of it regardless of what falls into it because it belongs to you and only you. Sadness, hatred and shame are powerful pieces of a multifaceted and beautiful existence. Do not shun their coming, rejoice in their feeling! They are a gorgeous aspect of living that only serve to compliment positivity.

The next time a choice comes around, do not shy away in fear of the repercussions, look forward to them! If your choice has aftermath, be glad you have made a change in the world no matter what it is. There are no wrong answers. There are no wrong choices.